social media

Is Your Teen Best Buds with an Inmate?

December 5, 2023 by Samantha Sanchez

We believe we’re caught up with the dangers of internet usage and social media, but there’s a new shocking frenzy in town. Your child’s favorite TikTok users are writing to inmates, and your child may be considering it, too. We’re covering the start of the craze, the dangers of being a pen pal, and how to protect your child from these relationships. If protecting your child is one of your goals as a parent, take a look at our GKIS Social Media Readiness Course, a tool that helps you get your child “social” while avoiding digital injury.

The Beginning of the Inmate Pen-pal Craze

During the quarantine of 2020, TikTok users filmed their experience writing to inmates. These people used WriteAPrisoner, a website that lists inmate profiles that are seeking pen-pals. Users showed their friendships with inmates progressing from friends, best friends, and in most cases, romantic partners. TikTok users were intrigued by the idea, picked up their pen and papers, and started writing to inmates, too. Although the start of the craze was in 2020, teens everywhere are still writing.

TikTok user @jadalous2.0, aka Jade Chipps, has gained millions of views and over 300,000 followers from sharing her story. In some of her most popular videos, she shares that she used an inmate pen-pal website to write to potential suitors.[1] Jade shares that she started dating an inmate named Chris and married him after seven months of dating. Most of Jade’s comments come from young girls asking her advice on how to choose a good pen pal, what advice she has for those dating inmates, what site people should use to find their future partner and more.

Why is this so popular?

Our youth have proven their interest in true crime and the macabre over the past few years. We’ve seen a rise in the production of horror films, true crime documentaries, and even the romanticization of serial killers. We’re so much of a rise in interest that even teens on social media are creating fan accounts for their ‘favorite’ serial killers.

Serial killer films tend to remove the emotional aspect of the cases, such as grieving families, and focus on the quirks of the killer to pique interest. Therefore, we forget the gruesomeness and real-life impact these situations inflict on people, and we become desensitized to it. Once we’re desensitized, we see more intense thrills. Take a peek at our GKIS articles Does Social Media Promote Serial Killer Obsessions Through Murderer Fan Accounts? and Do Netflix Serial Killer Exposés Cause Kids to Romanticize Murderers? if you want to learn more about the shocking truth surrounding murderer glamorization. Writing to inmates is no exception to this normalization and we’re likely to see a bigger rise in these trends.

What is WriteAPrisoner?

WriteAPrisoner.com is a website that lists profiles for inmates who are seeking pen pals. Each profile displays an inmate’s name, gender, age, race, what crime they committed, and an ‘about me’ section where they can write whatever they want. Inmates’ addresses are also listed on the profile.

The website has filters that make it easy for users to narrow down a certain type of person they’re looking for. It also lets people see specific info like what inmates are low on mail, which have recently created a profile, and which inmates are on death row.

Dangers of Writing an Inmate

WriteAPrisoner’s main danger is no age verification for writing to someone on the site. Although WriteAPrisoner encourages only people over 18 to write, anyone can access an inmate’s address by setting up a free account.

Another dangerous aspect of WriteAPrisoner is regarding an inmate’s crime. WriteAPrisoner does not discriminate when it comes to inmate charges. So, inmates with any charges like murder, sexual assault, or domestic violence can all have profiles.

On a similar note, WriteAPrisoner requires inmates to list the crimes they committed. WriteAPrisoner verifies these crimes to make sure they are truly the ones committed by the inmate. However, an inmate’s profile can go live before WriteAPrisoner verifies their crime, so you may think you’re writing to a non-violent inmate when you really are.

Other risks that come along with writing to an inmate include being scammed. Many inmates on pen-pal websites claim to be seeking friendships, but really only want to correspond so they can ask for favors or money. Although not the case for all pen-pal friendships, relationships can turn hostile once an inmate figures out you won’t be supporting them financially.

A common misconception among those who write to inmates is that it’s safe because they’re locked away. However, we tend to forget that inmates have friends and family outside of prison. Although it might not be common, an inmate can use their external sources to harm you if your relationship with them goes sour.

Other risks you may face when writing to an inmate include:

Having your address exposed to other inmates
Having your personal letters and photos passed around
Engaging with a dangerous person
Being manipulated or scammed

How Can I Protect My Child from These Relationships?

