For Xgens and millennials, the internet has been a place for people to overshare through Facebook location “check-ins” and Instagram posts chronicling every detail of their latest vacations. Some Gen Z’s, in contrast, have turned casual oversharing into something much darker – publicly sharing stories of trauma for internet clout. To monitor and ensure your child is not sharing their deepest, darkest secrets on TikTok, check out our GKIS Screen Safety Essentials Course. This course provides you access to all GKIS parenting courses, agreements, and supplements to teach your kids independent resilience and good coping skills, all of which work to build a positive parent-child partnership and avoid a digital injury.
What is “trauma dumping”?
Trauma dumping is when a person overshares difficult information with another person without their consent.[1] Trauma dumping for content is done when a person constantly talks about a traumatic experience, even sometimes going so far as to recreate or reenact the traumatic incident online.[2]
Tramadumpers typically do not consider their impact on viewers and are not seeking advice.[1] The sharing often occurs in inappropriate places and times to someone who cannot understand and process someone else’s trauma.[3]
How does trauma dumping differ from venting?
Trauma dumping differs from venting because venting is the release of pent-up emotions rather than details of traumatic experiences.[2] When venting, a person is more mindful of the other person’s boundaries and how much they should share. Venting is an ordinary action people take to blow off steam, while trauma dumping is a potentially harmful action.
Why is sharing trauma for views and likes problematic?
Sharing or posting about a personal experience is not inherently wrong. But when you are sharing about it on social media often, it can become a maladaptive coping mechanism, meaning that instead of reducing the effect of a traumatic event on one’s mental health, you instead cause more harm and increase long-term stress.[4]
How Viewing Trauma Dumping Affects Viewers
The TikTok hashtags #trauma and #traumatok have a combined total of more than 22.5 billion views. As of 2023, Tiktok has 1.53 billion users, meaning that videos with the aforementioned hashtags have been viewed more times than there are users on the app.[5]
I asked a frequent TikTok user to recount her experience viewing a #traumatok video. She shared, “I was scrolling through my TikTok For You Page and saw a video a girl shared of her last conversation with her mother before her mother passed away from Covid-19. It made me feel sad, and I thought about it pretty often throughout the day. I told my friend about it later, and she said she had seen it too and it made her cry. Her dad passed away from Covid-19, and it hit home for her and reminded her of her dad’s passing. I can’t imagine seeing that kind of content as an 11-year-old or something.”
Viewers of trauma content can also inadvertently desensitize themselves. By viewing a trauma dump video and then scrolling to a happy or neutral video, they can prevent themselves from feeling the full impact of the content and thus are conditioning themselves to not adequately process traumatic content.[6] Through viewing traumatic content, viewers may inadvertently open themselves up to their own traumas. To learn more about doom-scrolling, see our GKIS article, “Doom-Scrolling: How Much Bad News Can We Take?”
What Parents Can Do
Preventing children from viewing #traumatok content is critical to ensure your child does not suffer from a digital injury.
Keep your child safe by:
Limiting and monitoring your child’s only content using our GKIS Screen Safety Toolkit. This resource helps you set parental controls and smart tools created to filter content and manage online behavior.
Keep the conversation going using our free GKIS Connected Family Agreement. By having regular discussions and co-viewing your child’s content, the learning continues both ways.
Preparing your children for social media usage through our GKIS Social Media Readiness Course. This course will help your child stay safe from digital injury and prepare them to “get social.”
In 2013, a 14-year-old girl in England named Hannah Smith committed suicide after being bullied and receiving hurtful comments on a social media website. When her father called for there to be accountability for the people who had left messages about his daughter before her death, it was revealed by the police that Hannah had most likely written the messages herself.[1] This was one of the first recognized incidents of digital self-harm, where a person leaves harmful messages, comments, or posts about themselves on the internet. We have written about physical self-harm in the GKIS article, “What Parents Need to Know About America’s Cutting Epidemic,” but today we’re going to examine the possible causes of digital self-harm, and how you can take steps to help your children if they’re experiencing this. To prevent digital self-harm, keeping open communication between you and your kids about their screen usage is essential. The GKIS Connected Family Screen Agreement is our free digital contract that helps create an open forum of communication between you and your kids and offers tips about the basics of internet safety.
