Socialization is a critical aspect to good health for kids and adults.[1][2] That’s why constant connection through social media, chatrooms, texting, and online gaming has become irresistible to us. For help managing in the online world and avoiding costly digital injuries, check out Dr. Bennett’s positive parenting and family coaching videos in our Screen Safety Essentials Course. We all need each other online and off. Afterall, the early people of our species were hunters and gatherers. Having a tribe was critical for our survival. In modern times, with many families living away from extended families and our lives as busy as ever, it’s often hard for adults to make friends. Today’s GKIS article covers the costly results of loneliness and offers suggestions for how to break out of our loneliness and enter the realm of meaningful connectedness.
The Prevalence of Loneliness
Higher rates of loneliness are found among young adults, seniors, those who are visually impaired, victims of abuse, and the unemployed.[3] Due to its prevalence, numerous outlets including Time, Forbes, US News, Cigna Insurance, and the Health Resources & Services Administration have referred to loneliness as an epidemic in the last decade.
Feelings of loneliness can result from a lack of friendships, intimacy, or emotional connection.[4] The long-term impacts of loneliness include poor sleep, depression, suicidal ideation, increases in cortisol (a stress hormone), compromised immune responses, and inflammation. Chronic loneliness has also been linked to the progression of Alzheimer’s, cardiovascular disease, and other chronic diseases. Further, loneliness is associated with poor lifestyle habits which include sedentariness and smoking.[5]
To avoid unfortunate outcomes, we must carve out the time to hang out with friends and family. For kids and teens, school is an easy resource to draw from. But for adults, social resources can be hard to find. To help you reach out and find more connection and community in your life, we’ve uncovered some novel ideas and resources!
Finding Community in Person
Volunteer
Volunteering is a fantastic way to meet friends, give back, and cultivate a sense of belonging. Research has found that volunteering is particularly helpful for those who have recently lost a loved one. In a study by Dawn Carr and colleagues observing over 5,000 recently widowed spouses, subjects who volunteered two or more hours per week had lower rates of loneliness than those who did not volunteer at all.[6]
Volunteering also has benefits for the whole family. The University of Nebraska-Lincoln Extension notes that youth volunteerism can help with the development of identity, empathy, skill-building, self-esteem, and relationships with like-minded people.[7] A study by Sandi Nenga from Southwestern University notes similar improvements in youth volunteerism. But Nenga also emphasizes that volunteering can connect multiple, diverse communities, creating better outcomes in future civic roles for youth volunteers.[8]
Join a gym
Many gyms offer classes like Zumba, pilates, yoga, kickboxing, and barre. Attending exercise classes provides opportunities to talk with others and explore your workout journeys together!
Exercise is associated with decreases in stress hormones including cortisol and adrenaline, and promotes the production of mood-enhancing endorphins.[9] For those who have social anxiety, these feel-good-feelings can help you gain confidence in seeking and maintaining new relationships.
Join a club or team
Clubs and teams offer great opportunities to make new friends and work together. Bulletins for clubs and teams may be found at your local college campus or community recreation center. A study by Scott Graupensperger and colleagues notes that being on a club sports team results in greater prosocial behaviors. Additionally, being on a team creates a strong sense of community and bonds, thus enhancing identification with others. A greater sense of identification can improve one’s mental health, social life, and well-being.[10]
Find Community Online
Online resources have made meeting like-minded people easier than ever. Today’s platforms allow us to connect with a host of individuals and groups that offer various forms of entertainment whether it is sushi classes, book clubs, or family potlucks! Of course, proper cautions are necessary when meeting people online. To help tweens and teens prepare for the potential hazards that await them on social media, we recommend they take our Social Media Readiness Course. This online course not only offers the information they need to stay safe, Dr. Bennett also shares critical wellness strategies she’s developed in over 25 years of clinical practice! Here are 4 GKIS recommended online platforms to help you connect with others
Meetup
Meetup.com is a great website to start your search for like-minded people. The groups available are diverse and range from substance abuse support groups to groups for beginner hikers! Some groups are also geared towards entire families and may host events to bring families together. You can also create your own group, however, a monthly charge to Meetup is needed to keep your group active.
