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Parents of Student Athletes Struggle to Cope with Critical Tweets

May 16, 2023 by Keith Ferries

If you are a parent reading this, you understand how much we care about our children. Thirty-seven percent of kids have been a victim of cyberbullying, and 30% have reported cyberbullying to be an ongoing situation.[1] When we think of cyberbullying, we think of one teenager making online comments about another teen. But imagine a situation where your young adult child is repeatedly having to endure nasty remarks from other adults like it is in the case of college athletes. Some argue that is part of the fame. But is it also part of childhood? We don’t think so at GKIS. For that reason, we created our Social Media Readiness Course for tweens and teens to help your kids recognize the signs of online abuse and how to avoid it. Today’s GKIS article covers what parents of college athletes may encounter on Twitter as well as how to counterbalance the negativity.

Social Media in the Lives of College Athletes

In our GKIS article “When Young Athletes Look to Twitter to Showcase Talent and Track Sports News: An Inside Look,” we discussed the role social media plays in a young athlete’s life and how they learn to cope with it.
Our interviewee John said he learned how to detox from social media on occasion and also how to use cyberbullying as motivation. But when you’re a parent and hear something being said negatively toward your child, even if your child is an adult, it’s hard not to take that personally. There’s no protection from it, and if you jump to their aid online, it might ultimately harm them. College and professional teams don’t want to deal with online drama coming from parents. But sometimes, enough is enough…or is it?

When Parents Can’t Take the Online Attacks Anymore

Randi Mahomes, the mother of Super Bowl champion Patrick Mahomes, took to Twitter in 2021 to express her displeasure at a hit her son took from an opposing player. Arguably, she is in a reasonable position to speak her mind whether we agree with it or not because her son is already playing at the highest level.

But our division one college football player John’s parents weren’t so lucky. If someone was displeased with how John played a game and tweeted, “I hope your dog eats chocolate and gets really sick and throws up on your socks.”[2] (a tweet 7-time Superbowl champion Tom Brady once got), John’s parents must idly stand by and watch people sling mud at their child.

John’s mother Mary recalls, “The hardest one was seeing a tweet saying John was a ‘piece of shit’ after he had a bad game. Most of the time, I would listen to John and let it be, but I couldn’t with that comment. I had to speak my mind and tweet back.” She elaborated, “A few Twitter exchanges went back and forth, and then I let it go after speaking my mind.”

Mary said that some situations were more complicated than others, and she recalls many days being in tears over Twitter comments. She said a particularly hard day was when they read on Twitter that the college John had decided to go with unexpectedly selected a different quarterback. The tweet went out before John ever got a personal call saying the spot that he was offered was no longer available. It was heartbreaking, considering that he had turned down other offers in favor of this one, some of those offers were no longer available. After many conversations with the college scout prior to the tweet that seemed like a guarantee is followed with silence, it was hurtful.

Mary said, “About 80% of the time, the tweets were very positive. John had a good record, so it was more good than bad.” She said she still uses Twitter because she has other interests in the app, not just sports. Her husband, however, has since deleted the app now that their son is done with his athletic college career.

Parents are proud of their children and love to hear positive things. They don’t want to read tweets from strangers saying how their child isn’t trying hard enough or how they lost the big game for the team. Parents see firsthand how much their child loves the game, how hard they work, and how much sacrifice they give up competing at a top level. Because online education starts with parents, we created our Screen Safety Essentials Course for parents and families. Knowing what troubles lurk online will help parents teach their kids what they need to know to avoid digital injury and problem-solve through difficult online situations.

Other Ideas for How to Work Around Unwanted Negativity

Take regular breaks from social media. Our GKIS article, Start Fall Fresh With a Cleansing Digital Detox is a great article to help you take that first step.
Keep a positive dialogue going with your child about the pressures that arise from being an athlete with anonymous fans.
Adopt our free Connected Family Agreement, a simple tool that sets reasonable online limits and feeds a cooperative family alliance when it comes to online decisions.
Filter and manage online content with our Screen Safety Toolkit. This resource guide helps you build a customized set of parental controls for filtering and monitoring online content.
Set designated times throughout the week when everyone spends time together without their devices. Share about your offline and online lives to stay connected.

Thanks to C SUCI intern Keith Ferries for doing the research and writing this article.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

*Mary is a fictional name to maintain anonymity.

Works Cited

[1] Patchin, J. W., Ph.D. (2019, July 9). 2019 Cyberbullying Data. https://cyberbullying.org/2019-cyberbullying-data

[2] Kimble, L. (2021, February 5). Tom Brady Reads Mean Tweets About Himself Ahead of Super Bowl 2021. People.com. https://people.com/sports/super-bowl-2021-tom-brady-reads-mean-tweets/

Photo Credits

[1] Photographer Unknown https://www.pexels.com/photo/white-ceramic-teacup-beside-black-iphone-5-on-brown-wooden-table-58639/

[2] Karolina Grabowska
https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-woman-with-a-coffee-cup-in-front-of-a-laptop-7320744/

[3] Nicola Barts
https://www.pexels.com/photo/stressed-beard-black-man-working-on-laptop-7925881/

Is Your Child Exhibiting Digital Self-Harm?