What makes digital self-harm different?
Physical self-harm is when a person injures or puts themselves at risk without intent for committing suicide. Often this is done to numb emotional pain or cry for help. The most known forms of self-harm are cutting or burning yourself or skin-picking, but other risky behaviors like excessive drinking and drug use can become self-harm depending on the person’s motivation.[2] Physical self-harm can accompany or lead to suicidality.
Digital self-harm is similar to the physical forms of self-harm, but it takes place over the Internet. A teenager who’s self-harming this way may leave hateful comments and messages for themselves on social media, often in a publicly visible place. This is done anonymously on a fake account they’ve created.[3] By doing this to themselves, it can make it look like they’re being cyberbullied or harassed by others. Like physical self-harm, teenagers who digitally self-harm are at a much higher risk of suicidal thoughts or making a suicide attempt.[4]
Why do people engage in digital self-harm?
There are many reasons a teen may engage in digital self-harm, including:
to express overwhelming negative feelings about themselves.
to take control of peer relations where they’d otherwise feel out of control.
to look artsy, tough, or cool or better belong among others victimized by bullying or cyberbullying.
to numb out or punish themselves.[2][6]
to attract much-needed help and support.[5]
to elicit compliments and praise from others.
in hopes that friends will come to their defense and say positive things about them.[5]
to create a forum where they can engage in a public discourse and track responses.[5]
to phish to find out if other people see them in a similarly negative way.[6]
How common is this behavior?
A study in 2012 surveyed 617 college students and found that 9% of those students admitted to committing digital self-harm behavior while they were in high school.[7]
Another more recent 2017 study surveyed 5,593 middle-school and high-school students and found that about 5% admitted to digital self-harm, and 6% admitted to cyberbullying themselves.[3] They also found that teenagers who had digitally self-harmed were also more likely to have been bullied in the past than the students who hadn’t self-harmed.
The Role of Social Media in Self-Harm
As social media has gotten more popular, teenage mental health has been getting worse. One study found that adolescent suicide rates and depressive symptoms increased from 2010 to 2015, particularly among young girls.[8] Another found that students who checked social media 50-100 times a day were more likely to be distressed than their peers who checked less frequently, and that checking more than 100 times a day led to even higher distress.[9]
While self-harming behavior is usually done in private, social media opens the possibility of exposure to the negative emotions that cause self-harm. Social media allows kids and teens to communicate with others who self-harm and more easily find information about how to do different types of self-harm.[2]
What should I do if someone I know is digitally self-harming?
While digital self-harm is a new phenomenon in the worlds of social media and psychology, there are preventative measures that could help you monitor for digital self-harm in your family:
Take active steps to manage your children’s time online and monitor what kinds of websites your children are accessing. The GKIS Screen Safety Toolkit provides you with advice and app recommendations to set up parental controls, screen time management, and website filtering and blocking.
Recognize that self-harm is usually a symptom of other problems in your child’s life, and that they may be keeping it to themselves to avoid embarrassment or punishment. Respond with empathy in mind. This is a poorly thought-through coping mechanism that is fairly common among kids, tweens, and teens. Don’t respond harshly because you are disappointed or embarrassed. Instead, make this a teaching opportunity and gently validate their feelings and coach them through to better solutions. Kids make mistakes online just as they do offline. They’re still learning.
If the free Connected Family Agreement catches your interest and you want something more comprehensive, our megacourse for Screen Safety Essentials offers GKIS content for the whole family to form healthier screen use habits and encourage cooperation between you and your kids.
If you’re worried that your teen is self-harming or suicidal, contact a mental health professional as soon as possible. Typically, the earlier the intervention, the more effective it is.
Thanks to CSUCI intern Brandon Bishop for researching digital self-harm and its causes and authoring this article.
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
Reddit is a popular social media website with millions of users worldwide and has a controversial reputation due to its content moderation policies. This GKIS Sensible Parent’s Guide will provide what a parent needs to know about Reddit and offer some suggestions to help keep your children safe while using the website. We also recommend checking out the GKIS Social Media Readiness Training Course, which can help you teach your kids how to safely interact with any social media website.
