mental health

Pornography Blocking Sites and a Firsthand Account of Pornography Addiction

December 4, 2023 by Samantha Sanchez

It’s no secret that porn has taken over the virtual world. But many aren’t aware that their tweens and teens are at risk for porn addiction. Today we’re looking at a candid first-hand account of someone whose porn addiction started at the age of 12. We’re also taking a glimpse at porn-blocking sites and our tips for recovery. If you’d like to find out what it takes to protect your kid from the dangers of the net and learn info on parental controls and monitoring, check out our GKIS Screen Safety Toolkit.

The Dangers of Porn

As mentioned in our article Online Pornography’s Impact on Kids and Teens, pornography consumption has grown. With adult sites like Pornhub growing more popular, our youth are at risk of developing a porn addiction more than ever.

According to Dr. Bennett, the demographic most at risk for porn addiction is adolescents with troubled familial relations.[1] For years, the common stereotype was that mainly boys were at risk for porn addiction. But times have changed. Girls are just as present on the internet, meaning all our youth are at risk for developing a porn addiction.

In the Online Pornography’s Impact on Kids and Teens article, Dr. B goes over the effects of regular pornography consumption, which could include the following:

Earlier sexual intercourse
Normalization of violence against women
Sexual aggression
Desensitization and habituation (this means the user may get used to less extreme content and will have to view more extreme content to get the same feeling of satisfaction.)
Hypersexual Disorder, is a disorder that causes one to engage in or think about sex to the point that it affects their life.[2]

For a deeper dive into porn addiction and how it can affect your child, check out Dr. B’s book, Screen Time in the Meantime: A Parenting Guide to Getting Kids Internet Safe.

A Firsthand Account of Pornography Addiction

Chase is a former pornography addict. He opened up and gave us insight into what it’s like being addicted and how it affected his mental health.

“When I was addicted to pornography, I think I was about 12 or 13 years old. It lasted until I turned 23 and it was a daily occurrence. I was consuming porn in different forms around 3 to 4 times a day,” he said.

Chase claimed that he got used to consuming porn quickly and talked about how it became a demanding habit. “It felt very infectious to my lifestyle. I’d pick up the phone and have to indulge in porn. Done doing a specific activity? Browsing [porn] again. It felt like if I didn’t get as much satisfaction from a ‘session,’ the next session had to fit a specific theme or fetish.”

Chase discussed how his porn addiction started creeping into other places in his life, saying “It got so bad to the point where it infected other things that aren’t even related to it in the first place. Looking up specific people, fetishes, and at its worst, trying to find easier avenues or different ways to access content. It was bad.”

He got even more candid with us, explaining how the addiction became mentally and physically invasive. “I think it affected my mental state very much. I don’t have too much experience in mental challenges when it comes to myself anyway, but it impacted my ability to follow daily habits and schedules, and at its worst, caused me to cancel plans.”

When asked about his advice for addiction prevention advice for those suffering from porn addiction, he replied “It’d be to not create any accounts for anything porn related. Limit yourself slowly over time, and don’t let yourself lose sight of what the future version you have of yourself would do, and slowly become that. You aren’t alone and reach out for help if you need it.”

Shame and How It Prevents Recovery

Because of the taboo nature of pornography, many people battling porn addictions experience feelings of shame and guilt. It’s why most people keep their addiction hidden for so long before seeking help. Some experience shame so much that they never seek help.

We see shame as a huge problem. In a study titled “Hidden in shame: Heterosexual men’s experiences of self-perceived problematic pornography use,”15 men were interviewed about their experience with porn. Nearly all of them stated that they grew up never talking or learning about sex education with their parents. They also stated that viewing pornography is taboo and it was difficult for them to seek help due to fear of rejection.[3]

One participant even sought help through a doctor when they were experiencing a reduced libido that stemmed from porn addiction. The doctor not only had nothing to offer him, but he immediately referred him to a male fertility specialist for testosterone treatments that cost him hundreds of dollars.[4]

Porn Site Blockers

Of course, it’s best to not even visit porn sites in the first place. But if you worry you have a problem, here are some porn-blocking tools that may help.

Disclaimer: GKIS is not sponsored or partnered with any of the porn-blocking sites listed.

Canopy

Canopy is an app that blocks porn sites, blocks apps, schedules screen time and downtime, and sexting prevention through image and text detection.[5] Parents or spouses set up their host account on their device followed by the kid/main user account on the kid/user’s device. The parent or spouse oversees the control settings and monitors the other device.

FamiSafe

FamiSafe is another app that blocks porn websites on any device. Like Canopy, parents have access to controls and internet usage. Parents can track social media usage, set screen time limits, track location, monitor keywords searched or sent via text, and more. Parents are notified when their kids are texting about inappropriate topics or when they’re at a location they shouldn’t be.[6]

CovenantEyes and the Victory App

CovenantEyes is a porn detector and blocker. It’s paired with its companion tool, the Victory app, to scan for suspicious activity, send reminders and check-ins, and issue mini-courses to see your progress.[7] CovenantEyes also offers Christian resources for followers struggling with porn addiction.

GKIS Tips for the Road to Recovery

Porn-blocking sites are useful but not foolproof. So, GKIS has tips for parents of children suffering from porn addiction.

