We were hunters and gatherers for 90% of human existence. That means our brains are still wired to prioritize the things that kept us alive when we were living on the land, before the domestication of animals and the construction of cities. One thing that kept us alive was living in a tribe and cooperating. Attracting a tribe and fitting in was a requirement of life. That is why kids and teens are hyper-focused on doing what their friends do and working to be cool and accepted. Online influencers count on this drive to maintain their income streams. One way to attract kids online is to be a kid doing what kids love to do, playing with toys and video games, opening new packages, and hanging out with friends acting goofy. Netflix’s Bad Influencer offers a glimpse of the kid influencer “scene,” and the lengths that some parents will go to attract and keep a following.
What is Bad Influence about?
The limited documentary series has gone viral for good reason. It’s definitely entertaining, but also deeply unsettling. It is a perfect way to raise awareness about how scary a life all about social media can be. Bad Influencer is a documentary that focuses on a tween who becomes an overnight social media star and brings her friends to stardom with her. What started out as a fun hobby quickly turned into a living nightmare. It may seem glamorous to be famous online, until you learn that the child influencers spent the majority of their childhoods working long hours acting out video ideas, risky stunts, and performing pranks that sometimes went too far—all under the pressure of adult producers/parents hungry for views. Check out Intimacy With Minors Encouraged at the Hype House for a similar story of underage exploitation.
SPOILER ALERT: The show takes a chilling turn when the mother of the main character is accused of, and videotaped, sexually exploiting these kids on set by positioning herself as one of the only adults supervising them to control them. Some survived the battle with only a few scars, while the main character is stuck living this nightmare over and over again. It may be funny, exaggerated, and attention-grabbing, but it also paints a dark picture of a digital world where clout matters more than character and children are left to pay the price.
Psychology Behind the Fame Obsession
From a psychological point of view, being an influencer is cool to children because they have a natural need for validation, attention, and social connection.[1] Although the minimum age on most social media platforms is 13, it is reported that children ranging from 8-17 are found scrolling through online platforms soaking up content too mature for their ages.[2] Sadly, unlike real-world relationships, social media platforms offer fast, unfiltered dopamine hits through likes, shares, and views. Without proper guidance, this can make kids tie their self-worth to online numbers, which can result in low self-esteem, fear of missing out (FOMO), performance anxiety, and digital addiction.[3] As a result of social unlimited social media usage, kids can also experience anxiety, depression, and even poor quality of sleep.[4] Counteract this monster and help your child build emotional resilience, red flag awareness, and digital literacy by taking our GKIS Social Media Readiness Training Course. Geared for teens or tweens, it’s the perfect giftbefore that new device or video game.
What You Can Do to Help
Bad Influencer is not just a show; it’s a cautionary tale that shares the pressures kids face online every day. It is easy to get off topic and want to pull the plug on all electronics just to protect your child from their dangers, but that is not always possible. Technology and online platforms are all around us, and it is better to set your child up for success than to try to keep them out of the loop. Connecting with your child over what they find interesting can help create a trusting relationship where you can notice if things start to become a little off. Our free Connected Family Screen Agreement can help you and your child co-create rules around how to safely navigate online platforms. This way your child can thrive in the digital age without losing themselves in it.
Thanks to CSUCI intern, Elaha Qudratulla for researching and co-writing this article.
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe. Onward to More Awesome Parenting,
Before the internet, “going viral” was not something positive much less something people actively sought out. “Going viral” has become a new age epidemic, with people doing whatever they can for their 60 seconds of fame. But what does “going viral” actually mean, and how does it affect our brains and our self-esteem? Today’s GKIS article will break down “going viral” and its effects. For help raising your child to be digitally smart, check out our GKIS Screen Safety Essentials Course. This course includes all GKIS parenting courses, agreements, and supplements, ensuring you are well-equipped to fight off digital injury and keep your child safe from harm.
What does it mean to “go viral”?
