parenting

U.S. Senate Passes KOSA and COPPA 2.0

August 1, 2024 by GetKidsInternetSafe

I am so excited that we are FINALLY seeing progress in holding big tech accountable for giving safer child options online! On July 30^th the U.S. Senate overwhelmingly passed the Kids Online Safety Act (KODA) and the Children and Teens’ Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA 2.0). This has been hard-earned with many parents and professional advocates working tirelessly to protect our kids. Next, this legislation must pass the U.S. House to become law!

We detailed the descriptions of these bills in our previously published GKIS article, “California’s Newest Online Privacy Protections for Kids.”

The Children and Teens Online Privacy Protection Act

The Children and Teens Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA 2.0) is legislation that also aims to strengthen minors’ online protections.[1] It would amend the original 1998 act and strengthen the online collection and disclosure of information of children up to the age of 16.[1]

The Kids Online Safety Act of 2022

The Kids Online Safety Act of 2022 (KOSA) is a kid’s online safety act that aims to empower both parents and children to have control over their online activity.[2] It would provide children and parents with the right tools and safeguards by requiring that social media platforms have protective options regarding algorithms, product features, and information.[2] KOSA would require social media platforms to have a duty to prevent harm to minors in its many forms.[2] The KOSA bill requires that non-profit organizations and academic researchers get access to data from social media platforms to conduct research regarding harm to the well-being and safety of minors.[5] This act applies to social media, social networks, multiplayer online video games, social messaging applications, and video streaming services.

Specifically, social media platforms will be required to:

have the strongest safety settings for children set by default. That means better protection over their information, disabling the most addictive use features, and the ability to opt out of personalized algorithmic recommendations.
Give parents new controls to spot harmful behavior and a dedicated channel to report it. That means parental controls are turned on by default for young children and as an option for teens. To protect minor privacy, platforms must notify them that parental controls are in place.
Act on their duty to protect kids from harmful actors and content like those that can contribute to suicide, sexual exploitation, eating disorders, substance abuse, and ads for illegal products like THC, tobacco, and alcohol.
Participate in independent audits and child and teens online safety research.[2]

Please keep in mind that this act:

Requires social media platforms to avoid intentional nudges and reminders that move kids to harmful content, it does not block or censor internet content. Third parties can still share information that the social media platforms are not liable for and kids can still search for content that may be harmful to them.
Although most social media platforms do ask for the date of birth of new users to profile and comply with the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA), this act does not require social media platforms to set up age-gating or age verification.
Does not prevent kids from going online. But it does ask for safeguards and permissions for users under 13 years old in a similar way that COPPA does.
Does not monitor user behavior, which would be a violation of privacy by itself.
Does not impact personal websites or blogs.[2]

Social Media Readiness

Although these legislations are a step in the right direction, they still do not provide the education and problem-solving training that kids need to make safer decisions online. That is still left up to the schools and the parents. If you haven’t yet taken the step to help your kids learn the skills they need to better assure safety, check out our Social Media Readiness Courses. For the tween, we have a short and sweet online lesson (complete with mastery quizzes) that is at a fifth-grade reading level. This gets important family conversations started and teaches kids important skills for recognizing the dangers of digital injury and for implementing important psychological wellness tools. Our teen version goes more in-depth and takes far longer (also complete with mastery quizzes) and is at a tenth-grade reading level.

If you work with youth or families and want to improve your expertise in supporting their online safety, check out our GetKidsInternetSafe Screen Safety Certification Course!

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Dr. Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] FACT SHEET. — COPPA 2.0 https://www.commonsensemedia.org/sites/default/files/featured-content/files/coppa_2.0_one_pager_2021.pdf

[2] The Kids Online Safety Act of 2022 https://www.blumenthal.senate.gov/imo/media/doc/kids_online_safety_act_-_one_pager.pdf

Photo Credits

Photo by Connor Gan on Unsplash

Is Your Teen Best Buds with an Inmate?

