As the mother of an eleven year-old daughter who has her own smartphone and mainly communicates via texting, the thought of her participating in sexting is gut wrenching. Surveys reveal that 20% of teens between the ages of thirteen and nineteen have sent some type of sexually explicit message, with 38% reported having received a sexually explicit message as the intended or unintended recipient. Those who sext are associated with a higher risk of unsafe sexual behavior including having more sexual partners, not using protection during sexual intercourse, and drinking alcohol or some other substance before sexting/sex than those who have not (Judge, 2012).
As a mom I NEED to know how my child may be influenced into sexting, what those consequences may be, and how to prevent it!
How sexting starts
If a teen has access to their smartphone in their bedroom and out of their parent’s sight, what starts off as innocent texting with their crush or friend, can slowly turn into something else. I was at a presentation given by Dr. Tracy Bennett, CEO of GetKidsInternetSafe, and she explained how texting could lead to sexting. She elaborated,
“One night your child may be texting at night with her crush. He asks, “What are you wearing?” Your child responds, “My jammies.” Her crush begs, “Let me see.” Innocent right? Well night after night, these pictures can start to show less and less of the jammies and more and more bare skin. Boom! Your child has just sent her first sext message.” Slowly manipulating a child’s online behavior this way is called grooming.
The social norm among the friends your teen hangs out with on-and off-line may also encourage sexting behavior. Recent surveys found that up to 40% of child pornography images (Dr. Bennett prefers to call these “images of child sexual assault”) are self-produced, partly due to the emergence of young teens viewing online pornography and gradually mimicking sexualized behavior. Not only are teens producing their own pornographic content, but it is also being shared widely on the World Wide Web by pedophiles.
It’s easy for teens to succumb to online peer pressure and sexual grooming, because their prefrontal cortexes are not fully developed yet. The prefrontal region of the brain does not finish developing until a person is about 25 years old. This is the part of the brain that is responsible for skills like decision making, impulse control, and understanding the consequences of one’s actions. With a poorly developed prefrontal region, sexual drives and interests peaking, and smartphones constantly in-hand, teens are well primed to sexually act out online (Judge, 2012 & Ouystel, et al, 2015).
What consequences are associated with sexting?
One consequence of sending a sext is that consensual sexting can turn into coercion and aggravated sexting, commonly called sextortion. Once a teen has sent a sext, it may be impossible to get back or deleted. The once-trusted recipient can turn on the sender by using it as blackmail for extorting more explicit pictures from the sender. Common blackmail threats include telling parents or authority figures or sharing or uploading the images online where virtually anyone can gain access to it. This kind of behavior is called revenge porn.
You may also find it shocking that there are many revenge porn sites up and running. Online 26 states have revenge porn laws in place, and 11 others have laws pending. However, each state’s protection is different. For instance, California’s revenge porn laws are only enforceable when somebody other than the victim captured the image.
As you can imagine, sextortion can cause extreme emotional distress to the victim by arousing feelings of fear and anxiety that the blackmailer will follow through with their threats, or feelings of guilt for sending the photo in the first place. Furthermore, imagine being a teenager walking the main hall of high school wondering who has seen your images or commented among friends. The opportunity for cyberbullying and public shaming raises exponentially with nude and semi-nude images for the sharing.
Researchers report that sexting is being associated with high-risk sexual behaviors such as having unprotected sex with more partners than those who do not sext. A theory as to why this happens is sexting is viewed by some as a new way to flirt and gives the illusion that you “know” someone intimately, therefore making it easier to engage in sexual activity sooner than intended. Sexting can also serve as an icebreaker within the dating scene (Ouytset, et al., 2015 & Benotsch, 2010)
Some states view sexting as child pornography and even minor violators (browsers, sharers, and producers) are prosecuted. Ultimately that means the potential that a sexting teen could be included on a public sex offender list. Can you imagine your thirteen year old in that kind of jeopardy?
How can you prevent your child from sexting?
The most powerful methods of prevention continue to be a powerful collaborative and honest relationship between parents, educators, and kids and workaround- proof filtering and monitoring. Knowing what your children are viewing online, who they are talking to, and being aware of what they are sending and receiving is critical to decrease online risky behaviors. Not only must parents teach kids about online risk, but they must also teach problem solving and assertiveness skills to build the necessary resilience should online temptation arise. And most importantly, implement the kind of rules and regulations offered in the GKIS Connected Family Online Course. These suggestions are easy to implement and powerfully effective.
Thank you to Kathleen Gulden, CSUCI intern, for authoring this awesome GKIS article!
Onward to More Awesome Parenting,
Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com
Works cited
Benotsch, E., Snipes. D., Martin, A., & Bull, S., (2013). Sexting, substance use, and sexual risk behavior is young adults. Journal of Adolescent Health, 52 (3), 307-313.
Judge, A., (2012).”Sexting” among US. Adolescents: Psychological and legal perspectives. Harvard Review of Psychiatry, 20 (2), 86-96
Van Ouytsel, J., Walrave,M., Ponnet, K., & Heirman, W. (2015). The association between adolescent sexting, psychosocial difficulties, nd risk behavior: Intergrative review. The Journal of School Nursing,31(1), 54-69.
Don't worry, we will never spam you.