Going viral means sharing something via social media that spreads quickly to thousands, even millions of people. The term viral video was first used in 2009 to describe the video “David After Dentist.”[1]
One viral video or post can turn people into internet celebrities overnight and garner thousands of followers, resulting in brand deals and monetized content. Once a video goes viral, there is no limit to the number of people it will reach or even what platform they will see the video on. It is very common to see posts shared from one platform to the next, whether it be a TikTok on Twitter or a Tweet going viral on Instagram.
The number of views to be considered going viral also varies from platform to platform. One hundred thousand views on TikTok is pretty successful, whereas even a couple hundred thousand views on YouTube is a relatively low number.[2]
The number of likes is also an important factor. Many videos have a high number of views but a relatively low number of likes. These videos are not considered to be going viral because they are not well-received by the general public.[2] Engagement drives up the virality of the content through shares and comments that stimulate the algorithm to continue placing that content on people’s feeds.[2] Another important factor in going viral is the immediacy of response, meaning that the views, likes, and comments must be received within a few hours to days rather than over several months or years.[2]
How does “going viral” affect our brains?
When your video, post, or other content “goes viral,” you receive likes, comments, reposts, shares, and bookmarks. These response notifications prompt the reward systems in our brains.[3] Many fast notifications results in dopamine release. To keep that feel-good feeling going, we keep checking, acting in a way similar to gambling addictions.[3]
Algorithms also take advantage of a variable-reward system because they are programmed to recognize when to take advantage of our reward system and desire for dopamine.[3] This often results in a stockpile of notifications that get delayed until a good amount of time since the last check has passed or a large amount of engagement has accumulated.
For a personal insight into going viral, I interviewed a college student who had recently experienced the sensation of going viral. They said, “I recently had a video go viral on TikTok. It was a video of the Indie-Rock band Boygenius and one of their members, singer Phoebe Bridgers, singing a verse from their song ‘Cool About It.’ I had taken the video at a concert I had recently attended and decided to post it on TikTok since I was lucky enough to be pretty close to the stage. Over the next few days after I posted it, it got 118k views, 32k likes, and 500 comments, and was saved by more than 4000 people. Once it started picking up traction, I became obsessed with checking my notifications and seeing all the new comments. I would constantly look to see how many views I was at each hour. I even got a like from a TikTok creator who I really enjoy so that was very exciting for me.”
Although going viral is thrilling, notifications can be harmful when they are overly distracting.[4] To compensate for smartphone interruptions, studies have shown that people often work faster, resulting in more stress, frustration, time pressure, and effort.[4] Research has linked daily notifications and their interruptions to depression, anxiety, and even symptoms associated with ADHD.[5]
Our interview also revealed that the euphoria of going viral is short-lived and needs constant “re-upping.” Our subject elaborated, “Once the video started to die down though, I got annoyed by the notifications. They were distracting because they were so far and few in-between and nothing quite as exciting as the start. I got kinda sad that my viral moment was dying down. It made me want to post another video to see if it would get the same kind of attention.”
What does “going viral” do to our self-esteem?
Studies have shown that social media can be both detrimental to our self-esteem and boost it at the same time, but how does going viral change that?
Social media usage can add stress to daily life and encourage people to constantly evaluate and compare themselves to others.[6] When someone goes viral, they open themselves up to being judged by thousands of people, some of whom can be cruel, feeling emboldened by the veil of anonymity. While many would agree that the likes and views one receives on a viral post boosts their self-esteem and makes one feel good about themselves, it also allows for internet trolls to make their way into the comment section to bait others into an argument or provoke an emotional reaction.[7]
One-in-five internet users that have been victims of harassment online reported that it happened in the comment section of a website.[8] Reading negative comments can lessen confidence, reduce self-esteem, and depending on the severity, can even provoke suicidal thoughts.[9]
Our GKIS interviewee unfortunately also had experience with the negative side of going viral. They reported, “Before my video went super viral, I had posted another video that didn’t get as many views but still got a couple thousand views, a few hundred likes, and a good amount of comments. The video was clips of my girlfriend and me in celebration of our second anniversary. For the most part, the comments were really nice, with people calling us cute and being supportive. But after a little while of it being up, it got to the wrong side of TikTok. As a queer couple, we’re used to people being rude or staring at us, but to get negative comments just hurt more for some reason. This was a few months ago, but I still think about the comments from time to time. It honestly made me want to delete the whole video even though it was just a few comments out of a bunch of nice ones.”
