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Is YouTube Still Targeting Your Kids?

In 2019, YouTube was fined 170 million dollars for illegally advertising to kids. In this article, we’ll cover how YouTube broke the law designed to offer protection for children online, what they did to fix it, and the gap that still puts kids at risk.

To help protect your kids from inappropriate content on the internet, check out our Screen Safety Essential Course. This program offers access to weekly parent and family-oriented coaching videos that will help you to create safer screen home environments and foster open communication all while connecting and having fun as a family. Dr. Bennett’s coaching helps parents make more informed decisions about internet safety and educates families so they can use good judgment when encountering risks online.

What is COPPA?

The Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA) requires websites to get parent’s permission before collecting identifying data (like a kid’s name or address) or the cookies from the computer the child is using for children 13 and under. Cookies is a term for a type of data packet sent from a website to a computer and the computer returns the packet to the website. These data packets are a way for websites to track a user and record their actions on the site. Any company caught violating COPPA may be fined up to a maximum of $42,530 per violation.

COPPA applies to any website that is aimed at children or has an audience that can include children such as:

  • PBS Kids
  • Sesame Street
  • Nickelodeon
  • Cartoon Network

How did YouTube break the law?

In 2015 YouTube created a secondary website and app called YouTube Kids dedicated to content for children ages 12 and under. YouTube makes the bulk of their revenue by selling ads and gathering customer data. Customer data is valuable to marketers because it helps them better target advertisements. YouTube Kids gathered child customer data using cookies without parent permission. This was a violation of COPPA. As a result, YouTube received a fine of 170 million dollars.

YouTube marketed itself to advertisers on its popularity with children and made millions of dollars on the subsequent revenue. This led to a surge in kid-oriented content creators who made quick and easy-to-produce videos to capitalize on the profitability of these new advertisers. For example, toy unboxing videos became popular because it was an easy to produce video that generated a lot of views. These content creators are also violators of COPPA because they capitalized on YouTube’s violation for profit.

What has YouTube changed?

The good news is that YouTube no longer collects your children’s personal identifiers and will not allow advertisements that attempt to collect them either. YouTube along with the FTC have also cracked down on content creators who intentionally abused the ad revenue system by mass producing content while YouTube was still collecting kid’s data. Those channels were reported by YouTube, reviewed by the FTC, and channels found guilty were then fined for their own COPPA violation.

YouTube also has guidelines to limit what can be advertised to children. For example, YouTube does not allow advertising of any kind of food or beverage to children. YouTube has also added content filters that are meant to catch content that is oriented at kids and ensure that any advertisement that can collect your data can’t show up on those videos.

But kids are still viewing inappropriate content

The bad news is that the YouTube advertisement system isn’t perfect. YouTube may not be able to target advertisements at your child specifically anymore, but they can still target advertisements at children using videos marked as for children on their main site, or using their secondary site YouTube Kids. YouTube has extra guidelines for kid-oriented advertisements. However,  YouTube does not regulate video content in the same way they regulate advertisements. For example, YouTube won’t allow a thirty second ad about Kool-Aid on their platform if it’s aimed at kids, but Kool-Aid can make a channel and post videos that are essentially an advertisement dressed up like an entertaining video for children. If you’d like to learn more about how advertising affects your children, GKIS already has an article detailing just that linked here.

What does this mean for your child on YouTube?

YouTube has put better practices into place after the COPPA fine. That doesn’t mean that their business model is any different. YouTube is still a website that makes the majority of its money off of advertisements. The website may not be collecting your child’s data but their attention is still a commodity being sold. Content on YouTube can be fun and even educational for children, but you have to be careful of what content your kids are watching.

What can you do to protect your kids on YouTube?

Check what your kids are watching

If you check in on what your child is watching every few videos then you can be sure that they haven’t slipped into watching advertisements dressed up as videos.

Familiarize yourself with your child’s favorite creators

Check a couple of their videos and make sure their content is something you want your child to watch. It will also allow you to be sure this content creator isn’t advertising anything to your children in their videos.

GKIS how to spot marketing supplement

Here at GKIS our how to spot marketing supplement will help teach your kids about the strategies marketers use, and will help them identify when a video is really an advertisement in disguise.

GKIS social media readiness course

Bennett’s social media readiness course helps to teach your kids how to be safe online and recognize the risks on social media sites and found in gaming.