May 4, 2023 by Brandon Bishop

In 2013, a 14-year-old girl in England named Hannah Smith committed suicide after being bullied and receiving hurtful comments on a social media website. When her father called for there to be accountability for the people who had left messages about his daughter before her death, it was revealed by the police that Hannah had most likely written the messages herself.[1] This was one of the first recognized incidents of digital self-harm, where a person leaves harmful messages, comments, or posts about themselves on the internet. We have written about physical self-harm in the GKIS article, “What Parents Need to Know About America’s Cutting Epidemic,” but today we’re going to examine the possible causes of digital self-harm, and how you can take steps to help your children if they’re experiencing this. To prevent digital self-harm, keeping open communication between you and your kids about their screen usage is essential. The GKIS Connected Family Screen Agreement is our free digital contract that helps create an open forum of communication between you and your kids and offers tips about the basics of internet safety.

What makes digital self-harm different?

Physical self-harm is when a person injures or puts themselves at risk without intent for committing suicide. Often this is done to numb emotional pain or cry for help. The most known forms of self-harm are cutting or burning yourself or skin-picking, but other risky behaviors like excessive drinking and drug use can become self-harm depending on the person’s motivation.[2] Physical self-harm can accompany or lead to suicidality.

Digital self-harm is similar to the physical forms of self-harm, but it takes place over the Internet. A teenager who’s self-harming this way may leave hateful comments and messages for themselves on social media, often in a publicly visible place. This is done anonymously on a fake account they’ve created.[3] By doing this to themselves, it can make it look like they’re being cyberbullied or harassed by others. Like physical self-harm, teenagers who digitally self-harm are at a much higher risk of suicidal thoughts or making a suicide attempt.[4]

Why do people engage in digital self-harm?

There are many reasons a teen may engage in digital self-harm, including:

to express overwhelming negative feelings about themselves.
to take control of peer relations where they’d otherwise feel out of control.
to look artsy, tough, or cool or better belong among others victimized by bullying or cyberbullying.
to numb out or punish themselves.[2][6]
to attract much-needed help and support.[5]
to elicit compliments and praise from others.
in hopes that friends will come to their defense and say positive things about them.[5]
to create a forum where they can engage in a public discourse and track responses.[5]
to phish to find out if other people see them in a similarly negative way.[6]

How common is this behavior?

A study in 2012 surveyed 617 college students and found that 9% of those students admitted to committing digital self-harm behavior while they were in high school.[7]

Another more recent 2017 study surveyed 5,593 middle-school and high-school students and found that about 5% admitted to digital self-harm, and 6% admitted to cyberbullying themselves.[3] They also found that teenagers who had digitally self-harmed were also more likely to have been bullied in the past than the students who hadn’t self-harmed.

The Role of Social Media in Self-Harm

As social media has gotten more popular, teenage mental health has been getting worse. One study found that adolescent suicide rates and depressive symptoms increased from 2010 to 2015, particularly among young girls.[8] Another found that students who checked social media 50-100 times a day were more likely to be distressed than their peers who checked less frequently, and that checking more than 100 times a day led to even higher distress.[9]

While self-harming behavior is usually done in private, social media opens the possibility of exposure to the negative emotions that cause self-harm. Social media allows kids and teens to communicate with others who self-harm and more easily find information about how to do different types of self-harm.[2]

What should I do if someone I know is digitally self-harming?

While digital self-harm is a new phenomenon in the worlds of social media and psychology, there are preventative measures that could help you monitor for digital self-harm in your family:

Take active steps to manage your children’s time online and monitor what kinds of websites your children are accessing. The GKIS Screen Safety Toolkit provides you with advice and app recommendations to set up parental controls, screen time management, and website filtering and blocking.
Recognize that self-harm is usually a symptom of other problems in your child’s life, and that they may be keeping it to themselves to avoid embarrassment or punishment. Respond with empathy in mind. This is a poorly thought-through coping mechanism that is fairly common among kids, tweens, and teens. Don’t respond harshly because you are disappointed or embarrassed. Instead, make this a teaching opportunity and gently validate their feelings and coach them through to better solutions. Kids make mistakes online just as they do offline. They’re still learning.
If the free Connected Family Agreement catches your interest and you want something more comprehensive, our megacourse for Screen Safety Essentials offers GKIS content for the whole family to form healthier screen use habits and encourage cooperation between you and your kids.
If you’re worried that your teen is self-harming or suicidal, contact a mental health professional as soon as possible. Typically, the earlier the intervention, the more effective it is.