How Parents Can Help
Understand that what you and your child post has the potential to go viral, even if you don’t want it to.
Set the privacy settings on posts to control who gets to see the content you share.
Prevent a digital injury to your child’s self-esteem before it occurs with our GKIS Screen Safety Toolkit for parents of kids of all ages.
To help facilitate difficult conversations about online content and who should see it, try out our free GKIS Connected Family Screen Agreement.
Drug addiction is on the rise with many drug dealers finding teen customers on social media.[1] Once engaged with the dealer, teens are vulnerable to drug use, solicitation for nude photos and videos, coercion, extortion, and even violence. Once hooked, dealers may also use their victims to recruit other teens. Improving their methods one teen at a time, dealers become experts at persuading kids to try that first pill, often lying about what it is and how it may affect them. Most parents would deny that their kids are at risk, insisting that they’ve spoken to them and know their kids would never be so foolish. But if you’re not tracking content on your kids’ devices because you believe they deserve digital privacy, can you be so sure? To help close risk gaps and set appropriate expectations, check out our Screen Safety Essentials Course. With weekly family and parenting videos, you can be confident that you are doing all you can to protect your kids from risks like these. Today’s GKIS article shares a true story about a 16-year-old girl who got caught up in this shocking series of tragic events driven by social media use. Learn about how she got started, the workarounds she used, and what her parents would recommend to help keep your teens safe.
Morgan’s Story
Tom recently shared a tragic story with us about his 16-year-old stepdaughter, Morgan. Morgan is like any high school sophomore. She loves fashion, her friends, and her 17-year-old boyfriend, Parker. She earns straight As and loves to ride horses. Tom and his wife Julie frequently have Morgan’s friends and boyfriend over to the house to hang out and occasionally Morgan and Parker would go out too. Parker seemed like a good kid, and they insisted on meeting his parents right from the beginning. They didn’t think twice when, over time, Morgan started mouthing off, rolling her eyes, and pushing back against the rules. They figured it was normal adolescent boundary-pushing. Besides, Julie and Morgan moved to this new community only a year ago before Tom and Julie got married. They figured there would be some growing pains as she figured out her new school and friend situation.
Over time, however, Morgan’s defiance escalated. She was constantly on her phone, isolating herself in her room, coming home past curfew, and eventually started sneaking out at odd times “to go for a walk.” Grounding her and taking her phone didn’t seem to help, and Julie was reticent to repeatedly punish her due to the screaming fights that would ensue when she tried to implement consequences. Julie felt like maintaining a cooperative alliance with Morgan was more effective than punishment. So, she worked hard to spend time with her daughter and felt that she’d grow out of the teen attitude.
More Than Teen Rebellion
Tom realized it was more than teen rebellion when his neighbor, who worked in law enforcement, came by and
reported that he’d seen Morgan buying drugs from different men that would drive up to her during her walks. Julie and Tom were shocked and terrified. They put Morgan into therapy and drug-tested her. When she came up positive for multiple drugs, they put her in intensive outpatient therapy for teens who abuse drugs. They tightened up on their rules and hoped that everything would sort out now that Morgan was getting professional help.
Over time, Morgan’s attitude got better, and she said she liked her therapists. Until one day Julie discovered fentanyl tablets in Morgan’s room and realized they needed to investigate further. Although Julie was still reticent to invade Morgan’s privacy, Tom insisted they confiscate Morgan’s phone and restrict social media and socializing privileges until they could better understand and control the situation.
Phone Content Reveals the “Real” Story
When they accessed Morgan’s phone, they discovered she was swept up in many dealings with multiple drug dealers, most of them adults and some in gangs. They also saw text exchanges that demonstrated that she and her boyfriend were offering nude photos and videos of them having sex in exchange for drugs. It was also clear that Morgan had sex with some of the dealers in exchange for drugs. Julie and Tom were heartbroken and reached out to law enforcement.