Thanks to CSUCI intern, Jason T. Stewart for researching YouTube’s COPPA fine and co-authoring this article.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

“Google and YouTube Will Pay Record $170 Million for Alleged Violations of Children’s Privacy Law” FTC, https://www.ftc.gov/news-events/press-releases/2019/09/google-youtube-will-pay-record-170-million-alleged-violations

“What are cookies” Norton, https://us.norton.com/internetsecurity-privacy-what-are-cookies.html

Stuart Cobb, “It’s Coppa-cated: Protecting Children’s Privacy in the Age of YouTube” Houston Law Review, https://houstonlawreview.org/article/22277-it-s-coppa-cated-protecting-children-s-privacy-in-the-age-of-youtube

“Advertising on YouTube Kids” Google, https://support.google.com/youtube/answer/6168681?hl=en

Photo Credits

Photo by Tymon Oziemblewski from Pixabay

(https://pixabay.com/photos/youtube-laptop-notebook-online-1158693/)

Photo by Pradip Kumar Rout from Pixabay (https://pixabay.com/photos/cyber-law-legal-internet-gavel-3328371/)

Photo by allinonemovie from Pixabay

(https://pixabay.com/illustrations/minecraft-video-game-blocks-block-1106253/)

Photo by Chuck Underwood from Pixabay

(https://pixabay.com/photos/child-girl-young-caucasian-1073638/)

 

The GKIS Sensible Parent’s Guide to Omegle

During the age of lockdowns and quarantines, many children have discovered a new way of finding someone new to talk to. A website known as Omegle, and other websites like it, have filled this social gap in many people’s lives. Omegle is considered a ‘roulette’ style website, where users may set interests and get matched with people with the same interest. This can be only a text chat, or it can be a video chat. If you find screen safety issues overwhelming in your family, you’ll benefit from Dr. Bennett’s weekly parenting and coaching videos on our Screen Safety Essentials Course. The most important thing that parents can do is be aware of the potential risks and promote an environment of open communication with your children. In this program, Dr. B offers a comprehensive family program for fostering this kind of communication in her Screen Safety Essentials Course. With this course, your family will learn tons of information about how to create a safer screen home environment while also connecting and having fun as a family. Armed with the right tools, you and your family can learn how to better thrive in today’s digital era. In this GKIS Sensible Guide, we will explain what you should know before letting your child chat away with complete strangers.

How long has Omegle been around, and how popular is it?

Omegle was created in March 2009. Omegle has recently seen over 54 million daily visits.[2] According to Google, searches for the site began to increase during March 2020, with the number of searches quadrupling the week before Christmas.[1] This surge in users isn’t much of a surprise. People were stuck inside their homes for almost a year due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Much of that time was spent on the computer, so why wouldn’t a website that allows someone to meet a new person be appealing? Teenagers have also created a ritual of hanging out together in person and going on Omegle as a group.

Omegle does state that to use the website, one must be over the age of 13. This is done with a simple pop-up box that can be clicked away. No date verification is required, so this is easy for children to bypass. As explained in the book Screen Time in the Mean Time, parents should use their best judgment to determine whether or not their child is ready to use a website like this. This GKIS Sensible Guide aims to help inform the parents so they are able to make the best decision possible.

Features of Omegle

Text-Chat

  • Individuals are prompted to enter optional interests to help match them. There are two options for the text chat: Text or Spy Mode
    • Text: Users are randomly matched in pairs, either based on their interests or completely at random if no interests were entered. Users are completely anonymous so there is no way to get someone’s information unless they offer it. Even if they offer it, they can (and likely will) lie. Either user may end the chat at any time.
    • Spy: Three users are matched together, two regular chatters and a spy. The spy prompts the other two with a previously entered question. The spy is unable to contribute to the conversation at all, they may only watch. The chatters focus on answering the question presented. Any user can end the conversation at any time.
  • There is no option for a ‘filtered’ text option. The website warns against profanity, sexual harassment, or violent threats, but there is no way to filter those statements out. If the user gets matched with someone who does any of these, the website simply says to ‘end the chat’.
  • The website itself warns that predators have been known to use text/video chat to groom or lure victims. It claims that it cannot control human behavior, and only the person committing these actions should be held accountable.

Video-Chat

  • Similar to text chat, users are randomly matched based on interests if possible. This can be in pairs or in groups. All user’s webcams will turn on while searching for a match.
  • This section has an option to report nudity, violent threats, and sexual content in addition to numerous other things one might encounter during chatting. This section does not allow any of these.
  • This section is aimed at users under the age of 18.
  • These filters to protect users don’t always work. Even the website itself warns that some things of inappropriate nature might be encountered.

