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Social media has forever been a hookup culture. But recently, older men are approaching young girls, for a “sugar arrangement,” a little time for a little gift. The promises of new shoes, purses, and money for a conversation can be very tempting. Once a relationship is initiated it typically gets sexual from there. Could your daughter be getting approached online by sugar daddies? To help deter your child from falling victim to this look into Social Media Readiness Training to help kids be more online aware.

What are a “sugar daddy” and a “sugar baby?”

A sugar daddy is typically an adult male who finances the lifestyle of his younger companion. The average sugar daddy is 38 years old and earns $250,000 annually.[1] His younger companion is referred to as his “sugar baby.” The sugar baby is typically expected to give up their time and sexual activities in exchange for gifts like clothes, shoes, jewelry, and a weekly allowance. Our Screen Safety Toolkit can help you track people who may unknowingly approach your child online.

Sugar Baby Cindy says she’s happy with her arrangement.

I interviewed a 26-year-old sugar baby named Cindy. She said “Not all sugar arrangements are sexual. Sometimes they just want to have someone to talk to.” Cindy says she prefers a sugar daddy-sugar baby arrangement because it takes out the guessing game for her. She said “Knowing someone wants to take care of me is a good feeling. It also takes work. You have to keep up your looks, be diverse in a lot of topics and make sure your sugar daddy is happy in return.”

 

How do you find your sugar daddy or sugar baby?

There are a variety of websites for two consenting adults to find this style of relationship. One of the more popular sites is SeekingArrangement. This site is for consenting adults to find someone that may be interested in a sugar arrangement. It’s much like any other dating site but specifically for sugar daddies and sugar babies. Onlyfans have also made it easier for girls to sell personal content. This is a way for sugar daddies to get an idea of who may be interested in being a sugar baby.

Unfortunately, adults use social media to proposition adolescents, persuading them to talk in exchange for money. A high school student I spoke with elaborated. “One guy offered me five hundred dollars just to talk to him.” She said she ignored his request and blocked him. Imagine how tempting money and gift offers may be to lonely or bold teens.

 

Cindy Details the Dangers She’s Encountered Online

  • Cindy said that a prospect once tried to scare her after she refused him by doxing her. He discovered who she was, her family members, and where they lived. Then he created a fake online profile and tried to out her to her family. She said that was really scary her family would respond to such intimate and potentially embarrassing information,
  • Cindy also shared that once while working as a camgirl on Onlyfans, a customer convinced her to do a private show in exchange for gifts from her Amazon wish list. After the show, she realized he had only screenshotted the gifts in his cart. He vanished without paying for the promised gifts.
  • Finally, Cindy said some men will say they want to verify you are honest and not a scam by having you send a small amount of money to their cash app with promises to make it up by paying for your services later. She said that most girls will do this thinking five dollars is a small ask in return for a big payout later. But often, the men will take the money and run.

How to Protect Your Child from Being Approached by a Sugar Daddy Online

  • Practice common sense parenting as we teach within our GetKidsInternetSafe Safety Essentials Course. Our four-module online course helps guide you and your family to form a closer, more cooperative relationship that facilitates safer screen use and overall psychological wellness.
  • Make sure your kids don’t have hidden apps and secret social media profiles using our Screen Safety Toolkit. This is a great resource for services to help you monitor apps, give you better parental control, and much more.
  • Make sure you and your kids know how to navigate social media safely with our Social Media Readiness Course. This easy 10-part lesson plan will not only make you feel safe but also make your kids feel more empowered.
  • Encourage your kids to keep their social media profiles private.
  • Tell your kids if money comes up in an online conversation, be wary. The person likely has sexual motives.
  • Trust your gut. If it doesn’t feel right it probably isn’t.

Thanks to CSUCI intern Keith Ferries for researching sugar daddies and sugar babies and authoring this article.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] Why Sugar Daddy Relationships Are on the Rise

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-the-name-love/202006/why-sugar-daddy-relationships-are-the-rise

Photo Credits

[1] Matthew Henry https://burst.shopify.com/photos/search?button=&q=man+at+laptop

[2] Tim Douglas https://www.pexels.com/photo/delighted-young-woman-with-bright-gift-bags-after-shopping-6567285/

[3] https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-girl-in-a-city-using-smart-phone-3768921/

[4] Andrea Piacquadio https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-in-red-t-shirt-looking-at-her-laptop-3755761/

Keith Ferries
Keith Ferries
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