Sexual content on a social media platform with millions of young children should never be allowed, but lines become blurred when TikTok users find subversive ways to share fetish content with others. Behind seemingly innocent videos lay adults seeking to arouse one another, uncaring that it may be occurring right in front of your child. Protect your child from inappropriate online content and prevent digital injury with our GKISScreen Safety Toolkit.
What is a “Fetish” or “Kink”?
A fetish refers to sexual arousal resulting from objects or a specific body part that is not typically seen as sexual.[1] Fetish objects or body parts could include feet, hair, food, or even balloons. For those with a fetish, sex may be less pleasurable or even impossible without the presence of the fetish object.
In contrast, kink refers to unconventional or bizarre sexual activity with self or others.[2] While fetishes can become sexual disorders, kinks typically do not progress to that level. More specifically, Fetishistic Disorder occurs when a person’s fetish escalates to the point of being persistent and distressing.[3] To meet the conditions for this disorder, an individual must experience sexual urges that meet the definition of a fetish, these fetishes must cause distress or impairment in functioning, and the object they fetishize must not be used in cross-dressing or sexual stimulation.[4]
Fetishistic Disorders are typically seen in males and emerge during puberty.[4] Fetishistic Disorder can make it hard for individuals to develop intimate relationships and can cause sexual dysfunction.[4] Studies have also found that fetishism is often correlated with other mental health issues, substance abuse, criminal justice involvement, and an increased risk of sexually transmitted infections.[4]
How are TikTok Users Posting This Content?
Most social media websites have content filters and bots that flag any content that can be considered inappropriate or of a sexual nature. However, most of the fetish content on TikTok does not contain nudity, instead appealing to fetishes that utilize implied sexual behavior.
Popular TikTok user Lena Rae (@lenarae.lh), who has over 230k followers, has created a collection of videos titled, “Is This Fetish Content?” that identifies this type of content and calls out the users to post it.
In a video with almost 18 million views, Lena Rae reacts to a seemingly innocent video from user “putinnu” (a not-so-thinly veiled attempt at sexual innuendo “put it in you”). The video shows a woman in a wedding dress shoving a glass vase into a multi-tiered cake and then proceeding to pour multi-colored, runny frosting inside the vase. Lena Rae points out the vase is a phallic shape. She also comments on the consistency of the frosting and how the person is spilling it as they pour. The woman in the video explains that the frosting is going to run all over the cake, a reference that Lena Rae says is to appeal to those with a “sploshing” fetish. Lena Rae points out that the actions in the video are purposely repetitive and aim to appeal to a fetishistic audience.[5]
While these videos may not be expressly sexual like other content on TikTok, the hidden fetish content videos are flooded with comments from adults who are taking pleasure in the content being suggested to them. This creates a dangerous combination of adults with sexual fetishes consuming content that is “safe” enough to also show up on the For You Page of young kids.
How Viewing This Content Can Affect Kids
Viewing sexual content at any age can be harmful to one’s mental health, but when viewed during a time of development, it can have lasting effects into adulthood.
Experts have found that young children who view pornographic content frequently become isolated, withdrawn, anxious, or depressed.[6] Consumption of online sexual content at a young age can lead to premature sexual experimentation as well as other high-risk behaviors, dating violence, cannabis abuse, or the development of harmful fetishes.[7]
What Parents Can Do
Open communication about sexual content can save your child from digital injury and stunted development. Some experts even recommend talking to your child as young as 9 years old about the difference between “good” and “bad” pictures.[8] Experts believe that in doing so, children will be better able to identify groomers or online predators and be less susceptible to them.
There are also various protective factors that one can turn to to prevent early exposure to sex. Creating an environment where a child feels connected to their parents and family can help them feel more comfortable communicating about the content they consume. To help facilitate difficult conversations about online content, try out our free GKISConnected Family Screen Agreement. Fostering healthy conversations and helping your child create positive self-perception can help kids to seek validation from family and peers rather than online strangers.
In recent years, social media influencers and internet celebrities have created a popular niche in pop culture. Some content creators possess a level of fame among their young fans which rivals that of traditional A-list celebrities. In the past, these A-list stars were only accessible to the public through the big screen or tabloid articles. Today’s internet celebrities are virtually accessible to fans 24/7 through social media. A new group of wildly popular content creators on the platform TikTok have pushed the boundaries of celebrity accessibility a step further towards toxicity by creating what they have coined “The Hype House.” If you are worried that your kids are living to watch a hype house instead of living their best lives within their own house, you can benefit from our Screen Safety Essentials Course. It has all the resources you need to best manage screen time while getting closer as a family.
TikTok and the Hype House Explained
TikTok is a social media and video-sharing platform/app that is primarily marketed to kids and teens. Since its launch in 2016, it has become one of the most popular social media sites attracting over 1 billion monthly users.
As you might have learned from Netflix’s recent show, the Hype House is a collective of young TikTok celebrities who live and work together in a large luxury house in Los Angeles, CA. Due to their popularity, the residents of the house get paid to create millions of dollars worth of sponsored content on TikTok. The more popular a content creator is, the more money they earn through ad revenue and branded merchandise.
Typical content created by Hype House residents feature videos of them hanging out, pulling pranks, partying, and (most often) dancing. Each of the Hype House members has a follower count in the hundreds of thousands to millions which illustrates their immense star power. However, there is a flip side. As avid fans discovered the address of the collective, Hype House residents were swarmed with groups of people stationed outside the home hoping to interact with their favorite TikTokers.