“Unmonitored” Video-Chat

  • This is a carbon copy of the video-chat section with one crucial difference. No filter is used to prevent users from showing nudity or sexual imagery on their webcam chat.
  • This section is aimed at users who want a more ‘mature’ chatting experience, as long as they are over the age of 18.

Benefits of Omegle

  • When used correctly, and age-appropriately, it allows for individuals to talk with someone who has similar interests.
  • It can help an individual feel less alone and more connected in a quarantined world.

Risks of Omegle

  • The filters in place for the monitored section have inconsistent results. Some users still report encountering things that they shouldn’t several times in a row.
  • Children are more susceptible to believing an individual who may be lying. This may result in them giving information they shouldn’t to a complete stranger.
  • This website has the potential to expose children to sexual imagery, violent threats, phishing scams, and numerous other dangers.
  • None of the age checks are secure. Your child can easily access a section of the website that they shouldn’t with one simple click, no verification needed. This poses both a giant risk for the child and a giant temptation for them.

Throughout its lifetime Omegle has proven to be a constant source of controversy. This led GKIS to consider Omegle to be a red-light app, meaning that it is not recommended for anyone under the age of 18. The possible exposure to explicit material is too hard to control, and the fact that the website itself warns that predators do use this website to target victims were two of many factors that led us to this decision. If you think that your child may be using Omegle or other social media apps, consider our Social Media Readiness Course to help them stay safe.

Thanks to CSUCI intern, Dakota Byrne for researching Omegle and co-authoring this article.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] https://trends.google.com/trends/explore?date=today%205-y&geo=US&q=omegle

[2]https://www.similarweb.com/website/omegle.com/

Photo Credits

  1. Photo by John Schnobrich (https://unsplash.com/photos/2FPjlAyMQTA)
  2. Photo by Annie Spratt (https://unsplash.com/photos/4A1pj4_vClA)

The GKIS Sensible Parent’s Guide to Tik Tok

Tik Tok is a social media app that allows users to create and discover short videos made and posted by users. It’s popular because it combines teen users’ love for social media, music, and creative shorts. They love the authenticity of sharing and creating Tik Tok offers. Dangers are that kids may post and view sexualized or stunt videos and explicit songs, post videos of others without their permission, users are commonly ridiculed and cyberbullied, they may read lewd comments, and there is potential for public direct messaging. Be aware that popular Tik Tok influencers produce highly sexualized content and the “For You” autofeed commonly offers up content that most parents find inappropriate for child viewing. Plus, it’s so fun it’s addictive. Kids can spend hours scrolling endless content. As always, make sure you have familiarity with Tik Tok before you allow your child to use it. And, of course, add it to your free GKIS Connected Family Agreement as an “OK” or a “not yet,” so parameters, rules and regs, and etiquette issues are understood. (If you haven’t downloaded it yet, enter your name and email on our GetKidsInternetSafe home page and it will be emailed immediately). For a comprehensive tween/teen course on how to stay safe on social media, know what to watch out for, and how to apply amazing psychology wellness strategies, check out our GKIS Social Media Readiness Training Course. It gets the conversations started about the truths of Internet risk,. Also, y\ou won’t want to miss the parent setup tips at the end of this article. Our GKIS Sensible Guide provides information that parents need to know to make an informed decision.

What is Tik Tok?

Tik Tok is an app that allows users to create 15-second videos. It’s based on a previously popular app called Musical.ly, which is no longer available. Tik Tok users can post videos they saved on their phones and add sounds, parts of songs, special effects, and filters. Recently, Tik Tok added a new feature that allows users to record their reactions to other Tik Tok videos. The app also includes a feature that notifies users when they’ve spent more than two hours on the app. Users seem to value creativity and authenticity over likes.

How long has it been around and how popular is it?

Tik Tok is developed by ByteDance, a Chinese Internet technology company. It was first released in September 2016 for IOS and Android. Tik Tok’s global offices are located in Los Angeles, London, Dubai, and Tokyo, among other places. As of October 2018, Tik Tok was downloaded 80 million times in the US and 800 million times globally. It is free to use. ByteDance makes its money through advertisements integrated into the app.

How old is old enough for adoption?