Thanks to CSUCI intern Brandon Bishop for researching digital self-harm and its causes and authoring this article.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Facility
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] Hannah Smith inquest: Teenager posted ‘online messages’ from BBC News

[2] Identifying Different Types of Self-Harm in Teens from Newport Academy

[3] Digital Self-Harm Among Adolescents by Dr. Justin W. Patchin & Dr. Sameer Hinduja

[4] Digital self-harm and suicidality among adolescents by Justin W. Patchin, Sameer Hinduja, and Ryan C. Meldrum

[5] Digital Self-Harm and Other Acts of Self-Harassment by Danah Boyd

[6] Digital Self-Harm in Adolescents: What It Is and How to Prevent It from Newport Academy

[7] Digital Self-Harm: Frequency, Type, Motivations, and Outcomes by Dr. Elizabeth Englander

[8] Increases in Depressive Symptoms, Suicide-Related Outcomes, and Suicide Rates Among U.S. Adolescents After 2010 and Links to Increased New Media Screen Time by Dr. Jean M. Twenge, et al.

[9] #Being Thirteen: Social Media and the Hidden World of Young Adolescents’ Peer Culture by Dr. Marion K. Underwood & Dr. Robert Faris

Photo Credits

Photo by Pixabay from Pexels: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-looking-at-sea-while-sitting-on-beach-247314/

Photo by Mikoto.raw Photographer from Pexels: https://www.pexels.com/photo/photo-of-woman-using-mobile-phone-3367850/

Photo by Tracy Le Blanc from Pexels: https://www.pexels.com/photo/person-holding-iphone-showing-social-networks-folder-607812/

The GKIS Sensible Parent’s Guide to Reddit

April 29, 2023 by Brandon Bishop

Reddit is a popular social media website with millions of users worldwide and has a controversial reputation due to its content moderation policies. This GKIS Sensible Parent’s Guide will provide what a parent needs to know about Reddit and offer some suggestions to help keep your children safe while using the website. We also recommend checking out the GKIS Social Media Readiness Training Course, which can help you teach your kids how to safely interact with any social media website.

How long has Reddit been around how popular is it?

Reddit is a hybrid internet forum and social news media website where users can post images, videos, and links to other websites, and other users can leave comments on the original post. As of February 2023, it’s the tenth most visited website on the internet with 4.8 billion monthly visits.[1] It was founded in 2005 by Steve Huffman, Alexis Ohanian, and Aaron Swartz as a bulletin board-style website that would act as “the front page of the internet.”[2] In 2006, the website was acquired by the mass media company Condé Nast Publications, also known for magazine and news companies such as Vogue, The New Yorker, and Vanity Fair.[3]

The website is divided into thousands of subreddits that organize posts by topic. Some subreddits cover broad topics, such as r/gaming for anything video game related, while others are more specific like r/minecraft or r/fortnite for those specific games. There are subreddits for news, relationship advice, political discussion, different hobbies, and nearly anything else you might expect to find on the internet. There are many subreddits dedicated to community support, like r/TwoXChromosomes for women’s rights and r/lgbt for LGBT issues.

Posts and comments on Reddit can be given upvotes and downvotes, which are similar to likes on Twitter or Facebook. Recent posts with multiple upvotes will be displayed at the top of the subreddit it was posted in. Posts with multiple downvotes are less likely to appear and will often be tagged as “controversial” by the website’s filter settings.

Getting Started with Reddit

The only thing Reddit requires to create an account is a valid email address. Reddit’s user agreement states that users need to be over the age of 13, but there is no age verification requirement besides a check box agreeing to the terms and conditions during account creation. Reddit has a mobile app that can be downloaded from the Google Play store or Apple App store, and can also be accessed from any web browser.

Benefits and Popular Features of Reddit

Custom Home Page

By default, the home page of Reddit shows the subreddit r/popular, which displays a variety of posts from a list of the most popular subreddits, with some restrictions related to political and adult-oriented subreddits.[4] Reddit users can also sort by r/all, which displays the top results from all subreddits on the website.

Reddit users can subscribe to specific subreddits they like, causing those subreddits to appear on their home page. Users can also subscribe to other user profiles so that they can see what another user posts no matter what subreddit it’s posted in. By doing so they can create a curated feed of content that relates to their interests.

Subreddits are mostly created by Reddit users and act as community forums for discussion and sharing media. They are run by moderators, who are users that set and enforce rules within each subreddit but are not paid employees of Reddit.[5] Reddit employees known as administrators only get involved in a subreddit if there are violations of the website’s terms of service and content policies.[6]

Community Events

Reddit is also known for having large community events on April Fools’ Day every year. In 2015, the subreddit r/thebutton was created, where a sitewide countdown clock could be reset by pushing a button, but each user could only push the button once.[7] In 2017 and 2022, Reddit ran an event called r/place where its community members could collaborate to create pixel artwork on a canvas where each user could only edit a single pixel every five minutes.[8]

Reddit’s Privacy and Safety Options

Reddit’s user settings and account creation process offer several options to protect yourself and your information while you use the website.

