Three billion people use social media globally. We use it to stay in touch with friends and family, share memorable moments in our lives, and entertain ourselves during our leisure time. Although social media has its benefits, it also has its negative effects. Much of the outcome depends on the characteristics of the user. One characteristic that impacts social media use is the user’s attachment style. In today’s GKIS article, you will learn what attachment style is, how a child’s attachment style may impact the way they use social media, and strategies to improve your family relationships and create healthier attachments.
Social Media Readiness
In the article “Do Kids Need Driver’s Training … for the Internet?” Dr. Bennett asks, “Does driving city streets have anything in common with browsing the internet?” She argues it does, stating that “ Like driving a car, browsing the internet can cause significant injury. But instead of a concussion, we see kids succumbing to anxiety, depression, and body image problems linked to cyberbullying, radicalization, and compare-and-despair. Also, like driving, kids browsing the internet can wander into any kind of digital neighborhood making friends from faraway places. Most of the places they visit are cool, with fun friends, creativity, and harmless excitement. But there are also digital neighborhoods that would horrify us. Dangerous people like predators and traffickers may be common there and so is intensely violent and explicit sexual content.” With over 25 years of helping kids and families navigate difficult situations resulting from screen use, she created an online course for tweens and teens called the GKIS Social Media Readiness Course.
Dr. B argues that kids need specific knowledge and problem-solving strategies to recognize red flags online, as well as psychological wellness tools to bolster mental health and overall resilience. Not only does our course teach kids what they need to know for online safety, but parents need knowledge too along with an ongoing cooperative dialogue with their kids about online issues. Creating this dialogue has a lot to do with healthy attachment.
Attachment
The father of attachment theory is John Bowlby, a British psychoanalyst who was interested in studying the intense distress that infants demonstrate when they are separated from their parents. Other attachment researchers went on to create theories and testing measurements, like the Strange Situation paradigm created by Mary Ainsworth.
Strange Situation
To test a child’s “attachment style,” researchers created a child separation situation in the psychology lab. For the Strange Situation method, researchers put a mother and toddler child alone in a room. The room was filled with toys and plenty of eye-catching items for the child. After some time of playing, a stranger enters the room and attempts to interact with the child. The mom is instructed to then leave the room. After a few minutes, she returns and comforts her child. A few minutes later the stranger returns and interacts with the child again. Then the mother comes back and greets her child.[2]
The Strange Situation was designed to present children with an uncommon, but not too overwhelming, experience. The child’s response was then coded and classified to fit in one of four attachment styles.
Attachment Styles
Attachment styles are academic descriptors of how an individual relates to other people. An attachment style is formed at an early age, and once established it stays with you.
Children with secure attachment styles have healthier relationships overall. Kids with avoidant, anxious, or disorganized attachment styles tend to form poor quality family and peer interactions. They have trouble maintaining healthy, mutually beneficial friendships because they’re often anxious or dependent.
The Four Types of Attachment Styles
SecureAttachment
Secure attachment is characterized by a stable sense of security and comfort to be out and about knowing that their caregiver will be there when needed. Caregivers of securely attached children are typically available, sensitive, and protective of the child. They use authoritative (warm and consistent) parenting strategies rather than being overly strict (authoritarian) or indulgent (permissive).
Avoidant Attachment
Avoidant attachment is characterized by a child who avoids interaction with the caregiver and shows no distress during separation. Caregivers of an avoidant attached child typically don’t acknowledge a distressed child, instead of shaming the child for showing emotions and having unrealistic expectations. These caregivers often don’t validate the child. Emotional validation is the process of encouraging emotional expression and offering warm acceptance and nurturance. Validating a child’s emotion is a critical element to teaching children socio-emotional intelligence and self-soothing.
Anxious Attachment
Anxious attachment is characterized by a child who fears abandonment and doesn’t interact with strangers. Kids with anxious attachment tend to be clingy and insecure. Caregivers of anxiously attached children are often overly protective or insensitive. They can be available at one moment, then unavailable, which can leave the child confused.
Disorganized Attachment
Disorganized attachment is characterized by a child who, when their caregiver unexpectedly leaves the room, will respond with a confused expression, freezing, and demonstrating unorganized behavior. Caregivers in this situation are inconsistent. More specifically, they may demonstrate kindness and care to their child sometimes and other times ignore their needs or get angry. Parents who send these types of mixed signals are often impaired due to mental illness, addiction, or severe overwhelm.