It is healthy and appropriate for children to be curious about the human body and sexuality. For tips about how to offer shame-free sex education, check out our 4-article series starting with 6 Parenting Tips for Making Sex Ed Easier!
In addition to using home-setup strategies detailed in our Connected Family Course and parental monitoring tools listed in our Screen Safety Toolkit, consistently spot-check your child’s screen device. Talking to your child about spot-checking may steer them away from adult content since they know their device may be checked anytime.
Let them know this is the family policy before you buy them screen devices. That way they won’t feel lied to, betrayed, or spied upon if you do find questionable content. And if you do find something, allow that to be a teaching opportunity rather than a punishing opportunity. Your best safety tool is a healthy, collaborative parent-child relationship.
Limiting time on specific apps may be a useful tool for recovery. Apps like Instagram, Twitter, and Reddit are some of the most popular apps for adult film stars to promote their content. (Most smartphones report the time used on each app in ‘Settings.’)
A reward system for good progress may be of good use for porn addiction recovery. Although it may seem like an old-fashioned method, rewarding good behavior has been researched and proven to be effective. Whether it’s a new book, dinner at their favorite restaurant, or a trip to the movies, rewards (with verbal affirmations) can give your child the motivation to stay on the path to recovery.
If you are considering allowing social media apps for your tween or teen, our Social Media Readiness Course offers information about the risks of digital injury and helpful psychological wellness tools as well!

Battling pornography addiction is hard for anyone, let alone our youth. Whether you have a teen or tween battling addiction or simply want to help them surf the internet safely, GKIS has multiple resources to help you get there. Whether you’re utilizing our Screen Safety Toolkit or simply giving our sex ed articles a read, GKIS is here to make it a smoother journey for you.

A special thanks to Chase for sharing his story.

Thanks to CSUCI intern Samantha Sanchez for preparing this article and researching porn addiction.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
Onward to More Awesome Parenting

Dr. Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.

Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty

GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] Online Pornography’s Impact on Kids and Teens (https://getkidsinternetsafe.com/porn/)

[2] Screentime in the Meantime: A Parenting Guide to Get Kids and Teens Internet Safe (https://getkidsinternetsafe.com/parenting-guide/)

[3] Sniewski, L., & Farvid, P. (2020). Hidden in shame: Heterosexual men’s experiences of self-perceived problematic pornography use. Psychology of Men & Masculinities, 21(2), 201–212. https://doi-org.ezproxy.csuci.edu/10.1037/men0000232

[4] Ibid.

[5] Canopy (https://canopy.us/2023/02/16/best-porn-blocker/)

[6] FamiSafe (https://canopy.us/2023/02/16/best-porn-blocker/)

[7] CovenantEyes (https://www.covenanteyes.com/how-it-works/)

Photo Credits

Charlesdeluvio via Unsplash (https://unsplash.com/photos/hand-mannequin-holding-green-cactus-plant-RoB4hHjW_fc)

Franco Alva via Unsplash (https://unsplash.com/photos/man-in-black-t-shirt-using-black-laptop-computer-aqFzxyC3rf8)

Annie Spratt via Unsplash (https://unsplash.com/photos/man-in-black-t-shirt-lying-on-couch-rmKkZqnVtk4)

Is Your Child Exhibiting Digital Self-Harm?

May 4, 2023 by Brandon Bishop

In 2013, a 14-year-old girl in England named Hannah Smith committed suicide after being bullied and receiving hurtful comments on a social media website. When her father called for there to be accountability for the people who had left messages about his daughter before her death, it was revealed by the police that Hannah had most likely written the messages herself.[1] This was one of the first recognized incidents of digital self-harm, where a person leaves harmful messages, comments, or posts about themselves on the internet. We have written about physical self-harm in the GKIS article, “What Parents Need to Know About America’s Cutting Epidemic,” but today we’re going to examine the possible causes of digital self-harm, and how you can take steps to help your children if they’re experiencing this. To prevent digital self-harm, keeping open communication between you and your kids about their screen usage is essential. The GKIS Connected Family Screen Agreement is our free digital contract that helps create an open forum of communication between you and your kids and offers tips about the basics of internet safety.

What makes digital self-harm different?

Physical self-harm is when a person injures or puts themselves at risk without intent for committing suicide. Often this is done to numb emotional pain or cry for help. The most known forms of self-harm are cutting or burning yourself or skin-picking, but other risky behaviors like excessive drinking and drug use can become self-harm depending on the person’s motivation.[2] Physical self-harm can accompany or lead to suicidality.

Digital self-harm is similar to the physical forms of self-harm, but it takes place over the Internet. A teenager who’s self-harming this way may leave hateful comments and messages for themselves on social media, often in a publicly visible place. This is done anonymously on a fake account they’ve created.[3] By doing this to themselves, it can make it look like they’re being cyberbullied or harassed by others. Like physical self-harm, teenagers who digitally self-harm are at a much higher risk of suicidal thoughts or making a suicide attempt.[4]

Why do people engage in digital self-harm?

There are many reasons a teen may engage in digital self-harm, including:

to express overwhelming negative feelings about themselves.
to take control of peer relations where they’d otherwise feel out of control.
to look artsy, tough, or cool or better belong among others victimized by bullying or cyberbullying.
to numb out or punish themselves.[2][6]
to attract much-needed help and support.[5]
to elicit compliments and praise from others.
in hopes that friends will come to their defense and say positive things about them.[5]
to create a forum where they can engage in a public discourse and track responses.[5]
to phish to find out if other people see them in a similarly negative way.[6]

How common is this behavior?

