selfies

Beauty Filters Don’t Embrace Brown Beauty: The Rise of Colorism

May 4, 2022 by Ashley Salazar

How would you feel if you found out that your child is going to extreme and dangerous lengths to change their appearance? What if your child is putting themselves in potential harm to fit beauty standards set by beauty filters? Beauty filters can be a fun way to transform selfies, but they have failed to embrace the beauty of all skin tones, especially dark ones. This has led to the rise of colorism and extreme self-esteem issues. To help you recognize the dangers of social media on self-esteem, I interviewed Dr. Chavarria, CSUCI Assistant Professor of Sociology, to offer insight on how colorism affects minority communities and how to prevent it. If you are concerned for your child’s mental and physical well-being when they interact on social media, check out our Social Media Readiness Training for tweens and teens. Our guide prepares your children for safer screen use and prevents psychological illness with our expert emotional wellness tools. Today’s GKIS article shares the story of a young girl negatively affected by beauty filters and tips you can take to help protect your kids from colorism.

What are beauty filters?

Beauty filters are social media features that beautify and erase people’s imperfections and flaws by creating a modified version of themselves. Specific modifications can be anything, but the most popular filters alter the size of facial features, change eye color, and add effects like make-up or long eyelashes.[1]

The Negative Effects of Filters

Low Self-Esteem

Although filters can be fun, they can also be damaging to one’s self-esteem. Research demonstrates that the use of filters can lead to low self-esteem because filter users are more likely to hyper-focus on the features they dislike when using them. This can then lead to frequently comparing one’s real looks with filtered looks, changing our beauty “ideal” and recognizing (even obsessing on) our failure to live up to that ideal. Not being able to accomplish the same look with these filters can make someone feel less than or that they will always be below beauty standards. For others, it may motivate them to find a way to change their appearance to better match the beauty standards set by social media regardless of the risks these changes pose.[2]

The Rise of Colorism

It has been noted by many social media users that beautifying filters usually have a lightening or bleaching effect on the skin. In fact, according to skin color expert Ronald Hall, this effect is not an accident. He explains that it is a way to maintain and conform to historically Eurocentric beauty standards.

Beauty filters are promoting a rise in colorism. Colorism refers to prejudices or discrimination an individual may experience for having a darker skin tone. This phenomenon usually occurs among one’s own ethnic or racial group.[3,4]

A Young Teen Takes Drastic Measures to Change Appearance

Lise, a young teenager, shared her struggles with colorism. Her experience included being bullied for her darker skin tone. The bullying not only came from white girls at school but, to her surprise, also from those who looked similar to her in her same ethnic or racial group.

Seeing pictures of light-skinned women receive lots of likes and positive comments online also confirmed to Lise that she did not meet society’s standards of beauty, bringing her self-esteem down. To try to lighten her skin, Lise began to scrub her mom’s bleaching cream into her skin with a copper wire brush. Even without abrasion injuries, bleaching products can pose health risks.[4]

If you are concerned that your child is suffering from a digital injury like mood and anxiety disorders triggered by compare-and-despair, check out our GKIS Online Safety Red Flags For Parents. With this guide, you’ll learn the behavioral red flags to look out for that may signal your child is suffering from digital injury.

Colorism Affects Minority Communities on a Larger Scale

Colorism is an issue that not only affects self-esteem, but it has also been a problem for minority communities on a larger scale. Dr. Chavarria, CSUCI Assistant Professor of Sociology, explained in our interview that the emergence of colorism, particularly in the Latino society, has been a consequence of conquest and colonization of indigenous communities.

Colonizers constructed these ideas about indigenous communities so they would be perceived as inferior, uncivilized, having no knowledge, and being closer to evil. Whites or being light-skinned, in contrast, have historically been constructed to be perceived as better, good, and even closer to God.

This construction caused the devaluation of indigenous identity features such as brown skin, indigenous language, and ethnic practices leading to the destruction of indigenous communities. Many who managed to survive and succeed in the majority culture often did so by blending in and learning to assimilate. Ethnic roots were lost over generations, and minority communities lost a sense of pride in what they look like. Dr. Chavarria reported that research has demonstrated how individuals that align with beauty standards often get more career opportunities and higher pay.

How to Help Stop Colorism

Start with Family

Colorism needs to be stopped. A first step is addressing how colorism starts within the family. Dr. Chavarria stated that, although colorism often starts with the family, grandparents and parents are often not even aware they are engaging in it. They too have been socialized to believe these ideas about their indigenous roots and characteristics. Therefore, educating family members about what colorism is and how it can cause generational trauma can be the first important step to change.