How long has Reddit been around how popular is it?
Reddit is a hybrid internet forum and social news media website where users can post images, videos, and links to other websites, and other users can leave comments on the original post. As of February 2023, it’s the tenth most visited website on the internet with 4.8 billion monthly visits.[1] It was founded in 2005 by Steve Huffman, Alexis Ohanian, and Aaron Swartz as a bulletin board-style website that would act as “the front page of the internet.”[2] In 2006, the website was acquired by the mass media company Condé Nast Publications, also known for magazine and news companies such as Vogue, The New Yorker, and Vanity Fair.[3]
The website is divided into thousands of subreddits that organize posts by topic. Some subreddits cover broad topics, such as r/gaming for anything video game related, while others are more specific like r/minecraft or r/fortnite for those specific games. There are subreddits for news, relationship advice, political discussion, different hobbies, and nearly anything else you might expect to find on the internet. There are many subreddits dedicated to community support, like r/TwoXChromosomes for women’s rights and r/lgbt for LGBT issues.
Posts and comments on Reddit can be given upvotes and downvotes, which are similar to likes on Twitter or Facebook. Recent posts with multiple upvotes will be displayed at the top of the subreddit it was posted in. Posts with multiple downvotes are less likely to appear and will often be tagged as “controversial” by the website’s filter settings.
Getting Started with Reddit
The only thing Reddit requires to create an account is a valid email address. Reddit’s user agreement states that users need to be over the age of 13, but there is no age verification requirement besides a check box agreeing to the terms and conditions during account creation. Reddit has a mobile app that can be downloaded from the Google Play store or Apple App store, and can also be accessed from any web browser.
Benefits and Popular Features of Reddit
Custom Home Page
By default, the home page of Reddit shows the subreddit r/popular, which displays a variety of posts from a list of the most popular subreddits, with some restrictions related to political and adult-oriented subreddits.[4] Reddit users can also sort by r/all, which displays the top results from all subreddits on the website.
Reddit users can subscribe to specific subreddits they like, causing those subreddits to appear on their home page. Users can also subscribe to other user profiles so that they can see what another user posts no matter what subreddit it’s posted in. By doing so they can create a curated feed of content that relates to their interests.
Subreddits are mostly created by Reddit users and act as community forums for discussion and sharing media. They are run by moderators, who are users that set and enforce rules within each subreddit but are not paid employees of Reddit.[5] Reddit employees known as administrators only get involved in a subreddit if there are violations of the website’s terms of service and content policies.[6]
Community Events
Reddit is also known for having large community events on April Fools’ Day every year. In 2015, the subreddit r/thebutton was created, where a sitewide countdown clock could be reset by pushing a button, but each user could only push the button once.[7] In 2017 and 2022, Reddit ran an event called r/place where its community members could collaborate to create pixel artwork on a canvas where each user could only edit a single pixel every five minutes.[8]
Reddit’s Privacy and Safety Options
Reddit’s user settings and account creation process offer several options to protect yourself and your information while you use the website.
Anonymity
Reddit does not require any personal information besides an email address to create an account.
In its Safety & Privacy Settings, you can choose whether you want your profile to appear in search engine results from websites like Google or Bing.
Users can delete their posts, comments, or their entire account from their profile settings at any time.
Personal Information
Reddit collects personal information about its users but allows users to restrict what information is collected and how it is used in its Safety & Privacy Settings.
Reddit users can file a data request form to receive a copy of the data that has been collected from their account.
When an account is deleted, the username is removed from all posts and comments made by that account. However, the posts will still be publicly visible unless they are deleted before the account.
Chat and Private Messages
Users can choose whether they want to receive chat requests and private messages in their Chat Settings and can restrict messages from accounts less than 30 days old.
Users can also block individual user profiles, preventing that user from messaging them or sending chat requests.
Risks of Reddit
Adult-Oriented Content
Reddit has many subreddits dedicated to easily accessible adult content like pornography and graphic violence. Posts from these subreddits are marked as NSFW (internet slang for ‘Not Safe for Work’ or ‘Not Suitable for Workplace’) and excluded from r/popular and r/all.[4] Despite this, directly searching for adult content is only restricted by a check box below the search bar asking if you would like to include NSFW search results. Those results still appear if you select to hide NSFW posts in your user settings.
