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The Hidden Risks of Over-monitoring Kids Online

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Parents feel a heavy burden to protect their kids from online harm. Threats such as cyber-bullying, predators, and unwanted content are real, and it’s understandable to want to put tight restrictions in place. But what if the very tools we use to protect our children are creating unintended consequences? Over-monitoring can undermine trust, limit children’s development of independence and online resilience, and even expose privacy vulnerabilities. Here’s what the research shows and how parents can find the perfect balance.

Where did we go wrong?

66% of parents surveyed say that parenting is harder today than 20 years ago, and digital technology is to blame.[1] Parents monitor in a variety of ways, including limiting screen time, checking websites, requiring password access, using GPS tracking, and checking social media following/friending.[1] Yes, tighter supervision sounds like a necessary solution in a world full of endless apps, social networks, and online risks, but is it?

A study conducted by the University of Central Florida found that parental-control apps, which allow for deep monitoring of children’s online activities, were associated with more, not fewer, online risks for teens. More specifically, the study found that teens whose parents used these apps reported unwanted explicit content, online harassment, and sexual solicitations. This doesn’t mean monitoring caused the risks; instead, parents often turn to these apps because their teens are already encountering online issues. The researchers concluded that instead of building digital competence and trust, many of these apps fostered a control-heavy and distrusting family environment.[2] So, instead of turning to these apps for help, try Dr. Bennett’s Connected Family Course.

Another study of children’s apps found that even “family-friendly” apps often include trackers, location permissions, or mislabeling of age ratings.[4] Further, children and teens with over-monitoring parents saw their parents as intrusive and were more likely to hide, deceive, and intentionally misbehave.[4] All in all, when monitoring feels oppressive, kids may respond by hiding and lying rather than being open and honest.

What does that mean for parents?

If the goal is safety, forced online surveillance may undermine the trust between parent and child and may hinder the open and honest communication we should be working to establish. As we teach in our Screen Safety Essentials Course for families, just implementing controls isn’t enough. One of the most damaging costs of over-monitoring is to trust and self-regulation. When children know they are constantly being watched, they may feel that their parents don’t believe they are capable of making responsible choices. That can lead to secrecy, feelings of giving up on communicating openly, and a lack of connection or engagement with parents.

“Why tell mom and dad if they won’t believe me anyway?”

I found myself asking this exact question at 12 years old when I made my first Facebook account and kept it a secret. I didn’t want to get in trouble, and I wanted to connect with my friends outside of school. I felt left out. But, when I asked my mom if I could open my own account, she said no. When I asked her why, she had no answer. So, I took it upon myself to create an account anyway.

I lied about my age so that I could create the account without parental supervision, and I kept it a secret. I would use it when she was not paying attention. My intentions were pure, and I did use it to connect with friends. But, of course, like with all online platforms, creepy older men would try to befriend me or message me.

GetKidsInternetSafe’s mission is to improve parent-child relationships AND screen safety. Had my mom and I had access to the GKIS Social Media Readiness Course, we would have been able to find a safer middle ground for me to connect to my friends. Not only would I have learned more about screen safety and been better equipped to solve online problems independently, but my parents and I would have engaged in healthier conversations and maybe even gotten closer. Ultimately, I would have been prepared to protect myself from getting into a relationship with a 17-year-old. Read The Hidden Dangers of Online Grooming: I Was Only 13, to find out how my lack of preparation for having social media resulted in me forming a premature physical relationship with a young man who was four years older than me at that time.

How Can We Do Better?

One of the most effective ways to guide children safely online isn’t through hidden surveillance, but through connection, conversation, and shared agreements. When parents begin by listening to their children about what worries them, what they enjoy, and what feels out of control, they build a foundation of trust. That trust becomes the launch pad for screen-time guidelines, digital boundaries, and the kind of autonomy children need to develop resilience. GKIS emphasizes this approach through its Connected Family Screen Agreement, a free tool designed to invite open dialogue instead of enforcing silence. It helps kids understand why parents have concerns and utilize safety tools and techniques.

Instead of solely relying on rigid controls, the path to healthier online habits includes tools, skill-building, and gradual transition. GKIS’s Screen Safety Toolkit isn’t a spy-kit; it’s a resource for families to use as practical checklists, conversational prompts, and strategies to empower children rather than just restricting them.