From the phone content, several arrests ensued and Morgan filed a restraining order against Parker. The videos revealed that both teens were under the influence during the sexual encounters and Parker may even be charged with a crime since Morgan is heard saying “no” in some of the videos.
Morgan was immediately enrolled in an online charter school and has been admitted to several inpatient drug rehabilitation programs. She takes the prescription drug, Suboxone, to help her avoid opioid withdrawal and stay off fentanyl. Tom and Julie deleted her social media profiles and don’t allow her any screen use except when she borrows her mom’s phone for browsing here and there. Despite these measures, she has found alternative ways to communicate with old friends by using and sneaking other people’s devices and using the computers at school. As she “unlearns” the manipulative, unhealthy behaviors typical of addiction, she has been kicked out of various schools, friend groups, extracurricular activities, treatment centers, and therapy groups. It will be a long road to healing for Morgan. Although Julie and Tom did the best they could, they wish they would have done more and sooner.
Tom’s Take-Away Advice
When we asked Tom what he wish he’d have done, he shared the following suggestions:
If I had known how rampant drug sales are among middle and high school students on social media platforms like Snapchat and Instagram, I would not have allowed any social media until the age of 16 minimum
I would have set up more stringent monitoring on all devices and computers, and I would have provided a talk-and-text-only phone with no way to add apps and no way to access the Internet until the age of 16.
I would have volunteered to be the pickup parent instead of the drop-off. Kids are smart. They knew I would catch them if they were under the influence when I picked them up.
I would have shut off our Wi-Fi network every night and checked which devices were using our Wifi. Morgan was able to sneak a “burner phone” at night until he realized that he could monitor WiFi use.
Finally, I would have set up random drug testing as a general policy. Parents who assume that they have no reason to drug test their kids because they’re athletes, straight-A students, or generally good kids still can’t be confident their kids are not being influenced by dangerous others. Drug testing is an insurance policy to help keep your kids alive.
If you want to get into smart parenting habits before your kids run into trouble:
Use our free Connected Family Screen Agreement (and weekly GKIS Blog articles) to set rules and expectations when your kids first get ownership over digital devices and social media platforms. The first rule is that nothing on your device is private, and parents get anytime access.
Purchase our Screen Safety Essentials Course to support the whole family and parenting team for better screen safety and a more honest and cooperative home life.
Check out Social Media Readiness Course for tweens and teens. This course offers 10 modules that teach screen safety issues and psychological wellness tools to optimize mental health in both real-life and digital landscapes. Each module offers a quiz to demonstrate mastery of content.
Finally, talk to your kids, be consistent with monitoring and screen use rules, and don’t assume they won’t experiment with dangerous situations. To learn more about which social media platforms are popular for drug deals and the emoticons they use, check out our article A Teen’s Addicts Confessions About Online Workarounds.
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
Do you find yourself wasting precious time and energy on your screen devices? Does consuming digital content distract you from connecting deeply with yourself, others, and nature? If so, you are not alone. The average American spends 5 hours a day on smartphones, and 61% admit to being addicted to the internet and their devices.[1]When researching this article, I was shocked to find that I may be an internet addict! So, I challenged myself to a week-long digital detox to better understand the benefits of managing time, forming deeper connections, and seeking fulfilling triggers for natural dopamine. If you’re hooked too, check out Dr. Bennett’s book, Screen Time in the Mean Time. She covers why our screens are so compelling and creative ways to break the spell. Screen Time in the Mean Timeis particularly critical for parents to assess the impacts that screen use has on their kids.