December 5, 2023 by Samantha Sanchez

We believe we’re caught up with the dangers of internet usage and social media, but there’s a new shocking frenzy in town. Your child’s favorite TikTok users are writing to inmates, and your child may be considering it, too. We’re covering the start of the craze, the dangers of being a pen pal, and how to protect your child from these relationships. If protecting your child is one of your goals as a parent, take a look at our GKIS Social Media Readiness Course, a tool that helps you get your child “social” while avoiding digital injury.

The Beginning of the Inmate Pen-pal Craze

During the quarantine of 2020, TikTok users filmed their experience writing to inmates. These people used WriteAPrisoner, a website that lists inmate profiles that are seeking pen-pals. Users showed their friendships with inmates progressing from friends, best friends, and in most cases, romantic partners. TikTok users were intrigued by the idea, picked up their pen and papers, and started writing to inmates, too. Although the start of the craze was in 2020, teens everywhere are still writing.

TikTok user @jadalous2.0, aka Jade Chipps, has gained millions of views and over 300,000 followers from sharing her story. In some of her most popular videos, she shares that she used an inmate pen-pal website to write to potential suitors.[1] Jade shares that she started dating an inmate named Chris and married him after seven months of dating. Most of Jade’s comments come from young girls asking her advice on how to choose a good pen pal, what advice she has for those dating inmates, what site people should use to find their future partner and more.

Why is this so popular?

Our youth have proven their interest in true crime and the macabre over the past few years. We’ve seen a rise in the production of horror films, true crime documentaries, and even the romanticization of serial killers. We’re so much of a rise in interest that even teens on social media are creating fan accounts for their ‘favorite’ serial killers.

Serial killer films tend to remove the emotional aspect of the cases, such as grieving families, and focus on the quirks of the killer to pique interest. Therefore, we forget the gruesomeness and real-life impact these situations inflict on people, and we become desensitized to it. Once we’re desensitized, we see more intense thrills. Take a peek at our GKIS articles Does Social Media Promote Serial Killer Obsessions Through Murderer Fan Accounts? and Do Netflix Serial Killer Exposés Cause Kids to Romanticize Murderers? if you want to learn more about the shocking truth surrounding murderer glamorization. Writing to inmates is no exception to this normalization and we’re likely to see a bigger rise in these trends.

What is WriteAPrisoner?

WriteAPrisoner.com is a website that lists profiles for inmates who are seeking pen pals. Each profile displays an inmate’s name, gender, age, race, what crime they committed, and an ‘about me’ section where they can write whatever they want. Inmates’ addresses are also listed on the profile.

The website has filters that make it easy for users to narrow down a certain type of person they’re looking for. It also lets people see specific info like what inmates are low on mail, which have recently created a profile, and which inmates are on death row.

Dangers of Writing an Inmate

WriteAPrisoner’s main danger is no age verification for writing to someone on the site. Although WriteAPrisoner encourages only people over 18 to write, anyone can access an inmate’s address by setting up a free account.

Another dangerous aspect of WriteAPrisoner is regarding an inmate’s crime. WriteAPrisoner does not discriminate when it comes to inmate charges. So, inmates with any charges like murder, sexual assault, or domestic violence can all have profiles.

On a similar note, WriteAPrisoner requires inmates to list the crimes they committed. WriteAPrisoner verifies these crimes to make sure they are truly the ones committed by the inmate. However, an inmate’s profile can go live before WriteAPrisoner verifies their crime, so you may think you’re writing to a non-violent inmate when you really are.

Other risks that come along with writing to an inmate include being scammed. Many inmates on pen-pal websites claim to be seeking friendships, but really only want to correspond so they can ask for favors or money. Although not the case for all pen-pal friendships, relationships can turn hostile once an inmate figures out you won’t be supporting them financially.

A common misconception among those who write to inmates is that it’s safe because they’re locked away. However, we tend to forget that inmates have friends and family outside of prison. Although it might not be common, an inmate can use their external sources to harm you if your relationship with them goes sour.

Other risks you may face when writing to an inmate include:

Having your address exposed to other inmates
Having your personal letters and photos passed around
Engaging with a dangerous person
Being manipulated or scammed

How Can I Protect My Child from These Relationships?

