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Is Your Teen Becoming Wealth-Addicted?

Click on YouTube and the first video trending is “Million Dollar Home Tour.” The next recommended video is “My Multi-Country Vacation” followed by “Upgrading my Lambo (short for Lamborghini).” You’ve fallen into the rabbit hole of people flashing their wealth and the expensive items they have. Next thing you know, three hours have passed, and you catch yourself thinking about how nice it would be to afford the huge homes, nice cars, and expensive vacations. Could you be falling victim to wealth addiction?

Wealth Addiction

In Dr. Bennett’s CSUCI Addiction Studies course, we learned that addiction is often characterized by three factors, compulsive use, loss of control, and continued use despite the presence of consequences. Typically, these result from drug addiction. However, they are also seen in the behavioral addictions of gambling and video gaming. If you compulsively seek get-rich-quick schemes, can’t stop watching online flex videos, and make rash decisions in your quest for wealth, you might be wealth addicted!

Wealth addiction or money addiction is a fairly old concept that is currently being fueled by new social media trends. Philip Slater’s 1983 book, “Wealth Addiction” illustrated how Americans are addicted to money.[1] Thirty-six years later, more and more people seem wealth addicted than ever.

In his 1999 research, economist Romesh Diwan compared wealth to the general quality of life. He discovered that the overconsumption of materialistic items promotes wealth addiction. Diwan said that people believe that if they buy the material item they’ve been longing for, they’d be happy. However, his research surprisingly demonstrated that purchasing those items did not fulfill the need and want, instead leaving the consumer anxious and dissatisfied.[2]

Key Influencers

Many YouTube stars flaunt their wealth and material possessions in their videos. For example, YouTuber Jake Paul has 19.6 million subscribers on his channel.[3] As of 2018, his net worth was nearly $19 million.[4] Paul shows off how much money he has by posting videos such as, “I Spent $1 Million Dollars On This Vacation” where he documented an expensive vacation with his brother and friends.[3] In another video called, “I Spent $100,000 in 56 Minutes,” Paul created a competition where he and five of his friends had to spend $10,000 cash in less than an hour.[3]

Jeffree Star is another popular YouTuber who shows off how much money he has. With 15.9 million subscribers as of 2018, Star’s net worth is almost $75 million.[4] Star also posts videos that flaunt his wealth such as, “My Pink VAULT Closet Tour,” where he gave a tour of his dream closet in his home that is full of designer clothes.[5] In another video titled, “Surprising my Boyfriend with His Dream Car,” Star bought his boyfriend an Aston Martin Vantage worth roughly $150,000.[5]

The Benefits of Wealth Addiction

Not all aspects of longing for wealth are negative. For instance, if a watcher is encouraged to pursue higher education to get into a higher-paying career, one might argue that the dream is worthwhile.

Another positive aspect of wealth addiction is sparking the desire to give back with philanthropic gestures. Despite his obscene displays of wealth, Jeffree Star donates money to several charities including victims of gun violence and LGBTQ organizations.[6]

The Risks of Wealth Addiction

Teaching kids that wealth is the highest priority may lead them to seek wealth from opportunistic marketers. For instance, several years ago in Camarillo, a get-rich-quick scheme was introduced to popular high school and college students causing a rash of school dropouts. The product called Vemma Nutrition promised riches in exchange for selling their energy drinks and protein shakes. To get in on the action, the seller had to purchase the products themselves.[7]

Another risk is kids seeking wealth in place of healthier activities like academics, sports, and socializing. After binge-watching videos, they may get duped into believing that money will solve all their problems and make them happy. Of course, this may not be true, instead luring them into false hope with pressure to show off wealth instead of saving or investing in their future.

For some, the first goal of earning is never enough. They chase wealth in a quest to find true happiness. That could translate into depression and anxiety. Addiction studies tell us that living to chase a high is a dead-end scenario. If wealth is the goal, will you ever reach it?

Thank you to GKIS intern, Makenzie Stancliff for alerting us about the risks of wealth addiction. If you learned something about this article, please join us on our DrTracyBennett Instagram page so you won’t miss out on other fun GKIS opportunities.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] Peele, S. (2015, February 8). Addicted to Wealth – A National Trait? Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/addiction-in-society/201402/addicted-wealth-national-trait

[2]  Diwan, Romesh. (2000). Relational wealth and the quality of life. Journal of Socio-Economics, 29(4), 305. https://doi-org.summit.csuci.edu/10.1016/S1053-5357(00)00073-1

[3] JakePaulProductions. (n.d.). Jake Paul. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcgVECVN4OKV6DH1jLkqmcA

[4] Chakrabarti, R. (2019, September 15). The Highest-Paid Stars on YouTube. Retrieved from https://moneywise.com/a/the-highest-paid-youtube-stars

[5] jeffreestar. (n.d.). jeffreestar. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkvK_5omS-42Ovgah8KRKtg

[6] Diply. (2018, October 24). 15 Facts About Controversial YouTuber Jeffree Star. Retrieved from https://diply.com/11366/15-facts-about-controversial-youtuber-jeffree-star

[7] Press, T. A. (2015, August 26). FTC: Vemma temporarily shut down for running pyramid scheme. Retrieved from https://www.ksl.com/article/36179492/ftc-vemma-temporarily-shut-down-for-running-pyramid-scheme.