Blurred Boundaries
Fans traveled from all over and waited outside the house for hours just to catch a glimpse of the Hype House members. As soon as someone was spotted, a frenzy of excited screams would ensue. Perhaps it’s not surprising that some teens would go to such lengths to be in close proximity to their favorite celebrities and score pics for their own social media pages. What is surprising, however, is that many of the fans who would gather outside the collective were elementary school-aged children with parents.
Oddly enough, many of the parents seemed to be just as swept up in the frenzy as their kids. One video features a mother bragging that her daughter handed a box of donuts to someone affiliated with the house and that “now her donuts are inside the hype house.” A second video features a woman telling a mob of children “remember, you guys made them famous, you guys give them paychecks…” in response to the children being asked to leave the front doorstep they were trespassing on.
On one occasion, in a bid to gain followers, a 13-year-old TikToker allegedly broke into the Hype House along with her mother and a few friends while the residents weren’t home. The group filmed themselves going through the house and even wearing and stealing the famous housemates’ clothes. The 13-year-old’s mother even uploaded a video to TikTok saying, “We are currently in the Hype House. We’re gonna have amazing content.”
Despite some extreme (and illegal) instances like this, the residents of the Hype House typically accept the mobs of fans and do their best to have positive interactions with them because the fans’ support ultimately translates to more money in the bank. Unfortunately, access to the Hype House has led to the victimization of some young fans rather than the house members themselves.
Appeal to Emotion and the Illusion of Intimacy
The hordes of fans who habitually gathered in front of the Hype House weren’t actually all that bad for the famous TikTokers who lived there. In fact, this situation went on uninhibited by security enforcement or calls to the police for a long time. This is because it was a reciprocal interaction between the famous TikTokers and their fans. The fans got to interact with their idols, take photographs, and hear a celebrity say “I love you” to them in real life. In return, Hype House members gain increased loyalty, views, and support which ensures the longevity of their success as TikTok stars.
When kids and teens feel acknowledged by a person they look up to, it can have a powerful effect. An interaction where a celebrity appeals to the emotions of a fan creates an illusion of intimacy. This makes the relationship feel real and can lead to personal exploitation.
Hype House Star Tony Lopez: Sexual Misconduct
TikTok has a feature called Duet that allows users to build on another user’s video by recording and then placing their own videos next to the original to create a sort of split-screen duet. The troublesome aspect of this feature is that, despite the minimum age of use for TikTok being 12 years old, the music and dance moves in popular videos are often sexually suggestive and explicit. Duet videos are wildly popular on the app.
Tony Lopez is a 21-year-old TikTok celebrity and an original member of the Hype House who is known to post sexually explicit videos. He’s been accused of committing multiple acts of sexual misconduct by several young girls. Lopez, who has over 22 million followers on TikTok alone, is alleged to have used his status as an internet celebrity to coerce underaged female fans into engaging in sexually inappropriate exchanges with him. According to these young fans, Tony Lopez employed various forms of emotional manipulation, preying upon their admiration of him as well as their desire to feel a unique and personal connection with him.
The Graphic Video
In 2020, a video of Tony Lopez surfaced on various social media platforms showing him standing nude in front of a mirror while gyrating the lower half of his body. The video was apparently leaked by Twitter users via direct message. After going viral, TikTok parody videos were posted by clothed minors. In response, Tony posted videos laughing along with the caption, “Oops. Lol.”
Solicitation of Child Pornography
During the same year, several underage girls came forward stating that Tony Lopez had either requested or received nude photographs from them or sent them nude photographs of himself. Tony Lopez would use his private Snapchat account to add young female fans and interact with them in an exclusive forum.
Lopez would use the promise of access to his private account by telling girls that he would only add them if they sent him “sexy pics.” A series of screenshots featuring conversations between Tony and the victims on his private Snapchat were posted online by some of the girls themselves. The screenshots show crude attempts by Tony to solicit nude photos as well as his reactions when they refused. When a young fan turned down Tony’s request for nude photos, he blocked her from his private account as punishment. After these allegations came out, Tony Lopez officially separated from the Hype House brand.
Sexual Battery
In January 2021, Tony Lopez was served with a civil lawsuit on behalf of two minors accusing Lopez of sexual battery and emotional distress. Both girls claim that Tony used his fame to groom and coerce them into engaging in sexual acts with him and to solicit nude photographs of them despite being aware that they were underaged. According to the victims, Tony, who was 20 years old at the time, emotionally manipulated the two via text and direct messaging by saying things like, “I’m tryna marry you.” He would ask the girls to sneak out of their homes at night to meet up with him.
One of the girls originally met Lopez when she was invited to the Hype House by founding member Thomas Petrou, who is also named in the lawsuit for negligent hiring of Lopez. After coming forward, Tony’s accusers were cyberstalked, harassed, and threatened with violence by Tony’s avid fans. Tony has publicly denied these allegations stating that the victims’ motivations are to make money.
Why are fans so easily victimized?
The fascination with celebrities that sees young fans either trespassing onto private property or becoming victimized themselves can be explained by a psychological phenomenon referred to as parasocial relationships. A parasocial relationship is characterized as a one-sided emotional attachment to a media persona that can lead to strong feelings of familiarity, intimacy, friendship, and romance.