What does social media have to do with attachment?
Social media has become a new form for people to receive validation and support from others, especially for those who are building identities like tweens and teens. In a study by Stöven and Herzberg, researchers reviewed 17 studies on attachment styles and social media use. They found that people with higher levels of abandonment anxiety tend to overuse social media as a way to feel like they belong.[1] The subjects were more likely to seek support and attention from people online to feel good. Social media was a way for them to seek reassurance and feel like people liked them.
How is an over-reliance on social media for identity a problem?
A constant need for reassurance can cause undesired results, such as
trouble making decisions because the subject is too concerned about what others think.
anxiety or depressive symptoms when the subject does not get the response they hope for.
the subject having an “internal debate” with themselves with questions like, “what if?”
Ways to Improve Your Child’s Attachment and Make Them Healthier Adults
Be sensitive and compassionate. Children need nurturing warmth during their early years to identify the emotion, learn how to express it, and build the confidence to self-soothe on their own.
Respond calmly to your child. Modeling self-soothing is an awesome way to teach socio-emotional skill-building. Plus, it serves to clear the way for logical problem-solving rather than escalating an already stressful situation.
Get involved. Just as you would supervise and monitor your child’s exploration of city neighborhoods, you must do the same with digital neighborhoods. That means setting rules and expectations like those detailed in our Connected Family Courseand setting up parental controls using the resources (and discounts) offered in our Screen Safety Toolkit.
If you’d like all GKIS course materials delivered in an inexpensive, convenient, easy-to-follow drip on your smartphone, check out Dr. Bennett’s weekly parent and family coaching videos in the GetKidsInternetSafe App!
Thanks to CSUCI intern, Maira Soto for researching social media and attachment styles for this article.
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
Gaming has been a popular topic for GetKidsInternetSafe because it is the favorite past time for many children. We have covered a variety of gaming topics which include the brain traps of gaming, violent video games, professional gaming, and even if we should gamify education. Games have developed so much in the past 25 years and the graphics, concepts, and design continue to improve. One of the big concerns about children’s gaming is addiction and distraction from academics. When done right though, gaming can be a valuable supplement for well-rounded education.
What is Intelligence
Intelligence is a highly debated term because traditionally it involved biased measures of cognitive ability. However, over fifty years of scientific research has demonstrated that intelligence cannot fit as neatly into a box.
American psychologist Robert Sternberg suggested the Triarchic Theory which states that there are three types of intelligence: analytical, creative, and practical. Taking it a step further, developmental psychologist Howard Gardner proposed that there are eight different types of intelligence: linguistic, logical-mathematical, spatial, musical, bodily-kinesthetic, naturalist, interpersonal, and intrapersonal.[1]
The most widely used intelligence theory in Western culture, is centered around skills in math, memory, verbal comprehension, and visual-spatial reasoning.[2] Simply put, theories of intelligence center on one’s ability to eclectically conceptualize and utilize information.
Games That Surprisingly Affect Intelligence
Most games require specialty skills for success. Popular games can be incredibly complex and require high intelligence to engage successfully. Adults don’t typically consider that playing Overwatch, Roblox, or Minecraft is a learning opportunity. As a player myself, I disagree. In my experience, it is evident that my fellow players excel at things like reaction time, creativity, and spatial awareness.
When I was in my mid-teens, I was an avid gamer. I played many games, but Minecraft was my favorite. What peaked my interest were the parallels with real life and the possibilities for creation were endless. Knowledge needed for the game helped me in real life by enriching my vocabulary, excelling my reaction time, and nurturing my creativity. My spatial awareness was also boosted due to understanding the means of measurement in Minecraft (each block was a square meter). Using those as reference, I had a better gist of measurement in comparison to my 6-meter-tall character. I even began to conceptualize fundamentals of construction and physics when I would set up mob traps to capitalize off the loot they dropped.
After my Minecraft phase, I moved onto Lumosity and my eyes opened to how impactful games could be. Lumosity is an educational gaming app that has minigames specially designed to challenge a variety of our cognitive abilities.
Many great new app developers seek to make fun educational games. Edutainment is refers to media designed to educate and entertain.[3] Many edutainment activities are developed by education specialists and cognitive scientists. Commonly targeted abilities are in the area of executive functioning, working memory, self-control, and mental flexibility.