A study in 2012 surveyed 617 college students and found that 9% of those students admitted to committing digital self-harm behavior while they were in high school.[7]

Another more recent 2017 study surveyed 5,593 middle-school and high-school students and found that about 5% admitted to digital self-harm, and 6% admitted to cyberbullying themselves.[3] They also found that teenagers who had digitally self-harmed were also more likely to have been bullied in the past than the students who hadn’t self-harmed.

The Role of Social Media in Self-Harm

As social media has gotten more popular, teenage mental health has been getting worse. One study found that adolescent suicide rates and depressive symptoms increased from 2010 to 2015, particularly among young girls.[8] Another found that students who checked social media 50-100 times a day were more likely to be distressed than their peers who checked less frequently, and that checking more than 100 times a day led to even higher distress.[9]

While self-harming behavior is usually done in private, social media opens the possibility of exposure to the negative emotions that cause self-harm. Social media allows kids and teens to communicate with others who self-harm and more easily find information about how to do different types of self-harm.[2]

What should I do if someone I know is digitally self-harming?

While digital self-harm is a new phenomenon in the worlds of social media and psychology, there are preventative measures that could help you monitor for digital self-harm in your family:

Take active steps to manage your children’s time online and monitor what kinds of websites your children are accessing. The GKIS Screen Safety Toolkit provides you with advice and app recommendations to set up parental controls, screen time management, and website filtering and blocking.
Recognize that self-harm is usually a symptom of other problems in your child’s life, and that they may be keeping it to themselves to avoid embarrassment or punishment. Respond with empathy in mind. This is a poorly thought-through coping mechanism that is fairly common among kids, tweens, and teens. Don’t respond harshly because you are disappointed or embarrassed. Instead, make this a teaching opportunity and gently validate their feelings and coach them through to better solutions. Kids make mistakes online just as they do offline. They’re still learning.
If the free Connected Family Agreement catches your interest and you want something more comprehensive, our megacourse for Screen Safety Essentials offers GKIS content for the whole family to form healthier screen use habits and encourage cooperation between you and your kids.
If you’re worried that your teen is self-harming or suicidal, contact a mental health professional as soon as possible. Typically, the earlier the intervention, the more effective it is.

Thanks to CSUCI intern Brandon Bishop for researching digital self-harm and its causes and authoring this article.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Facility
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] Hannah Smith inquest: Teenager posted ‘online messages’ from BBC News

[2] Identifying Different Types of Self-Harm in Teens from Newport Academy

[3] Digital Self-Harm Among Adolescents by Dr. Justin W. Patchin & Dr. Sameer Hinduja

[4] Digital self-harm and suicidality among adolescents by Justin W. Patchin, Sameer Hinduja, and Ryan C. Meldrum

[5] Digital Self-Harm and Other Acts of Self-Harassment by Danah Boyd

[6] Digital Self-Harm in Adolescents: What It Is and How to Prevent It from Newport Academy

[7] Digital Self-Harm: Frequency, Type, Motivations, and Outcomes by Dr. Elizabeth Englander

[8] Increases in Depressive Symptoms, Suicide-Related Outcomes, and Suicide Rates Among U.S. Adolescents After 2010 and Links to Increased New Media Screen Time by Dr. Jean M. Twenge, et al.

[9] #Being Thirteen: Social Media and the Hidden World of Young Adolescents’ Peer Culture by Dr. Marion K. Underwood & Dr. Robert Faris

Photo Credits

Photo by Pixabay from Pexels: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-looking-at-sea-while-sitting-on-beach-247314/

Photo by Mikoto.raw Photographer from Pexels: https://www.pexels.com/photo/photo-of-woman-using-mobile-phone-3367850/

Photo by Tracy Le Blanc from Pexels: https://www.pexels.com/photo/person-holding-iphone-showing-social-networks-folder-607812/

Our Youth Mental Health Emergency

March 20, 2023 by GetKidsInternetSafe

The CDC recently released its Youth Risk Behavior Survey reporting that an alarmingly high percentage of American teens, particularly girls and LGBQ+ youth, are suffering from distressing mental health symptoms. With stressors like isolation from the COVID-19 lockdowns, too much screen use, frightening news reports, increasing college pressures, increasing financial strains on families, and the compare and despair dynamics that arise from social media, kids are feeling the pressure. Child experts and advocates have called for the Biden administration to declare a youth mental health emergency and are begging schools to adopt better trauma-informed health and sex education. What are the contributors, and how can we help?

The Highlights

The CDC report data comes from 17,000 U.S. high school students who were surveyed in the fall of 2021 when most schools returned to in-person teaching. The good news is that overall sexual activity, substance abuse, and in-school bullying are down. The bad news is that teen safety concerns due to violence, sadness, hopelessness, and suicidality are up, especially among girls and LGBQ+ students (trans students were not identified for this survey).

Here is the Summary of Findings from The Youth Risk Behavior Survey Data Summary & Trends Report: 2011–2021

Sexual Behavior

Substance Abuse

Experiencing Violence

Mental Health and Suicidality

Parental Monitoring

Teen Girls

The survey suggests that nearly 3 in 5 (57%) U.S. teen girls felt so sad or hopeless that they couldn’t engage in regular activities for two weeks or more. Nearly 1 in 3 (30%) seriously considered attempting suicide—up nearly 60% from a decade ago. And 1 in 5 (18%) experienced sexual violence in the past year—up 20% since 2017.

LGBQ+ Youth

Almost 70% of LGBQ+ students said they felt persistently sad or hopeless, and 20% reported attempting suicide. Fifty-two percent of LGBQ+ teens had poor mental health symptoms in the past 30 days compared to 29% of all teens.