By investing in tools like this, parents can shift from pushing their kids to secrecy to creating a trusting relationship through honest communication. This way, your child knows that they are safe, supported, and ready to navigate the digital world with you by their side.

 

Thanks to CSUCI intern, Elaha Qudratulla, for researching and sharing an important story about how online safety is more important than online policing.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2020/07/28/parenting-children-in-the-age-of-screens/

[2] https://www.ucf.edu/news/apps-keep-children-safe-online-may-counterproductive/

[3] https://arxiv.org/pdf/2303.09008

[4] https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0140197117302051

 

Photos Cited

[1] Rizki Kurniawan

[2] Marten Newhall

[3] Tasha Kostyuk

[4] Vitaly Gariev

https://unsplash.com/

Likes and Lies: The Hidden Dangers of Your Child’s Feed

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Your child’s social media feed knows more about them than you do. It knows when they’re sad, when they’re bored, and exactly what will keep them doom-scrolling. What started as a tool to share selfies is now a billion-dollar system designed to study their every click. It used to be strangers in parks, but now, it’s the threat in your child’s pocket. Instagram and Snapchat look like fun and harmless apps, but their design is all but innocent. Behind every selfie and snap streak is an algorithm trained to hijack your child’s attention, exploit their self-esteem, and guide their decisions. Today, this function serves as a 24/7 behavioral lab where your child is the test dummy. Every tap and swipe are testing what makes influences them or makes them click and buy.[1]

Before the Storm: When Social Media Felt Safe

When Instagram launched in 2010, its focus was to bring users together, show off talent, share good news, and discover something new. Snapchat followed shortly after, allowing people to share moments in real time, making it feel like you can never be too far away to keep up a connection.[2] For a while, both platforms served as exciting digital spaces for teens to express themselves, keep up with friends, and build their identity during a critical stage of development. That was before the algorithms took over.

Your Child, The Algorithms’ Prey

With time, social media platforms changed and added features to collect more user data and became more addictive. For example, Instagram is no longer a walled garden where users only view the content they search for. Now your child is offered content that their algorithm thinks will keep them hooked on scrolling.

According to the Google Dictionary, an algorithm is a process of calculations, which is usually followed by a computer, to generate problem-solving operations.[3]

Similar to gambling, teens get hooked not by the actual content, but by the mere possibility of upcoming content that can spike their interest for a few seconds longer.[4] Teenage brains are especially vulnerable to dopamine-driven design. Each like or snap streak triggers a small release of dopamine (the brain’s reward chemical).

These dopamine hits reinforce behavior, which grows the addiction to likes, snaps, and screen time. Studies show that likes on social media activate the brain’s reward center the same way winning money or eating chocolate does. The effect is often strongest in adolescents.[5] Check out a similar article on What “Going Viral” Does to Your Brain and Self-Esteem.

Snapchat’s “discover” and “spotlight” tabs work similarly, offering endless videos of curated, attention-grabbing content. These algorithms are powered by machine learning models trained on user data, so that every like, pause, screenshot, and swipe is noted and catered to. Eventually, all of this info is used to create a feed of things your child’s eyes and attention will be glued to for hours on end.

Also, Snapchat’s infamous “Snapsteaks” turn communication into an obligation. Teens often feel pressure to maintain streaks daily, even with people they barely know, just to avoid losing their digital relationships.

Social media has always been performative to some degree. But algorithms now reward exaggerated, filtered, and fake versions of life. Filters that alter facial features and bodies have made it harder for teens to see the difference between real and edited images. The compare and despair dynamic can lead to poor self-image and increasing dissatisfaction among vulnerable kids and teens. External validation through repeated use of social media is linked to increased anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem in adolescents.[6] Check out this GKIS article on how Beauty Filters Don’t Embrace Brown Beauty: The Rise of Colorism.

Take Back the Power

As tempting as it is to ban the use of these apps altogether, it can backfire. Overly punitive responses can promote child secrecy and risky behavior, especially as teens are coming into their own and learning to be more and more independent. Get ahead of it and be their ally by educating them about the hidden risks. Tackle this problem together by taking The GKIS Social Media Readiness Course. Our online course was created for tweens and teens to help them learn safer social media habits and practice better emotional wellness. With these skills, when they come in contact with harmful social media content, they will have their shields up.