GKIS does not recommend that your child write to an inmate. Although it may seem like a kind gesture, you face several risks when writing to one. Preventive practice is best, so we encourage you to engage in open conversation with your child about the content they’re viewing with our free GKIS Connected Family Agreement.

Website monitoring and filtering can play a big part in your child’s safety. If you’re not sure where to start, we recommend checking out our GKIS Screen Safety Essentials Course, a tool that grants you access to all of GKIS’ parenting courses. These courses help you teach your children to navigate the internet cautiously, instill digital resilience, and avoid digital injury. Get the ball rolling by sitting down with your child and asking what websites give them red flags and why.

Thanks to CSUCI intern Samantha Sanchez for researching inmate pen-pal sites and preparing this article.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Dr. Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.

Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty

GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] Love During Lockup

Photo Credits

Emiliano Bar via Unsplash (https://unsplash.com/photos/empty-prisoner-cell-OeAWU9VSHzo)

Eugene Chystiakov via Unsplash (https://unsplash.com/photos/person-writing-on-white-paper-wcMysLw5ROM)

Bernd Dittrich via Unsplash (https://unsplash.com/photos/text-DT71hAJoIJM)

Is Your Child Falling in Love with a Bot?

October 19, 2023 by Samantha Sanchez

Online entertainment is getting more and more advanced. We’ve come up with just about anything from video games to robots. But the one thing you may not yet know about is the fact that more kids are spending time with online robots instead of their human friends. In today’s GKIS article, we’re doing a deep dive into Character.AI, a popular website that lets subscribers virtually date a robot. We’ll go over how it’s being used, the dangers of it, and our thoughts on the site. Before letting your child use just any new and popular app, we recommend our Screen Safety Essentials Course for info on how to navigate the internet safely for the whole family.

Artificial Intelligence and Bots

Before we dive deep into the world of C.AI, we’ll want to go over some key terms.

Artificial Intelligence refers to the capability of computer systems or algorithms to imitate intelligent human behavior.[1]

A bot is a computer program or character (as in a game) designed to mimic the actions of a person.[2] A bot is a form of artificial intelligence.

NSFW refers to “not safe (or suitable) for work.” NSFW is used to warn someone that a website, image, message, etc., is not suitable for viewing at most places of employment.[3]

What is C.AI?

Character.AI is a website made by Noam Shazeer and Daniel De Freitas that allows users to chat with bots. The C.AI website launched in September 2022, and the app was released in May 2023. In its first week of being launched, the app got 1.7 million downloads. [4]

C.AI uses artificial intelligence to let you create characters and talk to them. You can create original characters, base yours off a character from a TV show or movie, or base your character off a real person.

C.AI became popular when teens started showing their conversations with the C.AI bots on TikTok. Many teens showed romantic and sensual conversations they had with their bots. Week after week, teens all over the world began to fall in love with their new artificial friends.

How Teens Are Using C.AI

Users create a free account, and then choose from a list of characters to talk to or make their own. Users can talk about whatever they want with the bot, and it will reply with human-like responses. Pre-made characters have their own set personality that users cannot change.

To make their own custom bot, users choose a name for their character and then upload an image to give the bot a ‘face.’ Users can talk with the bot about any topic. When the bot responds, users rate the bot’s responses with 1-5 stars. After some time, the bot will use the user’s ratings to figure out what personality they want it to have.

Users can make their bots private only for them or public for anyone to use. However, all chats between a person and a bot are private.

The Dangerous Side of C.AI

Using these bots may seem like a fun idea for kids, but there are a lot of risks that come with them.

Data Storage

A major risk is that C.AI stores the information and texts you share with the character bots.

C.AI claims that no real person reads this information. However, this is still dangerous for privacy reasons. If the website or app were hacked, hackers can do whatever they want with users’ information. This puts all users at major risk when using the site.

No Age Verification and Exposing Minors to NSFW Content

C.AI encourages its users to be 13 years old or older, but there is no age verification within the site or app.[5] This means users can lie about their age to use C.AI.

C.AI claims to not allow sexual conversation between users and bots, but users can bypass this. Users can misspell certain words or add extra spaces to words to bypass the NSFW filter. The bot knows what word you’re trying to say, so it will reply with NSFW responses. Users can have detailed sexual conversations with the bots. The dangerous part of this is that many of C.AI’s users are minors.