Hey! VINA
Hey! VINA is a free new app with a design similar to the dating app Tinder. Hey! Vina is geared toward women and nonbinary people looking to make friends with other women and nonbinary people. The VIP membership gives users special access to certain features including faster matches, seeing who swiped right on (liked) your profile, and more.
The Dinner Party
The Dinner Party is an organization founded in 2018. The purpose of this organization is to bring grieving individuals who are between the ages 20 to 39 together. The intent is to connect and provide support for each other over dinner. They also expanded to create dinner parties for a wider audience of individuals who may be dealing with a different type of issue and would like a companion to talk to. To accommodate the recent COVID-19 guidelines, individuals are currently hosting Zoom dinner parties as a safer way to get together.
Eventbrite
Eventbrite is a popular platform used to get tickets for live events ranging from stadium concerts to yoga meetups at the park. While the service is free, the organizer of the event may require a small fee to attend while others offer their events for free.
Thanks to CSUCI intern, Avery Flower for researching ways to battle loneliness, and for co-authoring this article.
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
[1] Williams, C. Y. K., Townson, A. T., Kapur, M., Ferreira, A. F., Nunn, R., Galante, J., Phillips, V., Gentry, S., & Usher-Smith, J. A. (2021). Interventions to reduce social isolation and loneliness during COVID-19 physical distancing measures: A rapid systematic review. PLoS ONE, 16(2). https://doi-org.ezproxy.csuci.edu/10.1371/journal.pone.0247139
[2] Lun, V. M.-C., & Bond, M. H. (2016). Achieving subjective well-being around the world: The moderating influence of gender, age and national goals for socializing children. Journal of Happiness Studies: An Interdisciplinary Forum on Subjective Well-Being, 17(2), 587–608. https://doi-org.ezproxy.csuci.edu/10.1007/s10902-015-9614-z
[3]Brunes, A., Hansen, M. B., & Heir, T. (2019). Loneliness among adults with visual impairment: Prevalence, associated factors, and relationship to life satisfaction. Health and Quality of Life Outcomes, 17. https://doi-org.ezproxy.csuci.edu/10.1186/s12955-019-1096-y
[4] Tiwari, S. (2013). Loneliness: A disease? Indian Journal of Psychiatry,55(4), 320. doi:10.4103/0019-5545.120536
[5] Beutel, M. E., Klein, E. M., Brähler, E., Reiner, I., Jünger, C., Michal, M., Wiltink, J., Wild, P. S., Münzel, T., Lackner, K. J., & Tibubos, A. N. (2017). Loneliness in the general population: Prevalence, determinants and relations to mental health. BMC Psychiatry, 17.
[6]Carr, D. C., Kail, B. L., Matz-Costa, C., & Shavit, Y. Z. (2018). Does becoming a volunteer attenuate loneliness among recently widowed older adults? The Journals of Gerontology: Series B: Psychological Sciences and Social Sciences, 73(3), 501–510. https://doi-org.ezproxy.csuci.edu/10.1093/geronb/gbx092
[10]Graupensperger, S., Panza, M., & Evans, M. B. (2020). Network centrality, group density, and strength of social identification in college club sport teams. Group Dynamics: Theory, Research, and Practice, 24(2), 59–73. https://doi-org.ezproxy.csuci.edu/10.1037/gdn0000106
Ninety-eight percent of American homes with kids under eight years old have a mobile screen device.[1] Often children as young as three years old have their own! These bright, glowing, pieces of technology are incredibly attractive for the developing mind, so it’s no wonder kids may feel agitated, bored, or stressed when they must put it down and get to homework. Tantrums at the end of screen time may be a sign of screen addiction. If you worry your child has the potential for screen addiction, empower yourself with the knowledge and expertise provided through Dr. Bennett’s Screen Safety Essentials Course. This program offers weekly parent and family-oriented coaching videos designed to provide you with the information, tips, and tricks that the modern family needs to use screens while staying safe and connected. Today’s article offers 3 GKIS recommended tips to effectively deal with these symptoms.