Additionally, the process for tagging NSFW content is only enforced by moderators, not site administrators. Inappropriate posts that contain nudity are automatically tagged, but ones that do not show explicit nudity can slip through the filtering process. Posts containing graphic violence are also often poorly moderated, and content from subreddits like r/fightporn (videos of street fights) and r/CombatFootage (GoPro videos of military conflicts) often make it to Reddit’s r/all page even if they show severe injuries or death.
Political Content and Hate Speech
Reddit has had many controversies surrounding the political subreddits on its website. In 2015, five popular hate speech subreddits targeting ethnic and gender minorities were banned for violating Reddit’s anti-harassment policies.[9] It banned the subreddit r/altright in 2017 after posts were made which called for the harassment of and leaked the personal information of a man who punched right-wing personality Richard Spencer.[10] Multiple political subreddits such as r/The_Donald, R/DonaldTrump, r/GenderCritical, and r/ChapoTrapHouse were banned under new policies designed to reduce hate speech in 2020.[11]
Despite these efforts, Reddit continues to have problems with hate speech and politically motivated harassment on its platform. While these bans remove the offending subreddits and all posts within them, the users who subscribed and made posts in those subreddits are rarely banned unless they directly violate terms of service. Users from the banned subreddits will often continue posting in other subreddits with similarly relaxed rules about hate speech and discrimination until it is banned as well.
Cyberbullying and Harassment
Reddit is a social media website with a high risk of cyberbullying and harassment. Because Reddit users are anonymous, there are few repercussions for directly sending another user harmful messages or unwanted explicit images. A user’s posts and comments are also publicly visible to all other users, which enables internet stalking behavior. While Reddit does have anti-harassment policies that can result in an offender’s account being banned, there’s little to prevent a banned user from creating another account to continue their harassment.[12]
GKIS Suggestions to Keep Your Kids Safe on Reddit
You can sign up for the GKIS Connect Family Screen Agreement, a free course that covers the basics of internet safety and keeping open communication between you and your kids about their internet use.
You can check out the GKIS Social Media Readiness Training course, which contains 10 lessons to help your teens and tweens get ready to responsibly use social media. It also provides access to the private GKIS Connected Family Facebook group, with tips and feedback from Dr. Bennett and other families who have taken the course.
There’s also the GKIS Screen Safety Toolkit, which is a parent’s guide to setting up parental controls, screen time management, social media & text monitoring, and other technological tools to keep an eye on how your kids use the internet.
Thanks to CSUCI intern Brandon Bishop for researching Reddit and preparing this GKIS Sensible Parent’s Guide.
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
Sexual content on a social media platform with millions of young children should never be allowed, but lines become blurred when TikTok users find subversive ways to share fetish content with others. Behind seemingly innocent videos lay adults seeking to arouse one another, uncaring that it may be occurring right in front of your child. Protect your child from inappropriate online content and prevent digital injury with our GKISScreen Safety Toolkit.
What is a “Fetish” or “Kink”?
A fetish refers to sexual arousal resulting from objects or a specific body part that is not typically seen as sexual.[1] Fetish objects or body parts could include feet, hair, food, or even balloons. For those with a fetish, sex may be less pleasurable or even impossible without the presence of the fetish object.
In contrast, kink refers to unconventional or bizarre sexual activity with self or others.[2] While fetishes can become sexual disorders, kinks typically do not progress to that level. More specifically, Fetishistic Disorder occurs when a person’s fetish escalates to the point of being persistent and distressing.[3] To meet the conditions for this disorder, an individual must experience sexual urges that meet the definition of a fetish, these fetishes must cause distress or impairment in functioning, and the object they fetishize must not be used in cross-dressing or sexual stimulation.[4]
Fetishistic Disorders are typically seen in males and emerge during puberty.[4] Fetishistic Disorder can make it hard for individuals to develop intimate relationships and can cause sexual dysfunction.[4] Studies have also found that fetishism is often correlated with other mental health issues, substance abuse, criminal justice involvement, and an increased risk of sexually transmitted infections.[4]
How are TikTok Users Posting This Content?