 

Thanks to CSUCI intern, Elaha Qudratulla, for researching and co-writing this article. Check out more of her work here on GKIS:

The Hidden Dangers of Online Grooming: I Was Only 13

Netflix Documentary, Bad Influencer, Exposes Parent Producer Abusing Child Influencers

 

 

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1]https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/sociology/articles/10.3389/fsoc.2020.599270/full

[2]https://doi.org/10.1080/1369118X.2015.1084349

[3]https://www.google.com/search?q=definition+of+an+algorithm&rlz=1C1GCEU_enUS947US947&oq=definition+of+an+algorithm+&aqs=chrome..69i57j0i512j0i22i30l8.10231j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

[4]https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tics.2015.09.004

[5]https://doi.org/10.1111/cdev.12838

[6]https://doi.org/10.1080/02673843.2019.1590851

Photos Cited

[Header] Gaspar Uhas on Unsplash

[2] Karsten Winegeart on Unsplash

[3] Soheb Zaidi on Unsplash

[4] Adrian Swancar on Unsplash

[5] Jeffery Kennan on Unsplash

https://unsplash.com/

Is VRChat Safe for Kids? 

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Virtual Reality is a new online platform that uses headset displays to fully immerse users in online environments. This unique technology has pushed boundaries and can be dangerous for kids. Recent reports detail unsafe environments and sexual exploitation within the platform. To keep kids safe, we must understand the risks that come with virtual reality. A great start to teaching tweens and teens about responsible screen use is our Social Media Readiness Course. This fully online course helps minimize the risk of digital injuries and shows tweens and teens how to avoid dangers online. 

What is VRChat?

With over 80,000 daily users, VRChat is one of the most popular online social platforms.[1] When people typically think of virtual reality, they most commonly think of VRChat. According to community guidelines on its website, VRchat allows the player to be anything or anyone through 3D avatars. You can have a different face or name, and even change your voice. Players have unrestricted access to countless other users within the app.[2] Connecting to others across the web has never been easier.

Here lies the rising popularity of VRChat! Its interface brings a sense that you are hanging out with other users due to lip-syncing and other expressive avatar controls. Anything from simple hangouts to scenarios beyond imagination is accessible. For this reason, it is quickly gaining traction as the future of online social interactions. For those who have trouble socializing, the online space even provides a way to learn to combat social challenges and anxieties in the real world.[3] For many, this virtual reality chat immersion has helped change their social lives for the better. 

Safety Features on VRChat

Included in the platform is a tiered system known as the Trust System. This system is integrated for all players to help identify unsafe users who aim to detract from the online experience. Labels are given and visible to all, ranging from “New User” to “Trusted User” and even “Nuisance” for the players creating a poor environment. A more favorable ranking is dependent on a variety of factors like time spent playing, content additions, and the amount of connected users. Simply put, anyone can build a positive reputation on the app by continuously playing the game without any reported negative interactions.[4]

VRChat rules state that use is not permitted for kids under 13, and those aged 13 to 17 must get parental permission to play. However, there is no online requirement for proof of age or parent permission other than a checkbox. Parental controls can restrict access to certain content. For example, unwanted avatars, specific users, and custom animations can all be toggled on or off. General safety features like muting, blocking, and reporting are also available. Additionally, a “Safe Mode” can be used which removes all users and prevents user-to-user communications. App developers encourage parents to inform their children to use these tools to limit unwanted interactions and stay safe on the platform.[5] 

Lack of Protection for Kids

Despite age restrictions, child protections are weak and can be easily bypassed on VRChat. Recently, a 13-year-old girl was abducted by a 25-year-old man after several meetings on VRChat.[6] The month-long grooming process that occurred before her abduction was only made easier by the unregulated environment. After an extensive search, the child was thankfully discovered unharmed. Still, it took two long days after the child had disappeared to find her.

Research investigators have uncovered other shocking VRChat interactions. For example, by impersonating a 13-year-old girl, researchers were able to freely access a virtual strip club.[7] In this space, sexual paraphernalia was in plain sight. Some of the users were seen trying to coerce others to remove their clothing, while another mix of adult and minor characters were acting out lewd fantasies in large groups, even instructing the researcher to join in. In a separate instance, impersonators came across a 7-year-old girl being surrounded by a group of men joking about taking advantage of them, eventually having to step in to stop the harassment. 