Possible Contributors?

It’s important to consider that the survey occurred at the end of the isolation from COVID-19. Although I am still seeing significant fallout among kids, tweens, and teens, they have recovered somewhat from that dark and frightening time.

We must also consider that this is a survey. Without experiments where we expose one group of teens to possible causal variables (e.g., social media or isolation) and don’t expose a control group, we can’t determine what is causing the distress.

Surveys simply state and analyze subject report. It’s impossible to tell the causes from this type of data. We are left to guess with our observations and experience, forming hypotheses and looking for evidence to support them. As the Founder of GetKidsInternetSafe, a mother, university faculty member, author, and clinician who has treated kids, teens, and families for over 25 years, I have some ideas.

PHONELY: Our kids are phonely. Because we were hunters and gatherers for 90% of human existence, our brains are wired to thrive with face-to-face tribalism. Online relationships just don’t do it for us long-term.

ISOLATION: With the isolation of COVID-19, kids lost friends and confidence and regressed in their social skills.

SOCIAL MEDIA: Social media and the internet offers a constant onslaught of online ads and marketing influencers for kids and teens. This unfiltered exposure can lead to chronic fears of being judged and ridiculed as well as feelings of inadequacy and exclusion. The CDC report demonstrates that there is an epidemic of online bullying and cybersexual violence, especially toward girls and LGBTQ youth.

PARENTING: Parenting strategies have become overly protective based on anxiety and fear resulting in less child independence and more fear of failure. Plus, they spend more time online than with us. It is difficult for parents to overcome the influence of strangers and taking away all screen activities has become nearly impossible.

NEWS: Sensational and divisive news expertly and manipulatively communicates fear-inducing trends like mass shootings, climate change, and inflation. This has got most of us rattled, especially the most vulnerable among us.

FINGER-POINTING: We have tolerated and participated in an ugly, divisive climate of entitlement, bullying, and blame rather than accountability and positive action.

GROUP-THINK: The internet speaks the language of mental health – but this may result in a group-think phenomenon of looping on mental health suffering instead of increasing agency and growth.

LACK OF APPLICABLE EDUCATION: Trauma-informed, evidence-based health and sex education isn’t being offered equitably among out schools. Parents don’t want to leave this important job to schools, but they’re also not doing a great job themselves in many instances.

NOT ENOUGH MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES: There aren’t enough mental health services available to our youth.

LACK OF FAITH AND COMMUNITY: Pulling together as a loving, cooperative team is critical for kids to feel a sense of belonging and community. As our families get smaller and we have fewer extended family to offer support, our kids are left to fend for themselves.

Of course, this is not an exhaustive list. But it does summarize much of the research findings and conjecture that has surrounded these issues. There are more ideas for the list. But for the purpose of solving the problem, how can we take these stressors into consideration as we discuss possible solutions?

Considering the complexity of the question, what can we do to improve the situation? Reverse Engineer!

Reverse engineering refers to the process of looking at possible outcomes (like the causes posited above) and slowly working backward for a solution. Although this is clearly a messy mission, I watch kids regain the mental health ground they lost every day in practice. Despite what some may think, effective psychotherapy isn’t simply listening and reflecting feelings of despair. As a cognitive-behavioral therapist, I employ techniques specifically designed to facilitate positive movement forward. I’ve found that, if I set the tone and get everybody started, parents can take it from there.

Here are some tips for improving mental health and well-being at home:

As a family, negotiate a set of measurable goals and revisit them often for direction and motivation. Praise and reward movement forward and maintain and warm and encouraging tone along the way.
Use storytelling and a sense of humor to normalize failure and encourage curiosity and confidence.
Turn off the news and divisive influencers who are selling toxic ideas and products.
Reassure kids that they are capable and loved and that grit is what matters the most, far more than being attractive or innate skills.
Encourage kids to detox off their phones occasionally and engage more in real-life exploration and socialization.
Stay moderate. Avoid shaming lectures and demoralizing consequences.
Offer mindfulness, problem-solving, and communication strategies to help kids gain independence and confidence.
Offer outcome- and science-based education that empowers informed action rather than create fear.
Support parents in not personalizing child behaviors and help them set fair and reasonable limits with warmth, encouragement, and love.
Lead our kids toward post-traumatic growth rather than feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and fear with expert mentorship, fun, and opportunity.

How can GetKidsInternetSafe help?

I founded GetKidsInternetSafe so I could be part of the prevention effort – rather than just the treatment effort. If you’re not sure where to get started, we have a comprehensive suite of tools for parents, tweens and teens, educators, paraprofessionals, and professionals who work with families and kids.

Start healthy conversations about social media use for free using our GKIS Connected Families Screen Agreement.
Check out our agreement supplements, the Cybersecurity & Red Flags Supplement (with three tools in one) and our How to Spot Marketing Red Flags Supplement.
Dr. Bennett’s book, Screen Time in the Mean Time, is a comprehensive and easy-to-read parenting guide for families with kids of all ages. Available on Amazon in print, e-book, and audible!
Tighten up parental controls and monitoring with the help of our GKIS Screen Safety Toolkit. This toolkit helps to empower parents and provides them with a resource list of smart tech tools to filter, monitor, and manage online behavior.
For families with younger kids, our home setup Connected Family Course is an awesome place to start.
To help your tween or teen get prepared for safer internet use and social media, help prevent digital injury, and optimize wellness, check out our most popular course, the Social Media Readiness Course.
If you need more support and accountability, sign up to work with Dr. B directly for an online parenting workshop or individual coaching.
Want to work for screen safety as a community? We’ve thought of that too! Dr. Bennett offers live presentations and webinars for adults and kids from schools, churches, corporations, and conferences.
If you work with kids as an educator, youth counselor, professional, or paraprofessional and want to be a go-to screen safety expert, get SCREEN SAFETY CERTIFIED! Also available for those who work with Christian families!