A study by Jocelyn Parong and colleagues from the University of California, Santa Barbara researched the effects of games on cognition. They put students in two groups. The first group played Alien Game for four hours. The second group played an updated version of the game called All You Can ET. After the two groups played, an improvement in mental flexibility was found.[4] Their findings replicated those of a previous study that also studied cognition and gaming.
Further, a 2016 study by Viviane Kovess-Masfety and colleagues analyzed data from over 3,000 children. Upon gathering information from the children’s teachers on how they were in the classroom, Kovess-Masfety and colleagues found that children categorized as “high use” gamers had slightly higher reported intellectual functioning. Most of the high-use gamers reported approximately seven to ten hours of gaming per week.[5]
GKIS-Recommended Intelligence Games
Games that are designed specifically to improve intelligence are still relatively new. Research has been mixed but shows promising results for improvement. Gaming can be a practical approach to keep ones intelligence sharp and have fun! Here are some intelligence games GKIS recommends as promising:
Lumosity
Lumosity is a popular “brain training” app for mobile devices and computers that provide entertaining mini games that focus on an individual skill. The free version selects three mini-games for you to play from their bank of over 40 mini-games. With the premium version, you get access to in-depth statistics and can choose among all their available games.
Lumosity games may help with skills ranging from attention, memory, problem-solving, subitizing, language, and mental flexibility. This is great for tweens and teens.
Words with Friends
Words with Friends is a fun puzzle game—similar to Scrabble—that can expand your vocabulary and think creatively. You can play alone, challenge game bots, or play with friends.
Khan Academy Kids
Khan Academy Kids is a free educational game geared towards children. There is an assortment of games that help with language, reading, math, attention, memory, and problem-solving. An added benefit of these games is that they also help with emotional development, motor functions, and creativity.
Kiddopia
Kiddopia is an app focused on teaching kids a variety of skills and general knowledge. Kiddopia games are incredibly diverse, including school topics like learning numbers, basic arithmetic, language, and problem-solving. This app also has entertaining games that cover geography, human anatomy, animal care, and even careers!
[1]Shearer, C. B. (2020). A resting state functional connectivity analysis of human intelligence: Broad theoretical and practical implications for multiple intelligences theory. Psychology & Neuroscience, 13(2), 127–148. https://doi-org.summit.csuci.edu/10.1037/pne0000200.supp
[4]Parong, J., Wells, A., & Mayer, R. E. (2020). Replicated evidence towards a cognitive theory of game-based training. Journal of Educational Psychology, 112(5), 922–937. https://doi-org.summit.csuci.edu/10.1037/edu0000413
[5]Kovess-Masfety, V., Keyes, K., Hamilton, A., Hanson, G., Bitfoi, A., Golitz, D., Koç, C., Kuijpers, R., Lesinskiene, S., Mihova, Z., Otten, R., Fermanian, C., & Pez, O. (2016). Is time spent playing video games associated with mental health, cognitive and social skills in young children? Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology: The International Journal for Research in Social and Genetic Epidemiology and Mental Health Services, 51(3), 349–357. https://doi-org.summit.csuci.edu/10.1007/s00127-016-1179-6
Feeling unproductive, unmotivated, and notice that you are wasting countless hours scrolling through social media? A social media cleanse may be a great decision to improve your well-being. In this week’s GKIS article, we will provide a step-by-step guide to putting down your phone and getting that much-needed break your mental health deserves. To help your tween or teen demonstrate they have the knowledge, problem solving ability, and judgment for social media, check out our Social Media Readiness Course. It’s an online course for tweens and teens that offers information about the risks of digital injury due to social media and psychological wellness tools. With a quiz for each module, they work their way through independently so their graduation certification demonstrates mastery of content. Of course, you can take it too if you’d like. It’s like driver’s training but for the internet!
According to pewresearch.org, 70% of Americans use social media.[1] For adults, the most popular social media platforms include YouTube (73%) and Facebook (68%). In contrast, 63% of teens use Instagram, making it the most popular social media platform amongst young users ages 15-25.[2]
According to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 90% of teens have used social media and teens spend an average of nine hours a day on social media.[3] Participants of a research study conducted by the Pew Research Center found that 74% of Facebook users visit Facebook daily. People of varying ages spend a lot of time on social media.
We use social media to view funny memes, stay connected to friends and family, meet new people, share opinions and information, show off passions and creative pursuits, advertise businesses, and even get news. Most of us find it extremely rewarding and feel we’ve got it under control. But for others, social media can negatively impact mental health.