After their findings, the researchers spoke about how uncomfortable many of the situations were. Worse, they described how they felt there were few options readily available to users to combat these situations. When contacted, a spokesperson for VRChat said that the described behavior, if reported, would result in suspensions of the users and terminations of the content.[8] Furthermore, the spokesperson was adamant that user safety was a top priority for the moderation team.

It is clear that virtual reality has brought a realm of freedom and excitement to users. Yet in the wrong hands, it has enabled easier methods of coercion and deviant behaviors. In the past few years, the reported number of online exploitation of children has increased astronomically from 44,155 in 2021 to 186,819 in 2023.[9] Learning to identify the early signs of risk and help prevent this kind of catastrophe is essential. Our GKIS Online Safety Red Flags For Parents is a helpful guide that tells you what behaviors to look for in kids who are being influenced online. 

Virtual reality comes with plenty of pros and cons, check out some of these other GKIS articles to get informed!

Virtual Reality to Treat Phobias

VR Technology is Being Used to Address Domestic Abuse

Thanks to CSUCI intern, Robert Smith for researching and writing this article.

I’m the m om psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Pa renting, 

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] https://metrics.vrchat.community/ 

[2] https://hello.vrchat.com/community-guidelines

[3] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5421394/ 

[4] https://docs.vrchat.com/docs/vrchat-safety-and-trust-system 

https://help.vrchat.com/hc/en-us/articles/33301610887443-Safety-Resources-For-Parents [5]

[6] Pratt, J. (2024) How the Oculus Puts Children at Risk Gabb. https://gabb.com/blog/oculus-risks/ 

[7] Crawford, A. (2022) Investigation of VRChat finds rampant child grooming and other safety issues BBC News https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-60415317 

[8] https://ca.news.yahoo.com/bbc-vrchat-child-safety-report-193124305.html 

[9] https://www.missingkids.org/cybertiplinedata

Photo Credits

Photo by JEshoots (https://www.istockphoto.com/photo/female-in-vr-glasses-enjoying-virtual-reality-gm1354419389-429243220)

Photo by Cottonbro Studio (https://www.istockphoto.com/photo/computer-hacker-stealing-data-from-a-laptop-gm531536951-55434792)

Photo by Kindel Media (https://www.istockphoto.com/photo/happy-family-with-children-relaxing-on-couch-with-laptop-gm1251287023-365122457)

The Hidden Dangers of Online Grooming: I Was Only 13

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Has your child been manipulated and exploited online? Influencing people to send nudes is an example of sexual coercion, and it happens more than you think.[1] A survey found that 36% of participants reported experiencing digital sexual coercion.[2] And too often, it happens to young teens. Statistics say one in 33 kids is approached online, but many don’t report it.[3] Too often when kids come forward, they lose their screen privileges as a result. This punishes kids for seeking help, so they learn to keep scary online problems to themselves. This is my story of being the victim of digital sexual coercion when I was only 13 years old.

He was 17, I was 13

When I was in seventh grade, my PE class overlapped with eleven graders, and that’s where I met Dale. Dale was 17 and new at our school. I was 13,  friendly, outgoing, and happy to introduce myself. Dale added me on Facebook, and we began to get close. My mom didn’t even know I had Facebook because I hid it. But honestly,  if she had a resource like the GKIS Screen Safety Essentials Course, I wouldn’t have been able to hide it from her. I could have skipped this whole trauma. Nothing like GKIS was around back then. I was a sitting duck.

How We Got Close

Within two weeks, Dale and I were Skyping for hours every night. It was awesome. He’d say things like, “You’re so mature for your age,” “You look a lot older than you are,” and “I wish you were older so we could hang out in public.” He made me feel desired and special. Now I know that using flattery to manipulate younger kids makes them more vulnerable to coercion.[4] But then, Dale hyping me up so much gave me a big head. I felt like I was older, more sophisticated, and smarter than kids my age. I loved the attention. I already felt like a little adult.

Over the next few months, we grew closer and closer and started making plans to hang out. He wanted to meet at a “secret” spot across the street from our school. It was at an outdoor bench in a parking lot surrounded by trees which hid us from the view. He made sure we met at different times so we couldn’t get caught. I felt like he was ashamed to be seen with me, and it hurt my feelings so much. During these hang-outs, I discovered what first and second base were. We even talked about what it would be like to have sex. It was exciting for me.