If you want all of our supplements and courses at a low cost for parents and kids, tweens, and teens, you’ll want our mega Screen Safety Essentials Course! This online course offers a set of four modules that will help you walk your kids through the essentials of screen safety.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Photo Credits

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

Photo by ALMA on Unsplash

The Return of the ‘Heroin Chic’ Body Trend Sparks Controversy Online

December 7, 2022 by Tracy Pizano

Beauty and fashion trends have always changed with the season. But with social media, the pressures to conform have increased among adults and impact younger and younger kids. At what point do we intervene to minimize the dangerous effects that arbitrary beauty standards have on kids and teens? How do we discourage the consumption of damaging content surrounding body image? If you are concerned about the damaging content your family could be exposed to, check out our Screen Safety Essentials Course. This course provides you with the tools necessary to navigate the Internet more safely and avoid digital injury. Even better, it will bring you closer to your kids! Today’s GKIS article covers the controversies of trending body types, the damage they can do to young people, and creative ideas to keep your family safe.

Heroin chic is back!

Popularized in the early 1990s, heroin chic refers to the ideal female body type with defining features that include a very thin frame and an emaciated appearance.

In November 2022, the New York Post published an article titled ‘Bye-bye booty: Heroin chic is back,’ and it immediately sparked controversy online. The article claimed that the much thinner physique was “trendy” and celebrities like Bella Hadid and Kim Kardashian who have publicized radical weight loss sparked the recent shift in body trends.

The Shortened Lifespan of Online Trends

Media has a major impact on how we perceive ourselves and the world around us.[3] With the increasing use of social media, the lifespan of trends has drastically shortened. Instead of trends lasting for a couple of years, they now last for a couple of months. That means many women whiplash between fashion fads, radical diets, and costly beauty regimens. Just when it seems that we are making progress with body positivity, the return of heroin chic only proves that within industrialized countries such as the U.S., slender women tend to be seen as more attractive.[2]

Trends have fluctuated throughout the years, coming and going and coming back again. Before the most recent return of heroin chic was the ‘slim thick’ trend from the late 2010s. Slim thick means very curvy. It’s often only achieved through plastic surgery like breast and buttock enhancement surgery. Recently social media sites have also promoted filters that make one’s face fit the trending beauty standard. A small, upturned nose, full lips, and “fox eye” eye makeup are what are considered most attractive recently on apps such as TikTok and Instagram. Another GKIS article, Influencers Hurt Child Self-Esteem by Overusing Filters, touches on how filters that dramatically alter your face can have similar effects. Check it out to learn more.

What is the damage?

Body dissatisfaction is a major source of suffering among women of all ages.[1] The intense fluctuation of beauty standards and trends can lead to self-esteem issues, lack of motivation, depression, body dysmorphia and other eating disorders, and thoughts of suicide. All genders are at risk of becoming insecure about their physical appearance. However, the risk is higher for young girls because of rapid pubertal body change and because society has deemed a woman’s attractiveness to be integral to her self-worth and value.[1]

To avoid the potential development of body image insecurities, check out our Social Media Readiness Course. This course can help prepare your tween or teen to more safely navigate the Internet and avoid damaging content.

How can we protect our teens?

Talking with your children is one way to protect them against internalizing unrealistic trends and developing insecurities. Creating a safe space to hold conversations surrounding confidence and self-esteem can help. To help guide you through these sometimes difficult conversations, we’ve developed our free Connected Family Screen Agreement. Offered in short, easy chunks, our agreement will help you become your child’s ally when it comes to screen media and family safety.

Setting smart and justifiable parameters is also key for protection. If you are lost as to how to set up the rules and maintain cooperation, our Screen Safety Essentials Course has everything you need to be your family’s go-to expert.

Social media requires a whole new set of tools for child safety. For smart management, our Screen Safety Toolkit can help.
And for tweens and teens, our Social Media Readiness Course offers the red flags of digital injury and the psychological wellness tools that Dr. Bennett teaches in her practice. With a mastery quiz at the end of each module, you can be sure that the GKIS certification your teen earns at the end really means sometimes.

Read up on important issues related to compare and despair with our GKIS articles Thinspiration From Eating Disorder Chat Rooms, What Parents Need to Cover About Kim Kardashian’s Un-covering, and YouTube Beauty Gurus Suck Money and Teen Confidence.