Tik Tok’s Term of Service states, “If you are under age 13, you may only use the Services with the consent of your parent or legal guardian. Please be sure your parent or legal guardian has reviewed and discussed these Terms with you.” As you know from other GKIS Sensible Guides, 13 years old allows social media apps to be in compliance with the U.S.’s Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA). It has nothing to do with child psychology. Nobody assessed that 13 years old is a healthy age for app adoption. That is up to you.

Before you make your decision, keep in mind that before 13 years old, kids still have limited ability to understand potential consequences and lack impulse control. In Dr. Bennett’s book, Screen Time in the Mean Time, she recommends no social media app adoption until at least the second semester of sixth grade, when kids have more social experience for creative problem solving and are no longer transitioning into middle school. (If the seventh grade is a transition year in your community, she recommends waiting until spring semester for the introduction). Most parents will find that, even at 13 years old, they are uncomfortable with their kids viewing the sexually explicit and sometimes cruel content easily available on Tik Tok. Follow a few popular Tik Tok influencers to sample what I’m talking about. Of course, every family circumstance is unique. We at GKIS believe that parents are the ultimate authority on your children’s unique traits and “fit” with Tik Tok.

Tik Tok In the News

In December 2019, the U.S. Army and U.S. Navy banned soldiers from using the Tik Tok app on government-owned phones due to concerns that content shared with ByteDance could be used to influence and surveil Americans. ByteDance reports that it stores U.S. user data in the U.S. with backups in Singapore, so it is not subject to Chinese law. But as a security expert told me, “It doesn’t matter where they store the data, it’s how they access it that counts. China is well known for having an excellent ability to steal private data from foreign countries.”

In February 2019, ByteDance was fined $5.7m by the U.S. Federal Trade Commission for illegally collecting personal information from children, like names, emails, addresses, and locations.  in violation of COPPA. The FTC found that Tik Tok failed to delete content from underage children despite receiving thousands of complaints from parents. As a result of the FTC fine, Tik Tok created an experience for underage users which allows them to only access curated, clean videos and not have the ability to comment, search, or post their own videos. Kids can work around this by simply entering a false birthdate.

What are Tik Tok’s popular features?

  • After opening the app through your smartphone, you have the option of looking at the videos of those who you follow, what’s featured, and videos under hashtags.
  • You can follow friends and other Tik Tok users. Those you follow will show up under “following” on the home page of the app. With a simple scroll, you’ll be introduced to the thousands of videos Tik Tok users create. Just because you follow someone doesn’t necessarily mean they follow you back.
  • To make a Tik Tok video, click the square button with the plus sign. Once there, the app will ask you if you want 15 seconds, 60 seconds, or photo templates. You also have the option to add sounds, upload photos or videos, and add effects. Users can also adjust the speed and add filters. Tik Tok provides sound categories like “Trending,” “Country,” “Furry Friends,” “Sweat It Out,” and even “Munchies.”
  • There’s a search feature that allows users to browse through various hashtags. They can also search through categories like “top,” “videos,” “sounds,” and “hashtags.”
  • You can personalize your “For You” feed by ♥︎ing videos you like or choosing “not interested” on those you don’t.
  • Tik Tok nudges its users to go outside of their groups of friends by immediately introducing them to group challenges, theme hashtags, and videos based on a popular song.

What is included in the personal profile?

  • Tik Tok makes signing up to the app simple. You can sign up with an email, name, and phone number or through your Facebook, Google, Instagram, or Twitter accounts or through your Apple ID. From there, you can choose to sync your phone or Facebook contacts with Tik Tok to see if your friends also have an account.
  • Along with a personal profile photo of your choosing, your profile page can also contain your bio, the number of people you follow, who follows you, and how many Tik Tok videos you’ve liked. If you have uploaded Tik Tok videoes, they’re displayed on your profile too.
  • The top left has a button for searching for friends on the app. The top right is a button for the settings. When you click on “edit your profile,” you have the option of adding your Instagram username or your YouTube channel, which will be public to those who can see your profile.

What are the privacy and safety options?

Many Tik Tok users love interacting with a large, global audience to spark creativity and enjoy fun feedback. As a clinical psychologist who sees how some of these collaborations with strangers can turn dangerous, I recommend a private account so you can approve or deny follower requests, and only users you’ve approved as followers can see your content. Of course, we encourage parents to discuss the pros and cons of use with their kids to reach a cooperative agreement.

To do this,

  • Click on the Settings button at the top right corner on your profile page.
  • Click on Privacy and Safety.
  • The first option is “Private Account” or “Allow others to find me.”
  • If you change an already-existing account to private, current followers will not be affected.