Photo Credits

Photo by Alexander Milson Unsplash

Photo by Christian Wiediger on Unsplash

Photo by Andrew Ponson Unsplash

My Kids Forbid Sharenting, and It Sucks

I taught my kids all about online safety, and now they use it against me. I’m a screen safety expert and a psychologist, and I admit I’ve had a screwed up relationship with Facebook. It started out that it was such a new and cool forum to check out the lives of people you like and had genuinely lost touch with. It was so fun to see that college roommate who actually became a journalist…or that high school boyfriend who kicked his weed habit and seems to have a great marriage with happy, healthy kids. And how exciting to show everyone how great your kitchen remodel turned out and how your kids were rockin’ those new backpacks the first day of school. Early on, Facebook was a beautiful landscape of fresh faces and fun stories…kind of like the first 30 minutes of your ten-year high school reunion. But then, just like that high school reunion, people started revealing the other annoying sides of themselves.

You know what I mean by that. Your cousin who constantly brags about her relationship when you know she kicks her husband out every other month. Or that friend who sensationalizes other people’s tragedies by pretending she is totally distraught and constantly praying – and you know she’s only talked to them three times. Your bigoted Uncle Bob spews racist rhetoric, and you get drawn into ugly political debates and later have to delete your overzealous comments after the bloodshed. At some point in accumulated online trauma, Facebook wasn’t as fun anymore.

Our kids witnessed it. They posed for us and encouraged us to share at first. But after a while, they caught on that some of the humor parents shared about the challenges of parenting weren’t very nice. They realized that their beaming grin with braces and green, shiny pool hair after their fourth-grade summer wasn’t very flattering. They started to fear that their parents were using them to promote the family’s community image…and it felt kind of fake. They were feeling used to prop up a virtual ego that was kind of pathetic.

Besides, kids love to kill their parent’s joy. I’m the mother of three, ages 25, 17, and 15 years old. Nobody calls me out more brutally than my teenagers. They don’t even try to be nice about it. They started to tell me, in no uncertain terms, that I wasn’t to post photos of them anymore without their permission. And me begging them to post was humiliating, so I quit doing it.

Look, I’m not ashamed of being a crazy mom. I love my kids. I want to show others how awesome I think they are. I also know I’m not alone. I hear about these issues every day in my clinical office. Some parents do it anyway…but it damages the trust in the family. Others, like me, post about our adult lives outside of our kids. We know that our Facebook friends are a different tribe than our nonvirtual one. There’s overlap, sure, but we only have the opportunity to interact with some of them on Facebook, and we don’t want to give those relationships up.

Go ahead and troll me and tell me what a loser I am that I still post. But let’s be honest here. Most of us still use Facebook to at least check in with others. Some have gone Facebook free, and, like recovered smokers, they love to tell us how it’s made their lives more precious. It probably has, but for now, I’m still posting about travels and puppies and the occasional funny meme. I’ve hidden the Uncle Bobs and fake prayers while celebrating those I’m truly fond of and rooting for.

And as for the kids who are revolting due to sharenting…have at it you guys! Yes, many of you are hypocritical as you constantly post on Snapchat. You may even assert yourselves more to boss your parents around than because you have an actual concern. But the fact that you have a passionate opinion and the assertiveness to state it is the kind of resilience I believe in as a parenting expert. You are the best advocates for GetKidsInternetSafe. Because typically, the kids who speak up to their parents are not blindly obedient pleasers. They have informed opinions and well-honed voices of confident digital natives. That practiced voice of calm and intelligence may save them from a bad actor they run across online or in their three-dimensional lives. I think that, even though we want to share the parenting part of our lives with our friends, posting should require shared consent. Kids do have rights.

As for our family, with the exception of a few side profiles here and there, I have opted not to put my kids’ faces on my promotional materials for GetKidsInternetSafe. I also don’t share them on my Facebook profile or cover photos, because they are public and not private.

Occasionally, my kids throw me a bone and allow me to post pics of them here and there. But once they’re up for a bit, I typically delete them – kind of like a manually-disappearing-profile ala Snapchat for old people. The truth is, it creeps me out to have a running photo commentary of my life that weird acquaintances could excavate if they were lurking.

For parents of young kids, get ready. One day you’ll hear a protest about it. If you listen and respect their great reasons for not consenting, it’ll be a learning opportunity that will build up your relationship. If you blow them off and play the authority card, you’ll be squelching their voices. Either way, it’s annoying to be told what to do by a tween or teen. But honestly, I’d much rather watch my kid be an outspoken advocate for themselves than a compliant pleaser. Wouldn’t you?

Thanks to Thriveglobal.com for publishing this article.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Insta-Famous Brings Insta-Anxiety

Instagram reports 1 billion monthly active users and more than 500 million daily users.[1] Most teens use social media for more than 6 hours per day.[2] Many social media users have shifted in intention, placing the highest importance on becoming insta-famous rather than sharing information with close friends. Insta-famous refers to a person who is well-known on Instagram, reflected by thousands of followers and likes. Teens can become consumed in this virtual competition for internet popularity, sometimes leading to a destructive pattern described in my book, Screen Time in the Mean Time: A Parenting Guide to Get Kids and Teens Internet Safe, as compare and despair.