GKIS does not recommend that your child write to an inmate. Although it may seem like a kind gesture, you face several risks when writing to one. Preventive practice is best, so we encourage you to engage in open conversation with your child about the content they’re viewing with our free GKIS Connected Family Agreement.

Website monitoring and filtering can play a big part in your child’s safety. If you’re not sure where to start, we recommend checking out our GKIS Screen Safety Essentials Course, a tool that grants you access to all of GKIS’ parenting courses. These courses help you teach your children to navigate the internet cautiously, instill digital resilience, and avoid digital injury. Get the ball rolling by sitting down with your child and asking what websites give them red flags and why.

Thanks to CSUCI intern Samantha Sanchez for researching inmate pen-pal sites and preparing this article.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Dr. Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.

Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty

GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] Love During Lockup

Photo Credits

Emiliano Bar via Unsplash (https://unsplash.com/photos/empty-prisoner-cell-OeAWU9VSHzo)

Eugene Chystiakov via Unsplash (https://unsplash.com/photos/person-writing-on-white-paper-wcMysLw5ROM)

Bernd Dittrich via Unsplash (https://unsplash.com/photos/text-DT71hAJoIJM)

Pornography Blocking Sites and a Firsthand Account of Pornography Addiction

December 4, 2023 by Samantha Sanchez

It’s no secret that porn has taken over the virtual world. But many aren’t aware that their tweens and teens are at risk for porn addiction. Today we’re looking at a candid first-hand account of someone whose porn addiction started at the age of 12. We’re also taking a glimpse at porn-blocking sites and our tips for recovery. If you’d like to find out what it takes to protect your kid from the dangers of the net and learn info on parental controls and monitoring, check out our GKIS Screen Safety Toolkit.

The Dangers of Porn

As mentioned in our article Online Pornography’s Impact on Kids and Teens, pornography consumption has grown. With adult sites like Pornhub growing more popular, our youth are at risk of developing a porn addiction more than ever.

According to Dr. Bennett, the demographic most at risk for porn addiction is adolescents with troubled familial relations.[1] For years, the common stereotype was that mainly boys were at risk for porn addiction. But times have changed. Girls are just as present on the internet, meaning all our youth are at risk for developing a porn addiction.

In the Online Pornography’s Impact on Kids and Teens article, Dr. B goes over the effects of regular pornography consumption, which could include the following:

Earlier sexual intercourse
Normalization of violence against women
Sexual aggression
Desensitization and habituation (this means the user may get used to less extreme content and will have to view more extreme content to get the same feeling of satisfaction.)
Hypersexual Disorder, is a disorder that causes one to engage in or think about sex to the point that it affects their life.[2]

For a deeper dive into porn addiction and how it can affect your child, check out Dr. B’s book, Screen Time in the Meantime: A Parenting Guide to Getting Kids Internet Safe.

A Firsthand Account of Pornography Addiction

Chase is a former pornography addict. He opened up and gave us insight into what it’s like being addicted and how it affected his mental health.

“When I was addicted to pornography, I think I was about 12 or 13 years old. It lasted until I turned 23 and it was a daily occurrence. I was consuming porn in different forms around 3 to 4 times a day,” he said.

Chase claimed that he got used to consuming porn quickly and talked about how it became a demanding habit. “It felt very infectious to my lifestyle. I’d pick up the phone and have to indulge in porn. Done doing a specific activity? Browsing [porn] again. It felt like if I didn’t get as much satisfaction from a ‘session,’ the next session had to fit a specific theme or fetish.”

Chase discussed how his porn addiction started creeping into other places in his life, saying “It got so bad to the point where it infected other things that aren’t even related to it in the first place. Looking up specific people, fetishes, and at its worst, trying to find easier avenues or different ways to access content. It was bad.”

He got even more candid with us, explaining how the addiction became mentally and physically invasive. “I think it affected my mental state very much. I don’t have too much experience in mental challenges when it comes to myself anyway, but it impacted my ability to follow daily habits and schedules, and at its worst, caused me to cancel plans.”