Anonymity
- Reddit does not require any personal information besides an email address to create an account.
- In its Safety & Privacy Settings, you can choose whether you want your profile to appear in search engine results from websites like Google or Bing.
- Users can delete their posts, comments, or their entire account from their profile settings at any time.
Personal Information
- Reddit collects personal information about its users but allows users to restrict what information is collected and how it is used in its Safety & Privacy Settings.
- Reddit users can file a data request form to receive a copy of the data that has been collected from their account.
- When an account is deleted, the username is removed from all posts and comments made by that account. However, the posts will still be publicly visible unless they are deleted before the account.
Chat and Private Messages
- Users can choose whether they want to receive chat requests and private messages in their Chat Settings and can restrict messages from accounts less than 30 days old.
- Users can also block individual user profiles, preventing that user from messaging them or sending chat requests.

Risks of Reddit

Adult-Oriented Content

Reddit has many subreddits dedicated to easily accessible adult content like pornography and graphic violence. Posts from these subreddits are marked as NSFW (internet slang for ‘Not Safe for Work’ or ‘Not Suitable for Workplace’) and excluded from r/popular and r/all.[4] Despite this, directly searching for adult content is only restricted by a check box below the search bar asking if you would like to include NSFW search results. Those results still appear if you select to hide NSFW posts in your user settings.

Additionally, the process for tagging NSFW content is only enforced by moderators, not site administrators. Inappropriate posts that contain nudity are automatically tagged, but ones that do not show explicit nudity can slip through the filtering process. Posts containing graphic violence are also often poorly moderated, and content from subreddits like r/fightporn (videos of street fights) and r/CombatFootage (GoPro videos of military conflicts) often make it to Reddit’s r/all page even if they show severe injuries or death.

Political Content and Hate Speech

Reddit has had many controversies surrounding the political subreddits on its website. In 2015, five popular hate speech subreddits targeting ethnic and gender minorities were banned for violating Reddit’s anti-harassment policies.[9] It banned the subreddit r/altright in 2017 after posts were made which called for the harassment of and leaked the personal information of a man who punched right-wing personality Richard Spencer.[10] Multiple political subreddits such as r/The_Donald, R/DonaldTrump, r/GenderCritical, and r/ChapoTrapHouse were banned under new policies designed to reduce hate speech in 2020.[11]

Despite these efforts, Reddit continues to have problems with hate speech and politically motivated harassment on its platform. While these bans remove the offending subreddits and all posts within them, the users who subscribed and made posts in those subreddits are rarely banned unless they directly violate terms of service. Users from the banned subreddits will often continue posting in other subreddits with similarly relaxed rules about hate speech and discrimination until it is banned as well.

Cyberbullying and Harassment

Reddit is a social media website with a high risk of cyberbullying and harassment. Because Reddit users are anonymous, there are few repercussions for directly sending another user harmful messages or unwanted explicit images. A user’s posts and comments are also publicly visible to all other users, which enables internet stalking behavior. While Reddit does have anti-harassment policies that can result in an offender’s account being banned, there’s little to prevent a banned user from creating another account to continue their harassment.[12]

GKIS Suggestions to Keep Your Kids Safe on Reddit

You can sign up for the GKIS Connect Family Screen Agreement, a free course that covers the basics of internet safety and keeping open communication between you and your kids about their internet use.
You can check out the GKIS Social Media Readiness Training course, which contains 10 lessons to help your teens and tweens get ready to responsibly use social media. It also provides access to the private GKIS Connected Family Facebook group, with tips and feedback from Dr. Bennett and other families who have taken the course.
There’s also the GKIS Screen Safety Toolkit, which is a parent’s guide to setting up parental controls, screen time management, social media & text monitoring, and other technological tools to keep an eye on how your kids use the internet.

Thanks to CSUCI intern Brandon Bishop for researching Reddit and preparing this GKIS Sensible Parent’s Guide.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] Free Website Traffic Checker from Semrush

[2] <Live Episode! Reddit: Alexis Ohanian & Steve Huffman by National Public Radio

[3] Condé Nast from Wikipedia

[4] Reddit is eliminating explicit content from its public homepage by Saqib Shah

[5] What’s a moderator? from Reddit

[6] What is an admin? from Reddit

[7] The button: the fascinating social experiment driving Reddit crazy by Timothy B. Lee

[8] Reddit is bringing back r/Place for April Fools’ Day – here’s how to participate by José Adorno

[9] These are the 5 subreddits Reddit banned under its game-changing anti-harassment policy – and why it banned them by Caitlin Dewey

[10] Reddit shuts down ‘alt-right’ subreddit by Luke Lancaster

[11] Reddit bans r/The_Donald and r/ChapoTrapHouse as part of a major expansion of its rules by Casey Newton

[12] Reddit Content Policy

Photo Credits

Photo by Brett Jordan from Pexels: https://www.pexels.com/photo/red-white-and-black-labeled-box-5437588/