Insta-worthy? Self-Presentation Theory and Impression Management

Many Instagram users lurk profiles, consumed by other people’s lives and perfecting their virtual selves. According to self-presentation theory, people are motivated to present themselves to show off an ideal self and please their audience.[3]

Our front is our best-stylized image. Our backstage is our true selves. Maintaining too many fronts can be overwhelming. Being great at impression management can be the difference between social media success or failure.

Shout Out for Shout Out

A SFS (Shout out For Shout out) is a branding strategy for optimal self-presentation on Instagram. It refers to teens posting someone else’s account to theirs and vice versa. The goal is to cooperatively promote their pages so both people gain more followers.

As self-presentation trends change in pop culture, so do trends online. In 2008, graphic t-shirts were the cool thing to wear to school. In 2015, hipsters ruled the school. And in 2019, the VSCO look was in. VSCO is the name of the popular app used to create fun colorful edits.

A “VSCO girl” has beach-wavy hair, carries around a hydro flask, has a scrunchie around their wrist, and shops at thrift stores and Urban Outfitters. My 13-year-old cousin shares, “Everyone wears skirts, Doc Martens, and scrunchies now. It’s so VSCO.”

Evolution and Optimal Distinctiveness

With popular editing apps such as VSCO or FaceTune, many social media users have unrealistic expectations for how attractive they should look in posts. Humans are social beings. We work best collaboratively. Social rewards like compliments, words of appreciation, affection, or being with a friend, are major behavioral motivators for young people.[3]

Seeking social reward and trying to achieve optimal distinctiveness (being unique but still super stylish) can be traced back to our ancestors. Belonging to a community meant being socially accepted and supported by a group of others. Many times, this meant life or death.

For teens today, that means walking a razor’s edge trying to look unique while still fitting in with peers. In this impossible quest, teens may be juggling several virtual and nonvirtual selves. Being too unique or too the same invites criticism and cyberbullying.

Getting social media likes rewards the brain with dopamine, the neurotransmitter released in the pleasure center.[2] Instagram programmers know it and bake it in so they can make more money.

Social media influencers are experts at achieving optimal distinctiveness. Viewers spend a lot of time and money trying to do the same. Views and likes result in millions of dollars in profit. This biological hack of social acceptance and connection makes the brand more profitable.

Risks of Social Media

Insta-Anxiety

The constant pressure to stay up to date with trends can cause compulsive online browsing and anxiety. Most teenagers do not have jobs to maintain the lifestyle that many YouTubers do. Social anxiety and the fear of being judged by peers can be overwhelming alongside daily social obstacles that teens face like bullying, hormonal changes, and self-judgment. Instead of fun, spontaneous sharing, teens can get caught up in compulsively second-guessing their posts or avoid sharing altogether.

According to recent studies, social media use has contributed to an increasing number of cases of social anxiety disorders in adolescents.[2] Untreated, anxiety can contribute to other mental health issues including depression, eating disorders, substance abuse, and even thoughts of suicide.

Social Anxiety Disorder Symptoms include:

  • Lack of desire to socialize
  • Being withdrawn
  • Feeling embarrassed or a deep fear of being judged by others

Low Self-Esteem

Forty-six percent of teen girls admit that social media makes them feel bad about themselves due to unrealistic standards.[2] Self-esteem is elevated when individuals are deemed popular by others. For example, having Facebook friends who are more responsive can satisfy psychological needs above and beyond the number of Facebook friends one has.[4]

Seeking Positive Feedback

We all like to know that people find us attractive. Social media, however, can impact us in ways we aren’t even aware of. For example, a 2018 study found that when young women received likes for sexy selfies, they were more likely to post similar photos again.[3]

Lack of Privacy

Teens don’t have the prefrontal brain development to anticipate consequences and engage in high order thinking. Subsequently, teens may not think ahead, instead focusing on the instant gratification of someone liking or commenting on their post. This can cause a habit of oversharing online. Eighty percent of people who commit crimes have taken information from social media sites.[5]

Ways to Improve Your Teen’s Emotional Reliance & Achieve Better Online Safety

To avoid triggering insta-anxiety, make sure your kids are neurologically, socially, and emotionally mature enough to manage risk. Although she says it depends on the child, Dr. Bennett recommends avoiding social media until the second semester of middle school.

Experts agree that Social Media Readiness Training is critical to help kids recognize risk, know how to ask for help, and self-manage use.

Use our free Connected Family Screen Agreement to set parameters and create a screen-friendly, cooperative dialogue. Just enter your email and name on our website, and it will be delivered directly to your email.

Encourage teens to share positive, healthy activities like travel, philanthropy, and college- or career readiness. Strengthening one’s motivation and goals allows teens to better separate self-esteem from social feedback.[4] Check out our GKIS article, The Social Media Teen Résumé. How to Expertly Stylize Your Cyber Footprint to Attract College and Employment Opportunities, for how-to help.