As a Chicana who has also experienced colorism within my community and family, I recognize that change can be hard. Sometimes I didn’t know how to tell my grandmother that the “advice” she gave me was conforming to Eurocentric standards and colorism, and that it did more damage than help. For example, when family members told me that I should find a light-skinned man with colored eyes so my future children can inherit those features, they seemed to be telling me that, as a brown girl, I did not possess “beautiful” features.

Follow Body-Positive Campaigns

Dr. Chavarria also highly recommends that social media users check out campaigns directed to make positive changes. Cultural Survival on Facebook is a campaign that she tracks. It is an international organization that engages with indigenous communities across the globe. They address important issues like colorism by protecting indigenous women and challenging Eurocentric notions of beauty.

Practice Self-Awareness

If you find yourself contributing to colorism with comments and negative self-appraisals, challenge yourself for positive change.

Speak Out

As you become more self-aware, speak out to friends and post positive pro-beauty messages that demonstrate that beauty comes in many shades and colors. We must consistently challenge historical ideas to break biases and end discrimination. It starts with us, let’s get started!

Thanks to Dr. Chavarria for offering expert insight on colorism and how to prevent it. Thanks also to CSUCI intern Ashley Salazar for researching and co-authoring this article. Colorism is on a high rise due to beauty filters on social media. Check out our GKIS courses to learn to have easier dialogues with your children and protect them from digital injury.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1]Ma, J. (2020) Are Face Filters on Instagram, Snapchat, and TikTok leading to a distorted sense of beauty in society? YP. Are face filters on Instagram, Snapchat and TikTok leading to a distorted sense of beauty in society? – YP | South China Morning Post (scmp.com)

[2] Mac Neil, I. (2021) WATCH — Why beauty filters might be messing with your self-esteem. CBC Kids News.

WATCH — Why beauty filters might be messing with your self-esteem | Video | Kids News (cbc.ca)

[3] Wang, C. (2020) Why do beauty filters make you look whiter? Popular Science.

https://www.popsci.com/story/technology/photo-filters-white-kodak-film/

[4] Ryan Mosley, T. (2021) How digital beauty filters perpetuate colorism. MIT Technology Review. https://www.technologyreview.com/2021/08/15/1031804/digital-beauty-filters-photoshop-photo-editing-colorism-racism/

[5] https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/instagram-face-filters-dysmorphia#:~:text=She%20says%20that%20 she%2C%20 too,no%20imperfections%2C%22%20she%20explains. Have not used might use.

Photo Credits

Photo by Agarwal, Diya. https://www.flickr.com/photos/medicalhealthtips/15946735624/in/photolist-qiabVE-9H6aGv-8Lrnkk-2md9TsF-2md8Nep-5a3eXi-24qG78x-HBuwUe-2kScHdE-tPAvCu-ENxyqW-2krhzMd-2kScb6B-61zsJ-VqpLNQ-kn4YLz-2kS9Knm-w7KHtd-2kSbo8f-2kSboik-2kSgFoJ-2kSgER6-UEKxRF-2kS9KrE-2kSbopC-2kScaKS-2kScaJz-fCjuV-SXbcAJ-9KgCcQ-p57AHY-JNKLtL-tFUtpd-2mcoGCo-uRvgR-5yWPt8-9Am5c5-752fss-5oWrRc-2mcohu5-5szcJ7-2iQK6Lh-VBXddp-XonKAh-a2fEi4-7wuE7x-ouPRzz-f6xVfC-9KdK8r-H4xb4S/lightbox/

Photo by Becerra, Manny. https://unsplash.com/photos/ckXiLvOSieM

Photo by Odunsi, Oladimeji. https://unsplash.com/photos/aU_eOcelLhQ

Photo by Hryshchenko, Volodymyr. https://unsplash.com/photos/WU9dA3C4R28

The FOMO EFFECT: How Fun Friend Posts Can Lead to Clinical Anxiety

October 27, 2018 by Dr. Tracy Bennett

We’ve all been there. Stuck at work, school, or home. We pick up our phones and click on Instagram. There’s BFF Julie on her amazing trip to Japan – 150 likes in 42 minutes. Then check out Twitter. There’s co-worker Andrew’s fun video of an amazing concert at the coolest venue in town. His text post fetched 27 comments. “Wow! That looks so fun!” “I’m so glad I ran into you last night!” “Did you get the pictures I sent you?” You put your phone down and instantly get hit with a wave of sadness. Everybody seems to be having more fun than you. Are you going about life all wrong?