Most social media websites have content filters and bots that flag any content that can be considered inappropriate or of a sexual nature. However, most of the fetish content on TikTok does not contain nudity, instead appealing to fetishes that utilize implied sexual behavior.
Popular TikTok user Lena Rae (@lenarae.lh), who has over 230k followers, has created a collection of videos titled, “Is This Fetish Content?” that identifies this type of content and calls out the users to post it.
In a video with almost 18 million views, Lena Rae reacts to a seemingly innocent video from user “putinnu” (a not-so-thinly veiled attempt at sexual innuendo “put it in you”). The video shows a woman in a wedding dress shoving a glass vase into a multi-tiered cake and then proceeding to pour multi-colored, runny frosting inside the vase. Lena Rae points out the vase is a phallic shape. She also comments on the consistency of the frosting and how the person is spilling it as they pour. The woman in the video explains that the frosting is going to run all over the cake, a reference that Lena Rae says is to appeal to those with a “sploshing” fetish. Lena Rae points out that the actions in the video are purposely repetitive and aim to appeal to a fetishistic audience.[5]
While these videos may not be expressly sexual like other content on TikTok, the hidden fetish content videos are flooded with comments from adults who are taking pleasure in the content being suggested to them. This creates a dangerous combination of adults with sexual fetishes consuming content that is “safe” enough to also show up on the For You Page of young kids.
How Viewing This Content Can Affect Kids
Viewing sexual content at any age can be harmful to one’s mental health, but when viewed during a time of development, it can have lasting effects into adulthood.
Experts have found that young children who view pornographic content frequently become isolated, withdrawn, anxious, or depressed.[6] Consumption of online sexual content at a young age can lead to premature sexual experimentation as well as other high-risk behaviors, dating violence, cannabis abuse, or the development of harmful fetishes.[7]
What Parents Can Do
Open communication about sexual content can save your child from digital injury and stunted development. Some experts even recommend talking to your child as young as 9 years old about the difference between “good” and “bad” pictures.[8] Experts believe that in doing so, children will be better able to identify groomers or online predators and be less susceptible to them.
There are also various protective factors that one can turn to to prevent early exposure to sex. Creating an environment where a child feels connected to their parents and family can help them feel more comfortable communicating about the content they consume. To help facilitate difficult conversations about online content, try out our free GKISConnected Family Screen Agreement. Fostering healthy conversations and helping your child create positive self-perception can help kids to seek validation from family and peers rather than online strangers.
Imagine being a teenager getting ready for the big game, whether it’s soccer, basketball, or football. Your anxiety is buzzing as you try to stay focused. Friends and family are in the stands and your coaches are lasered in on you. Now imagine that, in addition to your friends, family, and coaches watching, there are also the college scouts and your scholarship is on the line. The weight of the world is on your shoulders. One false move and the dream you have been working on for years may be dashed. Now let’s add one more layer and imagine that right before you head onto the field you check your phone one last time. You tweet about being pumped because your social media engagement impacts your future in BIG ways. Then, ping, a stranger tweets about how you suck and that you will never make it in college sports…
How to Play the Game on Twitter
Although athletics are highlighted on many social media platforms, Twitter leads the pack for athletes to showcase their talent. Unfortunately, it’s also a place for people to troll, vent, and attack an athlete’s performance. While the public discusses their opinions of statistics and abilities, those who may impact your future watch the fray silently.
Often college offers are announced and celebrated on Twitter, leaving those who were passed up feeling shocked and demoralized. To better understand what that is like to have your talent showcased on Twitter, I recently interviewed a college quarterback named John*.
John was a 3-star athlete, which translates into being in the top ten percent of high school quarterbacks in the nation.[1] In high school, many college coaches were competing to recruit him. Other quarterbacks were in the same boat, all on Twitter tracking stats and who was tweeting about whom. He told us that a range of emotions was at play, elaborating, “When you see the tweets on how good another quarterback is, how he is ranked higher than you, and how he got his scholarship, those tweets make you more hungry to win.”