Thanks to CSUCI intern Tracy Pizano for researching the risks of beauty standards and trends and for co-authoring this article.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] Stapleton, P., Crighton, G. J., Carter, B., & Pidgeon, A. (2017). Self-esteem and body image in females: The mediating role of self-compassion and appearance contingent self-worth. The Humanistic Psychologist, 45(3), 238–257. https://doi-org.ezproxy.csuci.edu/10.1037/hum0000059

[2] Frederick, D. A., & Reynolds, T. A. (2022). The value of integrating evolutionary and sociocultural perspectives on body image. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 51(1), 57–66. https://doi-org.ezproxy.csuci.edu/10.1007/s10508-021-01947-4

[3] Monks, H., Costello, L., Dare, J., & Reid Boyd, E. (2021). ‘We’re continually comparing ourselves to something’: Navigating body image, media, and social media ideals at the nexus of appearance, health, and wellness. Sex Roles: A Journal of Research, 84(3–4), 221–237. https://doi-org.ezproxy.csuci.edu/10.1007/s11199-020-01162-w

Photo Credits

[1] https://www.istockphoto.com/search/2/image?phrase=skinny+teen

[2] https://blogs.brighton.ac.uk/tamaraismael/2016/01/03/heroin-chic-and-tumblr-girls/

[3] https://www.istockphoto.com/search/2/image?phrase=sad+teen+on+phone

[4] https://www.istockphoto.com/photo/mid-adult-mom-has-important-conversation-with-daughter-gm1163038244-319232672?phrase=parent%20and%20teen%20girl

Beauty Filters Don’t Embrace Brown Beauty: The Rise of Colorism

May 4, 2022 by Ashley Salazar

How would you feel if you found out that your child is going to extreme and dangerous lengths to change their appearance? What if your child is putting themselves in potential harm to fit beauty standards set by beauty filters? Beauty filters can be a fun way to transform selfies, but they have failed to embrace the beauty of all skin tones, especially dark ones. This has led to the rise of colorism and extreme self-esteem issues. To help you recognize the dangers of social media on self-esteem, I interviewed Dr. Chavarria, CSUCI Assistant Professor of Sociology, to offer insight on how colorism affects minority communities and how to prevent it. If you are concerned for your child’s mental and physical well-being when they interact on social media, check out our Social Media Readiness Training for tweens and teens. Our guide prepares your children for safer screen use and prevents psychological illness with our expert emotional wellness tools. Today’s GKIS article shares the story of a young girl negatively affected by beauty filters and tips you can take to help protect your kids from colorism.

What are beauty filters?

Beauty filters are social media features that beautify and erase people’s imperfections and flaws by creating a modified version of themselves. Specific modifications can be anything, but the most popular filters alter the size of facial features, change eye color, and add effects like make-up or long eyelashes.[1]

The Negative Effects of Filters

Low Self-Esteem

Although filters can be fun, they can also be damaging to one’s self-esteem. Research demonstrates that the use of filters can lead to low self-esteem because filter users are more likely to hyper-focus on the features they dislike when using them. This can then lead to frequently comparing one’s real looks with filtered looks, changing our beauty “ideal” and recognizing (even obsessing on) our failure to live up to that ideal. Not being able to accomplish the same look with these filters can make someone feel less than or that they will always be below beauty standards. For others, it may motivate them to find a way to change their appearance to better match the beauty standards set by social media regardless of the risks these changes pose.[2]

The Rise of Colorism

It has been noted by many social media users that beautifying filters usually have a lightening or bleaching effect on the skin. In fact, according to skin color expert Ronald Hall, this effect is not an accident. He explains that it is a way to maintain and conform to historically Eurocentric beauty standards.

Beauty filters are promoting a rise in colorism. Colorism refers to prejudices or discrimination an individual may experience for having a darker skin tone. This phenomenon usually occurs among one’s own ethnic or racial group.[3,4]

A Young Teen Takes Drastic Measures to Change Appearance

Lise, a young teenager, shared her struggles with colorism. Her experience included being bullied for her darker skin tone. The bullying not only came from white girls at school but, to her surprise, also from those who looked similar to her in her same ethnic or racial group.

Seeing pictures of light-skinned women receive lots of likes and positive comments online also confirmed to Lise that she did not meet society’s standards of beauty, bringing her self-esteem down. To try to lighten her skin, Lise began to scrub her mom’s bleaching cream into her skin with a copper wire brush. Even without abrasion injuries, bleaching products can pose health risks.[4]

If you are concerned that your child is suffering from a digital injury like mood and anxiety disorders triggered by compare-and-despair, check out our GKIS Online Safety Red Flags For Parents. With this guide, you’ll learn the behavioral red flags to look out for that may signal your child is suffering from digital injury.

Colorism Affects Minority Communities on a Larger Scale

Colorism is an issue that not only affects self-esteem, but it has also been a problem for minority communities on a larger scale. Dr. Chavarria, CSUCI Assistant Professor of Sociology, explained in our interview that the emergence of colorism, particularly in the Latino society, has been a consequence of conquest and colonization of indigenous communities.

Colonizers constructed these ideas about indigenous communities so they would be perceived as inferior, uncivilized, having no knowledge, and being closer to evil. Whites or being light-skinned, in contrast, have historically been constructed to be perceived as better, good, and even closer to God.

This construction caused the devaluation of indigenous identity features such as brown skin, indigenous language, and ethnic practices leading to the destruction of indigenous communities. Many who managed to survive and succeed in the majority culture often did so by blending in and learning to assimilate. Ethnic roots were lost over generations, and minority communities lost a sense of pride in what they look like. Dr. Chavarria reported that research has demonstrated how individuals that align with beauty standards often get more career opportunities and higher pay.

How to Help Stop Colorism

Start with Family

Colorism needs to be stopped. A first step is addressing how colorism starts within the family. Dr. Chavarria stated that, although colorism often starts with the family, grandparents and parents are often not even aware they are engaging in it. They too have been socialized to believe these ideas about their indigenous roots and characteristics. Therefore, educating family members about what colorism is and how it can cause generational trauma can be the first important step to change.