FOMO

FOMO or “fear of missing out” is a form of social anxiety in response to seeing activities streamed on social media. These feelings can blossom into immediate disappointment or long-term feelings of inadequacy. You know you should be happy. You’re ashamed of it. But still … people who experience FOMO the most tend to be extremely active on social media sites like Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook.[1]

Who suffers from FOMO?

Although FOMO adversely affects all ages, recent studies conclude that FOMO is most common among teens. Nearly 60% of teenagers experience anxiety when they become aware of plans being made without them or can’t get ahold of their friends. Another 63% are upset when they have to cancel plans with friends.[2] Among the other age groups, an overwhelming 61% of subjects aged 18-34 state they have more than one social media account, while 27% state they check their Facebook feeds immediately upon awakening.[3]

FOMO Risks

Compulsive social media checking that gets in the way of everyday activities and leads to texting and driving, like “snap and drive” which is careless driving while Snapchatting.
The inability to prioritize important responsibilities over fun social media posting.
Posting shocking activities like binge drinking and drug use.
Spending lots of money to post expensive designer items.[4]
The constant need to feed is a surefire way to develop feelings of inadequacy and anxiety. FOMO makes us feel lonelier, inferior, and less successful.[5]

Reducing FOMO Anxiety

Get real.

A fun post here and there is not reflective of the “perfect” life. Everybody hurts sometimes, even the pretty ones.

Cop to it.

Once you admit to it, it’s easier to control it and create a plan of action to work through it.[6]

Be in the present.

Practice mindfulness techniques like anchoring – attending to your current surroundings, what you see, feel, hear, smell, and your breathing.[7]

Recommit to your nonvirtual life.

Pet that dog you always see on your way to school or work. Stop and smell the flowers. Read a book in the park. Give yourself ample time to finally finish that term paper or work project. Commit to doing one of those today, right now!

Temporarily detox.

If momentary disconnection is a struggle, delete apps off your phone and use psychological wellness app support. Cool detox apps include Moment, Flipd, and Forest. Detox apps offer fun and clever incentives to get off your phone. For instance, Forest incites you to not open social media by illustrating breaks with forest growth and how large and lush and large you can grow your forest.[8]

Seek counseling.

If all else fails, talk it out. Since FOMO is seen as a cognitive distortion, cognitive behavioral therapy has been shown to be highly effective by offering thought-reconstructing tools. In other words, identifying stinking thinking and replacing it with can-do thinking can greatly improve mood and feelings of well-being.[9] Fewer social media posts may mean a fulfilling life is being lived off-camera rather than no life happening at all.

Thank you to Tammy Castaneda for contributing to this GKIS article. Fomo is becoming an increasing problem for kids and adolescents. If your child is still in elementary school, hold off until middle school before you allow their first social media app. If your teen showing problematic behavior, take action. To prevent clinical symptoms related to screen use, check out our GKIS Connected Family Online Course. In 10 easy steps, you can learn how to encourage healthy screen habits and a happier household.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] Barker, E. (2016, June 07). How to Overcome FOMO: Fear of Missing Out. Retrieved September 12, 2018, from http://time.com/4358140/overcome-fomo/

[2]Teens suffer highest rates of FOMO. (n.d.). Retrieved September 14, 2018, from https://www.psychology.org.au/news/media_releases/8Nov2015-fomo/

[3]Murphy, S. (2013, July 09). Report: 56% of Social Media Users Suffer From FOMO. Retrieved September 12, 2018, from https://mashable.com/2013/07/09/fear-of-missing- out/#Rq7CGeSlYiqb

[4]What is FOMO? (And How the Fear of Missing Out Limits Your Personal Success). (2018, July 27). Retrieved September 14, 2018, from https://www.developgoodhabits.com/fear-of-missing-out/

[5]The Fomo Health Factor. (n.d.). Retrieved September 12, 2018, from https://www.psychoogytoday.com/us/blog/media-spotlight/201611/the-fomo-health-factor

[6]Tips to Get Over Your FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out. (n.d.). Retrieved September 16, 2018, from https://adaa.org/learn-from-us/from-the-experts/blog-posts/consumer/tips-get-over- your-fomo-or-fear-missing-out