For the most part, fans realize that the relationship does not actually exist. Yet the intensity of their feelings causes them to react as if it does. This is manifested as investments of time, energy, and emotion just as in real-world relationships. Except, with parasocial relationships, none of these things are reciprocated by the celebrity.
How Parents Can Help
While understanding this phenomenon can help to keep you aware of some of social media’s pitfalls, Dr. Bennett has also created and compiled a series of valuable tools and guidelines to help you equip your family with the knowledge and strategies needed to safely navigate today’s technological world.
To avoid the kinds of negative outcomes addressed in this article, check out Dr. B’s tried and true GKIS Social Media Readiness Course. Our course is a valuable tool that teaches tweens and teens about the inherent risks of social media and ways to be prepared when encountering them. Additionally, parent-child communication and parental oversight are key. Dr. B offers essential tips for fostering this kind of communication in her GKIS Connected Family Course. With this online course, you will learn how to create a safer screen home environment through fun parenting techniques designed to guide sensible screen management.
Thanks to CSUCI intern, Mackenzie Morrow for researching accusations of inappropriate behavior concerning Hype House influencers and co-authoring this article.
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
During the age of lockdowns and quarantines, many children have discovered a new way of finding someone new to talk to. A website known as Omegle, and other websites like it, have filled this social gap in many people’s lives. Omegle is considered a ‘roulette’ style website, where users may set interests and get matched with people with the same interest. This can be only a text chat, or it can be a video chat. If you find screen safety issues overwhelming in your family, you’ll benefit from Dr. Bennett’s weekly parenting and coaching videos on our Screen Safety Essentials Course. The most important thing that parents can do is be aware of the potential risks and promote an environment of open communication with your children. In this program, Dr. B offers a comprehensive family program for fostering this kind of communication in her Screen Safety Essentials Course. With this course, your family will learn tons of information about how to create a safer screen home environment while also connecting and having fun as a family. Armed with the right tools, you and your family can learn how to better thrive in today’s digital era. In this GKIS Sensible Guide, we will explain what you should know before letting your child chat away with complete strangers.
How long has Omegle been around, and how popular is it?
Omegle was created in March 2009. Omegle has recently seen over 54 million daily visits.[2] According to Google, searches for the site began to increase during March 2020, with the number of searches quadrupling the week before Christmas.[1] This surge in users isn’t much of a surprise. People were stuck inside their homes for almost a year due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Much of that time was spent on the computer, so why wouldn’t a website that allows someone to meet a new person be appealing? Teenagers have also created a ritual of hanging out together in person and going on Omegle as a group.
Omegle does state that to use the website, one must be over the age of 13. This is done with a simple pop-up box that can be clicked away. No date verification is required, so this is easy for children to bypass. As explained in the book Screen Time in the Mean Time, parents should use their best judgment to determine whether or not their child is ready to use a website like this. This GKIS Sensible Guide aims to help inform the parents so they are able to make the best decision possible.
Features of Omegle
Text-Chat
Individuals are prompted to enter optional interests to help match them. There are two options for the text chat: Text or Spy Mode
Text: Users are randomly matched in pairs, either based on their interests or completely at random if no interests were entered. Users are completely anonymous so there is no way to get someone’s information unless they offer it. Even if they offer it, they can (and likely will) lie. Either user may end the chat at any time.
Spy: Three users are matched together, two regular chatters and a spy. The spy prompts the other two with a previously entered question. The spy is unable to contribute to the conversation at all, they may only watch. The chatters focus on answering the question presented. Any user can end the conversation at any time.
There is no option for a ‘filtered’ text option. The website warns against profanity, sexual harassment, or violent threats, but there is no way to filter those statements out. If the user gets matched with someone who does any of these, the website simply says to ‘end the chat’.
The website itself warns that predators have been known to use text/video chat to groom or lure victims. It claims that it cannot control human behavior, and only the person committing these actions should be held accountable.
Video-Chat
Similar to text chat, users are randomly matched based on interests if possible. This can be in pairs or in groups. All user’s webcams will turn on while searching for a match.
This section has an option to report nudity, violent threats, and sexual content in addition to numerous other things one might encounter during chatting. This section does not allow any of these.
This section is aimed at users under the age of 18.
These filters to protect users don’t always work. Even the website itself warns that some things of inappropriate nature might be encountered.
“Unmonitored” Video-Chat
This is a carbon copy of the video-chat section with one crucial difference. No filter is used to prevent users from showing nudity or sexual imagery on their webcam chat.
This section is aimed at users who want a more ‘mature’ chatting experience, as long as they are over the age of 18.
Benefits of Omegle
When used correctly, and age-appropriately, it allows for individuals to talk with someone who has similar interests.
It can help an individual feel less alone and more connected in a quarantined world.
Risks of Omegle
The filters in place for the monitored section have inconsistent results. Some users still report encountering things that they shouldn’t several times in a row.
Children are more susceptible to believing an individual who may be lying. This may result in them giving information they shouldn’t to a complete stranger.
This website has the potential to expose children to sexual imagery, violent threats, phishing scams, and numerous other dangers.
None of the age checks are secure. Your child can easily access a section of the website that they shouldn’t with one simple click, no verification needed. This poses both a giant risk for the child and a giant temptation for them.