Effects on Children’s Relationships

Users can speak romantically with the bots, and the bots will respond with romantic messages. The more kids use these bots, the higher chance they have of becoming dependent on them. Children’s brains are impressionable, and they absorb information quickly. Some kids may prefer to engage in these fake relationships instead of relationships with real people.

Using these bots could also create social anxiety. Users know what to expect when talking with a bot since the bot’s personality is pre-set. However, real people in the outside world are unpredictable. The uncertainty of real conversations could make users shy, anxious, and avoidant, especially if they replace real-life challenging practices with safe and easy online practices.

Other risks include:

Disappointment in real-life relationships with others
Depression
Isolation
Loss of social skills

GKIS Thoughts On C.AI

GKIS rates C.AI as a red-light website. This means it is not recommended for children under the age of 18 to use. We came to this conclusion because it lacks age verification and exposes minors to NSFW content. However, it could be slightly safer if parents monitor their children’s interactions with the bots. If you’re worried about what other dangerous sites your child may be visiting, consider checking out our article on red-light websites.

GKIS encourages parents to talk to their children about what topics are safe to discuss if they use C.AI. Before making a decision to use the site, we recommend checking out the GKIS Social Media Readiness Training course. It helps teens and tweens learn the red flags of social media and teaches them valuable psychological wellness skills.

Thanks to CSUCI intern Samantha Sanchez for researching Character.AI and preparing this article.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Dr. Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] Artificial Intelligence – Merriam Webster

[2] Bot – Merriam Webster

[3] NSFW – Merriam-Webster

[4] Character.AI

[5] C.AI Age Requirement

Photo Credits

Pete Linforth via Pixabay https://pixabay.com/illustrations/connection-love-modern-kiss-human-4848255/

Samantha Sanchez (Image #2)

Adrian Swancar via Unsplash https://unsplash.com/photos/JXXdS4gbCTI

The GKIS Sensible Parent’s Guide to BeReal

October 11, 2023 by Samantha Sanchez

If you’re a parent, you know how much kids use social media. Apps are everywhere, and they’re becoming more popular. BeReal is a social media app that aims to “spotlight someone who’s living in the moment, going for it, celebrating life and all its weird/wonderful chaotic energy.”[1] Teens and tweens are falling in love with BeReal and its positive message. In this article, we’re covering what you need to know about BeReal. Does it allow harmful content? Are we ready to handle the risks that may come with it? Learning about social media can be tricky, but the GKIS Social Media Readiness Course helps teens and tweens learn the risks of social media and practice good psychological wellness. Read on for more info on this new popular app.

What is BeReal?

BeReal is a French social media app released in 2020 by Alexis Barreyat and Kevin Perreau that allows users to post real-time photos taken from the front and back phone cameras at the same time.[2]

BeReal’s mission is to “create an authentic world that keeps you connected with the people you really care about.”[3] It encourages users to live in the moment and stay away from harmful filters and trends. BeReal currently has over 6 million users a day.[4] It became popular in 2020 when teens on TikTok started posting their BeReals with celebrities and influencers.

How to Use BeReal

BeReal is easy to use. Users receive alerts at random times during the day to take a photo of what they’re doing.

Once alerted, users have two minutes to take their photo and post it. If they post on time, they can take two more BeReals that day. If they post late, they only get one photo op that day.

Although BeReal users can’t upload images from their photo albums, they can react and comment on friends’ photos or save their reaction photos to be re-used on their friends’ future BeReals.

Benefits of Using BeReal

No Filters

BeReal’s main benefit is that its layout forces users to post with no slimming, skin-lightening, or makeup filters. Social media filters have been found to lead to insecurity, depression, and more harmful effects. Check out our GKIS articles “Influencers Hurt Child Self-Esteem by Overusing Filters” and “Beauty Filters Don’t Embrace Brown Beauty: The Rise of Colorism” to learn more about the dangers of filters.

No Likes

On BeReal, there is no “Like” button. Other apps like Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok show the amount of likes someone gets on their post. It’s no secret that most children think how many likes they get contributes to how cool they are. BeReal takes away this feature, making it less of a popularity contest.

Private Accounts

When you make your BeReal account, it automatically makes your profile private. Users must approve friend requests for you to see their posts.