When asked about his advice for addiction prevention advice for those suffering from porn addiction, he replied “It’d be to not create any accounts for anything porn related. Limit yourself slowly over time, and don’t let yourself lose sight of what the future version you have of yourself would do, and slowly become that. You aren’t alone and reach out for help if you need it.”

Shame and How It Prevents Recovery

Because of the taboo nature of pornography, many people battling porn addictions experience feelings of shame and guilt. It’s why most people keep their addiction hidden for so long before seeking help. Some experience shame so much that they never seek help.

We see shame as a huge problem. In a study titled “Hidden in shame: Heterosexual men’s experiences of self-perceived problematic pornography use,”15 men were interviewed about their experience with porn. Nearly all of them stated that they grew up never talking or learning about sex education with their parents. They also stated that viewing pornography is taboo and it was difficult for them to seek help due to fear of rejection.[3]

One participant even sought help through a doctor when they were experiencing a reduced libido that stemmed from porn addiction. The doctor not only had nothing to offer him, but he immediately referred him to a male fertility specialist for testosterone treatments that cost him hundreds of dollars.[4]

Porn Site Blockers

Of course, it’s best to not even visit porn sites in the first place. But if you worry you have a problem, here are some porn-blocking tools that may help.

Disclaimer: GKIS is not sponsored or partnered with any of the porn-blocking sites listed.

Canopy

Canopy is an app that blocks porn sites, blocks apps, schedules screen time and downtime, and sexting prevention through image and text detection.[5] Parents or spouses set up their host account on their device followed by the kid/main user account on the kid/user’s device. The parent or spouse oversees the control settings and monitors the other device.

FamiSafe

FamiSafe is another app that blocks porn websites on any device. Like Canopy, parents have access to controls and internet usage. Parents can track social media usage, set screen time limits, track location, monitor keywords searched or sent via text, and more. Parents are notified when their kids are texting about inappropriate topics or when they’re at a location they shouldn’t be.[6]

CovenantEyes and the Victory App

CovenantEyes is a porn detector and blocker. It’s paired with its companion tool, the Victory app, to scan for suspicious activity, send reminders and check-ins, and issue mini-courses to see your progress.[7] CovenantEyes also offers Christian resources for followers struggling with porn addiction.

GKIS Tips for the Road to Recovery

Porn-blocking sites are useful but not foolproof. So, GKIS has tips for parents of children suffering from porn addiction.

It is healthy and appropriate for children to be curious about the human body and sexuality. For tips about how to offer shame-free sex education, check out our 4-article series starting with 6 Parenting Tips for Making Sex Ed Easier!
In addition to using home-setup strategies detailed in our Connected Family Course and parental monitoring tools listed in our Screen Safety Toolkit, consistently spot-check your child’s screen device. Talking to your child about spot-checking may steer them away from adult content since they know their device may be checked anytime.
Let them know this is the family policy before you buy them screen devices. That way they won’t feel lied to, betrayed, or spied upon if you do find questionable content. And if you do find something, allow that to be a teaching opportunity rather than a punishing opportunity. Your best safety tool is a healthy, collaborative parent-child relationship.
Limiting time on specific apps may be a useful tool for recovery. Apps like Instagram, Twitter, and Reddit are some of the most popular apps for adult film stars to promote their content. (Most smartphones report the time used on each app in ‘Settings.’)
A reward system for good progress may be of good use for porn addiction recovery. Although it may seem like an old-fashioned method, rewarding good behavior has been researched and proven to be effective. Whether it’s a new book, dinner at their favorite restaurant, or a trip to the movies, rewards (with verbal affirmations) can give your child the motivation to stay on the path to recovery.
If you are considering allowing social media apps for your tween or teen, our Social Media Readiness Course offers information about the risks of digital injury and helpful psychological wellness tools as well!

Battling pornography addiction is hard for anyone, let alone our youth. Whether you have a teen or tween battling addiction or simply want to help them surf the internet safely, GKIS has multiple resources to help you get there. Whether you’re utilizing our Screen Safety Toolkit or simply giving our sex ed articles a read, GKIS is here to make it a smoother journey for you.

A special thanks to Chase for sharing his story.