Create a customized filtering, tracking, and monitoring toolkit with the GKIS Screen Safety Toolkit. This course also offers smart parenting strategies, like making sure you have social media login information for back-end access.

Thank you to GKIS intern, Isabel Campos for alerting us about the risks of insta-anxiety. If you learned something, please share GKIS articles and tools with friends and family!

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] “Our Story.” Instagram, 26 Mar. 2019, instagram-press.com/our-story/.

[2] Granet, R. (2016, September 19). Living In Live Time: Social Media’s Impact   On Girls. Retrieved from  https://newyork.cbslocal.com/2016/09/19/social-media-use-teens/

[3] Bell, Beth T., Cassarly, Jennifer A., & Dunbar, Lucy. “Selfie-objectification: Self objectification and positive feedback (‘likes’) are associated with frequency of posting sexually objectifying self-images on social media.” Body Image, 26, 83–89. September 2018.  https://doiorg.summit.csuci.edu/10.1016/j.bodyim.2018.06.005

[4] Burrow, A. L., & Rainone, N. (2016). How many likes did I get?: Purpose moderates links between positive social media feedback and self-esteem Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 69, 232-236  https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2016.09.005

[5] Law Enforcement, Social Media and Your Privacy: How Your Data is Used to   Solve Crimes. (2018, May 16). Retrieved from   https://www.nextadvisor.com/law-enforcement-social-media-and-your-     privacy-how-your-data-is-used-to-solve-crimes/

Photo Credits

Photo by Omkar Patyaneon Stocksnap

Photo by rawpixel.com from Pexels

Photo by Tea Horvaton Pexels

Photo by Ahmed Aqtaion Pexels

Photo by Dominika Greguson Pexels

Five Quick and Organization Hacks from a Screen Safety Parenting Expert


Now that I’m an “older” working mom, I love to share offline and online organization hacks and efficiency grabs that have saved me through the years. These organizational techniques were the difference between frazzled and peaceful at our house. With the overtasked lives we lead, most of us are guilty of brain fades and frantic searches while yelling and scolding overwhelmed kids. Even if you set up only one or two of these ideas, it may be the difference between fun family mornings versus a school day launched with tears and resentment.

Unclutter study spaces by setting up customized, distraction-free workspaces in niches and corners for each kid.

Kids in my practice often complain that the kitchen table is too distracting to get homework done quickly and neatly. The psychological research agrees. Studies reveal that fractured attention leads to irritability, wasted time, and poor grades. To optimize learning, set up a quiet corner office for each child. All it takes is a willingness and clever organization ideas and fresh accessories. Check out my GKIS Connected Family Online Course for a detailed blueprint for creating award-winning maker spaces with awesome Pinterest DIY ideas. A customized works station is a compelling magnet to get your kids creating in 3-dimensional space as a complement to screen learning. Ergonomic, body-healthy setups in the place of slouching on beds and couches avoid repetitive stress injuries to the neck, back, wrists, and hands.

Avoid missed soccer practices and study deadlines by setting up a digital family calendar.

Family schedules are chaos! Streamline communication and scheduling by color-coding child activities and setting up Family Share on Apple’s Family Calendar, Google’s Calendar, or Microsoft’s Outlook. Each member can share calendared activities and set up automatic reminders. Shared organization at a glance!

Just as you throw out old clothes your kids have grown out of, it’s also important to declutter digital spaces.

  • Schedule a fresh-start fall family meeting where everybody gathers with their mobile screen devices to trash apps and games they have grown out of.
  • Revisit (or grab) your free GKIS Connected Family Screen Agreement at GetKidsInternetSafe.com. This will help you set sensible rules like a digital curfew and create screen-free zones – including bedrooms and bathrooms.
  • Finally, teach cybersecurity measures from my Cybersecurity Red Flags Supplement. New this fall, you and your family members can tweak bad habits so don’t fall victim to bad actors online.

Cleanse social media profiles with an eye toward future reputation.

If your tween or teen is on social media already, you know the time-suck risks during school time. Help them sort out the necessary from the unnecessary by helping them avoid the bio-hack elements designed to capture their attention.

  • Consider limiting teens to only one or two social media apps to decrease wasted time due to mindless browsing and compulsive checking.
  • Insist that apps with visual notifications be on the second swipe screen on smartphones. That way they won’t get distracted by little red notifications and, instead, can batch their check-in times as research suggests is best.
  • Teach them how to recognize marketing techniques so they don’t get sucked into unnecessary buys using my How to Spot Marketing Red Flag Supplement.
  • And finally, delete old posted photos and unnecessary personal information from social media history. Sharing real-time with friends on a private profile is fun, but do you really want somebody lurking through your past photo-by-photo? Point out that other parents, relatives, teachers, coaches, future employers, and even college app administrators may be forming impressions based on your digital footprint. So instead of having an online resume populated by off-color jokes and sexualized photos, create a flattering stream of artistic works, philanthropic activities, sports activities, and fun friend and family time. A progressive, balanced, healthy life looks beautiful online – and may help you get a college placement or dream job instead of hinder it!