Risks of Using BeReal

Location and Time Sharing

Like any app, there are some risks to using BeReal. BeReal posts include the city in which the user took the photo. It also includes a timestamp of when they took the photo.

Public Photos

Another risk is that you have the option to make your individual BeReals public for friends of friends to see. Friends of friends will not see your account, but an individual BeReal you posted may show up on their feed.

Other Risks

Other risks to using BeReal include:

Being or feeling pressured to share
Viewing inappropriate content
Experiencing unwanted contact
Oversharing

Privacy and Safety Options

Account Privacy

BeReal automatically makes your profile private when you sign up. Friendships must be approved by each user, so users can deny anyone access to their profile.

Photo Sharing

You can make an individual BeReal post public or private. To make it private, take a photo and click “My friends only” before posting.

To make it public, take a photo and click “My friends + their friends.” This allows friends of your friends to see your BeReals.

Location Privacy

BeReal shares the location of each photo when posted, but we can fix that. Users can turn off the location feature by taking a photo, clicking on “location,” and then selecting “location off” before posting.

Report and Block Inappropriate Users and Posts

If you see a post you don’t like, click on the three dots in the corner of the photo and click “Report this BeReal.” This means BeReal will no longer show you that post or any other posts from that person.

If you see a lot of inappropriate posts from a user, you can remove them as a friend or block their account. This stops you from seeing their posts and stops them from seeing yours.

GKIS Safety Ideas

BeReal’s features don’t make it the healthiest app for screen time, but it’s a step above other apps. Check out Dr. Bennett’s book, GKIS Screen Time in the Mean Time: A Parenting Guide to Getting Kids and Teens Internet Safe to learn what you need to know before your kids use social media.
Our GKIS Screen Safety Toolkit is also a great resource guide to help parents best manage their kids’ screen device use.

Thanks to CSUCI intern Samantha Sanchez for researching BeReal and preparing this article.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph. D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] BeReal Realest Person Announcement

[2] BeReal

[3] BeReal – Our Mission and Values

[4] BeReal Revenue and Usage Statistics (2023)

Photo Credits

Photo by Ottr Dan (https://unsplash.com/photos/0EFrV9Pgvb8)

Photo by Nathan Dumlao (https://unsplash.com/photos/ItsW7gT8iR0)

Photo by Bruno Gomiero (https://unsplash.com/photos/jp7J14W9sSg)

Parents of Student Athletes Struggle to Cope with Critical Tweets

May 16, 2023 by Keith Ferries

If you are a parent reading this, you understand how much we care about our children. Thirty-seven percent of kids have been a victim of cyberbullying, and 30% have reported cyberbullying to be an ongoing situation.[1] When we think of cyberbullying, we think of one teenager making online comments about another teen. But imagine a situation where your young adult child is repeatedly having to endure nasty remarks from other adults like it is in the case of college athletes. Some argue that is part of the fame. But is it also part of childhood? We don’t think so at GKIS. For that reason, we created our Social Media Readiness Course for tweens and teens to help your kids recognize the signs of online abuse and how to avoid it. Today’s GKIS article covers what parents of college athletes may encounter on Twitter as well as how to counterbalance the negativity.

Social Media in the Lives of College Athletes

In our GKIS article “When Young Athletes Look to Twitter to Showcase Talent and Track Sports News: An Inside Look,” we discussed the role social media plays in a young athlete’s life and how they learn to cope with it.
Our interviewee John said he learned how to detox from social media on occasion and also how to use cyberbullying as motivation. But when you’re a parent and hear something being said negatively toward your child, even if your child is an adult, it’s hard not to take that personally. There’s no protection from it, and if you jump to their aid online, it might ultimately harm them. College and professional teams don’t want to deal with online drama coming from parents. But sometimes, enough is enough…or is it?

When Parents Can’t Take the Online Attacks Anymore

Randi Mahomes, the mother of Super Bowl champion Patrick Mahomes, took to Twitter in 2021 to express her displeasure at a hit her son took from an opposing player. Arguably, she is in a reasonable position to speak her mind whether we agree with it or not because her son is already playing at the highest level.

But our division one college football player John’s parents weren’t so lucky. If someone was displeased with how John played a game and tweeted, “I hope your dog eats chocolate and gets really sick and throws up on your socks.”[2] (a tweet 7-time Superbowl champion Tom Brady once got), John’s parents must idly stand by and watch people sling mud at their child.