Throughout its lifetime Omegle has proven to be a constant source of controversy. This led GKIS to consider Omegle to be a red-light app, meaning that it is not recommended for anyone under the age of 18. The possible exposure to explicit material is too hard to control, and the fact that the website itself warns that predators do use this website to target victims were two of many factors that led us to this decision. If you think that your child may be using Omegle or other social media apps, consider our Social Media Readiness Course to help them stay safe.
Thanks to CSUCI intern, Dakota Byrne for researching Omegle and co-authoring this article.
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
April is Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month (SAAPM). According to the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network every nine minutes a child is sexually abused, 93% of survivors know the perpetrator, and 1 in 5 kids have been solicited sexually online before the age of 18.[1] The National Sexual Assault Hotline (1-800-656-4673) provides confidential support to victims. This GKIS article covers sexual violence, technology misuse, support groups, and ways to help. The following information may be triggering to some readers, discretion is advised.
Sexual Violence
Ending sexual violence and assault has become a national outcry. The National Sexual Violence Resource Center conducted a survey in the United States, reporting 734,630 people were raped in 2018.[2] GKIS has partnered with various organizations to raise awareness and end sexual assault.
Survivors endure the trauma of the assault and suffer chronic mental disorders (post-traumatic stress disorder, substance abuse, depression) and physical issues (HIV, sexually transmitted infections (STI), unplanned pregnancy).
The Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners (SANE) is a 24-hour service of first responders aiding sexual assault victims. SANE supports victims with emotional recovery, offers STI testing, and provides investigational leads to law enforcement which speeds and increases the chance for prosecution.[2]
Sexual assault is legally defined as “any type of sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of a recipient.”[3] By legal definition, the following are types of sexual assaults according to California law:
In 2015, the People of the State of California v. Brock Allen Turner made national headlines for convicting a Stanford student for sexually assaulting an unconscious victim. He received a sentence of six months for his crimes. Based on the previous CA law, prison time was only sentenced if the victim could defend themselves. The presiding judge, Aaron Persky, was disbarred after his ruling stating that a prison sentence would “have a severe effect” on the student’s future.[3] In an effort to decrease victim-blaming, former Governor Jerry Brown signed AB 2888 which requires a mandatory minimum sentence and requires that sex crime convictions must result in state prison.[3]
Victimization of Children
Sexual violence is common in youth, with reports of 42.2% of females having experienced their first completed rape before 18 according to the 2010 summary report by the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey.[15] Sexual abuse of minors is often unreported because victims are often secretly coerced and confused about the feelings that result from the abuse. Legally, a child cannot consent to sexual activity with an adult due to immature brain development.[4] Pettis and Hughes report that male adult victims are particularly unlikely to seek treatment for childhood abuse.[4]
Violence in Intimate Relationships
Sexual abuse involving an intimate relationship refers to an unwanted or coercive sexual behavior toward one’s partner. In a Burke and colleagues’ study, males and females with high feminine gender identity were more likely to sustain abuse if they refused to perform sexual acts.[5]
Warning signs of an abusive relationship include if your partner
isolates you from friends or family
manipulates you into performing sexual acts
gets frustrated and jealous if you have unaccounted-for time
Sexual harassment is defined as an unwelcome verbal or physical advance for sexual gratification.[7] A study by Adams-Roy and Barling reported that 35-45% of women face severe sexual harassment at the workplace, resulting in an increase in stress, anxiety, and depression. Assertiveness training often helps victims of sexual harassment confront the assaulter.[7]
Online Sexual Abuse
Online sexual abuse is defined by the United Nations Children’s Funds as coercing victims to use live streams, virtual communities, and social media platforms for illegal sexual acts.[13] Social media influencers have been accused of having sexual relationships with minors. For example, YouTube and Tik Tok influencers James Charles and Tony Lopez have been accused of inappropriate intimate involvement with young fans using fame, power, sexual manipulation, and abusive behaviors. Uplift is a non-profit organization that was founded in 2015 that works to combat sexual abuse in the online community. John Green, author of “The Fault in our Stars,” pledged to support the Uplift movement on YouTube, helping Uplift attract additional supporters.
Our 2015 article, How Texting Can Turn To Sexting in the Blink of an Eye, explains how predators groom children in order to pressure them to send nude photos. Revenge porn is another form of digital abuse, defined as the act of posting someone else’s nude image without consent. Perpetrators illegally use the photos to control and exploit their victims. Revenge porn laws vary by state. If you want to know your state’s revenge porn laws, visit Cyberbully.
Sex Trafficking
Sex trafficking is the use of force, fraud, and coercion against someone for prostitution, pornography, and sexual performance fueled by the buyer’s money.[14] Sex trafficking is increasingly aiding the internet. It has been estimated that 3.8 million adults and 1 million children are used for forced and commercial sexual exploitation each year.[11] In 2020, a conspiracy erupted on Reddit accusing Wayfair of trafficking children by disguising codes located behind furniture sales. The public demanded the U.S. government to investigate allegations, which were later proven false.
People who are vulnerable to sex trafficking include:
Frequently child sexual abuse (commonly called child pornography) is captured and shared on smartphones and Go-Pro. According to California law, sending or receiving semi-nude or nude images of minors is child sexual abuse. This act qualifies as transmitting obscene material by distributing generated image(s) containing sexual conduct, punishable up to six years in state prison.[11]
Another form of camera misconduct is capturing or recording a subject in a bedroom or restroom without their consent. In 2019, a vacation rental guest rented an Airbnb for the weekend. He discovered that the chargers in the bedroom were video recorders.[12] Now, the placement of indoor cameras inside vacation rentals is illegal.