Digital Dopamine
The happiness we experience from eating ice cream on a hot summer day is similar to the happiness we experience from receiving notifications from our digital devices. Dopamine is responsible for that happiness. Dopamine is the feel-good chemical produced by our brain’s pleasure center that plays a starring role in motivation, desire, and behavior.[2]Dopamine gets released when we experience joy – like taking a bite of delicious food, having sex, exercising, or having fun talking to a friend. In an evolutionary context, dopamine rewards us for doing beneficial behaviors and motivates us to repeat them.[2]
Once dopamine is released, our brain craves more of the same or similar sources of stimuli. Smartphones provide a virtually unlimited supply of social stimuli, positive and negative. Every notification, whether it’s a text message or a “like” on Instagram or Facebook, has the potential for gushing dopamine.[2] However, most of us agree that digital dopamine feels more artificial than the dopamine released during real-life magical moments. If we restrict addictive digital habits that lead to dopamine dependency, we’ll train our brains to be at peace and content without distraction for longer durations. Contentment without distraction leads to less stress overall and more productivity.
What is a digital detox?
The Oxford Dictionary defines digital detox as, “A period of time during which a person refrains from using electronic devices such as smartphones or computers, regarded as an opportunity to reduce stress or focus on social interaction in the physical world.”[3]
According to Psychology Today, a digital detox does not always mean complete abstinence. Many people use their digital devices for essential business, educational, and familial purposes.[4]
Do you need to do a digital detox?
Do you …
feel anxious or stressed if you can’t find your phone?
feel compelled to check your phone every few minutes?
feel depressed, anxious, or angry after spending time on social media?
get preoccupied with the like, comment, or reshare counts on your social media posts?
feel afraid that you’ll miss something if you don’t keep checking your device?
often find yourself staying up late or getting up early to play on your phone?
have trouble concentrating on one thing without having to check your phone?
experience a low self-image due to comparing yourself to others online?
not spend enough time moving around or engaging in exercising or mind/body-related activities?
watch screens while eating meals, resulting in disoriented eating patterns which can lead to weight gain or restrictive eating habits.?[5]
If several of these issues apply to you, consider challenging yourself to a detox!
My Digital Detox Experience
On day one of my digital detox, I felt uncomfortable, yet relieved, from my sense of detachment. I knew I was missing out on online conversations, content, news, and media. But I didn’t mind because I was spending time on outlets that drew me closer to my life instead. My attention and focus improved. I also noticed instant behavior, mood, and energy enhancements. I felt more productive, efficient, and happily regulated.
My quality of sleep also improved significantly! Before my detox, I was on my phone late at night or first thing in the morning due to an influx of demanding notifications. That often tanked my mood moment one. Once detoxed though, I didn’t feel the need to check on what other people were doing because I was entirely focused on what I was doing. I also felt more self-confident because I wasn’t comparing myself to everybody else’s perfect selfies, relationships, and amazing vacations.
Don’t get me wrong, I was tempted! Especially in those boring moments. But after a while, I learned to happily pick up a book, go for a walk, make home-cooked meals, play with my dogs, or journal. These activities released natural and rewarding dopamine throughout my mind, body, and soul.
Overall, after my week-long digital detox, I preferred to stay disconnected. Now two weeks later, I feel more focused, connected, healthy, and happy! I feel empowered having broken that dependence on instant gratification, media engagements, and feedback.
The Benefits of a Digital Detox
Engaging in hobbies that release yummy dopamine in the brain
More time to get things done
Happy and steadied mood
Self-focused rather than the compare and despair of social media
Better eating, sleeping, and thinking patterns
How To Get Started
Pay attention to your emotions when you use your phone.
Schedule breaks from phone
Use apps to track usage
Disconnect at night before bed to wind down
Turn off notifications or put them on a later home screen on your phone
Time spent online– individuals who aim to abstain from digital devices during certain times of the day, or even certain days of the week can schedule a digital curfew. For example, no usage after 9 PM, or no usage on Sundays. Such strategies are helpful for ensuring productivity during the day and better sleep and rest at night.
Digital-free Spaces- Some British pubs have enacted a ‘no phones, no laptops, no tablets’ policy to encourage social conversation. Similarly, some people have started specifying digital-free spaces in their own homes. This commonly includes spaces such as the bedroom or the dinner table.