How It Took a Turn for the Worst

Eventually, Dale coached me on how to pose for provocative pictures and convinced me to email them to him. He promised not to show the pictures to anyone and even sent me some of his own. I thought it was safe because he cared about me, and we loved each other.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t long until I found out that he showed my pictures to the boys in my class because they teased me about the colors they saw me wearing in the pictures. It was absolutely horrifying! I was embarrassed. I felt betrayed. I was so sad and angry. I didn’t know what to do, so I just denied it and worked hard to keep my composure. One guy bullied me about it the whole rest of the year. It never got easy.

I was afraid to lose our relationship, so I did not make it a big deal. But I did ask him not to show the photos to anyone ever again. Some of his friends cautioned him, recognizing the age difference. Most of them were nice to me. They acted like they knew I was a little girl with an almost-man. I think some of them felt sorry for me. That was his wake-up call to how wrong it was to be with me.

When I started to feel him pulling away, I sent more pictures to earn his attention. I was completely attached and “in love.” Inevitably, he broke up with me because he was turning 18 soon and did not want to catch a case. I was shattered. I felt unworthy, unwanted, less-than, and like I was not enough. To make matters worse, he began dating a girl who was 15 years old a month after we separated. Watching him grow close to her broke my heart and left knots in my stomach. I was constantly comparing myself to her thinking I was too fat, ugly, and young. I felt used and discarded. I had a hard time focusing on school, friends, or extracurricular activities. For the next four years, I felt like I’d never be in love again. It took a toll on me and made me feel so self-conscious.

My Why

At the time, I felt so alone and misunderstood. Now I see I needed resources like GKIS. Thirteen years later, I researched “digital sexual coercion” and finally felt seen. I feel better after understanding how common this is and inspired to share my story to help other kids and parents avoid what happened to me.

After reflecting on my experience, I realized that open conversations about online interactions could have equipped me with the awareness to recognize red flags. Had I gone through the GKIS Social Media Readiness Course, I would have understood the risks of social media even among my friends. I encourage all parents to empower their children to navigate the digital world safely. This way, you can prevent your child from reliving my worst experience.

Thanks to CSUCI intern Elaha Q for writing this article. Her courage and vulnerability are so impressive. She said writing the article was a healing experience. And crazily, her older “boyfriend” recently reached out to her and apologized. But she also said that she now recognized who he was still phishing for her affection, and it felt “weird.” It made me wonder, do we ever stop feeling vulnerable after experiences like this? Thanks Elaha for being bold and brave and sharing your story.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1]https://womenshealth.gov/relationships-and-safety/other-types/sexual-coercion#:~:text=If%20you%20are%20being%20pressured,someone%20might%20use%20sexual%20coercion:

[2]https://doi.org/10.1016/j.childyouth.2020.105921

[3]https://ovc.ojp.gov/sites/g/files/xyckuh226/files/publications/bulletins/internet_2_2001/internet_2_01_6.html?utm_source=chatgpt.com

[4]https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9292559/

Photos Cited

[Header] Markus Winkler on Unsplash

[1] ethan on Unsplash

[2] Wang Sheeran on Unsplash

[3] Aiden Frazier on Unsplash

https://unsplash.com/

https://stock.adobe.com/images/sexting-sex-during-coronavirus-covid-19-sexual-practices-man-and-woman-hands-show-lingerie-through-their-smartphone-screen/408291146?prev_url=detail

Netflix Documentary, Bad Influencer, Exposes Parent Producer Abusing Child Influencers

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We were hunters and gatherers for 90% of human existence. That means our brains are still wired to prioritize the things that kept us alive when we were living on the land, before the domestication of animals and the construction of cities. One thing that kept us alive was living in a tribe and cooperating. Attracting a tribe and fitting in was a requirement of life. That is why kids and teens are hyper-focused on doing what their friends do and working to be cool and accepted. Online influencers count on this drive to maintain their income streams. One way to attract kids online is to be a kid doing what kids love to do, playing with toys and video games, opening new packages, and hanging out with friends acting goofy. Netflix’s Bad Influencer offers a glimpse of the kid influencer “scene,” and the lengths that some parents will go to attract and keep a following.

What is Bad Influence about?