[7]Guerra, J. (2018, August 24). Science Says Some People Struggle With FOMO More Than Others, So Here’s How To Cope. Retrieved September 18, 2018, from https://www.elitedaily.com/p/how-to-deal-with-fomo-if-youre-someone-whos-easily-affected-by-it-according-to-science-8880093

[8]Forest. (n.d.). Retrieved September 17, 2018, from https://www.forestapp.cc/en/

[9Staff, G. (2016, April 14). Overcoming FOMO: What Fuels Your Fear of Missing Out? Retrieved September 17, 2018, from https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/overcoming-fomo-what-fuels-your-fear-of-missing-out-0418167

Photo Credits

photo by Daria Nepriakhina on Unsplash

Photo by Gaelle Marcel on Unsplash

Photo by Jessica Castro on Unsplash

Photo by Maid Milinkic on Unsplash

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

GetKidsInternetSafe Sheds Light on the Dark Net: Drug Traffickers, Child Pornographers, and Nude Selfies

March 17, 2016 by Dr. Tracy Bennett

Along with being a mother of three and clinical psychologist in private practice for twenty years, I’m adjunct faculty at California State University Channel Islands. This semester I’m teaching the courses Addiction Studies and Parenting. Over the summer I read an incredibly interesting book, The Dark Net by Jamie Bartlett. I was so fascinated by what he had to say, I assigned the book to my class along with a reaction paper. I asked them to identify with and support one extremist position or the other, the techno-optimists or the techno-pessimists. Who would you side with?

What is the dark net and how does it relate to GKIS?

The dark net is a hidden, encrypted overlay Internet network with over 50,000 websites that can only be accessed by the Tor Hidden Services browser. It’s the online underground. To get on the dark net, anybody with Internet can download the free Tor browser. From the Tor browser, your search request gets bounced around via several computers encrypting and decrypting your request as it goes, ultimately making your search untraceable. That means anonymous users can browse and interact with websites that cannot be regulated or censored.

Interestingly, the Tor browser was originally invented in the 1970s by the United States Department of Defense (Advanced Research Projects Agency Network – ARPANET) so they could browse the net without being recognized. The same technology used for national security is the very software being utilized by users of the dark net, the criminals and those using it for social benefit.

As you may suspect, the dark net is populated largely by those who have something to hide. In his book, Jamie Bartlett interviews dark net frequenters, including trolls, pornographers, child pornographers, self harm chatters, political and social movement extremists, and those who participate in black market drug sales (referred to as the Silk Road).

The Silk Road

The Silk Road is an ecommerce site that specializes in the sale of illegal drugs. To shop on the Silk Road, one simply needs to browse for products (marijuana, cocaine, methamphetamine, hallucinogens, heroin, you name it) that are displayed like any ecommerce site, such as Ebay or Amazon, with thousands of products offered by hundreds of vendors. One can see a photo and description of the product, read customer reviews to assure quality, contact the vendor, place an order with your delivery address, and pay with bitcoin, which is cryptocurrency designed to keep your identity secret. Once ordered, your money is held in a secure account until the product is on its way, then it is released to the seller and you’re left to wait for your product to be delivered to your nonvirtual mailbox.

Of course, there is not full safety, privacy, and anonymity on the dark net. The clever encryption makes it very difficult to locate the server for the website…and thus the creator. But there are arrests made from dark net activity. For example, the founder of the first Silk Road website, 31 year-old Ross Ulbricht, was sentenced to life in federal prison in May, 2015. The federal judge was quoted to say, “What you did with Silk Road was terribly destructive to our social fabric.” Silk Road cashed in over a billion dollars in sales between 2011 and 2013. Destructive indeed. However, even in the high profile case of Silk Road 1 being taken down by the FBI; within a month, the Silk Road 2 site popped up on its place. And the illicit online drug trade was reborn.

Perhaps what is most concerning for GetKidsInternetSafe (GKIS) is the large number of child pornography images available on the dark net. GKIS prefers the term online child sexual abuse to child pornography. However, one of the big problems identified by Jamie Bartlett is that up to one-third of child pornography images are self-produced. This means that children and teens, sometimes coerced, take and share their own partially nude and nude photos. As a result, eradication of these images becomes nearly impossible.

Why in the world would a child or teen publish their own photos and interact online with strangers?