Photo by Designecologist from Pexels: https://www.pexels.com/photo/silver-imac-displaying-collage-photos-1779487/

Photo by Pixabay from Pexels: https://www.pexels.com/photo/settings-android-tab-270700/

When Young Athletes Look to Twitter to Showcase Talent and Track Sports News: An Inside Look

April 4, 2023 by Keith Ferries

Imagine being a teenager getting ready for the big game, whether it’s soccer, basketball, or football. Your anxiety is buzzing as you try to stay focused. Friends and family are in the stands and your coaches are lasered in on you. Now imagine that, in addition to your friends, family, and coaches watching, there are also the college scouts and your scholarship is on the line. The weight of the world is on your shoulders. One false move and the dream you have been working on for years may be dashed. Now let’s add one more layer and imagine that right before you head onto the field you check your phone one last time. You tweet about being pumped because your social media engagement impacts your future in BIG ways. Then, ping, a stranger tweets about how you suck and that you will never make it in college sports…

How to Play the Game on Twitter

Although athletics are highlighted on many social media platforms, Twitter leads the pack for athletes to showcase their talent. Unfortunately, it’s also a place for people to troll, vent, and attack an athlete’s performance. While the public discusses their opinions of statistics and abilities, those who may impact your future watch the fray silently.

Often college offers are announced and celebrated on Twitter, leaving those who were passed up feeling shocked and demoralized. To better understand what that is like to have your talent showcased on Twitter, I recently interviewed a college quarterback named John*.

John was a 3-star athlete, which translates into being in the top ten percent of high school quarterbacks in the nation.[1] In high school, many college coaches were competing to recruit him. Other quarterbacks were in the same boat, all on Twitter tracking stats and who was tweeting about whom. He told us that a range of emotions was at play, elaborating, “When you see the tweets on how good another quarterback is, how he is ranked higher than you, and how he got his scholarship, those tweets make you more hungry to win.”

How to Make Twitter Work for You

We asked John if, alongside motivation, he often felt despair, But John insisted that, in his case, he didn’t consider Twitter to be all that bad. “It was a great way for me to reach out to schools, to put up my stats, and to get positive feedback from prospective coaches in the off-season. If I had a good game, I made sure to send it to colleges the next day and post it for others to see.” He said that when he wants news, all he has to do is look to the internet. When I asked about what would happen if he had a bad game, he chuckled and said, “When you have a bad game, people will post it for you. No need to worry about that.” Unfortunately, not every child can always take the negative and turn it into a positive. Our Screen Safety Essentials Course is a great way for your teen to learn to help them think before they tweet.

Everyone’s a Critic

When speaking with John about Twitter and college, he said that things change from high school to college. “ There isn’t too much negativity on a high school player when they have a bad game, but that all goes out the window when you get to college. Betters [people gambling on the game] will always have something to say when you don’t perform like they hoped you would.”

According to cbssports.com, in a single sports season up to eight billion dollars are wagered.[2] To give a perspective of what eight billion is, that is what Instacart was valued at in 2019.[3] The college football season is about four months long, with the regular season being 12 games per team.

John elaborated, “If I had a bad game, it wasn’t uncommon for me to delete the Twitter app because I was already beating myself up enough for the loss. I didn’t need to hear it from people that don’t play the game. Breaks off social media are great because you have to kinda get in check with your reality.” I asked about tweets in high school hurting him or anyone he knew at the time. He responded, “Most people are pretty forgiving to high school kids as long as it’s nothing really bad. Your coaches care about you and do help guide you. If you make a mistake and tweet something bad, your high school coach and any coach interested in you at the college level will usually talk to you. These things I have seen have usually been a learning experience. However, when you get to the college level, that all changes. They expect you to be an adult and act accordingly.” For example, in 2015, professional quarterback Josh Allen was projected to be the first draft pick of the NFL until an old Tweet of his from high school days resurfaced. His status dropped to seventh, translating into a lot of money lost. To help prepare your tween or teen on how to handle such situations, GKIS has a great Social Media Readiness Course.

Overall, the athlete we spoke to loved playing and everything about it. John said there were times that weren’t as much fun but he took what was given to him and made it work for him. He turned a mean tweet into motivation to work harder than the next guy. When asked what advice he’d give a young athlete, he said, “Don’t waste energy on something that is out of your control. It’s only going to bring you down.”

Other Tips for How to Avoid the Pitfalls

Before you allow your tween or teen to go on social media, require that they take our Social Media Ready Course. This information optimizes the chances that they’ll not fall victim to digital injuries and maintain the best psychological wellness practice.
Review with your teen how to promote themselves and build a positive brand and how to avoid negativity and online conflict. We offer these strategies in our Screen Safety Essentials Course.
Detox from social media on occasion to regroup and gain perspective.
Keep good company with coaches, friends, and family. Accept support from those who support you on and off the field
Reframe negativity online so it motivates you. Don’t let it take a negative hold on your attitude toward the same, your competitors, or yourself.