Hyperarousal & Screen Addiction
Immersing oneself with a screen device is associated with hyperarousal of our nervous system.[2] This type of arousal is associated with irritability in adults and tantrums in children.
Following hyperarousal, the brain attempts to return to balance with an opposite response. Sometimes this results in fatigue and low energy – as in “what goes up must come down.” Some consider this crash to be evidence of addictive withdrawal.
If your child is allowed too much screen time, especially with intense content, expect a tantrum followed by fatigue. Further, if a child repeatedly undergoes this neurological rollercoaster unchecked, excessive screen time can result in chronic mental health conditions.
A study by Anita Restrepo and colleagues analyzed 564 children and their screen usage. They found that the children with problematic internet use suffered from higher rates of sleep disturbance, depressive episodes, and a reduction in healthy behavior.[3] Gaming addiction symptoms, such as feelings of loss of control and play despite negative consequences to school and relationships, can also result from unchecked screen time.
Dr. Tracy Bennett developed the Social Media Readiness Course to empower tweens and teens to employ wellness strategies themselves. Utilizing these techniques backed by research and experience by Dr. B’s 25+ years in the field will aid in retraining your kid’s brain. Our course not only teaches screen use moderation but also offers important information about potential sources of digital injury and critical psychological wellness tools.
Validation and Support
If your child is demonstrating severe meltdowns after screen time, yelling at them will only escalate the situation. Instead, coach emotional stabilization by validating their experience (“You must feel really out of control right now”) and coaching them to calm down. Supportive teamwork teaches important wellness skills, builds problem-solving and resilience, and ultimately results in greater autonomy and less conflict and resentment.
Psychologists Shin and Kim analyzed two types of parenting approaches with screen use among 303 parents. Active mediation emphasizes family discussions about screen use. Restrictive mediation emphasizes one-sided rule-setting for screen devices. Families that use active mediation demonstrated better outcomes than those who preferred restrictive mediation.[4]
When a child is involved in family decision-making, they are given a greater sense of confidence and autonomy. As a result, they have a lower chance of developing resentment.[5] Completing a digital contract, like our free GKIS Connected Family Screen Agreement, is an awesome way to get started with cooperative dialogue and accountability!
Providing Incentive
Following through with priorities and practicing work before play are important life skills. This can be challenging for children when online work feels tedious, boring, and lacks a clear payoff. If your child seems to lose steam and get distracted with online work, rewarding effort with incentives can be helpful.
A study by Radhakrishnan and colleagues looking at 201 students found that giving incentives to complete homework increased their performance and completion rates.[6] Incentives can be material like a new toy, or experiential like a family picnic.
Material incentives are great occasionally but try not to let this be the only motivator that keeps your kid going. Dr. Bennett finds that kids habituate quickly from material rewards and they fail to work overtime. She says family activities celebrating your kid’s hard work well-done ends up working far better, especially when utilizing reward charts and checklists like the Bennett Boxes technique found in her book Screen Time in the Mean Time.
Don’t Give In
Children are incredibly clever at implementing pester power. Pester power wears us down until we cave and give in to their demands for toys, games, and screen time. Sometimes we might simply be exhausted and give them a “fine, 30 more minutes.” But what just happened there is a learning moment for your child. They learn that by bugging you incessantly, they will be rewarded
This parent-child dynamic exemplifies intermittent reinforcement, which means that a behavior that is rewarded occasionally will dramatically increase that behavior—just like with gambling. Once a behavior has been reinforced in this way, it’s more difficult to “undo” it later.[7]
To avoid this trap, stick to your rules with consistency and follow-through. This teaches your child that they can trust your word, and it’s not worth the fight to argue.