Reboot your Screen Safety Toolkit.

Each developmental stage offers unique online safety challenges. For example, little kids are best accommodated in a walled digital garden like YouTube Kids, and older kids need a little more digital space to explore and create. To parent well in the digital age, you need specially-selected free and third-party software tools to help you filter and block inappropriate content, set time-limits, monitor online activity use, remotely pause or offer rewards, and even locate and track the driving activities of your teen. If you get overwhelmed or need help figuring it all out, check out my GKIS Screen Safety Toolkit for tips, product recommendations, links to ISP and social media app safety guides, and free digital learning tools for best academic performance.

There you have it! Five quick and easy parenting hacks that will launch the school year with fun and success. Just as I recommend shoes live by the front door so you are not always searching, digital folders and organization tools will keep you dialed-in in your virtual life. Most importantly, set a peaceful intention with a six-second exhale for positivity and fun each morning before you enter the family’s living space. Parents must actively define the heart of the home. If we start the morning with a smile and warmth, our kids emotionally synch and return the joy. Soak in every chaotic and blissful moment!

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Also, if you are a local Southern Californian and need a little TLC to get started on your screen safety/fun parenting plan, join me for a morning of pampering and friendship.

Photo Credits

Photo by DESIGNECOLOGIST on Unsplash

Photo by Kari Shea on Unsplash

Photo by Jealous Weekends on Unsplash

Photo by Matheus Ferrero on Unsplash

Photo by John Schnobrich on Unsplash

GetKidsInternetSafe Response to President Trump’s Comments Linking Violent Video Games to Hate Crimes

Yesterday in response to the El Paso and Dayton mass shootings, President Trump stated, “We must stop the glorification of violence in our society. This includes the gruesome and grisly video games that are now commonplace. It is too easy today for troubled youth to surround themselves with a culture that celebrates violence. We must stop or substantially reduce this and it has to begin immediately.” In response, #videogamesarenottoblame started trending on social media. Talk show hosts came out in force stating that there are no research studies linking video games to mass shootings and youth in other countries play video games, yet they do not have mass shootings like America. Consistent with their argument, as video game playing has gone up, juvenile delinquency has gone down. Even Trump’s own 2018 school safety commission produced recommendations that do not support yesterday’s statement. But as founder of GetKidsInternetSafe, I’m behind the President on this one that the on-demand violent entertainment that proliferates American culture deserves serious discussion. Of course, video games are not the sole cause of hate crimes, nor is the research clean about video games causing violence. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t a contributing factor (among many) to making troubled people vulnerable to radicalization online.

In the wake of 31 additional innocent lives lost to senseless gun violence at the hands of extremists, we can all agree that we have reached a crisis point in the United States. The horrific violence of recent hate crimes demand that our leaders act with moral clarity and urgency of action. But they need our support to get this done. They cannot act decisively if everybody gets hysterical and arm-chair quarterbacks every statement of action. Instead of emotional one-sided arguments, let’s think through some of his points about violent entertainment and video games. After all, our kids are at virtual war several hours a day. It is common sense to consider that this may have negative impact on some of them…especially the psychologically vulnerable.

Here are two applicable excerpts from my book, Screen Time in the Mean Time: A Parenting Guide to Get Kids and Teens Internet Safe, that address violent entertainment consumption in America:

***

Violence for Profit: Passive Viewing of Television and Video

The United States has long been criticized as the dominant creator and celebrator of violent entertainment. Chalk it up to our fierce protection of the right to bear arms or our thirst for thrilling content, more and more Americans are fans of violent sports, television, movies, and video games. As adults gobble up violent content for entertainment, our children are too often exposed to violence early and often with little regard to the damage it may cause. Everybody is doing it. Right? Right. Yet it has been widely demonstrated that viewing screen violence, passively and interactively, causes aggressive and hostile behavior in children and adults. However, not everybody who watches violent TV or plays violent video games acts aggressively. How much is too much for children who are vulnerable due to immature brains?

First, we must accept that not all screen time is equal. Screen viewing can be passive (watching television and videos) or interactive (screen touch and video games). In regard to passive viewing of violent screen content, the American Psychological Association Council Policy Manual on Violence in Mass Media (1994) concludes from decades of research that there is correlative and causal risk. It specifically states:

On the basis of over 30 years of research and a sizeable number of experimental and field investigations, viewing mass media violence leads to increases in aggressive attitudes, values, and behavior, particularly in children, and has a long-lasting effect on behavior and personality, including criminal behavior;[i],[ii],[iii]

Viewing violence desensitizes the viewer to violence, resulting in calloused attitudes regarding violence toward others and a decreased likelihood to take action on behalf of a victim when violence occurs;[iv]

Viewing violence increases viewers’ tendencies for becoming involved with, or exposing themselves to, violence;

Viewing violence increases fear of becoming a victim of violence, with a resultant increase in self-protective behaviors and mistrust of others; and

Many children’s television programs and films contain some form of violence, and children’s access to adult-oriented media violence is increasing as a result of new technological advances.