How to Make Twitter Work for You
We asked John if, alongside motivation, he often felt despair, But John insisted that, in his case, he didn’t consider Twitter to be all that bad. “It was a great way for me to reach out to schools, to put up my stats, and to get positive feedback from prospective coaches in the off-season. If I had a good game, I made sure to send it to colleges the next day and post it for others to see.” He said that when he wants news, all he has to do is look to the internet. When I asked about what would happen if he had a bad game, he chuckled and said, “When you have a bad game, people will post it for you. No need to worry about that.” Unfortunately, not every child can always take the negative and turn it into a positive. Our Screen Safety Essentials Course is a great way for your teen to learn to help them think before they tweet.
Everyone’s a Critic
When speaking with John about Twitter and college, he said that things change from high school to college. “There isn’t too much negativity on a high school player when they have a bad game, but that all goes out the window when you get to college. Betters [people gambling on the game] will always have something to say when you don’t perform like they hoped you would.”
According to cbssports.com, in a single sports season up to eight billion dollars are wagered.[2] To give a perspective of what eight billion is, that is what Instacart was valued at in 2019.[3] The college football season is about four months long, with the regular season being 12 games per team.
John elaborated, “If I had a bad game, it wasn’t uncommon for me to delete the Twitter app because I was already beating myself up enough for the loss. I didn’t need to hear it from people that don’t play the game. Breaks off social media are great because you have to kinda get in check with your reality.” I asked about tweets in high school hurting him or anyone he knew at the time. He responded, “Most people are pretty forgiving to high school kids as long as it’s nothing really bad. Your coaches care about you and do help guide you. If you make a mistake and tweet something bad, your high school coach and any coach interested in you at the college level will usually talk to you. These things I have seen have usually been a learning experience. However, when you get to the college level, that all changes. They expect you to be an adult and act accordingly.” For example, in 2015, professional quarterback Josh Allen was projected to be the first draft pick of the NFL until an old Tweet of his from high school days resurfaced. His status dropped to seventh, translating into a lot of money lost. To help prepare your tween or teen on how to handle such situations, GKIS has a great Social Media Readiness Course.
Overall, the athlete we spoke to loved playing and everything about it. John said there were times that weren’t as much fun but he took what was given to him and made it work for him. He turned a mean tweet into motivation to work harder than the next guy. When asked what advice he’d give a young athlete, he said, “Don’t waste energy on something that is out of your control. It’s only going to bring you down.”
Other Tips for How to Avoid the Pitfalls
Before you allow your tween or teen to go on social media, require that they take our Social Media Ready Course. This information optimizes the chances that they’ll not fall victim to digital injuries and maintain the best psychological wellness practice.
Review with your teen how to promote themselves and build a positive brand and how to avoid negativity and online conflict. We offer these strategies in our Screen Safety Essentials Course.
Detox from social media on occasion to regroup and gain perspective.
Keep good company with coaches, friends, and family. Accept support from those who support you on and off the field
Reframe negativity online so it motivates you. Don’t let it take a negative hold on your attitude toward the same, your competitors, or yourself.
If you found this blog article interesting, please check out some of our other GKIS articles about Twitter.
*John is a fictional name to allow the athlete interviewed to remain anonymously
Work Cited
[1] Nusser, J. (2018, December 15). Seeing stars: 247Sports, Rivals, and ESPN star-rating systems explained. Coug Center. https://www.cougcenter.com/wsu-football-recruiting/2013/2/5/3956800/rivals-scout-espn-247-star-rating-system-national-signing-day
[2] Dodd. D. (2022, November 17). College sports’ overlooked gambling issue: Improprieties being ignored as betting soars nationwide. Cbssports.com. https://www.cbssports.com/college-football/news/college-sports-overlooked-gambling-issue-improprieties-being-ignored-as-betting-soars-nationwide/
[3] Gebel, M. (2022, November 17). 30 companies worth at least $1 billion that didn’t exist 10 years ago. Businessinsider.com. Retrieved December 3, 2019, from https://www.businessinsider.com/companies-unicorns-worth-1-billion-didnt-exist-10-years-ago-2019-11
Social media has forever been a hookup culture. But recently, older men are approaching young girls, for a “sugar arrangement,” a little time for a little gift. The promises of new shoes, purses, and money for a conversation can be very tempting. Once a relationship is initiated it typically gets sexual from there. Could your daughter be getting approached online by sugar daddies? To help deter your child from falling victim to this look into Social Media Readiness Training to help kids be more online aware.