John’s mother Mary recalls, “The hardest one was seeing a tweet saying John was a ‘piece of shit’ after he had a bad game. Most of the time, I would listen to John and let it be, but I couldn’t with that comment. I had to speak my mind and tweet back.” She elaborated, “A few Twitter exchanges went back and forth, and then I let it go after speaking my mind.”

Mary said that some situations were more complicated than others, and she recalls many days being in tears over Twitter comments. She said a particularly hard day was when they read on Twitter that the college John had decided to go with unexpectedly selected a different quarterback. The tweet went out before John ever got a personal call saying the spot that he was offered was no longer available. It was heartbreaking, considering that he had turned down other offers in favor of this one, some of those offers were no longer available. After many conversations with the college scout prior to the tweet that seemed like a guarantee is followed with silence, it was hurtful.

Mary said, “About 80% of the time, the tweets were very positive. John had a good record, so it was more good than bad.” She said she still uses Twitter because she has other interests in the app, not just sports. Her husband, however, has since deleted the app now that their son is done with his athletic college career.

Parents are proud of their children and love to hear positive things. They don’t want to read tweets from strangers saying how their child isn’t trying hard enough or how they lost the big game for the team. Parents see firsthand how much their child loves the game, how hard they work, and how much sacrifice they give up competing at a top level. Because online education starts with parents, we created our Screen Safety Essentials Course for parents and families. Knowing what troubles lurk online will help parents teach their kids what they need to know to avoid digital injury and problem-solve through difficult online situations.

Other Ideas for How to Work Around Unwanted Negativity

Take regular breaks from social media. Our GKIS article, Start Fall Fresh With a Cleansing Digital Detox is a great article to help you take that first step.
Keep a positive dialogue going with your child about the pressures that arise from being an athlete with anonymous fans.
Adopt our free Connected Family Agreement, a simple tool that sets reasonable online limits and feeds a cooperative family alliance when it comes to online decisions.
Filter and manage online content with our Screen Safety Toolkit. This resource guide helps you build a customized set of parental controls for filtering and monitoring online content.
Set designated times throughout the week when everyone spends time together without their devices. Share about your offline and online lives to stay connected.

Thanks to C SUCI intern Keith Ferries for doing the research and writing this article.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

*Mary is a fictional name to maintain anonymity.

Works Cited

[1] Patchin, J. W., Ph.D. (2019, July 9). 2019 Cyberbullying Data. https://cyberbullying.org/2019-cyberbullying-data

[2] Kimble, L. (2021, February 5). Tom Brady Reads Mean Tweets About Himself Ahead of Super Bowl 2021. People.com. https://people.com/sports/super-bowl-2021-tom-brady-reads-mean-tweets/

Photo Credits

[1] Photographer Unknown https://www.pexels.com/photo/white-ceramic-teacup-beside-black-iphone-5-on-brown-wooden-table-58639/

[2] Karolina Grabowska
https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-woman-with-a-coffee-cup-in-front-of-a-laptop-7320744/

[3] Nicola Barts
https://www.pexels.com/photo/stressed-beard-black-man-working-on-laptop-7925881/

What “Going Viral” Does to Your Brain and Self-Esteem

May 11, 2023 by katherinecarroll

Before the internet, “going viral” was not something positive much less something people actively sought out. “Going viral” has become a new age epidemic, with people doing whatever they can for their 60 seconds of fame. But what does “going viral” actually mean, and how does it affect our brains and our self-esteem? Today’s GKIS article will break down “going viral” and its effects. For help raising your child to be digitally smart, check out our GKIS Screen Safety Essentials Course. This course includes all GKIS parenting courses, agreements, and supplements, ensuring you are well-equipped to fight off digital injury and keep your child safe from harm.

What does it mean to “go viral”?

Going viral means sharing something via social media that spreads quickly to thousands, even millions of people. The term viral video was first used in 2009 to describe the video “David After Dentist.”[1]

One viral video or post can turn people into internet celebrities overnight and garner thousands of followers, resulting in brand deals and monetized content. Once a video goes viral, there is no limit to the number of people it will reach or even what platform they will see the video on. It is very common to see posts shared from one platform to the next, whether it be a TikTok on Twitter or a Tweet going viral on Instagram.