You can also remove or block followers at any time. Removing them disables their ability to direct message your teen. Blocking them stops them from interacting with or viewing your teen’s content at all.

Opting for Restricted Mode limits content that may be considered inappropriate. Users can also restrict comments to friends only or block them altogether. The can also disable messaging and disable duets.

Tik Tok offers a Screen Time Management mode with a passcode as one of their Digital Well Being offerings.

If you see inappropriate content while browsing the app, you have the option of reporting it within the app. We noticed that the report button is somewhat difficult to find in that it is hidden among other buttons.

As with most social media apps, the company collects information, including your name, email address, and phone number. They may also collect any messages you send through the app to friends. This is part of their privacy policy.

Tik Tok is rated a 12+ app store rating. This means you can block underage kids from onboarding the app with Gooogle and Apple parental controls. Tik Tok resources for parents include a Top Ten Tips for Parents primer, “You’re in Control,” safety educational videos, a Safety Center, and an ongoing blog series with helpful tips. The videos can be accessed directly in-app @TikTokTips.

What are the risks for use?

Constant Access

When kids are little, parents decide when playdates happen. Once Tik Tok is on board, keep in mind that your kids will have access to their friends whenever they have their device, and other Tik Tok users will have access to your kids. For many, that means 24/7 access. If you’re not OK with that, you’ll have to dock screens consistently or limit their access.

Inappropriate Content

Although the rules state that users younger than age thirteen shouldn’t be on Tik Tok without parental guidance, anyone can simply lie and accept the terms of conditions without informing their parents. Sometimes the content may not be filtered, and any kind of inappropriate content may pop up. Of particular concern is dangerous stunts, hate speech, and sexualized dancing to explicit music lyrics. Imagine watching your 12-year-old dancing sexy to lyrics that include the n-word, the f-word, p&^sy, and worse.

Cyberbullying

A fun video posted today can feel humiliating when viewed tomorrow. Since moderators can’t oversee all comments on the app, there is cyberbullying. Since being creative requires risk, public ridicule now or later is a real concern. Often the ridicule happens when the Tik Tok video is shared on other social media platforms, like Instagram or Twitter. The best way to prevent this would be to keep the account on private and add only people whom you know or are friends with. However, keep in mind that cyberbullies can always screenshot from a private account and share publicly. Users can turn off comments to prevent or stop cyberbullying on their content. Exclusion from posts about friend groups can also be hurtful. Imagine if your child is the one who was left out.

Trends & Attention-Seeking 

Users can produce or view inappropriate Tik Tok’s and often try to attract large numbers of followers with poor posting or comment choices. For example, the trend for “Chop Chop Slide” involves kids filming their parents’ reactions to an unexpected string of very explicit lyrics. Many of these videos of their parents are likely shared without permission. To feed the need for likes, affiliative apps offer the purchase of likes for your posts and to buy more followers.

Stunts & Challenges

Most Tik Tok Challenges are incredibly skillful dance moves. You’ll also see kids singing along with their tongues out and clever facial expressions to vulgar lyrics alone and in groups. Like with the other social media platforms, you’ll also see some winners come up with something like the outlet challenge which involves shoving a penny in a charging cube for sparks. To see what I’m talking about, search YouTube for Best Tik Tok Compilations and prepare to be mesmerized for awhile. The talent Tik Tok inspires is amazing.

Online Predators

If your child’s profile is set to public, anybody signed into the app can view your child’s videos, comment, and message your child. The tech website, Motherboard, reported a large community of adults soliciting young Tik Tok users for nude photos and videos and even sent videos to the children. Lewd and hateful comments have been found on children’s videos. News reports say that, while Tik Tok has attempted to remove those comments after being reported, several inappropriate comments were left on videos. The owners of the accounts that left those comments were not suspended from Tik Tok and were allowed to continue commenting.

It’s Addictive!

Once you test the app, you’ll see how fun it is! It’s hard for users to resist the endless on-demand video content on the Discover page (indexed with hashtags) that is interactive, shocking, funny, creative, musical, and titillating. Be aware that popular Tik Tok influencers produce highly sexualized content and the “For You” autofeed offers up content that is similar to what has been viewed before. Kids spend hours scrolling endless content.