If you found this blog article interesting, please check out some of our other GKIS articles about Twitter.

The GKIS Sensible Parent’s Guide to Twitter

How to Spot an Internet Troll

Showcasing Child Talent Online Leads to Exploitation and Scams

Thanks to CSUCI intern Keith Ferries for interviewing John, doing the research, and writing this article.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

*John is a fictional name to allow the athlete interviewed to remain anonymously

Work Cited

[1] Nusser, J. (2018, December 15). Seeing stars: 247Sports, Rivals, and ESPN star-rating systems explained. Coug Center. https://www.cougcenter.com/wsu-football-recruiting/2013/2/5/3956800/rivals-scout-espn-247-star-rating-system-national-signing-day

[2] Dodd. D. (2022, November 17). College sports’ overlooked gambling issue: Improprieties being ignored as betting soars nationwide. Cbssports.com. https://www.cbssports.com/college-football/news/college-sports-overlooked-gambling-issue-improprieties-being-ignored-as-betting-soars-nationwide/

[3] Gebel, M. (2022, November 17). 30 companies worth at least $1 billion that didn’t exist 10 years ago. Businessinsider.com. Retrieved December 3, 2019, from https://www.businessinsider.com/companies-unicorns-worth-1-billion-didnt-exist-10-years-ago-2019-11

Photo Credits

[1] Photographer unknown

https://www.pexels.com/photo/2-football-player-running-after-person-holding-football-during-daytime-in-shallow-focus-photography-159571/

[2]Photographer Unknown

https://www.pexels.com/photo/red-blue-and-yellow-textile-5417837/

[3] Photographer Unknown

https://www.stockvault.net/photo/119697/usd-bills-close-up#

Does Social Media Promote Serial Killer Obsessions Through Murderer Fan Accounts?

December 9, 2022 by katherinecarroll

Through their quickly consumable content, TikTok, Instagram, and Twitter have made it increasingly easy to connect with people who have similar interests to you. While this helps people to find those like them, it may become dangerous when those interests are morbid. All over social media, you can find fan accounts and fan edits for the world’s most deadly serial killers. By connecting true-crime fans all over the world, social media has caused an emergence of teens who have a cult-like obsession with killers like Dahmer, Bundy, and Manson. Today’s article covers social media’s obsession with serial killers and how you can keep your child safe from digital injury with our GKIS Screen Safety Toolkit.

Fandoms and The Rise of the “Stan”

A fandom is a group built around the shared interest or enjoyment of something in popular culture.[1] Since before the creation of the internet, people have gathered to meet and obsess over their common interests. The internet has simply made it easier to do so.

Fandoms provide a space for people to be themselves without judgment, leading to higher levels of self-esteem.[2] There is a term for those who are particularly obsessed, called “Stans.” A Stan is someone who is a mix between a stalker and a fan, someone who shows extreme fandom behavior to the point of excessiveness.[3]

Typically online, you can expect to see fandoms for pop culture groups like movies, TV shows, and musicians. However, with the rise in true crime popularity, a new subgroup has formed of “Stans” with a particular interest in serial killers and their victims. These Stans continually post videos of serial killer interviews edited to music, create fan accounts, and even write serial killer self-insert fanfiction where they are the victims.[4]

Social Media’s Role in Obsession

Social media thrives on content that can get lots of views and produce lots of likes, meaning that the more scandalous and salacious content is, the more likely it is to do well. The notifications from social media likes and comments trigger the reward center of our brain, releasing dopamine and making us feel good all over.[5] When users post content that is related to their fandoms, they get a rush of dopamine and that connection between fandom content and happiness causes them to post more and interact with the content more.

Social media has also created a world where content is readily available for consumption, meaning that people can see posts specifically tailored to their interests 24/7. This allows people to go from fans to superfans, spending their waking moments scouring the internet for posts related to their fandom. One Quora user shared their experience as an obsessive fan, “I’ve been addicted to a fandom for 7 years, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it for that long. As per my personal experience, I got sucked into several fandoms due to over-engaging in social media. I over-identified with the idols and associated my own ego with that of their public image.”[6] This idolization of celebrities creates dangerous parasocial relationships that are only made further dangerous when one’s idol is a serial killer. To learn more about parasocial relationships, check out the GKIS article, “The Dangers of Online Parasocial Celebrity Relationships”.

When Does Harmless Become Harmful

It’s easy to brush off fandom behavior as nothing more than a phase one will grow out of. But when the obsession turns into something more it can become dangerous. Cody Ackland was a 24-year-old who grew up obsessed with Ted Bundy, an interest that no one paid much attention to until he attacked and murdered 18-year-old Bobbi Anne McLeod. Just hours before attacking McLeod, Ackland had searched for “Ted Bundy dead victim’s bodies” and “Ukrainian serial killer bodies” on the internet.[7]

Teens have become more and more desensitized to serial killers and true crime content, going so far as to make fan accounts as part of a big internet joke. When 23-year-old Peter Manfredonia was on the run from the police following a double murder he committed, teens on TikTok and Instagram began making fan accounts and posting meme comments to the killer’s personal Instagram page.[8] While the people running these accounts chalk up their actions to being a big joke, there is a large community of people who genuinely run fan accounts for notable serial killers.