These conclusions are particularly troubling when one considers that, despite these findings existing for decades, the Internet and screen technology has exploded access to on demand violent content for all ages. The younger the child, the more time viewed, and the intensity and applicability of the content, the more potential developmental impact. Research demonstrates that children who have not yet started talking are affected by screen viewing in ways parents cannot recognize and that impact changes month-to-month, year-to-year. Furthermore, even kids as young as infants who view alongside an older sibling or a parent may still be negatively affected by inappropriate content.

Violence for Profit: Gaming and Interactive Screen Use

All parents want their children to succeed and live happy lives. We’ve generally accepted that screens are part of it. But parents often wonder, how much impact does violent gaming content have on psychological process? Too often we are seeing school shooters reference violent video games in their pre-attack manifestos. Do we have anything to worry about?

The five main video game play genres include action, role-playing, simulation, strategy, and sports. Gaming ranges in content and interactivity from simple puzzle games to complex massive multiplayer online role-playing games (MMORPGs). In MMORPGs, a large number of people play online together as developed characters in complex, online lands with shared goals in real time. Platforms for gaming include smartphones, tablets, handheld gaming devices, computers, gaming consoles, and the developing market of virtual reality (wearable devices with sensors like a helmet, goggles, and gloves where users can “interact” with a three-dimensional environment) and augmented reality (computer-generated images superimposed on the player’s view of the real world, resulting in a realistic composite of real and virtual life).

Other new, immersive auditory and visual adjunct technologies include transmedia storytelling (story content presented across multiple platforms and formats using digital technology), mini-games (video games contained within video games), chrono- and geolocation (identifying the time and location of players), and object linking (embedded links that lead the player to sequential digital locations). With multibillions of dollars earned each year from the gaming market, gamevertising has also become increasingly prevalent. This means that games are being expertly designed for product placement and with manipulative neuropsychological principals built in to ensure that gamers stay online and spend more money.

Beyond education and entertainment, benefits that can be gained from playing video games include improvements in visual-spatial capabilities, reaction times, attention span, ability to process multiple target objects, and detail orientation,[v] as well as improved visual short-term memory, mental rotation, tracking, and toggling between tasks.[vi] Video games can also help with anxiety and mood and improve relaxation and improve problem solving, strategy building, goal setting, and cooperation with others.

Video games also have vocational applicability and can be customized for specific tasks, such as orienting and motivating employees, providing health care benefits like exercise or illness care, or teaching specialized skills like performing surgery or sporting ability.[vii] Some gamers compete in profitable e-sport tournaments in person and online, while others learn computer programming skills that can be marketable as a career specialty. Mastery of video games provides opportunity for increased confidence, social connection and networking, and self-esteem. Social benefits are particularly valuable for players who may be isolated by geographic remoteness or physical or mental disability.

Along with benefits come risks. Ninety-seven percent of teens play video games, and more than 85% of video games have violent content.[viii] As with all complex psychological phenomena, different effects happen in different situations with different people. Thus, issues like content, time spent playing, and player vulnerabilities due to family life or mental health must be taken into account when considering effect.[ix]This makes for messy factors to control for quality research and controversial opinions about the risks of violent video games.

Meta-analytic reviews of research have found that violent video games can cause aggressive behavior, aggressive thinking styles, and aggressive mood, as well as decreased empathy and prosocial behavior. In regard to the effect of violent video games on children, teens, and adults, the American Psychological Association Council Policy Manual Resolution on Violent Video Games (2015) concludes:

A convergence of research findings across multiple methods and multiple samples with multiple types of measurements demonstrates the association between violent video game use and both increases in aggressive behavior, aggressive affect, aggressive cognitions and decreases in prosocial behavior, empathy, and moral engagement;

All existing quantitative reviews of the violent video game literature have found a direct association between violent video game use and aggressive outcomes;

This body of research, including laboratory experiments that examine effects over short time spans following experimental manipulations and observational longitudinal studies lasting more than two years, demonstrates that these effects persist over at least some time spans;

Research suggests that the relation between violent video game use and increased aggressive outcomes remains after considering other known risk factors associated with aggressive outcomes;

Although the number of studies directly examining the association between the amount of violent video game use and amount of change in adverse outcomes is still limited, existing research suggests that higher amounts of exposure are associated with higher levels of aggression and other adverse outcomes;

Research demonstrates these effects are for children older than 10 years, adolescents, and young adults, but very little research has included children younger than 10 years;

Research has not adequately examined whether the association between violent video game use and aggressive outcomes differs for males and females;

Research has not adequately included samples representative of the current population demographics;

Research has not sufficiently examined the potential moderator effects of ethnicity, socioeconomic status, or culture; and

Many factors are known to be risk factors for increased aggressive behavior, aggressive cognition and aggressive affect, and reduced prosocial behavior, empathy and moral engagement, and violent video game use is one such risk factor.[x}

Not only do video games affect gamers in the immediate, but they can also lead to increased aggressive behavior later in life.[xi] Furthermore, some players become desensitized to their environment,[xii] increasingly spend more time gaming, and ultimately feel more connected to their virtual world than the real world around them. With new immersive technologies being introduced to younger and younger children every day, one can’t even imagine true cognitive and psychological impact over time.