GKIS Parent Checklist for Tik Tok Use:

  • Disable underage use of this 12+ rated app using IOS & Android parental controls.
  • Test Tik Tok by creating an account and using the app yourself for awhile. It’s mind-blowing how creative users can be. It’s also helpful to search YouTube for Tik Tok compilations (e.g., “Tik Tok procreate compilations”).
  • Preset your chid’s account for best content by scrolling the home page liking appropriate videos & selecting “not interested” for inappropriate videos. Although it won’t keep them safe from viewing inappropriate content, it does preset the autoplay to a more positive autoplay pattern.
  • It’s also helpful to block influencers who commonly produce inappropriate content, while also “hearting” topics and influencers that match your child’s interests (e.g., singing, dancing, drawing, procreate, etc.).
  • Make sure you already have a digital contract in place (like our free GKIS Connected Family Agreement). Add it to your agreement as an “OK” or a “not yet,” so parameters, rules and regs, and etiquette issues are understood. (If you haven’t downloaded it yet, enter your name and email on our GetKidsInternetSafe home page and it will be emailed immediately.)
  • Agree that use is probational and visit Tik Tok’s Safety Center and watch their “You’re in Control” videos together (recognizing that once the content is posted, you no longer are in control).
  • Require your child to create a persuasive PowerPointthat covers risks, benefits, and privacy and protection features so you both know the in’s and out’s of Tik Tok’s features before you agree to it. For more information about how to create and judge a persuasive PowerPoint about a social media app along with other useful screen safety strategies, check out our Connected Family Online Course. The course was created to optimize healthy screen use while protecting kids and teens from digital injury. The best part about the course is it brings parents and kids closer with more cooperative negotiation around family screen rules. Once you agree on a trial, create a digital poster with a bullet list of the rules you agreed upon and tape it up in your home’s homework or computer space.
  • Limit use with Tik Tok’s Screentime Management feature.
  • Insist on a PRIVATE account so strangers can’t view your child’s posted videos, Select RESTRICTED MODE. Use FRIENDS ONLY for comments and videos.
  • Consider DISABLING messaging and duets at first.
  • Agree to how many personally-known friends are allowed at first to limit exposure while your child is gaining expertise and judgment. Remember, they WILL post, view, and message inappropriately no matter how great you parent. If that’s unacceptable to you, DON’T ALLOW TIK TOK. 
  • Insist that you are friended and you have their username and password for backend control.
  • Set a #TechCheckThursday meeting to check friends, videos, messaging, and to ensure rules are being followed and everybody is safe. This will also keep the cooperative dialogue going.
  • Make a Tik Tok video together. Have fun with it!

GetKidsInternetSafe rates Tik Tok as a red-light app due to the easy access to strangers, inappropriate content, bad judgment while posting or live streaming, and potentially harmful comments. Because the app has millions of users, it is difficult for Tik Tok moderators to weed out all of the unacceptable content. But there is also a legitimate argument for creative and fun sharing with a private profile. If you do opt to allow Tik Tok, be sure and get your child’s username and password and monitor posts. Share our GKIS Parent Tips on your social media for friends and family. HERE’S THE LINK TO THE IMAGE

Thank you to CSUCI intern Makenzie Stancliff for co-authoring this article. For more help with social media. judgment and overall psychological health, you won’t want to miss our GKIS Social Media Readiness Training Course for tweens and teens.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Hookup Apps: The GKIS Sensible Parent’s Guide to Tinder

Dr. Bennett recently told me a story about her friend Abby’s first experience using the dating app Tinder. Her first date sounded perfect for a middle-aged woman new to the dating scene. Like her friends told her, she met her “match” for a quick drink. She knew better than to get into his car or reveal where she lived. They had a few drinks and then walked to a nearby restaurant for dinner. He was a gentleman, handsome and professional. She couldn’t wait to get home to tell her friends about him.

When she called my professor that night, Abby was beside herself excited about this guy. Dr. Bennett, quietly wondering if it was too good to be true, suggested that she Google him. A person’s digital footprint can reveal a lot. So, Abby Googled. You will never believe what she found out…

It turns out that the man of her dreams was everything he said he was. He was recently overseas as a military officer and had gotten out of a serious relationship several years before. But she also found out that the relationship ended with stalking, an attempted kidnapping, and years in federal prison. Her night went from fantasy to nightmare in a few keystrokes.

Today’s GKIS article reveals what every parent needs to know about the famous hook-up app recently turned dating app, Tinder.

With the rise of screen technology in full effect, the dating game has changed forever. Instead of going out to meet people, many teens and adults rely on dating apps to potentially meet their future soul mates. Or are they just looking for a casual hook up? This new hook up culture revolves heavily around the dating app, Tinder.