Reddit user IkariMonster shared screenshots of several accounts from Twitter to a sub-Reddit, stating, “These teenagers worship and treat serial killers and school shooters like e-boys.”[9] In the screenshots, you can see several fan accounts treating serial killers Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer, and the Columbine Shooters Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold as though they were celebrities. In one post a teenage girl shares a selfie next to her bedroom wall, which is covered in photos of Dahmer with the caption, “I just thought I’d share cause I think my wall looks pretty [face with hearts emoji].” These accounts and posts are just one example of content and cult-like obsessive behavior that exists across multiple social media platforms.

The victims of these killers were people with friends and family and the pain they endured it absolutely horrendous. There is no reason that serial killers and mass murderers should be praised or celebrated for their actions. The creation of fan accounts and fandom content perpetrates further violence against the families of the victims and serves as a constant reminder of the pain they suffered. GKIS does not endorse this behavior. We are mortified by it and think it is destructive to kids and teens to be so callous and to celebrate violence in this way.

What Parents Can Do

Installing management tools for social media can help you in monitoring their internet behavior. If you would like help with this process, check out our GKIS Screen Safety Toolkit made to help empower and provide parents with smart tech tools to filter, monitor, and manage online behavior.
Co-view the content your child interacts with; you can scroll together to choose what content they view and enjoy.
Make it known from the beginning the type of content that is acceptable for your child to view. We can help facilitate this healthy conversation with our Connected Families Screen Agreement to help you work with your child to create a collaborative, living document.

Like what you read? Check out our GKIS articles “Do Netflix Serial Killer Exposés Cause Kids to Romanticize Murderers?” and “Is Your Child Following True Crime?”

Thanks to CSUCI intern, Katherine Carroll for researching social media and serial killer obsession.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] Subcultures and sociology. (2022) Grinnell College. https://haenfler.sites.grinnell.edu/subcultural-theory-and-theorists/fandom-and-participatory-culture/

[3] Blistein, J. Eminem-Inspired Use of ‘Stan’ Added to Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary (2019). Rolling Stone. https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/eminem-stan-merriam-websters-dictionary-entry-826557/

[3] Radzicki McManus, M. Where’s the Line Between Fandom and Obsession? (2018) HowStuffWorks. https://science.howstuffworks.com/life/inside-the-mind/human-brain/fan-superfan-why-some-people-go-too-far.htm

[4] Septin. Serial Killers Fandom Wiki (2013). Fanfiction Wiki. https://fanfiction.fandom.com/wiki/Serial_Killer

[5] Thalin, G. Too few social media ‘likes’ can lead to increases in teen depression (2020). Painted Brain. https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/eminem-stan-merriam-websters-dictionary-entry-826557/

[6] Bose, Emily. I’ve been addicted to a fandom for 7 years (2020). Quora. https://www.quora.com/Ive-been-addicted-to-a-fandom-for-7-years-and-I-havent-been-able-to-stop-thinking-about-it-for-that-long-How-do-I-stop-this-unhealthy-obsession

[7] Eve, C., Matthews, C., and Wade-Palmer, C. Ted Bundy-obsessed guitarist who beat teen to death at bus stop jailed for life (2022) Daily Star. https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/breaking-serial-killer-fan-murdered-27005203

[8] Tenbarge, K. Teens on Instagram are making dark fan pages for a 23-year-old suspected of double murder (2020) Insider. https://www.insider.com/peter-manfredonia-connecticut-instagram-teens-fan-pages-suspected-murder-2020-5

[9] IkariMonster. r/AwfulEverything (2020). Reddit. https://www.reddit.com/r/awfuleverything/comments/hfl06e/these_teenagers_who_worship_and_treat_serial/

Photo Credits

Photo by Kyle Johnson (https://unsplash.com/photos/yXAXya621Po)

Photo by Kashawn Hernandez (https://unsplash.com/photos/aLmK7pF3s7M)

Photo by Hassan Rafhaan (https://unsplash.com/photos/DHZAZRWxuQQ)

The Dangers of Online Parasocial Celebrity Relationships

November 22, 2022 by Tracy Pizano

So many of us follow our favorite celebrities on social media hoping to get small glimpses of their private lives. But have you ever wondered, where’s the line between fandom and obsession? Tweens and teens are especially vulnerable to developing parasocial relationships with celebrities they love online. Because of their fame, celebs can influence followers in some of the worst ways. To prevent your child from being negatively influenced by others online and to create a strong digital foundation, check out our Screen Safety Essentials Course. Today’s GKIS article covers what online parasocial relationships are and how to prevent their negative influence on kids and teens.

What is a ‘Parasocial’ Relationship?