The limited documentary series has gone viral for good reason. It’s definitely entertaining, but also deeply unsettling. It is a perfect way to raise awareness about how scary a life all about social media can be. Bad Influencer is a documentary that focuses on a tween who becomes an overnight social media star and brings her friends to stardom with her. What started out as a fun hobby quickly turned into a living nightmare. It may seem glamorous to be famous online, until you learn that the child influencers spent the majority of their childhoods working long hours acting out video ideas, risky stunts, and performing pranks that sometimes went too far—all under the pressure of adult producers/parents hungry for views. Check out Intimacy With Minors Encouraged at the Hype House for a similar story of underage exploitation.

SPOILER ALERT: The show takes a chilling turn when the mother of the main character is accused of, and videotaped, sexually exploiting these kids on set by positioning herself as one of the only adults supervising them to control them. Some survived the battle with only a few scars, while the main character is stuck living this nightmare over and over again. It may be funny, exaggerated, and attention-grabbing, but it also paints a dark picture of a digital world where clout matters more than character and children are left to pay the price.

Psychology Behind the Fame Obsession

From a psychological point of view, being an influencer is cool to children because they have a natural need for validation, attention, and social connection.[1] Although the minimum age on most social media platforms is 13, it is reported that children ranging from 8-17 are found scrolling through online platforms soaking up content too mature for their ages.[2] Sadly, unlike real-world relationships, social media platforms offer fast, unfiltered dopamine hits through likes, shares, and views. Without proper guidance, this can make kids tie their self-worth to online numbers, which can result in low self-esteem, fear of missing out (FOMO), performance anxiety, and digital addiction.[3] As a result of social unlimited social media usage, kids can also experience anxiety, depression, and even poor quality of sleep.[4] Counteract this monster and help your child build emotional resilience, red flag awareness, and digital literacy by taking our GKIS Social Media Readiness Training Course. Geared for teens or tweens, it’s the perfect giftbefore that new device or video game.

What You Can Do to Help

Bad Influencer is not just a show; it’s a cautionary tale that shares the pressures kids face online every day. It is easy to get off topic and want to pull the plug on all electronics just to protect your child from their dangers, but that is not always possible. Technology and online platforms are all around us, and it is better to set your child up for success than to try to keep them out of the loop. Connecting with your child over what they find interesting can help create a trusting relationship where you can notice if things start to become a little off. Our free Connected Family Screen Agreement can help you and your child co-create rules around how to safely navigate online platforms. This way your child can thrive in the digital age without losing themselves in it.

 

Thanks to CSUCI intern, Elaha Qudratulla for researching and co-writing this article.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe. Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] https://genomind.com/patients/the-social-media-dilemma-how-childrens-mental-health-may-be-affected/
[2] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37721985/
[3] https://startmywellness.com/2025/02/how-social-media-affects-mental-health/
[4] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11641642/

Photo Credits

[Header] freestock on Unsplash
[2] Leonardo David on Unsplash
[3] Sanket Mishra on Unsplash
[4] Cande Westh on Unsplash
https://unsplash.com/

Bluey Offers Parenting Training Plus So Much More

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With streaming platforms, we have more options for viewing television than ever before. Binge-watching television has become the norm. But how do we know what is good for our kids to watch? Bluey is a show for all ages, even adults. It first came out in Australia in 2018. Then Disney picked it up and aired it in the United States in 2019. Bluey revolves around a husband and father (Bandit), his wife (Chilli), and their two daughters (Bluey and Bingo). There are elements to the program that help with parenting and problem-solving, which we at GetKidsInternetSafe support. Our GetKidsInternetSafe courses are designed to help families connect with cooperative dialogue about screen safety. For families with young kids, our Connected Family Course helps open the lines of communication and set up your home with optimum screen safety. For tweens and teens, we recommend our Social Media Readiness Course. The Readiness Course offers information to help teens better problem-solve independently and recognize the red flags of digital injury. Today’s GKIS article covers the benefits of Bluey and the drama that surrounds the program on social media.

Bluey Portrays Engaged, Playful Parents

Dads on television are too often portrayed to be oafish, heavy-set men who act foolish. We can all think of lazy father characters married to an attractive wives they take for granted but win her over with bumbling charm. Bluey represents fatherhood in a more accurate, positive light. Bandit, the father in Bluey, can occasionally be goofy. But generally, he is a loving, caring father and husband.