Thanks to CSUCI intern Samantha Sanchez for preparing this article and researching porn addiction.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
Onward to More Awesome Parenting

Dr. Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.

Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty

GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] Online Pornography’s Impact on Kids and Teens (https://getkidsinternetsafe.com/porn/)

[2] Screentime in the Meantime: A Parenting Guide to Get Kids and Teens Internet Safe (https://getkidsinternetsafe.com/parenting-guide/)

[3] Sniewski, L., & Farvid, P. (2020). Hidden in shame: Heterosexual men’s experiences of self-perceived problematic pornography use. Psychology of Men & Masculinities, 21(2), 201–212. https://doi-org.ezproxy.csuci.edu/10.1037/men0000232

[4] Ibid.

[5] Canopy (https://canopy.us/2023/02/16/best-porn-blocker/)

[6] FamiSafe (https://canopy.us/2023/02/16/best-porn-blocker/)

[7] CovenantEyes (https://www.covenanteyes.com/how-it-works/)

Photo Credits

Charlesdeluvio via Unsplash (https://unsplash.com/photos/hand-mannequin-holding-green-cactus-plant-RoB4hHjW_fc)

Franco Alva via Unsplash (https://unsplash.com/photos/man-in-black-t-shirt-using-black-laptop-computer-aqFzxyC3rf8)

Annie Spratt via Unsplash (https://unsplash.com/photos/man-in-black-t-shirt-lying-on-couch-rmKkZqnVtk4)

Is Your Child Falling in Love with a Bot?

October 19, 2023 by Samantha Sanchez

Online entertainment is getting more and more advanced. We’ve come up with just about anything from video games to robots. But the one thing you may not yet know about is the fact that more kids are spending time with online robots instead of their human friends. In today’s GKIS article, we’re doing a deep dive into Character.AI, a popular website that lets subscribers virtually date a robot. We’ll go over how it’s being used, the dangers of it, and our thoughts on the site. Before letting your child use just any new and popular app, we recommend our Screen Safety Essentials Course for info on how to navigate the internet safely for the whole family.

Artificial Intelligence and Bots

Before we dive deep into the world of C.AI, we’ll want to go over some key terms.

Artificial Intelligence refers to the capability of computer systems or algorithms to imitate intelligent human behavior.[1]

A bot is a computer program or character (as in a game) designed to mimic the actions of a person.[2] A bot is a form of artificial intelligence.

NSFW refers to “not safe (or suitable) for work.” NSFW is used to warn someone that a website, image, message, etc., is not suitable for viewing at most places of employment.[3]

What is C.AI?

Character.AI is a website made by Noam Shazeer and Daniel De Freitas that allows users to chat with bots. The C.AI website launched in September 2022, and the app was released in May 2023. In its first week of being launched, the app got 1.7 million downloads. [4]

C.AI uses artificial intelligence to let you create characters and talk to them. You can create original characters, base yours off a character from a TV show or movie, or base your character off a real person.

C.AI became popular when teens started showing their conversations with the C.AI bots on TikTok. Many teens showed romantic and sensual conversations they had with their bots. Week after week, teens all over the world began to fall in love with their new artificial friends.

How Teens Are Using C.AI

Users create a free account, and then choose from a list of characters to talk to or make their own. Users can talk about whatever they want with the bot, and it will reply with human-like responses. Pre-made characters have their own set personality that users cannot change.

To make their own custom bot, users choose a name for their character and then upload an image to give the bot a ‘face.’ Users can talk with the bot about any topic. When the bot responds, users rate the bot’s responses with 1-5 stars. After some time, the bot will use the user’s ratings to figure out what personality they want it to have.

Users can make their bots private only for them or public for anyone to use. However, all chats between a person and a bot are private.

The Dangerous Side of C.AI

Using these bots may seem like a fun idea for kids, but there are a lot of risks that come with them.

Data Storage

A major risk is that C.AI stores the information and texts you share with the character bots.

C.AI claims that no real person reads this information. However, this is still dangerous for privacy reasons. If the website or app were hacked, hackers can do whatever they want with users’ information. This puts all users at major risk when using the site.