Thanks to CSUCI intern, Avery Flower for researching effective ways to deal with behavioral issues, and for co-authoring this article.
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
[1] Common Sense Media. (2017). The Common Sense Census: Media Use By Kids Age Zero to Eight. Retrieved from https://www.commonsensemedia.org/sites/default/files/uploads/research/csm_zerotoeight_fullreport_release_2.pdf
[3] Restrepo, A., Scheininger, T., Clucas, J., Alexander, L., Salum, G. A., Georgiades, K., Paksarian, D., Merikangas, K. R., & Milham, M. P. (2020). Problematic internet use in children and adolescents: Associations with psychiatric disorders and impairment. BMC Psychiatry, 20. https://doi-org.ezproxy.csuci.edu/10.1186/s12888-020-02640-x
[4] Shin, W., & Kim, H. K. (2019). What motivates parents to mediate children’s use of smartphones? An application of the theory of planned behavior. Journal of Broadcasting & Electronic Media, 63(1), 144–159. https://doi-org.ezproxy.csuci.edu/10.1080/08838151.2019.1576263
[5] Roth, G., Assor, A., Niemiec, C. P., Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2009). The emotional and academic consequences of parental conditional regard: Comparing conditional positive regard, conditional negative regard, and autonomy support as parenting practices. Developmental Psychology, 45(4), 1119–1142. https://doi-org.ezproxy.csuci.edu/10.1037/a0015272
[6] Radhakrishnan, P., Lam, D., & Ho, G. (2009). Giving university students incentives to do homework improves their performance. Journal of Instructional Psychology, 36(3), 219–225.
Screen devices are an integral part of most kids’ daily lives. Games are easy to access from their smartphone. They have friends sending messages throughout the day. Notifications from social media draw their attention. And online learning adds extra hours to the approximately 4 to 9 hours kids spent a day before the COVID-19 pandemic.[1] To help achieve screen sanity at your home, enjoy Dr. Bennett’s weekly coaching videos on the GetKidsInternetSafe App. While attending to sensible rules and tools for screen safety, parents cannot overlook the health cost of excessive screen use to our eyes. Visual hygiene may be defined as mindful actions taken to reduce potential harm to our visual system and to keep it working at its best.[2]
What is digital eye strain?
Computer Vision Syndrome (CVS) or Digital Eye Strain is defined by the American Optometric Association as issues related to the eye or the visual perception as a result of extended screen use. Research in this area indicates that at least 50% of computer users have experienced these symptoms which include dry eyes, blurry vision, strained eyes, and headaches.[3]
While CVS is believed to be temporary, it’s still important to err on the side of caution. Research that attempts to declare causation is a tricky area for scientists, especially when considering the many factors which may come into play such as the subject’s socioeconomic status, genetics, and third contributary variables.
What can cause digital eye strain?
Screen use over an extended period is the primary cause of digital eye strain. Here are some additional considerations:
Blinking Less
When we look at our screens, we are believed to blink around 66% less than we normally do.[4] As a result, we may feel a drying or burning sensation after an extended period of screen use.
Ergonomics
Ergonomics is a type of science that studies how to maximize healthy body positioning and movement efficiency. Healthy ergonomics can be broadly applied and specified to functions such as our vision. Some visual ergonomic factors include screen distance, brightness, and posture.
Poor ergonomics may result in digital eye strain if the screen is too bright compared to the surrounding area. And if the screen is too close, our eyes may begin to cross (a normal visual function known as convergence).
Habits to Improve Visual Hygiene
Just as we maintain oral hygiene through brushing at least twice a day, keeping good visual hygiene can avoid strain or injury. Here are a few tips on preventing digital eye strain and improving your visual hygiene:
20-20-20 Rule
The 20-20-20 Rule states that for every 20 minutes of screen use, we should spend at least 20 seconds looking at something 20 feet away. Changing focus prevents visual fatigue. This is a simple and quick task, and you can even make it more fun by playing I-Spy outside the house with your kid!