The number of views to be considered going viral also varies from platform to platform. One hundred thousand views on TikTok is pretty successful, whereas even a couple hundred thousand views on YouTube is a relatively low number.[2]

The number of likes is also an important factor. Many videos have a high number of views but a relatively low number of likes. These videos are not considered to be going viral because they are not well-received by the general public.[2] Engagement drives up the virality of the content through shares and comments that stimulate the algorithm to continue placing that content on people’s feeds.[2] Another important factor in going viral is the immediacy of response, meaning that the views, likes, and comments must be received within a few hours to days rather than over several months or years.[2]

How does “going viral” affect our brains?

When your video, post, or other content “goes viral,” you receive likes, comments, reposts, shares, and bookmarks. These response notifications prompt the reward systems in our brains.[3] Many fast notifications results in dopamine release. To keep that feel-good feeling going, we keep checking, acting in a way similar to gambling addictions.[3]

Algorithms also take advantage of a variable-reward system because they are programmed to recognize when to take advantage of our reward system and desire for dopamine.[3] This often results in a stockpile of notifications that get delayed until a good amount of time since the last check has passed or a large amount of engagement has accumulated.

For a personal insight into going viral, I interviewed a college student who had recently experienced the sensation of going viral. They said, “I recently had a video go viral on TikTok. It was a video of the Indie-Rock band Boygenius and one of their members, singer Phoebe Bridgers, singing a verse from their song ‘Cool About It.’ I had taken the video at a concert I had recently attended and decided to post it on TikTok since I was lucky enough to be pretty close to the stage. Over the next few days after I posted it, it got 118k views, 32k likes, and 500 comments, and was saved by more than 4000 people. Once it started picking up traction, I became obsessed with checking my notifications and seeing all the new comments. I would constantly look to see how many views I was at each hour. I even got a like from a TikTok creator who I really enjoy so that was very exciting for me.”

Although going viral is thrilling, notifications can be harmful when they are overly distracting.[4] To compensate for smartphone interruptions, studies have shown that people often work faster, resulting in more stress, frustration, time pressure, and effort.[4] Research has linked daily notifications and their interruptions to depression, anxiety, and even symptoms associated with ADHD.[5]

Our interview also revealed that the euphoria of going viral is short-lived and needs constant “re-upping.” Our subject elaborated, “Once the video started to die down though, I got annoyed by the notifications. They were distracting because they were so far and few in-between and nothing quite as exciting as the start. I got kinda sad that my viral moment was dying down. It made me want to post another video to see if it would get the same kind of attention.”

What does “going viral” do to our self-esteem?

Studies have shown that social media can be both detrimental to our self-esteem and boost it at the same time, but how does going viral change that?

Social media usage can add stress to daily life and encourage people to constantly evaluate and compare themselves to others.[6] When someone goes viral, they open themselves up to being judged by thousands of people, some of whom can be cruel, feeling emboldened by the veil of anonymity. While many would agree that the likes and views one receives on a viral post boosts their self-esteem and makes one feel good about themselves, it also allows for internet trolls to make their way into the comment section to bait others into an argument or provoke an emotional reaction.[7]

One-in-five internet users that have been victims of harassment online reported that it happened in the comment section of a website.[8] Reading negative comments can lessen confidence, reduce self-esteem, and depending on the severity, can even provoke suicidal thoughts.[9]

Our GKIS interviewee unfortunately also had experience with the negative side of going viral. They reported, “Before my video went super viral, I had posted another video that didn’t get as many views but still got a couple thousand views, a few hundred likes, and a good amount of comments. The video was clips of my girlfriend and me in celebration of our second anniversary. For the most part, the comments were really nice, with people calling us cute and being supportive. But after a little while of it being up, it got to the wrong side of TikTok. As a queer couple, we’re used to people being rude or staring at us, but to get negative comments just hurt more for some reason. This was a few months ago, but I still think about the comments from time to time. It honestly made me want to delete the whole video even though it was just a few comments out of a bunch of nice ones.”

How Parents Can Help

Understand that what you and your child post has the potential to go viral, even if you don’t want it to.
Set the privacy settings on posts to control who gets to see the content you share.
Prevent a digital injury to your child’s self-esteem before it occurs with our GKIS Screen Safety Toolkit for parents of kids of all ages.
To help facilitate difficult conversations about online content and who should see it, try out our free GKIS Connected Family Screen Agreement.