Alternatives. Many people are using social media and digital devices to fill a social void. A successful digital detox will create free time for alternative activities, which may better fill this void. Individuals can create an action plan in this regard, which may include rekindling old interests, pursuing new hobbies, or volunteering for a sense of fulfillment.
GKIS Courses Can Help
Our Screen Safety Essential Course gives you access to the tools and resources that you need to safely navigate today’s world. Our Essentials Course grants you instant access to useful videos, workshops, articles, and more.
Screen Time in the Mean Time is the parenting guide needed in this digital age. Dr. B’s book provides tangible ways to keep your family safe and connected while utilizing technology.
Our GKIS Social Media Readiness Course allows teens an opportunity to start taking accountability for their actions online and become proactive instead of reactive.
Our GKIS Screen Safety Toolkit is a resource guide perfect for those that need smart tech tools for filtering, monitoring, and management plus some time to find workarounds.
Thanks to CSUCI intern Haley Begun for researching and co-authoring this article about the signs and benefits of a needed digital detox!
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
Imagine discovering that the “innocent” cartoon emoji pinging on your teen’s phone is not harmless fun, but instead a secret drug deal? To help you recognize dangerous dealings, I interviewed a recovering addict whose parents had no idea what he was up to until it was too late. With our Screen Safety Toolkit, you can get a head start with screen safety and prevention. The Screen Safety Toolkit is a resource guide that includes our best recommendations, how-to information, and easy links to our favorite easy-to-onboard parental control systems. Today’s GKIS article shares the true story of a young addict’s emoji workarounds, how to spot dangerous online dealings, and offers great tips to maintain your children’s safety when interacting online.
What are emojis?
Emojis are small digital icons that are readily available on screen devices. Emojis range from facial expressions to common objects, places, animals, and more. According to a report from the emotional marketing platform Emogi, about 92% of online users use emojis.[1,2]
The Pros and Cons of Emoji use
Pros
Emojis add fun and excitement to conversations and social media posts- help convey emotions in online chats. They are particularly helpful because of the lack of nonverbal cues online, such as body language or facial expressions. For example, testing “sure.” suggests annoyance, while “sure 😊” suggests happy agreement.[3]
Cons
Although emojis were originally intended to represent simple concepts, teenagers also use these symbols for encrypted messages about drugs and other illicit activities. Encrypted emoji messages enable life-threatening drugs to reach communities faster, easier, and cheaper.
At a glance, a conversation on your child’s phone may appear to be about being at the gas station but instead is about buying marijuana laced with fentanyl, a synthetic opioid that is 80-100 times stronger than morphine.[4,5,7,8]
How to Tell if Emojis are Indicative of Illicit Drug Use
According to the Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA), the use of emojis alone should not be indicative of illegal activity. Concerns should be raised if the use of emojis is simultaneously accompanied by changes in behavior or appearance or a significant loss or increase in income. The DEA has even published drug decoding sheets for the public’s awareness.[4,6]
A Young Addicts Story
To better understand the workarounds of encrypted messaging, I interviewed a recovering addict. He reported that when he first started his drug use, he would use specific social media platforms to help keep his drug addiction a secret from family and friends.
Here are the tips he revealed:
Snapchat
The DEA reports that Snapchat is the number one social media platform for online drug activity, and my contact confirms that he and his dealers used it too. He explained that Snapchat is an application where people can keep conversations hidden. Snapchat has specific settings that allow users to quickly view pictures, videos, or messages that will disappear after viewing.
Privacy settings on Snapchat also allow users to ensure that only specific people can view what they refer to as “stories.” The young addict remembers his drug dealers adding him as a friend on Snapchat. From there he would track emoji-coded advertisements on their “stories” that revealed which drugs were available for sale.[6]
Venmo
Venmo was another platform that was used by the young addict. Venmo is an application that allows money transfers between users. LendEDU revealed that nearly 1/3 of their survey participants admitted to using this app to pay for drugs.