Security cameras placed in a particular area to capture a neighbor’s pool, bedroom, or restroom are forms of electronic surveillance that may be illegal depending on intent. Voyeurism is defined as gaining sexual pleasure by watching or recording someone undress.[5] A perpetrator may be imprisoned for 60 days and registered as a sex offender. From our recent article, Red-Light Websites and Online Services that Can Be Dangerous to Kids, GKIS described the Hide It Pro application that can store images and videos from security cameras.
Support Groups for SAAPM
Coalition for Family Harmony
This organization offers mental support, including counseling for sexual assault survivors, support groups for adults and teens, forensic exams, and a 24/7 service with the Rape Crisis Advocates. Dr. Sandy Gomez oversees the Rape Crisis Center in Ventura County at Coalition for Family Harmony and LGBTQ Program. She states that “a person’s access to mental health services should not be limited by their socioeconomic status.” Ten free psychotherapy sessions using a survivor-centered approach are available for sexual assault survivors. There are extended services for survivors who are of color and LGBTQ+.
In April, the Coalition for Family Harmony offers presentations to educate the community and mitigate online romance fraud, which is defined as the act of deceiving another person for financial gains through an online romantic relationship using a fake identity.
A special message from Dr. Sandy Gomez; “If you have experienced sexual violence, you are not alone and what happened to you is not your fault. You are the expert of your situation and we are here to help you review your options so that you can make an informed decision that works for your needs.” Contact their office at (805) 983-6014 or 1-800-300-2181 for a 24-hour Bilingual Crisis Hotline.
The Clothesline Project at Ventura College
According to Professor Capuano, the Ventura Psychology Club advisor and Coordinator of the Clothesline Project for 18 years, the purpose of the Clothesline Project “is to educate students and the community that violence is a problem everywhere, and that help is available.” Students and the community can visit Ventura College to listen to survivors, attend presentations, receive on-site counseling, and speak with 15+ local organizations. Visitors put their personal message on a shirt for display on campus. Topics covered include incest, cyber exploitation, domestic violence, and sexual violence.
Bikers Against Child Abuse
B.A.C.A. is a non-profit organization free of charge which assists abused children. They work together in conjunction with the local and state officials. B.A.C.A. uses their physical appearance to lend physical and emotional support. These bikers are the shield that protects children from future physical, sexual, and emotional abuse.
Ogie, a current member of B.A.C.A., uses the phrase, “no child should live in fear,” giving children hope for a safer world. In the eyes of children and the community, they are heroes. There are monthly meetings for members and the general public to attend. For more information on Who Is B.A.C.A. and local chapters in your area, visit their website.
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
Thirty-three percent of female sexual assault victims contemplate suicide.[1] The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) offers advocacy, research, education, and support to survivors with suicidal ideation. They recognize the importance of diversity, equity, and inclusion. AFSP is offering spring actives, such as Marathon in a Month and Campus Walks Day of Action. To learn more about the events, visit AFSP Greater Los Angeles and Central Coats. Let us be the voice AFSP is missioning for “Save Lives and Bring Hope to Those Affected by Suicide.”
Denim Day
In 1992, a 45-year-old driving instructor raped an 18-year-old woman on her first driving lesson in Italy. The survivor reported the rape, and the perpetrator was arrested and jailed for 6 years. Years later, the man appealed his conviction stating it was consensual sex evidenced by her tight jeans that would be too difficult to be pulled off involuntarily. The conviction was overturned, allowing the rapist to be released. This was to be known as the “jean alibi.”[9]
A Denim Day campaign was established in 1999 to support sexual assault victims. Denim Day is considered the most prolonged prevention and education movement for sexual assault.[9] Feel free to tag GKIS social media accounts to see you be a part of the movement.
The importance of consent shows respect for others and yourself. If you are struggling to explain or understand consent, visit Blue Seat Studio’s published video on YouTube: Tea Consent.
Call to Action Against Sexual Assault
LISTEN to victims when they report assault and assist them to achieve emotional and physical safety (e.g., walking, shopping, or eating in public settings).
PARTICIPATE in April to show your support. Wear or post a teal ribbon on your social media page to give awareness of sexual assault.
ACT to stop victim-blaming, known as the belief that the victim is responsible for the assault because of how they dressed, spoke, or behaved. Fear of being blamed is a significant contributor to the low rates of unreported cases.
Adults must show respectful modeling behaviors to all genders to reduce sexual assault. At National Sexual Violence Resource Center, Jenny Coleman explains the importance of speaking out if someone uses inappropriate phrases and terminology in front of minors. If you order our highly reviewed online course, The GKIS Connected Family Course, GKIS will invite you to our private parenting Facebook group in the service of child safety.
GKIS recommends taking self-defense classes to protect yourself from sexual assault. Visit Ando Mierzwa on YouTube or Threat Management on Tik Tok for free self-defense tactics used in martial arts. Furthermore, BSafe, My Safetipin, and Life360 are GPS tracking apps to provide personal safety in dangerous situations.
SPEAK out against sexual violence outside of April. The importance of sharing one’s story brings hope and awareness. For sexual assault survivors who are willing to share their stories, Boston University created an Instagram page for survivors to be heard: visit Campus Survivors. At the end of the day, the story being said is yours, and the story has the power to change the world.