Night Mode/Red Light Mode
Night mode or Red-light mode is one of the newer options to control the type of light emitted from our screen devices. Blue light is a high-energy type of light that is most commonly emitted from screen devices. Optometrists believe that this type of light is a primary cause of eye strain.[5]
Lens manufacturers have created a protective lens to help. However, research on the benefits of blue light blocking lenses is mixed. Instead of investing in blue light blocking lenses, we can simply switch the high-energy blue light on our screen devices to a lower energy, warmer tone through the brightness or display settings on our screen devices.
Blue light also negatively impacts the production of our body’s sleep regulating hormone, melatonin. Check out our article Why Good Sleep is Critical for Child and Teen Health to explore the factors which impact our sleep, including the emission of blue light.
Maintaining Proper Distance
The American Optometric Association states that we should keep our computer screen 20-28 inches away from our eyes (or about 3/4 of an arm’s length). Additionally, the screen should be around 15-20 degrees below our eyes for an optimized screen experience.[5]
Maintaining Proper Lighting
Be particularly cognizant of how bright your screen is during the daytime versus during the nighttime. Improper lighting will lead to eye strain due to the eyes trying to accommodate the contrasting brightness. Another tip to keep in mind is to keep your screen clean so you can avoid glare from other light sources.[4]
Break Often
While the 20-20-20 rule is a great habit to keep in mind, frequent short breaks are also great to give your eyes a break.
The Pomodoro Technique is a technique for efficient studying which states that for every 25 minutes of work, you take a 5-minute break. Breaks allow you to take a stretch and admire the view outside! If you do decide to take a longer break, try relaxing outside, playing a sport, or walking around the block. The main idea here is to get away from up-close, artificial light sources and to have your eyes adjust to things further away out in the natural world.
Thanks to CSUCI intern, Avery Flower for researching Computer Vision Syndrome and Visual Hygiene, and for co-authoring this article.
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
Most of us do not put much thought into reading, but not everybody has this privilege. Dyslexia is a cognitive disability that impacts someone’s abilities to read, write, or spell.[1] Letters that look similar and sound similar—such as n and m, w and m, and p, b, d, and q—are most frequently mixed up. To illustrate this, reading the sentence “Briana went to the park to walk her dog” may be read as “Briana wemt to the dark to malk her bog” for an individual with dyslexia. While some of us may mix these letters up occasionally, individuals with dyslexia chronically mix letters up to the point that it interferes with their daily life.
How common is dyslexia?
The DyslexiaHelp organization at the University of Michigan notes that 7 to 10% of the population have dyslexia. Individuals with dyslexia also represent around 70 to 80% of the population that have reading difficulties.[2] While dyslexia impairs an individual’s ability to read, write, or spell, this impairment does not affect one’s intelligence.
Dyslexia can lead to slow reading, poor language, messy handwriting, and a limited vocabulary. Behavioral issues such as tantrums, crying, and isolation may also manifest due to frustration. With proper treatment, impairment due to dyslexia can be improved. Children are especially adept at responding to treatment due to their remarkable ability to learn and adapt.
Assistive Technology
Assistive technology is a type of device or application designed to ease the symptoms of a disability.[3] In the case of treating symptoms of dyslexia, assistive technology has been refined throughout the years and garnered large satisfaction among users.
Scientists such as Tamik and Latif from the National University of Sciences and Technology are carrying out promising research for the development and accessibility of assistive technology for individuals with dyslexia. Putting the application they developed to the test, they found that their app helps significantly improves the writing for kids with dyslexia.[4] In a study by Draffan and colleagues looking at how assistive technology is used among 455 students with dyslexia, 90% of subjects found it helpful.[5]
Not only can assistive technology make things easier at the moment, but there can also be transfer effects which are benefits generalized to other things. A 2017 study by Lindeblad and colleagues put 35 children with dyslexia in a specialized program utilizing assistive technology applications. A year follow-up indicated that the children’s literacy increased at the same rate as their non-dyslexic peers.[6]
Maximizing Your Child’s Smartphone
Newer smartphones are becoming increasingly sophisticated and accessible for a diverse range of users. With smartphones, assistive technology is at our fingertips!