In order to understand a child’s motives, one must consider what tweens and teens are trying to accomplish socially at this developmental stage. They are trying to form their self identity independent from their family of origin. They are trying to create their “brand.” And what models do they have for branding? Nude selfies experts like Kim Kardassian. No only are they mimicking their favorite Internet celebrities, but they’re also trying to build their confidence and street cred among their peers.

Just like trolls on the Internet, teens practice thickening their skin by boldly brushing up against risk. What is too scary to do in real life is more possible in virtual life. The harmless end of the spectrum for online skin thickening is talking smack to same-age friends (e.g., cyberbullying on Twitter) and the dangerous end of the spectrum is engaging with an adult stranger on the Internet (e.g., opening oneself up to grooming by an online predator).

Scary right? Yes! The truth is, telling your tween a scary story isn’t enough to stop them from experimenting with their social power and sexuality online. They will engage in conversation with an online “creeper” as a kind of dare. The kids think they’re in control and enjoy the banter . . . until they get titillated or start to trust the guy and ultimately lose control. That’s when it gets dangerous. Because in the chess game of pedophilia, creepers are well practiced and use extremely sophisticated grooming methods to manipulate children. Overly confident teens with immature prefrontal brain regions (the seat of problem solving and judgment) are easy pickings for sinister adults.

I recently saw a disturbing playing out of this very dynamic when I was investigating the new video streaming social media app, Periscope. A very popular stream with lots of floating hearts revealed what looked like a 12 year-old girl playing truth or dare with a hoard of flirting anonymous strangers. She had the demeanor of a hardened flirt, but her vulnerability was dangerously evident. Talking to men who were daring her to take off her clothes soon revealed she was in way over her head. But not only did she not realize she was in peril, she was becoming more and more determined to demonstrate she could handle it. As a mother and psychologist, it was distressing in the least. And yet it is playing out everyday, all the time. Parents are the last to know.

What can parents do to keep their kids off the dark net and from self-promoting sexualized images?

I’m sorry to say there is no magic shortcut to this question. The GKIS short answer is, you have to parent.

Not only must you stage your home appropriately with a good monitoring and filtering techkit and techniques like I offer in the GKIS Connected Family Online Course, but you also must teach your kids good judgment and digital skills. One scary story won’t get the job done. Skill building is a gradual process that takes root from a strong parent-child alliance. That powerful connection can only occur with quality, fun family time and engaging, informed conversation.

Start your digital parenting with deliberate restriction of content (e.g., no social media apps in elementary school). As your child gains experience and judgment, slowly loosen up and allow more digital freedoms, with tech monitoring and frequent check-in discussions. Avoid dishonest spying that can lead to a hurtful ambush that will blow your credibility. If you’re straight with them that you will check their online content, they’ll post with better judgment and accountability from the beginning. Ongoing digital conversations not only offer bi-directional teaching opportunities between kids and parents, but it also builds a cooperative relationship and teaches family values.

Consistent with my article last year Hey Dad, Your Twelve Year-Old Daughter Has a Nude Out, Jim McDonnell the Sherriff of Los Angeles County recently penned an open letter to parents cautioning them about the perils of self-published nude selfies and human trafficking. Check out my NBCLA interview for details.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetYourKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

I Want to Be Hot When I Grow Up

December 13, 2015 by Dr. Tracy Bennett

The other day my little eight year-old childcare client looked at me with a frown on her face and said, “I’m fat and my friends and the people on TV are skinny.” I was so upset. I don’t think cute little kids like Lily should worry about the way they look. When I was Lily’s age my only goal was to eat chips and play soccer. As a child of the 90’s, I wasn’t concerned about body image like kids are today. I suspect easily accessible screen media is a primary contributor to body shame, with its almost constant barrage of carefully staged ads and social media selfies.

Sexualized images are often staged so the model’s body looks like an object or a commodity. Psychologists call this objectification. Multiple exposures to objectified bodies can hardwire a child to emulate this ideal. Imagery like the “uncovering of Kim Kardashian” or Dwayne Johnson’s six-pack seems to be everywhere. And by “imagery” I’m referring to perfectly made up, tucked, lit, and digitally enhanced images. Sometimes images in ads are even made up of body parts from several different models! How can non-virtual people possibly compete with that?

Kids and access to media

From my work as a camp counselor, I’ve observed that young kids have ample access to screen media. Between the United States and Western Europe it is estimated that 65.3 million children have access to the Internet at home (Bennett, 2006). It is not unusual to see my young clients tracking their favorite celebrity idols online and through social media.