As a Chicana who has also experienced colorism within my community and family, I recognize that change can be hard. Sometimes I didn’t know how to tell my grandmother that the “advice” she gave me was conforming to Eurocentric standards and colorism, and that it did more damage than help. For example, when family members told me that I should find a light-skinned man with colored eyes so my future children can inherit those features, they seemed to be telling me that, as a brown girl, I did not possess “beautiful” features.

Follow Body-Positive Campaigns

Dr. Chavarria also highly recommends that social media users check out campaigns directed to make positive changes. Cultural Survival on Facebook is a campaign that she tracks. It is an international organization that engages with indigenous communities across the globe. They address important issues like colorism by protecting indigenous women and challenging Eurocentric notions of beauty.

Practice Self-Awareness

If you find yourself contributing to colorism with comments and negative self-appraisals, challenge yourself for positive change.

Speak Out

As you become more self-aware, speak out to friends and post positive pro-beauty messages that demonstrate that beauty comes in many shades and colors. We must consistently challenge historical ideas to break biases and end discrimination. It starts with us, let’s get started!

Thanks to Dr. Chavarria for offering expert insight on colorism and how to prevent it. Thanks also to CSUCI intern Ashley Salazar for researching and co-authoring this article. Colorism is on a high rise due to beauty filters on social media. Check out our GKIS courses to learn to have easier dialogues with your children and protect them from digital injury.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1]Ma, J. (2020) Are Face Filters on Instagram, Snapchat, and TikTok leading to a distorted sense of beauty in society? YP. Are face filters on Instagram, Snapchat and TikTok leading to a distorted sense of beauty in society? – YP | South China Morning Post (scmp.com)

[2] Mac Neil, I. (2021) WATCH — Why beauty filters might be messing with your self-esteem. CBC Kids News.

WATCH — Why beauty filters might be messing with your self-esteem | Video | Kids News (cbc.ca)

[3] Wang, C. (2020) Why do beauty filters make you look whiter? Popular Science.

https://www.popsci.com/story/technology/photo-filters-white-kodak-film/

[4] Ryan Mosley, T. (2021) How digital beauty filters perpetuate colorism. MIT Technology Review. https://www.technologyreview.com/2021/08/15/1031804/digital-beauty-filters-photoshop-photo-editing-colorism-racism/

[5] https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/instagram-face-filters-dysmorphia#:~:text=She%20says%20that%20 she%2C%20 too,no%20imperfections%2C%22%20she%20explains. Have not used might use.

Photo Credits

Photo by Agarwal, Diya. https://www.flickr.com/photos/medicalhealthtips/15946735624/in/photolist-qiabVE-9H6aGv-8Lrnkk-2md9TsF-2md8Nep-5a3eXi-24qG78x-HBuwUe-2kScHdE-tPAvCu-ENxyqW-2krhzMd-2kScb6B-61zsJ-VqpLNQ-kn4YLz-2kS9Knm-w7KHtd-2kSbo8f-2kSboik-2kSgFoJ-2kSgER6-UEKxRF-2kS9KrE-2kSbopC-2kScaKS-2kScaJz-fCjuV-SXbcAJ-9KgCcQ-p57AHY-JNKLtL-tFUtpd-2mcoGCo-uRvgR-5yWPt8-9Am5c5-752fss-5oWrRc-2mcohu5-5szcJ7-2iQK6Lh-VBXddp-XonKAh-a2fEi4-7wuE7x-ouPRzz-f6xVfC-9KdK8r-H4xb4S/lightbox/

Photo by Becerra, Manny. https://unsplash.com/photos/ckXiLvOSieM

Photo by Odunsi, Oladimeji. https://unsplash.com/photos/aU_eOcelLhQ

Photo by Hryshchenko, Volodymyr. https://unsplash.com/photos/WU9dA3C4R28

GKIS Guide to Teletherapy Services

November 22, 2021 by Mackenzie Morrow

With COVID-19 quarantine guidelines and stay-at-home orders, many aspects of our daily lives have transitioned into virtual worlds. Online school, work, communication, socialization, and even grocery shopping are accessible from the safety of our homes. Mental health services are no exception to this virtual transition. With face-to-face meetings impossible, telehealth psychology services became the only viable option. As a result, state and federal regulatory agencies and insurance companies temporarily relaxed rules and regulations to ensure that more people could receive the services they need. Today’s GKIS article covers the critical issues you need to know about teletherapy.

What is teletherapy?

Teletherapy is a branch of the broader service of telehealth (or telemedicine). Generally, teletherapy facilitates remote mental health services through technology. In other words, teletherapy allows clients to receive therapeutic or psychiatric treatment from practitioners over the phone, through video chat, or even text message.[1]

How does it work?

Teletherapy involves entirely virtual interactions between mental health experts and clients through the use of smartphones, computers, or tablets. In general, teletherapy sessions are supposed to work in the same way that traditional therapy sessions work. Therapists work with clients remotely to provide talk therapy, teach therapeutic techniques, and develop coping strategies. Teletherapy can be used for one-on-one, family, marriage, and group counseling.[1]

Who offers teletherapy services?

Teletherapy services are offered by licensed mental health professionals.[1] Many of us have recently seen an increase in advertisements for teletherapy services from companies such as Talkspace and BetterHelp. These companies are online therapy platforms that hire clinicians to work for them in exchange for a steady number of clients. To apply, clinicians must provide proof of credentials, proof of competence in therapeutic treatment, and undergo a rigorous screening process.[2] Unfortunately, it is impossible to ensure that this standard of hiring and assessment is upheld by every online therapy company.