What is Tinder?

Tinder is a free dating app that you can use either on your mobile device or home computer. After signing up, you can connect with Facebook to merge your mutual friends, interests, and pictures with the Tinder app. There is a new feature to simply log in with a phone number. Tinder uses your location to match with other user’s close in proximity. If interested in one’s profile, users have the option to either “swipe right” which is a “go” or “swipe left” which indicates a “no.” In other words, play or pass. Once users are matched, meaning they both swiped right on each other’s profile, they can begin a conversation – whether it’s gifs (animated or static images) or messages.

What are Tinder’s popular features?

  • When linking Facebook to Tinder, you have access to a network of friends whom can potentially share similar interests.
  • The app works off of your geographic location, giving you an option to find matches within a specific radius. The user can match with people as close to 1 mile away and as far as 100 miles away. There is a setting where you can choose the maximum distance you prefer to swipe from.
  • Users can edit their profile and select certain photos, create a personal bio, and insert personal demographic information they would like to share.
  • In order to search for matches, users swipe through profiles until they are matched with another user. Once matched, users have the option to message or keep swiping through other profiles.
  • Users can exchange messages, reactions, and gif’s which disappear after 24 hours. Users also have the ability to like a message sent from another user. Sending a reaction to one of your matches is a new feature on snapchat. Reactions look like a bigger emoji that moves and takes up most of the screen. The reactions include sending a shooting heart, a constant laughing face, clapping hands, a jumping cocktail drink, and an eye roll. (They do add new reactions randomly).

What is included in the personal profile?

  • The first thing that appears on one’s personal profile is your photo. It also gives an option to swipe through the other photos posted on the account.
  • Underneath the photo, it shows the user’s name and age. Depending on the user’s privacy preferences, it may also show one’s gender, interests, photos from Instagram, education and job details, a chosen anthem from Spotify, and one’s distance from your location.

What are the privacy options?

  • Although Tinder is connected to Facebook, Tinder does not have authorization to post anything to one’s Facebook page.
  • The information entered to sign up for Tinder can be hidden from other users. This includes e-mail address, home address, phone number, and birthday.
  • When managing privacy options, users can opt to upgrade to Tinder Plus in order to hide their age and location to others.

How long has it been around and how popular is it?

Tinder was launched in 2012 by developer Sean Rad, Jonathan Badeen Justin Mateen, Joe Munoz, Whitney Wolfe and Chris Gylczynski. The app has been growing in numbers ever since. “Research shows there are 50 million active users who check their Tinder accounts up to 11 times per day (Claire, 2017).”

What are the risks for use?

Cyberbully potential:

  • Other Tinder users can send threatening/cruel messages or offensive pictures
  • Fake accounts and impersonation.
  • Users can become desperate for likes and matches, potentially affecting self-perception and self-esteem.

Making poor decisions:

  • There is a temptation to participate in casual hookups that can potentially lead to a unsafe sex and victimization.
  • Since location plays a huge role in this app, it is easy for online predators to target Tinder users.

What are the protection features?

  • If a user is sending inappropriate messages or images, there is an option to un-match with them and this disallows them to contact you.
  • You have the option to upgrade to Tinder Plus, which allows you to hide location and age.
  • There is also an option to turn-off the option to show your profile on Tinder.

Thank you to CSUCI student Nicole Hunnicutt for co-authoring this article. One thing no parent wants to think about is how predators use social media to target victims for sex trafficking. Most of us think this is the kind of thing that only happens to vulnerable youth in poor countries. Unfortunately, children and teens are victimized in most American towns with families in every income level. All it takes is a cunning predator and a kid with a screen. To take safety measures today to Get(your)KidsInternetSafe, check out this article on how sex traffickers use social media to recruit victims.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

Claire, M. (2017, February 21). Tinder: The Online Dating App Everyone’s Talking About. Retrieved March 02, 2017, from http://www.marieclaire.co.uk/life/sex-and-relationships/tinder-the-online-dating-app-that-everyone-s-talking-about-112522

What is Tinder? Parent App Guide (Video) – SafeSmartSocial. (2017, February 15). Retrieved February 22, 2017, from https://safesmartsocial.com/what-is-tinder-parent-guide/?utm_source=Safe%2BSmart%2BSocial%2BMailing%2BList&utm_campaign=57ce4c7f10-S3_Newsletter_3_Stars_2_23_17&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_40b34a3ccb-57ce4c7f10-195659757