Thanks to CSUCI intern, Christian Sandoval, for giving awareness and prevention of sexual assault in April. The importance of hearing someone’s story is critical, and we hope you will support the movement.
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
[1] Children and teens: Statistics. (n.d.). Retrieved March 18, 2021, from Rainn.org website: https://www.rainn.org/statistics/children-and-teens
[2] Morgan, E. R., & Oudekerk, A. B. (2019). Criminal Victimization, 2018. Bureau of Justice Statistics. Retrieved from https://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/cv18.pdf
[3] Sevenslegal. (2016, September 8). An update to California’s sexual assault laws. Retrieved March 18, 2021, from Sevenslegal.com website: https://www.sevenslegal.com/assault/update-californias-sexual-assault-laws/538/
[4] Pettis, K., & Hughes, R. (1985). Sexual Victimization of Children: A Current Perspective. Behavioral Disorders,10(2), 136-144. Retrieved March 16, 2021, from http://www.jstor.org/stable/23882265
[5] Burke, P., Stets, J., & Pirog-Good, M. (1988). Gender Identity, Self-Esteem, and Physical and Sexual Abuse in Dating Relationships. Social Psychology Quarterly,51(3), 272-285. Retrieved March 16, 2021, from http://www.jstor.org/stable/2786925
[6] Intimate Partner Sexual Violence. (n.d.). Retrieved March 18, 2021, from Rainn.org website: https://www.rainn.org/articles/intimate-partner-sexual-violence
[7] Adams-Roy, J., & Barling, J. (1998). Predicting the Decision to Confront or Report Sexual Harassment. Journal of Organizational Behavior,19(4), 329-336. Retrieved March 16, 2021, from http://www.jstor.org/stable/3100150
[8] National Sexual Violence Resource Center. (2020, April 3). Start at home: Modeling healthy behaviors keeps kids safe. Retrieved March 18, 2021, from Sexual Assault Awareness Month 2020 website: https://medium.com/sexual-assault-awareness-month-2020/start-at-home-modeling-healthy-behaviors-keeps-kids-safe-f454b929a2a0
[9] Why denim? — denim Day. (n.d.). Retrieved March 18, 2021, from Denimdayinfo.org website: https://www.denimdayinfo.org/why-denim
[10] Myths, facts, and statistics. (2018, November 7). Retrieved April 8, 2021, from Polarisproject.org website: https://polarisproject.org/myths-facts-and-statistics/
[14] Chin, K.-L., & Finckenauer, J. O. (2012). What is sex trafficking? In Selling Sex Overseas (pp. 1–33). NYU Press.
[15] Black C. M., Basile C. K., Breiding J. M., Smith G. S., Walters L. M., Merrick T. M., Chen J., & Stevens R. M. (2011). National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey 2010 Summary Report. Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/NISVS_Report2010-a.pdf
Our kids are able to find websites that are not recommended for minors. All parents must be aware of these listed websites so that their child will not be a victim of digital injury. Unlike apps, websites make it much easier for underage children to gain quick access to explicit content. GKIS will provide a brief description of the websites, dangers attached to the websites, and methods to prevent digital injury.
Websites to Look Out For
Parler
In our previous blog article, Parler the Free Speech App was covered as a social network platform focusing on the freedom of speech protected under the first Amendment and user’s rights privileges. An increase of conservative users arrived on the platform in the wake of feeling censored on Twitter. In a battle between liberal and conservative views, big tech censorship has become a public outrage sending users to Parler.
As for children, GKIS stands by our previous decided outcome of Parler not being appropriate for minors due to extreme views and lack of censorship. According to Google Trends, the analysis of popularity for search with interest over time (IOT) ranges from 0 to 100. From January 10th to 16th 2021, Parler had a 78 IOT.[8] With a high population usage and the ability to not fact-check user’s posts, children using the app would likely be exposed to false and conspiracy-laden content.
Onlyfans
One of our most-read articles of 2020, Is Your Teen Selling Nudes on Onlyfans?, explained the risks that on Onlyfans kids and teens may easily access pornographic content. Onlyfans is a social media platform meant for users to access a creator’s content that may provide sexual content to subscribers for a monthly payment. From February 21st to 27th 2021, Google Trends reports that Onlyfans had a 99 IOT.[8] According to Onlyfans terms of service, the user must be 18+. Still, there are reports of minors bypassing the age verification without parent knowledge.[1]
GKIS cautions that minors should not have access to Onlyfans due to leaked information, stalking, life-threats, unemployment risks, and family separation. If you worry that your child could become a victim of sexual exploitation, you will get huge benefits from Dr. Bennett’s weekly parent and family coaching videos on the GetKidsInternetSafe App! Your first 30 days are free!
Toomics
In this comic book subscription service, users can receive Japanese and South Korean comics on horror, romance, and action genres. The service does provide a family mode to exclude inappropriate content. However, children can enable or disable the mode without password requirement.