What are the potential benefits/risks of teletherapy?

Potential Benefits for Clients:

Increased Access to Mental Health Services

Telehealth can be very convenient. It alleviates travel restrictions, time constraints, and other barriers like childcare needs.

Greater Sense Of Security

Many people feel more comfortable in their homes, which allows clients to relax and be more willing to share their thoughts and feelings.

Public Health Concerns

The primary factor responsible for this shift to teletherapy is concern over public health during the global pandemic. Telehealth allows clients and experts to abide by stay-at-home safety protocols.

Economic Advantages

Teletherapy alleviates costs associated with travel and childcare.

Client Control

It’s much easier for a client to move to another therapist when using teletherapy because factors regarding commute and location of the new therapist are removed.[3]

Potential Benefits for Mental Health Practitioners:

Greater Access to Clients

Teletherapy allows therapists to meet with clients who may be unable or unwilling to travel. Many people find the prospect of meeting with a therapist in a clinical setting intimidating. For people who feel more comfortable at home, teletherapy may increase their likelihood of seeking out therapeutic treatment.

Economic Advantages

Teletherapy alleviates costs associated with travel, business expenses such as rent for office space, and allows practitioners to meet with more clients.

Time

With less time spent commuting from home to work, practitioners have greater flexibility regarding scheduling appointments with more clients.

Efficiency

Sessions conducted via chat or messaging automatically generate a record of the session, and video-conferencing allows the opportunity for sessions to be recorded.[3]

Potential Risks and Limitations for Clients:

Privacy

There are several potential risks to client privacy associated with teletherapy services.
It’s possible for hackers to access private data from a client’s device. Files containing sensitive client information that are unsecured may be accessed by an unwanted third party.
Even HIPAA compliant teletherapy services may be subject to data breaches that put client confidentiality at risk.
Unsecure chat and conferencing programs may expose sensitive client data, so clients should only work with therapists who have the tools and knowledge to encrypt data.
Some people lack access to private environments even within their own homes, this can make it difficult to protect client confidentiality as people may overhear or listen in on a private session.

Competence of the therapist

Therapists who are not competent regarding the use of technology and commercial software put their clients at significantly greater risk of breaches in confidentiality

Environment

Some people may prefer the security, and calm of a clinical office setting and have difficulty accessing a comfortable and private environment to facilitate their session.

Distractions

It is very easy for people to become distracted by things like notifications, emails, and text messages when using their devices and these distractions may impede upon the therapy session.[3]

Potential Risks and Limitations for Mental Health Practitioners:

Privacy

It is the responsibility of the clinician to protect client data, ensuring this protection is much more complex when relying on online/virtual programs than it is for clinicians in a traditional therapy setting.

Legal and ethical concerns

Therapists must comply with state licensing board regulations in both the state where they practice and where the client is located. Following the proper rules and regulations requires special knowledge and legal understanding which can be difficult to keep up with.

Communication

With the absence of face-to-face interaction comes the loss of many non-verbal cues and paralanguage that enhance overall communication among clients and clinicians. It can also be more difficult to establish a comfortable rapport with a client in a virtual setting where people feel distanced. In other words, the physical separation may impede the therapeutic dynamic.

Anonymity and client safety concerns

Clients can easily hide their identities online. This can make it much more difficult for clinicians who have a responsibility to report clients who may harm themselves or others to the proper authorities.[3]

Is teletherapy comparable to traditional therapy?

There is a lot of debate as to whether teletherapy is truly comparable to traditional therapeutic treatments. Some experts claim that there is a lack of research or evidence regarding teletherapy including its efficacy and effectiveness with long-term outcomes. Other experts claim that there is no significant difference between teletherapy and traditional therapy regarding the practices used and their efficacy. Some clients have reported great experiences with teletherapy, and others have expressed the opposite. As with traditional therapy, what seems to matter most is the compatibility of the client and the therapist. As of now, it seems difficult to definitively say which avenue of mental health care is superior. The bottom line is, whether it’s teletherapy or traditional, it is up to the client to decide what avenue best suits their needs.

Dr. Bennett has been practicing teletherapy with her child, teen, and adult clients since the beginning of the pandemic. She says she’s had to get creative figuring out how to keep kids focused with fun games and skill-training strategies. She says she does miss the natural comfort and improved intimacy of face-to-face therapy. But she suspects that over half of her clients will opt for telehealth services in the future. She says it’s particularly convenient for busy families who have multiple children in sporting and learning activities. She even got licensed in Hawaii and Idaho so she can work remotely while she is on vacation!

GKIS Services

Screen Safety Essentials Course offers a comprehensive family program with tools for fostering open communication and creating safer home screen environments.
Screen Time in the Mean Time is the parenting guide needed in this digital age. Dr. B’s book posits tangible ways to keep your family safe and connected while utilizing technology.

Thanks to CSUCI intern, Mackenzie Morrow for researching Teletherapy mental health services and co-authoring this article.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] Villines, Z. (2020). Teletherapy: How it works. Medical News Today. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/teletherapy

[2] Person, M. (2019). The pros and cons of contracting with online counseling companies. Counseling Today. https://ct.counseling.org/2019/01/the-pros-and-cons-of-contracting-with-online-counseling-companies/

[3] Stoll, J. et al. (2020). Ethical issues in online psychotherapy: A narrative review. NCBI. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7026245/

Photos Credited

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