My interviewee admitted that this was not initially the way he paid for his drug transactions. Instead, before gaining the trust of his drug dealers, they’d come to his home to drop off the drugs and receive payment in only cash after sending an emoji encrypted text that they were outside. His mother reports being very scared to find out that her son’s drug dealers knew where their family lived, which made her reluctant to report the drug dealer to law enforcement officials despite figuring out his identity.[9]
Encoded Texts
The mother I interviewed confirmed that encrypted text messages are a useful way to suppress adult suspicion. She explained that, if it were not for other indicative factors like his drastic weight loss, mood swings, and incomes loss she would have never expected phrases such as, “Do you have kitty cat?” to be an encrypted message referring to the drug ketamine. She remembers seeing other emoji codes and “cute names” for drugs, but not giving them much attention initially. She said she was overwhelmed trying to research on how to stop dangerous online conversations and seek the help he needed.
If you worry things are getting by you, let go of the guilt and let us do the research for you! Researching digital safety tools is overwhelming! But lucky for you, we’ve made it easy. Our GKIS Screen Safety Toolkit is a resource guide perfect for those that need smart tech tools for filtering, monitoring, and management plus some time to find workarounds.
Dr. Bennett recognizes that it’s no longer possible to live a screen-free lifestyle or monitor 100% of the time. And it can be terrifying to know that kids can become victims of online predators and drug dealers. Our family-tested and outcome-based course helps you close screen risk gaps and improve family cooperation and closeness. Check it out to minimize risks and have easier dialogues for better parent-child relationships.
Teen curiosity online can be dangerous and teens don’t always make sound decisions due to lack of experience and poor impulse control. Our GKIS Social Media Readiness Course allows teens an opportunity to start taking accountability for their actions online and become proactive instead of reactive.
The story of the young addict demonstrates how parents can easily miss indications of digital injury and serious problems. Teenagers are becoming more innovative on how to keep their parents in the dark, such as emoji encrypted messages. With our GKIS Online Safety Red Flags For Parents, parents will learn what behavioral red flags they should be on the lookout for that may signal that a child is suffering from a digital injury.
Thanks to CSUCI intern Ashley Salazar for researching and co-authoring this article. If you suspect your loved one is struggling with substance abuse, please reach out for help. Contact your health insurance carrier or call SAMHSA’s National helpline for more resources and advice.
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
As many as 97% of teens actively use at least one form of social media.[1] If your tween or teen has social media, help them become informed, safer consumers with our Social Media Readiness Course. Our online course includes mastery quizzes after each lesson and can be done at your own pace. We think it’s the best way to help kids avoid the many sources of digital injury and help them integrate critical psychological wellness tools. Today’s article is all about social media and psychological wellness. Is social media use contributing to your child’s social anxiety disorder?
Social Anxiety Disorder
Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) is a debilitating disorder that impacts children and adults and is characterized by an intense fear of being judged by others in social settings.[2] Since the stay-at-home orders from COVID19, Dr. Bennett says that many kids, teens, and adults have developed social anxiety due to the stress and loss of practice due to isolation. People who suffer from SAD avoid social situations that require peer conversations, giving speeches, and being among unfamiliar people.
What are the signs of SAD?
Although we all may go through bouts of shyness or anxiety when doing social things like making speeches, SAD is a heightened and debilitating version of these same fears. Studies have shown that children with SAD often struggle with peer friendships, academics, and even family life.[3]
Here are typical characteristics of SAD:
Excessive fear regarding social situations
Agitation
Low self-esteem
Avoidance of social engagements
Excessive worry
Poor eye contact
These are things you can be on the lookout for when observing your children. Are they struggling to keep up academically? Are they complaining that they don’t have friends? Do you notice that they lack the confidence to initiate conversations or speak up for themselves?
If you feel concerned, reach out for professional assistance from a therapist or licensed psychologist. The sooner a child gets assistance with SAD, the sooner they can start working on it and find resolutions to their fears. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is particularly effective with SAD.