No Age Verification and Exposing Minors to NSFW Content

C.AI encourages its users to be 13 years old or older, but there is no age verification within the site or app.[5] This means users can lie about their age to use C.AI.

C.AI claims to not allow sexual conversation between users and bots, but users can bypass this. Users can misspell certain words or add extra spaces to words to bypass the NSFW filter. The bot knows what word you’re trying to say, so it will reply with NSFW responses. Users can have detailed sexual conversations with the bots. The dangerous part of this is that many of C.AI’s users are minors.

Effects on Children’s Relationships

Users can speak romantically with the bots, and the bots will respond with romantic messages. The more kids use these bots, the higher chance they have of becoming dependent on them. Children’s brains are impressionable, and they absorb information quickly. Some kids may prefer to engage in these fake relationships instead of relationships with real people.

Using these bots could also create social anxiety. Users know what to expect when talking with a bot since the bot’s personality is pre-set. However, real people in the outside world are unpredictable. The uncertainty of real conversations could make users shy, anxious, and avoidant, especially if they replace real-life challenging practices with safe and easy online practices.

Other risks include:

Disappointment in real-life relationships with others
Depression
Isolation
Loss of social skills

GKIS Thoughts On C.AI

GKIS rates C.AI as a red-light website. This means it is not recommended for children under the age of 18 to use. We came to this conclusion because it lacks age verification and exposes minors to NSFW content. However, it could be slightly safer if parents monitor their children’s interactions with the bots. If you’re worried about what other dangerous sites your child may be visiting, consider checking out our article on red-light websites.

GKIS encourages parents to talk to their children about what topics are safe to discuss if they use C.AI. Before making a decision to use the site, we recommend checking out the GKIS Social Media Readiness Training course. It helps teens and tweens learn the red flags of social media and teaches them valuable psychological wellness skills.

Thanks to CSUCI intern Samantha Sanchez for researching Character.AI and preparing this article.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Dr. Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] Artificial Intelligence – Merriam Webster

[2] Bot – Merriam Webster

[3] NSFW – Merriam-Webster

[4] Character.AI

[5] C.AI Age Requirement

Photo Credits

Pete Linforth via Pixabay https://pixabay.com/illustrations/connection-love-modern-kiss-human-4848255/

Samantha Sanchez (Image #2)

Adrian Swancar via Unsplash https://unsplash.com/photos/JXXdS4gbCTI

The GKIS Sensible Parent’s Guide to BeReal

October 11, 2023 by Samantha Sanchez

If you’re a parent, you know how much kids use social media. Apps are everywhere, and they’re becoming more popular. BeReal is a social media app that aims to “spotlight someone who’s living in the moment, going for it, celebrating life and all its weird/wonderful chaotic energy.”[1] Teens and tweens are falling in love with BeReal and its positive message. In this article, we’re covering what you need to know about BeReal. Does it allow harmful content? Are we ready to handle the risks that may come with it? Learning about social media can be tricky, but the GKIS Social Media Readiness Course helps teens and tweens learn the risks of social media and practice good psychological wellness. Read on for more info on this new popular app.

What is BeReal?

BeReal is a French social media app released in 2020 by Alexis Barreyat and Kevin Perreau that allows users to post real-time photos taken from the front and back phone cameras at the same time.[2]

BeReal’s mission is to “create an authentic world that keeps you connected with the people you really care about.”[3] It encourages users to live in the moment and stay away from harmful filters and trends. BeReal currently has over 6 million users a day.[4] It became popular in 2020 when teens on TikTok started posting their BeReals with celebrities and influencers.

How to Use BeReal

BeReal is easy to use. Users receive alerts at random times during the day to take a photo of what they’re doing.

Once alerted, users have two minutes to take their photo and post it. If they post on time, they can take two more BeReals that day. If they post late, they only get one photo op that day.

Although BeReal users can’t upload images from their photo albums, they can react and comment on friends’ photos or save their reaction photos to be re-used on their friends’ future BeReals.