Risks of Social Media Use
I’m a millennial who’s been using social media for 10 years. I’ve experienced a wide range of negative effects due to my social media use, including feelings of insecurity and not being good enough, anxiety, and the big one, fear of missing out (FOMO).
For years, I followed my friends’ and Instagram influencers’ profiles and wondered why I wasn’t as happy as them or why I couldn’t travel the world and have a life of fun and excitement. I often compared myself to others on social media and it hurt my mental health. In her book, Screen Time in the Mean Time, Dr. Bennett calls that “compare and despair” and believes it is a common contributor to teen anxiety and depression.
Social media can be a toxic place, especially during these unprecedented times. It’s too easy to spend hours on Google trying to figure out if you have COVID-19 and spend another 45 minutes scrolling through Facebook comments of people arguing over politics. Feelings are high and extreme opinions are rampant. According to helpguide.org, social risks include increased feelings of isolation, depression, anxiety, and insecurity.[4]
The Benefits of a Social Media Cleanse
To get away from negativity, a social media cleanse may be the answer. The benefits of a social media detox include:
More free time for other things, like research about a favorite topic
To research this article, I deleted all of my social media apps including my all-time favorite, Instagram, about a month ago. I was concerned that I was averaging too much screen time (6 hours a day), and I wanted to be more productive and connect more with my boyfriend and family.
My first week of being social media free was by far the hardest. But it became much easier after that. I often felt the urge to redownload my Instagram app, but for the most part I have been able to stay away.
The benefits of staying offline have really paid off for me. Almost immediately, I felt it was easier to fall asleep at night (since I was not on Instagram or TikTok late). I’ve also felt a reduction in stress, anxiety, and anger. Now I don’t feel the need to check my friend’s social media just to see what they’re doing all the time. Instead, I reach out directly to friends to reconnect.
I worried that if I deleted my social media accounts, I would feel more disconnected from my friends. But instead, I’ve kept in touch with them more than before my social media cleanse. Relationships and connections are important to me, and I’m glad that I’ve been able to connect in a more meaningful and sincere way. Overall, I’m happy with the results. I feel more mindful and present in my everyday life, my sleep has improved, I’ve experienced less stress and anxiety, and I have more free time to get work done and spend time reconnecting with the people I love.
Do You Need a Social Media Break?
Here are some red flags that may signal that you are ready for a social media cleanse:
You spend most of your free time on social media.
You feel like you need to share or post often.
You find it hard to focus on schoolwork or other life responsibilities.
You feel an increase in anxiety and stress after spending time on social media.
You feel more lonely, unmotivated, and less creative.
You are experiencing feelings of low self-esteem or low self-confidence.
You feel anxious without your phone.
You feel guilty or ashamed about the amount of time spent on social media.
How to Get Started
There are many ways to jump-start your social media cleanse. You can stop your phone use cold turkey, or you can delete one or two apps at a time. You can also cut down your friend list to only those you have a close, personal relationship with to cut out the less meaningful posts. Find whatever works best for you.
Here are some tips for getting started:
Deactivate or delete your social media accounts.
Delete social media apps from your phone.
Connect with family and friends in alternative ways.
Set a time limit on your phone to cut back on overall phone use.
Check your daily Screen Use and make adjustments if needed.
Set a specific “phone bedtime” before your actual bedtime (At least 3o minutes before you go to bed is recommended).
Make your bedroom a phone-free zone.
Turn your phone on “Night Mode” to decrease blue light emissions.[6]
Most importantly, remind yourself why you decided to go on a cleanse in the first place. And remember, your cleanse doesn’t have to be a permanent decision, you can always go back.
Enriching Activities to Reconnect Offline
There are endless possibilities for new enriching activities. You can practice meditation, pick up a new skill, or do that thing you’ve been meaning to do. Here are some fun ideas to reconnect with your loved ones:
Family game night
Family movie night
Cook a family dinner. Make it exciting by trying a new recipe or cooking an old family favorite.
Have a family yoga or workout session.
Practice meditation and deep breathing (alone or with family).
Using this extra time to reconnect and spend valuable time with your family is great, but it’s also important to spend time hanging out with yourself. Start by catching up on your sleep, creating a playlist, or reading a favorite book. Don’t feel pressured to constantly look for something to keep you busy unless that’s what you want to do. This is a well-deserved break. Do whatever you want with it and enjoy!