Chilli is a loving wife and mother. She is also shown in an independent manner. She is unafraid to ask for some time when she needs a break and is seen going out to play field hockey with a friend. She is strong and loving to her family.

The first child of Bandit and Chili is the title character Bluey. Often children’s shows have the children trying to connive their parents. A refreshing part of the show is Bluey is not trying to get away with anything. She is an energetic child that enjoys playing and using her imagination. Like many children, she has her moments, but with the guidance of her parents, she understands her mistakes.

Bingo is the youngest of the Family. She, like many, looks up to her older sibling but is often involved in the activities. She is not a pest or an antagonist, she feels down sometimes because she may not be able to keep up, but the family often acknowledges her voice.

The Bluey set typically involves kids having playtime using their imagination and involving their parents. We often see them playing make-believe where they may be at a pizzeria or playing with their mom pretending to drive a car. The parents are caring, loving, and look out for each other. This positive portrayal of playtime as an opportunity for coaching and learning is excellent parent and child training. Like the ground-breaking work of Mr. Rogers, Bluey offers useful instruction in the form of family entertainment.

With the pressures of modern life, parenting can be challenging. Although technology makes us more efficient, it also adds a lot of distractions that can get in the way of healthy family relationships. In her book Screen Time in the Mean Time, Dr. Bennett reports that psychology research demonstrates that there has been a 25% decrease in child empathy. She states that parental distraction and outsourcing parenting to screen time may be major contributors to this unwanted change. She elaborates that empathy is not innate, meaning we aren’t born with it. Instead, devoted parents model empathy for their children and instruct them verbally as their kids follow along with them day to day. She proposes that Bluey models the teaching of empathy between parent and child through imaginary play. That benefits not only the kids watching Bluey but their parents too!

Bluey Tackles Challenging Topics

Like Mr. Rogers, Bluey often brings in complex and challenging topics such as coping with death and loss, working through troubling feelings, and much more.

For example, the Bluey episode Whale Watching implies the parents drank too much at a party the night before. The parents try to avoid playing with their kids but ultimately realize how vital their engagement is, resulting in them pushing through their discomfort.

In another episode titled Stumpfest, Chilli teaches Bluey how parents also need space and adults need time with friends. The kids think the dad was mean when digging up a stump with his friends. Taking away something Bluey and her friends wanted to keep and use for themselves. Chilli explains to Bluey that Bandit’s yardwork with his friends was his playtime and bonding with his pals.

Another Bluey episode, Born Yesterday, shows Bandit acting like he was just introduced to the world. The kids enjoy showing him his new surroundings and how to perform in social settings. This episode helps viewers see how much we take social norms for granted and how to explain norms to the younger generation. It also encourages us to slow down, think simply, and enjoy the little things.

Other topics that have been addressed in Bluey include

  • Depression
  • Fear of abandonment
  • Divorce
  • Taking care of your parents
  • Death
  • Work Ethic

Teaching essential concepts like these to kids can be challenging. A great product GKIS offers to help bring the family together is our Screen Safety Essentials Course. Our Essentials Course promotes screen safety and a cooperative and positive parent-child alliance.

Online Conspiracy Theories About Bluey

Typical of the internet, there is social media drama surrounding Bluey. For example, there is online speculation about hidden adult topics within the show. TikToker conspiracy theories about Bluey include speculation that Bluey is a rainbow baby. A rainbow baby is a child born after a miscarriage. There is also speculation that one of the grandparent characters has Alzheimer’s disease and Bingo has celiac disease. An episode was temporarily banned because Bandit passed gas in Bluey’s face, referred to as a fluffy in the show. This episode got pushback, but the real lesson was about being honest and not trying to be sneaky. After viewers and parents realized this, the episode was placed back into the show’s streaming library.

If you find it difficult to play with your kids or integrate challenging topics into play, get your friends together and schedule an online parenting workshop with Dr. Bennett.

Thanks to CSUCI intern Keith Ferries for researching and writing this family-friendly article.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Photo Credits

[1] August de Richelieu https://www.pexels.com/@augsst-de-richelieu/

[2] Cottonbro Studio https://www.pexels.com/photo/girl-in-red-dress-playing-a-wooden-blocks-3662667/

[3] RODNAE Productions https://www.pexels.com/photo/young-family-talking-to-their-parents-6148875/

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