Benefits of Using BeReal

No Filters

BeReal’s main benefit is that its layout forces users to post with no slimming, skin-lightening, or makeup filters. Social media filters have been found to lead to insecurity, depression, and more harmful effects. Check out our GKIS articles “Influencers Hurt Child Self-Esteem by Overusing Filters” and “Beauty Filters Don’t Embrace Brown Beauty: The Rise of Colorism” to learn more about the dangers of filters.

No Likes

On BeReal, there is no “Like” button. Other apps like Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok show the amount of likes someone gets on their post. It’s no secret that most children think how many likes they get contributes to how cool they are. BeReal takes away this feature, making it less of a popularity contest.

Private Accounts

When you make your BeReal account, it automatically makes your profile private. Users must approve friend requests for you to see their posts.

Risks of Using BeReal

Location and Time Sharing

Like any app, there are some risks to using BeReal. BeReal posts include the city in which the user took the photo. It also includes a timestamp of when they took the photo.

Public Photos

Another risk is that you have the option to make your individual BeReals public for friends of friends to see. Friends of friends will not see your account, but an individual BeReal you posted may show up on their feed.

Other Risks

Other risks to using BeReal include:

Being or feeling pressured to share
Viewing inappropriate content
Experiencing unwanted contact
Oversharing

Privacy and Safety Options

Account Privacy

BeReal automatically makes your profile private when you sign up. Friendships must be approved by each user, so users can deny anyone access to their profile.

Photo Sharing

You can make an individual BeReal post public or private. To make it private, take a photo and click “My friends only” before posting.

To make it public, take a photo and click “My friends + their friends.” This allows friends of your friends to see your BeReals.

Location Privacy

BeReal shares the location of each photo when posted, but we can fix that. Users can turn off the location feature by taking a photo, clicking on “location,” and then selecting “location off” before posting.

Report and Block Inappropriate Users and Posts

If you see a post you don’t like, click on the three dots in the corner of the photo and click “Report this BeReal.” This means BeReal will no longer show you that post or any other posts from that person.

If you see a lot of inappropriate posts from a user, you can remove them as a friend or block their account. This stops you from seeing their posts and stops them from seeing yours.

GKIS Safety Ideas

BeReal’s features don’t make it the healthiest app for screen time, but it’s a step above other apps. Check out Dr. Bennett’s book, GKIS Screen Time in the Mean Time: A Parenting Guide to Getting Kids and Teens Internet Safe to learn what you need to know before your kids use social media.
Our GKIS Screen Safety Toolkit is also a great resource guide to help parents best manage their kids’ screen device use.

Thanks to CSUCI intern Samantha Sanchez for researching BeReal and preparing this article.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph. D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] BeReal Realest Person Announcement

[2] BeReal

[3] BeReal – Our Mission and Values

[4] BeReal Revenue and Usage Statistics (2023)

Photo Credits

Photo by Ottr Dan (https://unsplash.com/photos/0EFrV9Pgvb8)

Photo by Nathan Dumlao (https://unsplash.com/photos/ItsW7gT8iR0)

Photo by Bruno Gomiero (https://unsplash.com/photos/jp7J14W9sSg)

Parents of Student Athletes Struggle to Cope with Critical Tweets

May 16, 2023 by Keith Ferries

If you are a parent reading this, you understand how much we care about our children. Thirty-seven percent of kids have been a victim of cyberbullying, and 30% have reported cyberbullying to be an ongoing situation.[1] When we think of cyberbullying, we think of one teenager making online comments about another teen. But imagine a situation where your young adult child is repeatedly having to endure nasty remarks from other adults like it is in the case of college athletes. Some argue that is part of the fame. But is it also part of childhood? We don’t think so at GKIS. For that reason, we created our Social Media Readiness Course for tweens and teens to help your kids recognize the signs of online abuse and how to avoid it. Today’s GKIS article covers what parents of college athletes may encounter on Twitter as well as how to counterbalance the negativity.