A parasocial relationship is a one-way relationship with a person of higher status who you know intimately but who hardly knows you at all.[1] Social media is the perfect vehicle to develop parasocial relationships. Younger tweens and teens are especially susceptible due to a powerful social drive fed by adolescent identity formation. Not only are teens looking for mentorship, but they also easily form an attachment to idealized versions of their favorite celebs.[2]

Social media features that readily fuel parasocial relationships include the attraction of stylized and beautifully edited posts, branding relationships between celebrities, produced dramas between celebrities designed to bring in more followers, fan comments and forums, and even the ability to send private messages. Studies show that adolescents that have a weaker sense of self-identity often participate in celebrity worship as they are more easily influenced by others.[2]

‘Stan Culture’

Fans aim to achieve closer relations with their favorite celebs through various consumption activities.[1] Twitter is the social media site with the largest number of users who participate in celebrity worship, which is also known as a stan. A Stan is an overzealous or obsessive fan of a particular celebrity. Primarily a term used to define a fan of a particular musical artist, there are Stans for just about any popular current artist you can think of. Stan culture on Twitter consists of individuals sharing fanmade videos and pictures and consuming as much of the artist’s content as possible.

There is also a dark side to Twitter’s Stan culture. Arguments between Stans of different celebrities frequently appear in comment sections, which eventually turn into cases of cyberbullying. Studies have found that intense celebrity worship can be linked to tendencies toward addiction and stalking behaviors.[3] What seems like innocent fan engagement could potentially lead to something more negative and even illegal.

Defending Harmful Messages

Well-known celebs have the freedom to post whatever they want on the Internet, just like the rest of us. Although they aren’t obligated to maintain a certain image, sometimes they promote harmful ideologies that influence fans who’ve developed parasocial relationships with them.

The most recent example is rapper Kanye West, who has been at the forefront of recent celeb controversy. In October 2022, Kanye made some anti-Semitic remarks based on conspiracy theories and harmful stereotypes in interviews and Instagram posts. This resulted in groups of people in Los Angeles standing with signs over freeways saying harmful anti-Semitic things shortly after the comments circulated on the Internet. One of the signs said that Kanye was “right” about what he said about Jewish individuals. Amongst the backlash that he received, there were die-hard fans that stood their ground and continued to defend his actions. This led some fans to adopt his conspiracy theories and ideals at worst and turn a blind eye to such ignorance at best.

Impressionable Teens and Tweens

Other celebrities have also promoted problematic ideas with the support of fans who adore them. This is a problem primarily for young tweens and teens due to their lack of real-world experiences and their evolving views of the world around them. Being negatively influenced by celebrities online can have serious risks.

How to Discourage Parasocial Relationships

There is a difference between being a fan of someone’s work and developing an obsessive parasocial relationship with them online. Having conversations with your kids about the importance of navigating the Internet safely is a good place to start. Our Connected Family Course can help with that. It includes the tools necessary to monitor and promote healthy screen engagement while still maintaining a positive environment at home.

Young teens and tweens who are still learning about the world could be exposed to ignorant comments from their favorite celebrities and could potentially become influenced by them. In the worst case, teens become radicalized in their thinking without their parents even knowing. To prevent your tweens and teens from engaging in ignorant and harmful content online, check out our Social Media Readiness Course. Our course provides you and your child with the knowledge necessary to safely browse the Internet and avoid ignorant and harmful content, as well as how to make healthy digital decisions.

Learning the ways of the Internet doesn’t have to be a daunting task. Dr. Bennett’s book Screen Time in the Mean Time is another great tool for parents to use to become more knowledgeable about the unpredictable online realm. This book can further prepare you for establishing a safe environment for your tweens and teens to express their love for their favorite celebrities/artists online.

Thanks to CSUCI intern Tracy Pizano for researching the risks of forming parasocial relationships and for co-authoring this article.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] Derbaix, M., & Korchia, M. (2019). Individual celebration of pop music icons: A study of music fans’ relationships with their object of fandom and associated practices. Journal of Consumer Behaviour, 18(2), 109–119. https://doi-org.ezproxy.csuci.edu/10.1002/cb.1751

[2] Ang, C.-S., & Chan, N.-N. (2018). Adolescents’ views on celebrity worship: A qualitative study. Current Psychology: A Journal for Diverse Perspectives on Diverse Psychological Issues, 37(1), 139–148. https://doi-org.ezproxy.csuci.edu/10.1007/s12144-016-9497-0

[3] Sansone, R. A., & Sansone, L. A. (2014). ‘I’m your number one fan’—A clinical look at celebrity worship. Innovations in Clinical Neuroscience, 11(1–2), 39–43.

Photo Credits

[1] https://stock.adobe.com/search?k=celebrity&asset_id=357310019

[2] https://depositphotos.com/127192718/stock-photo-blond-teenage-girl-texting-on.html

[3]https://www.parkview.com/community/dashboard/talking-to-your-daughter-about-puberty-and-pregnancy