If you’re interested in learning more helpful tips about parenting in the digital age, check out the GKIS Connected Family Course. The GKIS Connected Family Course is family-tested and outcome-based and helps you close screen risk gaps and improve family cooperation and closeness.
Thanks to CSUCI intern, Remi Ali Khan for researching social media cleanses for this article.
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
In 2014, the Founder of GetKidsInternetSafe Dr. Tracy Bennett wrote an article on artificial intelligence (AI) facial recognition and the potential dangers associated with such technology. Fast-forward 6 years to 2020 and many of her predictions have proven true plus more than could have been anticipated. AI facial recognition has boomed to an extent that many companies are using our social media data to increase profits. Big tech is willing to do to capitalize on us, even if it is not in our best interest. For a glimpse into the scary future possibilities of privacy invasion and trampling on our civil rights, check out what’s happening in China in today’s GKIS article.
Artificial intelligence (AI) facial recognition has come a long way in the past few years especially since engineers have been using artificial neural networks. These neural networks are similar to an actual human brain. They consist of a connection of nodes called artificial neurons and can transmit a signal to other nodes. Once a node receives a signal, it can process the signal and relay the information to the other nodes connected to it. When it comes to neural networks, a person can input any type of information. In face recognition technology, an image of the face is entered. AI marks each feature as a nodal point, collecting more data with each image.
Facebook uses neural networks and processes over 350 million new pictures daily. Amazon also has a service called recognition where customers can pay to acquire Clearview AI is a controversial service that many in Silicon Valley have opposed due to implications on privacy. Clearview AI searches social media platforms and has acquired over 3 billion pictures in their inventory. When someone searching Clearview gets a match, they get data AND a link to the social media accounts where the facial data was acquired. Many have concerns that this takes the privacy breach a step further.
Beneficial Ways Facial Intelligence is Being Used
AI has led to the recovery of many missing children that have been sex trafficked or sexually exploited.
Taylor Swift’s security team used facial recognition at her concerts to see if any of her stalkers were in the audience.
Law enforcement uses AI to identify people that cannot identify themselves, like people with severe mental illnesses, people high on drugs, or people that are refusing to identify themselves. With a three-minute turnaround time, law enforcement is saving a ton of money and time so they can focus on other crimes.
Controversial Ways Facial Intelligence is Being Used
A man seen stealing beer at a CVS in New York City looked a lot like Woody Harrelson. The police entered a picture of Woody Harrelson into facial recognition technology and found a match. Although police were able to locate and apprehend the suspect, this technology could implicate the wrong person with similar facial geometry.
People of color are more likely to be misidentified due to AI facial recognition not being as good at differentiating people with darker skin.
The government could enable continued surveillance of certain individuals like they are doing in China. China uses facial recognition to follow Uighurs, a largely Muslim minority, as well as monitor all Chinese citizens using a social credit score.
Dystopian Surveillance
AI advancements worry people due to fear of one day living in a dystopian surveillance taped society. Having this type of society would mean that all citizens would be tracked, and privacy would cease to exist. One might think that with the civil rights protections in the United States we are not at risk. I wonder if Chinese citizens have concerns…
China has more AI facial recognition CCTV cameras than any other country in the world and is a prime example of dystopian surveillance. The Chinese government claims to use AI to lower crime and increase prosocial behavior using a social credit system by a company called Sesame Credit. They contend that this system encourages citizens to behave in a socially appropriate manner and if someone is a good citizen, then they have nothing to hide and the cameras should not be a concern.
Specifically, using Sesame Credit in China, if a Chinese citizen is caught on camera doing anything that is not considered “socially appropriate” like jaywalking, littering, smoking, or buying too much alcohol or too many video games, their social credit score will decrease. A low social credit score may result in the inability to purchase airline or train tickets or book at certain hotels, or they may be barred from certain schools and jobs. Citizens can also have their dog taken away if it isn’t walked on a leash or is a public disturbance. It is also mandatory for blacklisted citizens to register to a public blacklist which typically results in social stigmatization. Parent scores can affect other family members, like preventing kids from being accepted to private schools. Public shaming is a big part of the social credit system. Pictures of blacklisted and low scoring citizens are shown on TikTok, pictures and videos with names play on public LED screens, and addresses are shown on a map on WeChat.