Social Media in the Lives of College Athletes

In our GKIS article “When Young Athletes Look to Twitter to Showcase Talent and Track Sports News: An Inside Look,” we discussed the role social media plays in a young athlete’s life and how they learn to cope with it.
Our interviewee John said he learned how to detox from social media on occasion and also how to use cyberbullying as motivation. But when you’re a parent and hear something being said negatively toward your child, even if your child is an adult, it’s hard not to take that personally. There’s no protection from it, and if you jump to their aid online, it might ultimately harm them. College and professional teams don’t want to deal with online drama coming from parents. But sometimes, enough is enough…or is it?

When Parents Can’t Take the Online Attacks Anymore

Randi Mahomes, the mother of Super Bowl champion Patrick Mahomes, took to Twitter in 2021 to express her displeasure at a hit her son took from an opposing player. Arguably, she is in a reasonable position to speak her mind whether we agree with it or not because her son is already playing at the highest level.

But our division one college football player John’s parents weren’t so lucky. If someone was displeased with how John played a game and tweeted, “I hope your dog eats chocolate and gets really sick and throws up on your socks.”[2] (a tweet 7-time Superbowl champion Tom Brady once got), John’s parents must idly stand by and watch people sling mud at their child.

John’s mother Mary recalls, “The hardest one was seeing a tweet saying John was a ‘piece of shit’ after he had a bad game. Most of the time, I would listen to John and let it be, but I couldn’t with that comment. I had to speak my mind and tweet back.” She elaborated, “A few Twitter exchanges went back and forth, and then I let it go after speaking my mind.”

Mary said that some situations were more complicated than others, and she recalls many days being in tears over Twitter comments. She said a particularly hard day was when they read on Twitter that the college John had decided to go with unexpectedly selected a different quarterback. The tweet went out before John ever got a personal call saying the spot that he was offered was no longer available. It was heartbreaking, considering that he had turned down other offers in favor of this one, some of those offers were no longer available. After many conversations with the college scout prior to the tweet that seemed like a guarantee is followed with silence, it was hurtful.

Mary said, “About 80% of the time, the tweets were very positive. John had a good record, so it was more good than bad.” She said she still uses Twitter because she has other interests in the app, not just sports. Her husband, however, has since deleted the app now that their son is done with his athletic college career.

Parents are proud of their children and love to hear positive things. They don’t want to read tweets from strangers saying how their child isn’t trying hard enough or how they lost the big game for the team. Parents see firsthand how much their child loves the game, how hard they work, and how much sacrifice they give up competing at a top level. Because online education starts with parents, we created our Screen Safety Essentials Course for parents and families. Knowing what troubles lurk online will help parents teach their kids what they need to know to avoid digital injury and problem-solve through difficult online situations.

Other Ideas for How to Work Around Unwanted Negativity

Take regular breaks from social media. Our GKIS article, Start Fall Fresh With a Cleansing Digital Detox is a great article to help you take that first step.
Keep a positive dialogue going with your child about the pressures that arise from being an athlete with anonymous fans.
Adopt our free Connected Family Agreement, a simple tool that sets reasonable online limits and feeds a cooperative family alliance when it comes to online decisions.
Filter and manage online content with our Screen Safety Toolkit. This resource guide helps you build a customized set of parental controls for filtering and monitoring online content.
Set designated times throughout the week when everyone spends time together without their devices. Share about your offline and online lives to stay connected.

Thanks to C SUCI intern Keith Ferries for doing the research and writing this article.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

*Mary is a fictional name to maintain anonymity.

Works Cited

[1] Patchin, J. W., Ph.D. (2019, July 9). 2019 Cyberbullying Data. https://cyberbullying.org/2019-cyberbullying-data

[2] Kimble, L. (2021, February 5). Tom Brady Reads Mean Tweets About Himself Ahead of Super Bowl 2021. People.com. https://people.com/sports/super-bowl-2021-tom-brady-reads-mean-tweets/

Photo Credits

[1] Photographer Unknown https://www.pexels.com/photo/white-ceramic-teacup-beside-black-iphone-5-on-brown-wooden-table-58639/

[2] Karolina Grabowska
https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-woman-with-a-coffee-cup-in-front-of-a-laptop-7320744/

[3] Nicola Barts
https://www.pexels.com/photo/stressed-beard-black-man-working-on-laptop-7925881/