Vedantam, S., Klahr, R., Penman, M., Boyle, T., Schmidt, J., Connelly, C., & Cohen, R. (2017, February 14). Hookup Culture: The Unspoken Rules Of Sex On College Campuses. Retrieved February 26, 2017, from http://www.npr.org/2017/02/14/514578429/hookup-culture-the-unspoken-rules-of-sex-on-college-campuses

GKIS Prevents Digital Injuries Like This: Brandon’s Story

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In twenty years of clinical practice and parenting my own children, I’ve seen more and more families in crisis due to Internet safety issues. Parenting in the Digital Age can be so overwhelming! I created GetKidsInternetSafe.com to give parents sensible Internet safety parenting tips that work.

Searched “Dragon”

“Brandon” is a ten-year-old, gifted student. He loves fantasy books and has a few good friends at school. Team sports are not “his thing,” but he is in Tae Kwon Do in the winter and swim team in the summer with his parents’ insistence. Although brilliant, his grades usually slip mid-semester until his parents get after him to better track his homework and limit screen time. Recently, between his usual video games and YouTube surfing, Brandon decided to Google “DRAGON” for sketch ideas. This led him to a sadomasochistic chat room that he compulsively visited for the next two weeks until his parents discovered it. During that time, he made several “friends” with creepy adults who solicited sexual text exchanges and nude photos.

When his parents discovered what was happening they called the police, who then contacted the FBI. By the time they called me for help, they were hoping Brandon wouldn’t be charged with child pornography charges. More importantly, they worried this experience might change his thoughts and feelings about trust and sexuality forever. Brandon’s Internet compulsions left him titillated, ashamed, and confused.

Despite weeks of psychotherapy and increased supervision, Brandon is still distressed and can’t concentrate on his regular activities. He struggles with intrusive images and thoughts about violent sex, feels like he is forever different from his peers, and is worried about how this experience may affect his ability to have “normal” relationships. His symptoms are similar to what I see with children who’ve been molested.

Brandon’s parents, who are excellent parents honestly, are burdened with feeling alone, frightened, and saddened by the loss of their child’s normal pre-adolescent development. Tragedies like these are not often shared outside the walls of therapy, which is why I am sharing it. Brandon’s situation ended better than many other clients I see. In twenty years of clinical practice, I’ve never seen a more epidemic and distressing danger to child psychological health as unfiltered access to the Internet.*

Cognitive Dissonance

The psychological concept, cognitive dissonance, refers to a state of discomfort when one holds beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors that conflict with one another. When we feel this discomfort, we are driven to act in order to return to a state of cognitive consistency or harmony.

Out of my own cognitive dissonance about parenting and technology came GetKidsInternetSafe.com. Simply stated, parenting in the digital age is a difficult and confusing task. It’s time we get busy creating effective solutions rather than reacting AFTER our kids stumble into trouble; trouble that may stick with them forever. Although there are a lot of parents already doing a great job, it’s simply not enough. We need more effective education, intervention, and support on a massive scale. As a mother of three with a large age span in between them, I’m very aware of the dramatic changes in technology just in the last ten years. And just as I had to overhaul my parenting skills and house rules in regard to digital media, you likely do too.

Technology is an excellent tool, and our kids need to be proficient with it to thrive. And proficient they are, resulting in a digital generational divide and shift in power within the home never seen before in history, with our children’s impulsive frontal lobes at the wheel and parents running haphazardly behind trying to put out fires.

What are your fears about online play? How can I help?

Please comment on your concerns below. What are your top three fears? What’s worked for you? What hasn’t worked?

GetKidsInternetSafe.com is designed to help parents get control in an easy, educated, reasonable, effective way, BEFORE the fires are lit. Over the next several weeks, you will receive factual information about screen media and the Internet that will help you make better decisions about child technology use. In addition, I will provide you with tried-and-true parenting techniques to build more positive and cooperative relationships with your kids; no shaming lectures, no expensive and complex systems, just common sense ideas that work. Not only will you be better able to protect your children from inappropriate content, but they will be better prepared and more resilient for the content that leaks past the protective barriers.

I’m Dr. Tracy Bennett, the mom psychologist who will help you get smart about Internet safety. Tell your friends!

Onward to more awesome parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

*details and names are changed to preserve client confidentiality.

I love Ken Robinson’s take on creatively thinking outside of the box to help kids. Watch his TED talk.