GKIS recommends monitoring this service or, even better, blocking it from your children entirely. There is a vast amount of sexual content and nudity on this service, including comic book sex scenes, incest, and rape. According to the Google Trends report, from February 7th to 13th 2021, Toomics reports an 85 IOT based on search popularity.[8]
Reddit
In 2005, Reddit grew to be the most popular forum website on the internet. But how safe is it for children? The service provides subreddits of vast topics into smaller ones (e.g., from r/books into r/horror stories or r/Stephen King). Subreddits are organized by moderators who are individuals who manage the forum. As of February 27th 2021, Google Trend reports Reddit as an 87 IOT.[8]
Reddit may not look dangerous, but it does have a high volume of not safe for work (NSFW) material that may be easily accessible to children who lie about their age upon entry into the site. Reddit can be used for searching, browsing, and messaging anyone or anything which obviously holds a high risk of digital injury. For more information on the signs and risks of digital injury, be sure to check out Screen Time in the Mean Time A Parenting Guide to Get Kids and Teens Internet Safe.
The Chive
The Chive’s mission statement is “an outlet for attractive ladies from around the world to strut their stuff.” Although intended to be funny, much of the content on this site demonstrates misogynistic views and a strong prejudice against women.
Google trends reports, The Chive has a 95 IOT from February 21st to 27th 2021.[8] GKIS considers this a red light service due to its raunchy and sexist humor. A study by Brown and L’Engle (2009) reported a significant finding that adolescents exposed to sexual content in media are more likely to engage in sexual harassment two years after watching the activity.[3]
DeviantArt
DeviantArt is an online social community where members share their artwork for critique and to build a fanbase. According to their website, DeviantArt has 55 million users and has a score of 92 IOT from February 21st to 27th 2021.[8] DeviantArt earned a red light GKIS rating because reviews report extremely violent and bloody works of art. Parents also report content involving cursing, insulting, stealing art, fetishes, and nudity on community posts.[4]
4Chan
This highly controversial (and GKIS-rated red light) forum had made headlines because of anonymous users posting nude photographs of dozens of celebrities, including Emma Watson. 4Chan users often endorse sexist ideologies against female gamers like the cyberbullying of Jessi Slaughter and discuss neo-Nazi radicalism.[5] Unlike Reddit, users are not required to form an account. Due to its anonymity, kids can easily participate in R-rated posts undetected and unmonitored.[5]
If you haven’t selected a child-safe browser or set parental controls on devices, through your internet service provider, or through third-party apps and services, you’ll want to check out our Screen Safety Toolkit. We did the research for you with this comprehensive how-to safety resource guide.
Tumblr
In our GKIS article “The GKIS Sensible Parent’s Guide to Tumblr,” we rated this social media platform as a yellow-light app due to sexual images and inappropriate content often displayed on member accounts. With over 30 million users and a score of 83 IOT as of February 14th to 20th 2021, this microblogging social platform is still quite popular.[8]
High-risk content includes self-harm, sexual content, eating disorders, and drugs. There are also reports of sex offenders using the website to incite sexual conversations with children. We stand by our previous decision to recommend parents closely monitor their teen’s activities within the website.
Pornographic Websites (NSFW)
A popular website used for viewing pornographic content like photos, videos, and live streams is PornHub. To learn more about how porn impacts our kids and teens, read our GKIS article “Online Pornography’s Impact on Kids and Teens.” We previously reported that 13% of internet searches are found to access pornography. Due to increased access, that percentage has increased to 20% on the computer and mobile internet browsers.[6]
Fight The New Drug is a non-profit organization trying to reduce porn addiction and set regulations for the porn industry. In 2020, they reported that PornHub’s popular searches were “lesbian,” “teen,” “stepmom,” “mom,” “step-sister,” “hardcore,” “gangbang,” and “rough sex.”[7] Further, the average age for first exposure to hardcore pornography has been estimated to be 11 years old.[7]
GKIS highly recommends that parents add pornography websites onto their restricted website list in parental controls. The website Top Porn Sites can help you block them in child-safe browsers.
Hide it Pro
We would all love to believe that we can trust our kids not to search out, post, and collect inappropriate content online. But sadly, we just can’t. Kids and teens often delight in discovering and sharing titillating and forbidden content and hide it from parents. We cover how to check for apps that hide content in our Screen Safety Toolkit and Dr. B covers it in her coaching sessions on the GetKidsInternetSafe App. To get you started with safety, check all devices for Hide it Pro, a particularly popular hiding app.
Set up content restrictions on tablet and phone devices.
On iOS products, Apple has designated a method for parents to limit adult websites for their safety. Follow these steps:
Go to Settings > Screen Time
Tap Content & Privacy Restrictions and enter your Screen Time passcode
Tap Content Restrictions, then tap Web Content
Choose Limit Adult Websites, and Tap Never Allow: Add Website[9]
In this section, you can add each of the listed above websites to protect your child.
Google has designated parents’ methods to limit adult websites for their child’s safety on Android products. Follow these steps:
Open Settings
Tap Digital Wellbeing
Tap Parental controls > tap Get started
Select Parent
Tap Get Family Link and install Google Family Link for parents
Tap Open (review the information) > tap Get started
Use the on-screen instructions on both phones to finish connecting the two devices. Once it’s all set up, you can use the Family Link app to keep an eye on everything[10]
Thanks to CSUCI intern, Christian Sandoval for locating harmful websites that parents should restrict minors from interacting.
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
Onward to More Awesome Parenting,
Tracy S. Bennett, Ph. D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe
[3] Brown, J. D., & L’Engle, K. L. (2009). X-rated: Sexual attitudes and behaviors associated with U.s. early adolescents’ exposure to sexually explicit media. Communication Research, 36(1), 129–151.