People with good social credit scores appreciate the system since they get rewarded. Perks consist of discounts on hotels, entertainment, and energy bills and one can rent bikes without a deposit. High scorers also get into better schools and get access to better jobs. Users on dating apps are required to put in their social credit score; good scores get more dates.
Ways Citizens Can Raise Their Scores
Donating to college funds for poor students
Caring for elderly or disabled people
Repaying a loan even if the bank canceled it
How the United States is Implementing Social Credit
The U.S. has not implemented AI as comprehensively as China. However, it is used in some industries. For example, life insurance companies in New York are allowed to look at a person’s public social media account to see if they are engaging in risky behavior. They base a person’s premium on what they find. In fact, a 2020 survey found that 98% of professionals do a background check on new hires and 79% disqualified a job candidate due to unfavorable social media content.
There is also a company called PatronScan which was designed to help restaurants and bars manage customers. It can help spot fake IDs and troublemakers by scanning an ID upon entry. A public list is shown for all PatronScan customers. The problem is that judgment about what constitutes a “troublemaker” is subjected and may result in an unfair listing without the owner’s consent.
Rideshares like Uber and Lyft have reviews for both drivers and riders that may result in a customer being refused a ride. Airbnb also works by reviewing both hosts and renters. Many hosts refuse to rent to certain people based on their past reviews, and many hosts may not be booked based on renter reviews.
China is a prime example of the dangers of AI facial recognition and how it can affect our privacy and freedoms. There is not yet much legislation preventing AI from being used in the United States and there’s a need to push for it. Like the frog in the pot, people adapt so willingly to advancing technology that it’s difficult to recognize possible consequences.
For information and safety tips about how to keep you and your family safe, we highly recommend Dr. B’s Cybersecurity and Red Flags supplement. In an age where technology is advancing at such a fast rate, it is important to keep you and your family informed on current technological risks and how to prevent them.
Thank you to CSUCI intern Andres Thunstrom for co-authoring this article.
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
Meeting people online can be fun and exciting, especially for teens. However, there are risks. If you want to prepare your child for these risks, check out the GKIS Social Media Readiness Course. You may have heard of popular adult dating apps likeTinder or Bumble. In this GKIS article, we cover 5 dating apps that are popularly used by teens that you probably have never heard of.
Yubo
Yubo is a location-based social networking app advertised for making new friends, but many people describe it as a dating app for teens.
This app contains many features such as:
Stream: share live stream videos with friends.
Chat: chat with friends and other app users.
Swipe: discover new friends nearby or around the world.
Find a community: connect with people who have the same interests by finding a community. The online communities range from art and sports to LGBTQ+.
Play: play games with friends like Q&A, Would You Rather and Let Them Guess.
Yubo’s age rating is 17+, but there is no age verification for this app, meaning any teen can use it and lie about their birthday.
Teendr
Teendr is marketed as a dating app for teens. On this app, users can meet and chat with new friends nearby based on their common interests like music, games, and more.
This app contains:
Unlimited swipe: swipe right to meet new people or left to ignore.
Search nearby: discover matches based on location.
Game & music sharing: meet people based on their gaming and music preferences, which they can share on the app.
Teendr is also rated 17+, with no age verification.
Spotafriend
Spotafriend is an app designed for teens to meet new people in their proximity. On the app store, it is described as “not a teen dating app,” but that’s what many teens are using it for.
Spotafriend includes:
Swipe: swipe right to become friends with someone.
Chat: chat privately when you get a match.
Spotafriend is rated 17+, but it is designed for ages 13-19.
The Game by Hot or Not
The Game by Hot or Not is another app that allows teens to meet people in their area. It is marketed as an app to find the ‘hottest’ people nearby.
This app includes:
Ratings: rate each other’s attractiveness by tapping a heart on your profiles.
Direct messages: Users who match (by liking each other’s profiles) can exchange messages.
Location services: find people in your proximity.
Age: Hot or Not was originally rated 17+, but is now 18+ with no age verification.
Skout
Skout is a social networking app that allows its users to meet people nearby or around the world.
The app features:
Preference and location: connect with people based on preferences and proximity.
Live broadcasting: broadcast live videos on the app and watch other’s videos.
Chat and upload photos: send direct messages, share photos, and like/comment on other users’ photos.
Promote: Skout claims to have in-app features that increase your chances of finding new people and chatting.
Skout is rated 17+, but only people 18+ are allowed to join. Again, there is no age verification.