For example, Lily loves the pop idol, Taylor Swift. She delights in frequent discussions about how Taylor is so beautiful and skinny. And I can’t blame her. The truth is, most of us glamorize beauty over talent. I am not saying that Taylor is not talented, but would she be in the eye of the media if she looked more like the heavier award-winning singer, Adele? I believe that Adele is just as talented and beautiful as Taylor, but Taylor has an image most Americans idealize, a skinny blond.

Recently I tried a little experiment with Lily. I played a song by Adele and a song by Taylor. Without telling her whom the vocalists were, I told her to pick her favorite song. Not surprisingly, she chose Adele’s song. Then I showed her photographs of the singers. Immediately Lily changed her mind, elaborating, “Taylor is so perfect and I love her so much.” Not surprisingly, Lily’s opinion was clearly swayed by Taylor’s looks.

How often are our opinions based on image rather than substance?

Most of us dread the day we wake up and realize we are turning into our parents. Parents are typically more influential role models than pop stars. Kids have frequent access and look for comfort from their parents. As a result kids are particularly responsive to their parents’ influence, because they need them to survive. Kids are biologically programmed to imitate parents.

Sadly for kids, parents are not perfect people. It is not uncommon for parents to complain about their bodies in front of their kids. Remember that advertisement with the hot model that said, “If you want to look like this, you need <this product>!” Do you remember how it made you feel? Did you compare yourself to the model? Perhaps feel a touch of shame? Perhaps those feelings led you to say, “Do I look fat in this?” Or maybe you made a disparaging commented about your least favorite body part. Just as parents feel shame from media objectification, they also pass these feelings and perceptions on to their children.

During camp, I also met eight year-old Angela. Angela’s mom recently had breast enhancement surgery. One day Angela showed me a picture of her mom before the surgery. She said, “My mom doesn’t look like this anymore, because she went to the hospital.” Then I asked her what she thought about her mom’s new look. She replied, “One day I want to go to a hospital and be as pretty as her.” Again, I was upset for little Angela. I understand the impulse of wanting to improve your looks with cosmetic surgery, but what impact did this have on Angela’s perception of her body? Based on her comments, she was already forming a perception of before and after beauty, with her natural childhoos beauty as the lesser-than “before” version.

It’s not just girls that are negatively affected by sexualized objectification, boys can feel body same too. Recently I have been gaining muscle due to my fitness regimine. Recently I was hanging out at home when I noticed that my little brother was secretly working out in his room. When I asked what he was doing, he replied “I’m building muscles like you!” He even asked if he could come to the gym with me. Although I’ll admit I was a little bit flattered, I was also worried. Like Lily, I think it is healthier for him to focus on the process of exercise and how it makes him feel rather than worry about building muscle.

When do children start to feel body shame?

From what I have observed with younger kids, I believe that kids start feeling shame as soon as they have self-awareness. According to the research of Brownell, Zerwas, & Ramani (2007), body self-awareness emerges as a child nears three years old. As media images bombard us at higher and higher rates, starting younger and younger, we become more susceptible to emotional harm from social comparison.

Tips To Help Our Kids Get Safe From Media Shame

Filter screen content and limit the frequency of screen use with Dr. Bennett’s GetKidsInternetSafe techniques.

Introduce your children to healthy role models who make an impact with thought and action rather than a sexy selfie. Talk to them about important historical figures like Nelson Mandela, Albert Einstein, or Thomas Edison. Just doing the research for positive mentors can be cool bonding learning experience.

If you are making cosmetic changes to your appearance, take the time to discuss it with your kids using the appropriate discretion for their stage of development.

Avoid demeaning jokes and comments toward your kids, such as calling them “chubby” or pinching cheeks.

Stop making critical remarks about yourself in front of them. Teach them to love themselves by modeling self-confidence and self-nurturance.

Most importantly, show them that you love them for being their unique themselves. A child’s worth is reflected in who they are, not what they look like.

Remember, “SHAME IS LAME.”

Because you are an extraordinary parent, you won’t want to miss, “What Parents Need to Cover About Kim Kardashian’s Un-covering.” And please do me a favor, scroll down and leave a comment about what you think about your body, the media, and how you communicate self-worth and nurturance to your children.

Congratulations and thank you to Cristian Garcia, CSUCI intern, for authoring this awesome GKIS article!