Thus far, attempts to regulate and block violent video game content from minors have largely been unsuccessful. Since the 1972 release of the first popular video arcade game, Pong, parents have worried about the impact of video gaming on their children. Just like our kids, we have largely become desensitized to its impact. From 1976, when parents succeeded in getting the video game Death Race pulled from the shelf due to the little gravestone that appeared when a character was killed, to now, we’ve come a long way baby. Or have we?

In response to video game players committing violence, several lawsuits have been filed by private citizens and class actions claiming that video game manufacturers were negligent by selling violent content that is harmful to children. However, few have succeeded due to first amendment rights claims and insufficient evidence related to flawed research methodology or correlational rather than causal research. City ordinances attempting to limit violent gameplay by unaccompanied minors in public places have also largely failed. Law professors and psychologists continue to argue that the evidence is too flimsy to make solid claims that video games cause violence, particularly considering the fact that despite widespread gameplay, the rate of juvenile violent crime is at a thirty-year low.

A particularly impactful blow against state regulation was the United States Supreme Court ruling in Brown v. Entertainment Merchants Association (2011), which concluded by a seven to two opinion that the California law restricting the sale and distribution of violent video games to minors was unconstitutional. The ruling was based on first amendment rights, stating that “speech about violence is not obscene” and is “as much entitled to the protection of free speech as the best in literature.”

***

So, there you have it. Violent video games and entertainment are not turning us into gun-hungry zombies. Our avid gamers have friends, go to school, and love their families. We are not being infected en masse through our video consoles. But that doesn’t mean hours of violent play isn’t impacting us negatively, especially those vulnerable with growing brains or childhood trauma. Rather than arguing extreme positions and attacking issues of concern, let’s consider the idea that we can all do better. Four commonalities have been found among shooters; a history of childhood trauma, a situational crisis point, the study of previous shooters and searching for validation for their motives, and the means to carry out the hate crime.[xii] That leaves us with many potential entry points for intervention. Our first step is calm, generous, and intelligent dialogue. Let’s start acting like a community and make positive change. The finger-pointing is only a distraction.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[i]Huston, A., Donnerstein, E., Fairchild, H., Feshbach, N., Katz, P., Murray, J., Rubinstein, E., Wilcox, B. & Zuckerman, D. (1992). Big World, Small Screen: The Role of Television in American Society. Lincoln, NE: University of Nebraska Press.

[ii]National Institute of Mental Health – NIMH (1982). Television & Behavior: Ten Years of Scientific Progress & Implications for the Eighties, Vol. 1. Rockville, MD: U.S. Department of Health & Human Services.

[iii]Murray, J. P. (1973). Television & violence: Implications of the Surgeon General’s research program. American Psychologist, Vol. 28, pp. 472-478.

[iv]Krahe, B., Moller, I., Kirwil, L., Huesmann, L., Felber, J., & Berger, A. (2011). Desensitization to Media Violence: Links with Habitual Media Violence Exposure, Aggressive Cognitions, & Aggressive Behavior. Journal of Personality & Social Psychology, Vol. 100, No. 4.

[v]Taylor, J. (2012, December 4). How Technology is Changing the Way Children Think & Focus. Retrieved October 18, 2012, from http://wwpsychologytoday.com/glog/the-power-prime/201212/how-technology-is-changing-the-say-children-think-and-focus

[vi]Holfeld, B., Cicha, J. & Ferraro, F. (2014). “Executive Function & Action Gaming among College Students.” Current Psychology Curr Psychol34.2: 376-88. Web.

[vii]Brown, S., Liebermann, D., Gemeny, B., Fan, Y., Wilson, D., & Pasta, D. (2009). Educational video game for juvenile diabetes: Results of a controlled trial. Vol. 22 (Issue 1), p. 77-89. Doi:10.3109/14639239709089835

[viii]NPD Group (2011). Kids & gaming, 2011. Port Washington, NY: The NPD Group, Inc.

[ix]Ferguson, C. (2011). Video Games & Youth Violence: A Prospective Analysis in Adolescents. Journal of Youth & Adolescence, Vol. 40, No. 4.

[x]Anderson, C., Ihori, Nobuko, Bushman, B., Rothstein, H., Shibuya, A., Swing, E., Sakamoto, A., & Saleem, M. (2010). Violent Video Game Effects on Aggression, Empathy, & Prosocial Behavior in Eastern & Western Countries: A Meta-Analytic Review. Psychological Bulletin, Vo. 126, No. 2.

[xi]Norcia, M. (2014, June 1). The Impact of Video Games. Retrieved October 26, 2014, from http://www.pamf.org/parenting-teens/general/media-web/videogames.html

[xii]Weger, U., & Loughnan, S. (2014). Virtually numbed: Immersive video gaming alters real-life experience. Psychonomic Bulletin & Review, 21(2), 562-565. Doi:10.3758/s13423-013-0512-2

[xiii] https://www.latimes.com/opinion/story/2019-08-04/el-paso-dayton-gilroy-mass-shooters-data 

I Survived a Nightmare: A Story About Teen Bullying and Sexual Abuse

GetKidsInternetSafe offers online courses for parents to prevent digital injury and personal coaching with Dr. Bennett for families who want personalized intervention. However, sometimes parents don’t know what can happen as the result of screen use. Kaitlin is a beloved GKIS intern who boldly offered to share her personal trauma with cyberbullying. There’s so much for us to learn here! Here is Kaitlin’s story:

When I was little, I was bullied for countless things I couldn’t control – my clothes, body, skin tone. But, I never thought that I’d be bullied for my sexual trauma. Here’s my story with preteen and teenage bullying.