What are a “sugar daddy” and a “sugar baby?”
A sugar daddy is typically an adult male who finances the lifestyle of his younger companion. The average sugar daddy is 38 years old and earns $250,000 annually.[1] His younger companion is referred to as his “sugar baby.” The sugar baby is typically expected to give up their time and sexual activities in exchange for gifts like clothes, shoes, jewelry, and a weekly allowance. Our Screen Safety Toolkit can help you track people who may unknowingly approach your child online.
Sugar Baby Cindy says she’s happy with her arrangement.
I interviewed a 26-year-old sugar baby named Cindy. She said “Not all sugar arrangements are sexual. Sometimes they just want to have someone to talk to.” Cindy says she prefers a sugar daddy-sugar baby arrangement because it takes out the guessing game for her. She said “Knowing someone wants to take care of me is a good feeling. It also takes work. You have to keep up your looks, be diverse in a lot of topics and make sure your sugar daddy is happy in return.”
How do you find your sugar daddy or sugar baby?
There are a variety of websites for two consenting adults to find this style of relationship. One of the more popular sites is SeekingArrangement. This site is for consenting adults to find someone that may be interested in a sugar arrangement. It’s much like any other dating site but specifically for sugar daddies and sugar babies. Onlyfans have also made it easier for girls to sell personal content. This is a way for sugar daddies to get an idea of who may be interested in being a sugar baby.
Unfortunately, adults use social media to proposition adolescents, persuading them to talk in exchange for money. A high school student I spoke with elaborated. “One guy offered me five hundred dollars just to talk to him.” She said she ignored his request and blocked him. Imagine how tempting money and gift offers may be to lonely or bold teens.
Cindy Details the Dangers She’s Encountered Online
Cindy said that a prospect once tried to scare her after she refused him by doxing her. He discovered who she was, her family members, and where they lived. Then he created a fake online profile and tried to out her to her family. She said that was really scary her family would respond to such intimate and potentially embarrassing information,
Cindy also shared that once while working as a camgirl on Onlyfans, a customer convinced her to do a private show in exchange for gifts from her Amazon wish list. After the show, she realized he had only screenshotted the gifts in his cart. He vanished without paying for the promised gifts.
Finally, Cindy said some men will say they want to verify you are honest and not a scam by having you send a small amount of money to their cash app with promises to make it up by paying for your services later. She said that most girls will do this thinking five dollars is a small ask in return for a big payout later. But often, the men will take the money and run.
How to Protect Your Child from Being Approached by a Sugar Daddy Online
Practice common sense parenting as we teach within our GetKidsInternetSafe Safety Essentials Course. Our four-module online course helps guide you and your family to form a closer, more cooperative relationship that facilitates safer screen use and overall psychological wellness.
Make sure your kids don’t have hidden apps and secret social media profiles using our Screen Safety Toolkit. This is a great resource for services to help you monitor apps, give you better parental control, and much more.
Make sure you and your kids know how to navigate social media safely with our Social Media Readiness Course. This easy 10-part lesson plan will not only make you feel safe but also make your kids feel more empowered.
Encourage your kids to keep their social media profiles private.
Tell your kids if money comes up in an online conversation, be wary. The person likely has sexual motives.
Trust your gut. If it doesn’t feel right it probably isn’t.
Thanks to CSUCI intern Keith Ferries for researching sugar daddies and sugar babies and authoring this article.
[1] Matthew Henry https://burst.shopify.com/photos/search?button=&q=man+at+laptop
[2] Tim Douglas https://www.pexels.com/photo/delighted-young-woman-with-bright-gift-bags-after-shopping-6567285/
[3] https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-girl-in-a-city-using-smart-phone-3768921/
[4] Andrea Piacquadio https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-in-red-t-shirt-looking-at-her-laptop-3755761/
Thanks to CSUCI intern, Katherine Carroll for Trauma Dumping and its harmful effects.