Like what you read? Check out our GKIS articles “Showcasing Child Talent Online Leads to Exploitation and Scams” and “Influencers Hurt Child Self Esteem by Overusing Filters”.

Thanks to CSUCI intern, Katherine Carroll for researching “going viral” and its effect on the brain and self-esteem.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] Wonderopolis. (2022). What Does It Mean To Go Viral? Wonderopolis. https://www.wonderopolis.org/wonder/what-does-it-mean-to-go-viral

[2] Pigeon Studio. (2022). How many views is viral? What makes a video viral? Pigeon Studio. https://studiopigeon.com/blog/how-many-views-is-viral-what-makes-a-video-viral/

[3] Haynes, T. (2018). Dopamine, Smartphones & You: A battle for your time. Science in the News. https://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2018/dopamine-smartphones-battle-time/

[4] Pandey, N (2022). Constant Distraction And Stress, App Notifications Affect Minds Negatively: Study. NDTV. https://www.ndtv.com/world-news/constant-distraction-and-stress-app-notifications-affect-minds-negatively-study-3595177#:~:text=According%20to%20a%20study%2C%20these,shown%20to%20damage%20task%20performance.

[5] Glick, M. (2022). Phone Notifications Are Messing With Your Brain. Discover. https://www.discovermagazine.com/technology/phone-notifications-are-messing-with-your-brain

[6] Bergman, M. (2023). Social Media’s Effects on Self-Esteem. Social Media Victims Law Center. https://socialmediavictims.org/mental-health/self-esteem/

[7] Australian Government. (2022). Trolling. eSafety Commissioner. https://www.esafety.gov.au/young-people/trolling#:~:text=Something%20has%20happened-,What%20is%20trolling%3F,believe%2C%20just%20to%20cause%20drama.

[8] Aleksandra. (2016). How reading online comments affects us. Social Media Psychology. https://socialmediapsychology.eu/2016/10/05/onlineandsocialmediacomments/

[9] Cuncic, A. (2022). Mental Health Effects of Reading Negative Comments Online. VeryWellMind. https://www.verywellmind.com/mental-health-effects-of-reading-negative-comments-online-5090287#:~:text=If%20you%20end%20up%20reading,and%20after%20reading%20comments%20online

Photo Credits

Photo by Good Faces (https://unsplash.com/photos/Lv2lW5ImegQ)

Photo by Christian Wiediger (https://unsplash.com/photos/NmGzVG5Wsg8)

Photo by Robina Weermeijer (https://unsplash.com/photos/3KGF9R_0oHs)

Photo by Cristina Zaragoza (https://unsplash.com/photos/cMVRsfY8R3Q)

Photo by Levi Perchik (https://unsplash.com/photos/5gHdYqpALTY)

Trauma Dumping 101: Is the Internet Gen-Z’s Alternative to Therapy?

May 11, 2023 by katherinecarroll

For Xgens and millennials, the internet has been a place for people to overshare through Facebook location “check-ins” and Instagram posts chronicling every detail of their latest vacations. Some Gen Z’s, in contrast, have turned casual oversharing into something much darker – publicly sharing stories of trauma for internet clout. To monitor and ensure your child is not sharing their deepest, darkest secrets on TikTok, check out our GKIS Screen Safety Essentials Course. This course provides you access to all GKIS parenting courses, agreements, and supplements to teach your kids independent resilience and good coping skills, all of which work to build a positive parent-child partnership and avoid a digital injury.

What is “trauma dumping”?

Trauma dumping is when a person overshares difficult information with another person without their consent.[1] Trauma dumping for content is done when a person constantly talks about a traumatic experience, even sometimes going so far as to recreate or reenact the traumatic incident online.[2]

Tramadumpers typically do not consider their impact on viewers and are not seeking advice.[1] The sharing often occurs in inappropriate places and times to someone who cannot understand and process someone else’s trauma.[3]

How does trauma dumping differ from venting?

Trauma dumping differs from venting because venting is the release of pent-up emotions rather than details of traumatic experiences.[2] When venting, a person is more mindful of the other person’s boundaries and how much they should share. Venting is an ordinary action people take to blow off steam, while trauma dumping is a potentially harmful action.