When I was in middle school, social media had just begun. It was 2008, and Myspace was the popular platform most teenagers used to connect with friends … and strangers. Myspace was an interactive microblog online platform that allowed you to design your own profile, choose your own music, and share with friends. Users posted bulletins to let everyone know if you were fighting with your mom or had a turkey sandwich for dinner; oversharing was common.

My parents were relatively strict, so Myspace was out of the question in middle school. But everyone was using it, so I snuck it. One day I had a notification from an older high school boy. This actually blew my 13-year-old mind. I couldn’t believe a cute, older boy would want to be myfriend. Flattered and confused, I accepted his request. I found out later in class that a bunch of my close friends had received the same friend requests.

We were preyed upon.

I didn’t know that though; I was thirteen-years-old! A couple of months passed and one of my friends was invited to a high school party by one of the older boys. We couldn’t believe it. There was one problem though, my strict parents. So I lied and said I was going to a friend’s sleepover.

Lying to my parents about my online account was definitely my first mistake. Lying about the sleepover was my second. When we got to the almost-all-guy party, we were clearly the youngest people invited. For whatever reason, that didn’t strike us as odd. I think it was our innocent minds and deep desire to be “cool” taking over. Alcohol was abundant, and we all got very drunk. One of the high school boys kept giving me alcohol and telling me that I was the prettiest girl he had ever seen. He said that I was “very mature” for my age, and that none of the high school girls were as “cool” as me. I don’t remember much, but what I do remember is hot pain. Being taken into a room and forced to do something I didn’t understand. I was raped that night. That was the night I lost everything.

Ultimately, he was charged and got five years of probation and community service. I got lifelong trauma that I can now finally talk about. My parents offered to send me to a private school, because I had just promoted from eighth grade and would be attending the high school that my abuser had just graduated from. I was too young to realize what I would soon face, and I relentlessly fought to stay with my friends. I didn’t want to be alone.

This is actually where my story begins, when I transitioned from an eighth-grader to a freshman in high school. While the trial was happening my story spread throughout town. Somehow the story got turned around with me being a “whore” who easily “put out.”

I was bullied relentlessly by seniors who were friends with my sexual abuser. Prank callers would tell me I was “fake” and messages on Myspace told me to kill myself, that if I had any “balls” I’d do what everyone was thinking and “end it all.”

After years of therapy, great college friends, and understanding boyfriends, I have been able to recover from this horrible trauma that occurred 10 years ago. Looking back, I really wish that I’d had a closer relationship with my parents. I never told them what was happening once I was enrolled in high school, because I was embarrassed and felt like they wouldn’t understand. I didn’t understand that something could have been done about the way I was being treated.

Age prey is common.

I had no idea how common age prey was until I scrolled through Twitter and saw many similar stories to mine. Younger women are preyed upon by older men, and they can be manipulated into believing that they are loved. Knowing who your children and teenagers are talking to online is extremely important for their safety.

Communication is key.

I was not a very expressive child. I intentionally pushed my parents out, and for that I suffered terribly. The most important message I can share from my story is that building your relationship with your children is IMPORTANT. Establishing trust and boundaries must start at an early age. Allowing your children to express themselves about what is happening at school without discouragement or punishment is mandatory in order to gain trust.

Ask questions and reassure them that you are there to help and listen. Consider establishing Dr. B’s #NoTechTuesdays, so your kids develop rich nonvirtual lives and don’t become too dependent on virtual communication.  And please, keep trying to maintain an active relationship even when talking gets difficult.

Along with asking about specific friends and activities, relationship-building questions include:

  • “How was your day at school?”
  • “Did anyone hurt your feelings?”
  • “Is there anything/anyone bothering you?”
  • “If anyone is being mean to you, you can always tell me.”
  • “Is anyone pressuring you?”

Teach your boys and girls that coercion is NOT consent.

Sexual coercion means using manipulation, pressure, alcohol, drugs, or force to have sex. It’s illegal. We’ve all heard that “no means no.” What if someone keeps pushing an intimate act and won’t give up? That is also a form of coercion. Not saying “no” is not consent. Consent is a sober and thought-out “yes” with the option to discontinue the activity at any time in the process. Educate your kids about the concept of coercion and consent. Basic sex education is not enough.

Thank you to CSUCI Intern, Kaitlin Hoover for contributing this article. Need some tips about how to offer sensible sexual education to your kids? CLICK HERE to check out our GKIS Sex Ed Series.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,
Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Photo Credits

Photo by @szolkinon Unsplash
Photo by @louiscesaron Unsplash