While a smartphone is easily accessible and can aid with alleviating symptoms of dyslexia, we at GKIS recommend that you consult with a school or private disability program prior to app adoption. Specialized programs will not only help you assess the severity of the learning disability, but they often give you access to specially designed tools that are straightforward and multifunctional.
Here are few steps on optimizing your kid’s smartphone experience:
Text-to-Speech
To have your smartphone read to you, simply highlight a word, sentence, or the entire page. To set this up on your iPhone, go to Settings -> Accessibility -> Spoken Content, then turn on the speech selection. For Android phones, download the Android Accessibility Suite by Google LLC, then go to Settings -> Accessibility -> Installed Services, then turn on Select to Speak.
Speech-to-Text
Simply, dictation is defined as translating spoken word into text. While there are specific disability devices that offer this, the latest smartphones are now equipped for dictation. Click here to learn how to use dictation for iPhone. Click here to learn how to use dictation for Android.
Recording
Recording devices have proven as useful aids for individuals with dyslexia. Not only will they be able to reference the class discussion with full detail, but they can also feel at ease now that they can write notes at their own pace. To access the Voice Memos app quickly on iPhone, go to Settings -> Control Center, then click the green plus button to add the shortcut to the Control Center. On Android, the built-in app “Voice Recorder” is located in the App drawer.
Scanning and Reading
Scanning and reading pens are often distributed through disability services. However, many smartphones are now able to do this. With the application Prizmo, you can scan a typed document which will then translate into text. From here, you can use the text-to-speech functions on your smartphone to have it read out loud to you.
Text Display
With an iPhone, you can go to Settings -> Accessibility -> Display & Text, and from here, you can turn on Bold Text. From this same page, you can also go to “Larger Text” and play around with the sizes to fit one that works best for your child. On Androids, you can go to Settings -> Accessibility -> Font Size, and play with the options from here.
Note: Due to the wide range of Android devices, the provided Android settings may be accessed differently depending on the version.
The Internet is host to an endless stream of potential sources that can help your child, but it is important to be careful of any potential marketing ploys that are from unverified sources or people without credentials. To help provide your child and yourself with a keen-eye on spotting scams, check out our How to Spot Marketing supplement that is the perfect addition to your free Connected Family Agreement.
Thanks to CSUCI intern, Avery Flower for researching assistive technology and dyslexia, and for co-authoring this article.
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
[1] Azorín, E. I., Martin-Lobo, P., Vergara-Moragues, E., & Calvo, A. (2019). Profile and neuropsychological differences in adolescent students with and without dyslexia. Revista Latinoamericana de Psicología, 51(2), 83–92.
[4] Tariq, R., & Latif, S. (2016). A mobile application to improve learning performance of dyslexic children with writing difficulties. Journal of Educational Technology & Society, 19(4), 151–166.
[5] Draffan, E. A., Evans, D. G., & Blenkhorn, P. (2007). Use of assistive technology by students with dyslexia in post-secondary education. Disability and Rehabilitation: Assistive Technology, 2(2), 105–116. https://doi-org.ezproxy.csuci.edu/10.1080/17483100601178492
[6] Lindeblad, E., Nilsson, S., Gustafson, S., & Svensson, I. (2017). Assistive technology as reading interventions for children with reading impairments with a one-year follow-up. Disability and Rehabilitation: Assistive Technology, 12(7), 713–724. https://doi-org.ezproxy.csuci.edu/10.1080/17483107.2016.1253116
Thanks to CSUCI intern, Avery Flower for researching ways to battle loneliness, and for co-authoring this article.