CBT is a form of therapy that offers strategies to help subjects change maladaptive thinking patterns and gain insight into things that reward anxiety. Unique treatment plans can be altered for each patient. One of the things that make CBT unique is the emphasis on teaching the patient about the disorder and allowing them to create their coping skills and ultimately be their own therapist.[4]
Social Media’s Impact on SAD
Studies have shown that children with SAD tend to have lower interpersonal trust and are more prone to hurt feelings. For some kids who have a hard time building peer relationships in person, using social media can help them make friends and feel included. Talking to peers on social media allows children to think before they send a message which may lessen their fear of judgment. Also, online conversations take out the tough-to-interpret facial expressions that sometimes cause people with SAD to overthink and freeze up.
A great example of where this could come in handy is during a lunch break. Children with SAD may have a hard time interacting during lunch and stay quiet due to fear of being judged. This same child can go home and message their friends on social media about something that was discussed during lunch without having to worry about others watching them. By messaging their thoughts to their friends, they can compose their words and it lets them be involved and part of the conversations.
On the other hand, studies have shown that children with SAD worry more about being judged on what they post than others do.[5] Since a child with SAD is already more prone to hurt feelings, they may get more upset by comments and feelings of exclusion. They may also overthink about posted content wanting to make sure others enjoy it. A balance between offline practice and online practice is key to psychological wellness and social skills mastery.
Things You Can Do to Help Your Child Avoid SAD
Enjoy the support of weekly coaching.
The most important thing that parents can do is be aware of the potential risks and promote an environment of open communication with your children. Dr. B offers a comprehensive family program for fostering this kind of communication in her Screen Safety Essentials Course. With this course, your family will learn tons of information about how to create a safer screen home environment while also connecting and having fun as a family. Armed with the right tools, you and your family can learn how to better thrive in today’s digital era.
Set screen time limits.
Most phones have parental control options to limit the amount of time spent on social media apps. The Screen Safety Toolkit explains the amount of screen time recommended for your children and gives you the tools you need to set up the controls, track usage, and filter unwanted content for safe browsing.
Offer opportunities to practice social engagement.
Sometimes kids need extra support when they are feeling socially anxious. If your child opts out of social interactions, provide a series of opportunities to practice social engagement with your help. Start by encouraging your child to order on their own in restaurants. Continue the same tasks until the child feels comfortable doing them. Once they’re comfortable with the first task, move on to slightly more challenging tasks like small talk when purchasing groceries or waiting in line. Mastering increasingly challenging social tasks can help your child learn social skills and build self-confidence.
Consider CBT Therapy.
If your child’s symptoms are getting in the way of school, friendships, or overall happiness, CBT therapy treatment can help them learn coping skills and face their fears head-on.
Thanks to CSUCI intern Tara Meizel for researching social media and its effects on children with Social Anxiety disorder and co-authoring this article.
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
[1] Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research. (2019, December 21). Teens and social media use: What’s the impact? Mayo Clinic. Retrieved October 7, 2021, from https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/tween-and-teen-health/in-depth/teens-and-social-media-use/art-20474437.
[2] Seedat, S. (2013). Social anxiety disorder (social phobia). South African Journal of Psychiatry, 19(3), 192+. https://link.gale.com/apps/doc/A343258868/AONE?u=csuci&sid=bookmark-AONE&xid=5e09250d
[3] Khalid-Khan, S., Santibanez, M.-P., McMicken, C., & Rynn, M. A. (2012, August 22). Social anxiety disorder in children and adolescents. Pediatric Drugs. Retrieved October 7, 2021, from https://link.springer.com/article/10.2165/00148581-200709040-00004#citeas.
[4] What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy? (2017, July). Apa.org. https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/cognitive-behavioral#:~:text=What%20Is%20Cognitive%20Behavioral%20Therapy%3F%20Cognitive%20behavioral%20therapy
[5] Shabahang, R., Arguete, M. S., & Shim, H. (2021). Social media posting anxiety: Interpsonal trust, fear or negative evaluation, and hurt feeling proneness as predictors. Journal of Media Psychology: Theories, Methods and Applications. https://doi.org/10.1027/1864-1105/a000300
Thanks to CSUCI intern, Katherine Carroll for researching “going viral” and its effect on the brain and self-esteem.