Meeting and flirting with people online can be exciting and fun, but it can also come with risks.
Catfishing and Online Grooming
Not everyone on the internet is who they say they are. Some people make fake profiles to deceive other users, which is called catfishing. On dating apps and social media, your teen can get exposed to sexual predators who use catfishing and grooming techniques to gain their trust.
Sexting
Oftentimes, teens exchange their phone numbers and Snapchat usernames when they connect with others online. This can easily lead to sending sexual messages and photos. According to Guardchild:
20% of teens have sent or posted semi-nude photos or videos of themselves
39% of teens have sent sexually suggestive messages online
Sexting is common among teens which can be scary if their photos end up in the wrong hands and are shared publicly. This can lead to bullying, blackmailing, and emotional distress for the victim. For more information about sexting, check out the GKIS article, How Texting Can Turn To Sexting in the Blink of an Eye.
Cyberbullying and Harassment
Using dating apps and social media increases the likelihood of your teen experiencing cyberbullying and online harassment. Your teen might experience hateful comments, stalkers, and receive unwanted sexual messages.
Click here to read a GKIS survivor’s story about teen bullying and sexual abuse.
If you see your teen using dating apps…
Don’t panic. Most likely, many of your teen’s peers are also using the same apps.
Have an open discussion about the risks of dating or social networking apps.
Teach them to turn off location services for apps to disable people from seeing where they are.
Encourage them to approach you if anything makes them feel uncomfortable online.
Remember that it’s okay to say no, especially if they are too young to have an account.
Betts, J. (n.d.). Teen Dating Apps. Retrieved December 03, 2020, from https://teens.lovetoknow.com/relationships/teen-dating-apps
Online Dating – The Risks For Teens. (n.d.). Retrieved December 03, 2020, from https://www.internetmatters.org/resources/teens-and-online-dating-advice-hub-for-parents/online-dating-the-risks-for-teens/
Online Dating Is Especially Risky For Teens. (2020, September 17). Retrieved December 03, 2020, from https://yourteenmag.com/social-life/tips-teen-dating/online-teen-dating
Team, F. (n.d.). Swipe right for trouble: Six teen dating apps parents need to know about. Retrieved December 03, 2020, from https://www.familyzone.com/anz/families/blog/six-teen-dating-apps-parents-need-to-know
Teenage Sexting Statistics. (n.d.). Retrieved December 03, 2020, from https://www.guardchild.com/teenage-sexting-statistics/
Updated: November 8, 2., Kelli Dugan, C., Bob D’Angelo, C., Natalie Dreier, C., & Jared Leone, C. (2019, November 08). Teen dating apps: 5 popular dating apps that parents need to know. Retrieved December 03, 2020, from https://www.whio.com/news/local/teen-dating-apps-popular-dating-apps-that-parents-need-know/KQGkhTpFCxeyrmLejeODpN/
In last week’s GKIS article, “How Teens Overshare,” we covered the ways kids intentionally and unintentionally share location information on social media and how to prevent this safety risk. In today’s article, we detail how cybercriminals victimize teens and offer more helpful information on how to get your kids internet safe.
Cyberstalkers
Cyberstalkers are predators who track online information to extort or harass, create cybercrimes like hacking or identity theft, or intercept a victim offline. Cyberstalkers can be complete strangers or people your teen may already be acquainted with.
Hackers
Hackers are predators who steal usernames, passwords, and personal information to gain access to a victim’s screen device. Once they can access, they can still further data, change or destroy information, install malware, and even take over the device’s camera.[1] Data can then be sold to other criminals on the dark web or be used for identity theft to take out loans and credit cards in your name.
Phishing
Phishing is a cybercrime in which a victim is contacted by email, telephone, or text message by someone posing as a legitimate institution to lure individuals into providing sensitive data. Phishing can also occur through websites and social media.[2] Dr. Bennett notes in her book, Screen Time in the Mean Time that the sensitive information obtained by phishing is often used for online login information such as usernames and passwords, bank account and credit card information, and even identity theft.
The most common example of phishing is email phishing. To email phish, the cybercriminal creates a fake domain that looks trustworthy and legitimate, then sends emails to potential victims asking them to click a link, download an attachment, or “update” their passwords.
To prevent your child from falling victim to online phishing, encourage them to only open emails, online messages, and text messages from trusted individuals and advise them to never click on any links or download attachments from an unusual or suspicious-looking email or message.