Why is sharing trauma for views and likes problematic?

Sharing or posting about a personal experience is not inherently wrong. But when you are sharing about it on social media often, it can become a maladaptive coping mechanism, meaning that instead of reducing the effect of a traumatic event on one’s mental health, you instead cause more harm and increase long-term stress.[4]

How Viewing Trauma Dumping Affects Viewers

The TikTok hashtags #trauma and #traumatok have a combined total of more than 22.5 billion views. As of 2023, Tiktok has 1.53 billion users, meaning that videos with the aforementioned hashtags have been viewed more times than there are users on the app.[5]

I asked a frequent TikTok user to recount her experience viewing a #traumatok video. She shared, “I was scrolling through my TikTok For You Page and saw a video a girl shared of her last conversation with her mother before her mother passed away from Covid-19. It made me feel sad, and I thought about it pretty often throughout the day. I told my friend about it later, and she said she had seen it too and it made her cry. Her dad passed away from Covid-19, and it hit home for her and reminded her of her dad’s passing. I can’t imagine seeing that kind of content as an 11-year-old or something.”

Constantly consuming distressing online content and news is called doom-scrolling. This phenomenon causes despair in the viewer and can lead to feelings of stress and anxiety. Some studies have found that watching trauma content on social media (especially violent content) can cause viewers to experience post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms.[6] If your child may have consumed violent content on social media and is struggling to cope, please check our GKIS article, “Helping Your Children Cope with Stress and Tragedy” for help.

Viewers of trauma content can also inadvertently desensitize themselves. By viewing a trauma dump video and then scrolling to a happy or neutral video, they can prevent themselves from feeling the full impact of the content and thus are conditioning themselves to not adequately process traumatic content.[6] Through viewing traumatic content, viewers may inadvertently open themselves up to their own traumas. To learn more about doom-scrolling, see our GKIS article, “Doom-Scrolling: How Much Bad News Can We Take?”

What Parents Can Do

Preventing children from viewing #traumatok content is critical to ensure your child does not suffer from a digital injury.

Keep your child safe by:

Limiting and monitoring your child’s only content using our GKIS Screen Safety Toolkit. This resource helps you set parental controls and smart tools created to filter content and manage online behavior.
Keep the conversation going using our free GKIS Connected Family Agreement. By having regular discussions and co-viewing your child’s content, the learning continues both ways.
Preparing your children for social media usage through our GKIS Social Media Readiness Course. This course will help your child stay safe from digital injury and prepare them to “get social.”

Like what you read? Check out our GKIS articles “Our Youth Mental Health Emergency” and “Millennials, Gen Z, and the Internet: Generational Divides”.

Thanks to CSUCI intern, Katherine Carroll for Trauma Dumping and its harmful effects.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] Thurrott, S. You Think You’re Venting, but You Might Be Trauma Dumping. (2022). Banner Health. https://www.bannerhealth.com/healthcareblog/teach-me/venting-or-trauma-dumping

[2] Molina, O. Trauma Dumping: The Signs & Effects of Oversharing Trauma. (2023). Talk Space. https://www.talkspace.com/blog/trauma-dumping/

[3] Trauma Dumping 101: What It Is, and Why It Hurts. (2023). Family Zone. https://www.familyzone.com/anz/families/blog/trauma-dumping-and-why-it-hurts

[4] DeWitt, H. What are unhealthy coping mechanisms, and how do they affect me? (2022). ThriveWorks. https://thriveworks.com/help-with/coping-skills/unhealthy-coping-mechanisms/#:~:text=Maladaptive%2C%20or%20unhealthy%2C%20coping%20mechanisms,stress%20in%20the%20long%20term.

[5] Ruby, D. TikTok Statistics 2023 — (Users, Revenue and Trends). (2023). Demand Sage. https://www.demandsage.com/tiktok-user-statistics/#:~:text=TikTok%20Statistics%202023%20

[6] Revell, J. How Seeing War and Disaster Unfold in Real-Time Across Social Media Impacts Our Mental Health. (2022). The Latch.
https://thelatch.com.au/watching-violent-content-online-social-media/#:~:text=One%202015%20study%20found%20that,who%20are%20exposed%20to%20it