Meeting people online can be fun and exciting, especially for teens. However, there are risks. If you want to prepare your child for these risks, check out the GKIS Social Media Readiness Course. You may have heard of popular adult dating apps likeTinder or Bumble. In this GKIS article, we cover 5 dating apps that are popularly used by teens that you probably have never heard of.
Yubo
Yubo is a location-based social networking app advertised for making new friends, but many people describe it as a dating app for teens.
This app contains many features such as:
Stream: share live stream videos with friends.
Chat: chat with friends and other app users.
Swipe: discover new friends nearby or around the world.
Find a community: connect with people who have the same interests by finding a community. The online communities range from art and sports to LGBTQ+.
Play: play games with friends like Q&A, Would You Rather and Let Them Guess.
Yubo’s age rating is 17+, but there is no age verification for this app, meaning any teen can use it and lie about their birthday.
Teendr
Teendr is marketed as a dating app for teens. On this app, users can meet and chat with new friends nearby based on their common interests like music, games, and more.
This app contains:
Unlimited swipe: swipe right to meet new people or left to ignore.
Search nearby: discover matches based on location.
Game & music sharing: meet people based on their gaming and music preferences, which they can share on the app.
Teendr is also rated 17+, with no age verification.
Spotafriend
Spotafriend is an app designed for teens to meet new people in their proximity. On the app store, it is described as “not a teen dating app,” but that’s what many teens are using it for.
Spotafriend includes:
Swipe: swipe right to become friends with someone.
Chat: chat privately when you get a match.
Spotafriend is rated 17+, but it is designed for ages 13-19.
The Game by Hot or Not
The Game by Hot or Not is another app that allows teens to meet people in their area. It is marketed as an app to find the ‘hottest’ people nearby.
This app includes:
Ratings: rate each other’s attractiveness by tapping a heart on your profiles.
Direct messages: Users who match (by liking each other’s profiles) can exchange messages.
Location services: find people in your proximity.
Age: Hot or Not was originally rated 17+, but is now 18+ with no age verification.
Skout
Skout is a social networking app that allows its users to meet people nearby or around the world.
The app features:
Preference and location: connect with people based on preferences and proximity.
Live broadcasting: broadcast live videos on the app and watch other’s videos.
Chat and upload photos: send direct messages, share photos, and like/comment on other users’ photos.
Promote: Skout claims to have in-app features that increase your chances of finding new people and chatting.
Skout is rated 17+, but only people 18+ are allowed to join. Again, there is no age verification.
Meeting and flirting with people online can be exciting and fun, but it can also come with risks.
Catfishing and Online Grooming
Not everyone on the internet is who they say they are. Some people make fake profiles to deceive other users, which is called catfishing. On dating apps and social media, your teen can get exposed to sexual predators who use catfishing and grooming techniques to gain their trust.
Sexting
Oftentimes, teens exchange their phone numbers and Snapchat usernames when they connect with others online. This can easily lead to sending sexual messages and photos. According to Guardchild:
20% of teens have sent or posted semi-nude photos or videos of themselves
39% of teens have sent sexually suggestive messages online
Sexting is common among teens which can be scary if their photos end up in the wrong hands and are shared publicly. This can lead to bullying, blackmailing, and emotional distress for the victim. For more information about sexting, check out the GKIS article, How Texting Can Turn To Sexting in the Blink of an Eye.
Cyberbullying and Harassment
Using dating apps and social media increases the likelihood of your teen experiencing cyberbullying and online harassment. Your teen might experience hateful comments, stalkers, and receive unwanted sexual messages.
Click here to read a GKIS survivor’s story about teen bullying and sexual abuse.
If you see your teen using dating apps…
Don’t panic. Most likely, many of your teen’s peers are also using the same apps.
Have an open discussion about the risks of dating or social networking apps.
Teach them to turn off location services for apps to disable people from seeing where they are.
Encourage them to approach you if anything makes them feel uncomfortable online.
Remember that it’s okay to say no, especially if they are too young to have an account.
Betts, J. (n.d.). Teen Dating Apps. Retrieved December 03, 2020, from https://teens.lovetoknow.com/relationships/teen-dating-apps
Online Dating – The Risks For Teens. (n.d.). Retrieved December 03, 2020, from https://www.internetmatters.org/resources/teens-and-online-dating-advice-hub-for-parents/online-dating-the-risks-for-teens/
Online Dating Is Especially Risky For Teens. (2020, September 17). Retrieved December 03, 2020, from https://yourteenmag.com/social-life/tips-teen-dating/online-teen-dating
Team, F. (n.d.). Swipe right for trouble: Six teen dating apps parents need to know about. Retrieved December 03, 2020, from https://www.familyzone.com/anz/families/blog/six-teen-dating-apps-parents-need-to-know
Teenage Sexting Statistics. (n.d.). Retrieved December 03, 2020, from https://www.guardchild.com/teenage-sexting-statistics/
Updated: November 8, 2., Kelli Dugan, C., Bob D’Angelo, C., Natalie Dreier, C., & Jared Leone, C. (2019, November 08). Teen dating apps: 5 popular dating apps that parents need to know. Retrieved December 03, 2020, from https://www.whio.com/news/local/teen-dating-apps-popular-dating-apps-that-parents-need-know/KQGkhTpFCxeyrmLejeODpN/
Thanks to CSUCI intern, Katherine Carroll for researching fetish content on TikTok.