Identity Theft
According to The United States Department of Justice, “Identity theft and identity fraud are terms used to refer to all types of crime in which someone wrongfully obtains and uses another person’s personal data in some way that involves fraud or deception, typically for economic gain.”[5]
Cybercriminals often target younger individuals because children do not have bad credit (which is great for cybercriminals) and it is easy to keep it from being noticed until the child is older. In Dr. Bennett’s book, Screen Time in the Mean Time, she writes about a couple of children who were victims of identity theft.
Here are a few ways to protect your child from identity theft:
Install cybersecurity safeguards on phones, laptops, iPads, and any other device that need protection
Have family conversations about being wary of posting or sharing personal information online
Set up a virtual private network (VPN) to ensure the safety of your device(s)
Update passwords at least once a year and be sure that the new password does not include any information that may already be public such as, your teen’s name, age, pet’s name, or anything that could be easily guessed
Social Media Quizzes
Cybercriminals can also phish for information through social media by reviewing posts, asking questions, or offering an online quiz with targeted questions. Quiz questions to avoid include any that ask for your (or your mother’s) maiden name, your favorite color, the street you grew up on, your pets’ names, the first car you owned, or your best friend’s name.
The answers to these questions are often security answers on websites. With security information, personal accounts can be accessed for malicious intent. To prevent cybercrimes, ask your teen to refrain from taking online quizzes or you can encourage them to only take online quizzes from a legitimate source. Teaching your teen to withhold sharing personal information that could pose a security risk is vital to ensure their online safety.
Cyber Blackmail
Once a cybercriminal obtains sensitive information, they may use it to coerce a victim further. According to the BBC, “Cyber-blackmail is the act of threatening to share information about a person to the public, their friends or family unless a demand is met or money is paid.”[3] Cyber blackmail can take many forms and the cybercriminals who commit this crime use different tactics to take advantage of their victims.
Cybercriminals may even say that they have explicit photographs, access to their victim’s phone and computer’s webcam, or even recordings of them from their personal devices. Some of those claims may be true or false, but either way, the cybercriminal uses fear and shame to get what they want.[4]
To help prevent your teen from becoming a victim of cyber-blackmail;
advise them to never share sexual images of themselves (the images can end up anywhere)
advise them to not accept friend requests from strangers
advise them to be wary of things they post, share, or message others online (what they say can very well be used against them in the future)
require your teen to have private social media accounts
For more information and safety tips, we highly recommend parents to purchase our Cybersecurity & Red Flags Supplement. Dr. B created this tool because parents in her clinical and coaching practices frequently asked her to teach their kids the red flags that may alert them to the tricks of online predators, hate groups, and cyberbullies. In this Supplement, she offers her clinical teaching list so you can educate your kids. Knowledge and assertiveness coaching are key elements of child resilience and good judgment online.
Also included in the supplement is Dr. B’s Online Safety Red Flags for Parents. This tool teaches parents what child behaviors to look for that may signal they are at risk – a tool she created from 25+ years of clinical practice. Being able to recognize behavioral red flags in your child may be the difference between stopping risk after one exposure versus not recognizing dangerous relationships and exposures until it’s too late.
Thanks to CSUCI intern, Remi Ali Khan for researching cybercrimes and cybersecurity for this article.
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
Onward to More Awesome Parenting,
Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
Photo Credits
Photo by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
Photo by B_A from Pixabay
Photo by Pixabay from Pexles
Photo by Tracy Leblanc
Works Cited
Bennett, T. (2017). Screen Time in the Mean Time: How to Get Kids and Teens Internet Safe.
Brant, E., & Butterly, A. (2013, September 20). Cyber-blackmail: How to keep safe and deal with it. BBC Newsbeat. http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/23724703/cyber-blackmail-how-to-keep-safe-and-deal-with-it.
Cyber Extortion: Ransomware vs Extortionware. Alpine Security. (2020, August 2). https://alpinesecurity.com/blog/cyber-extortion-ransomware-vs-extortionware/.
The Dangers of Hacking and What a Hacker. https://www.webroot.com/us/en/resources/tips-articles/computer-security-threats-hackers.
Identity Theft. The United States Department of Justice. (2017, February 7). https://www.justice.gov/criminal-fraud/identity-theft/identity-theft-and-identity-fraud.
KnowBe4. What Is Phishing? Phishing. https://www.phishing.org/what-is-phishing.
