internet addiction

Pornography Blocking Sites and a Firsthand Account of Pornography Addiction

December 4, 2023 by Samantha Sanchez

It’s no secret that porn has taken over the virtual world. But many aren’t aware that their tweens and teens are at risk for porn addiction. Today we’re looking at a candid first-hand account of someone whose porn addiction started at the age of 12. We’re also taking a glimpse at porn-blocking sites and our tips for recovery. If you’d like to find out what it takes to protect your kid from the dangers of the net and learn info on parental controls and monitoring, check out our GKIS Screen Safety Toolkit.

The Dangers of Porn

As mentioned in our article Online Pornography’s Impact on Kids and Teens, pornography consumption has grown. With adult sites like Pornhub growing more popular, our youth are at risk of developing a porn addiction more than ever.

According to Dr. Bennett, the demographic most at risk for porn addiction is adolescents with troubled familial relations.[1] For years, the common stereotype was that mainly boys were at risk for porn addiction. But times have changed. Girls are just as present on the internet, meaning all our youth are at risk for developing a porn addiction.

In the Online Pornography’s Impact on Kids and Teens article, Dr. B goes over the effects of regular pornography consumption, which could include the following:

Earlier sexual intercourse
Normalization of violence against women
Sexual aggression
Desensitization and habituation (this means the user may get used to less extreme content and will have to view more extreme content to get the same feeling of satisfaction.)
Hypersexual Disorder, is a disorder that causes one to engage in or think about sex to the point that it affects their life.[2]

For a deeper dive into porn addiction and how it can affect your child, check out Dr. B’s book, Screen Time in the Meantime: A Parenting Guide to Getting Kids Internet Safe.

A Firsthand Account of Pornography Addiction

Chase is a former pornography addict. He opened up and gave us insight into what it’s like being addicted and how it affected his mental health.

“When I was addicted to pornography, I think I was about 12 or 13 years old. It lasted until I turned 23 and it was a daily occurrence. I was consuming porn in different forms around 3 to 4 times a day,” he said.

Chase claimed that he got used to consuming porn quickly and talked about how it became a demanding habit. “It felt very infectious to my lifestyle. I’d pick up the phone and have to indulge in porn. Done doing a specific activity? Browsing [porn] again. It felt like if I didn’t get as much satisfaction from a ‘session,’ the next session had to fit a specific theme or fetish.”

Chase discussed how his porn addiction started creeping into other places in his life, saying “It got so bad to the point where it infected other things that aren’t even related to it in the first place. Looking up specific people, fetishes, and at its worst, trying to find easier avenues or different ways to access content. It was bad.”

He got even more candid with us, explaining how the addiction became mentally and physically invasive. “I think it affected my mental state very much. I don’t have too much experience in mental challenges when it comes to myself anyway, but it impacted my ability to follow daily habits and schedules, and at its worst, caused me to cancel plans.”

When asked about his advice for addiction prevention advice for those suffering from porn addiction, he replied “It’d be to not create any accounts for anything porn related. Limit yourself slowly over time, and don’t let yourself lose sight of what the future version you have of yourself would do, and slowly become that. You aren’t alone and reach out for help if you need it.”

Shame and How It Prevents Recovery

Because of the taboo nature of pornography, many people battling porn addictions experience feelings of shame and guilt. It’s why most people keep their addiction hidden for so long before seeking help. Some experience shame so much that they never seek help.

We see shame as a huge problem. In a study titled “Hidden in shame: Heterosexual men’s experiences of self-perceived problematic pornography use,”15 men were interviewed about their experience with porn. Nearly all of them stated that they grew up never talking or learning about sex education with their parents. They also stated that viewing pornography is taboo and it was difficult for them to seek help due to fear of rejection.[3]

One participant even sought help through a doctor when they were experiencing a reduced libido that stemmed from porn addiction. The doctor not only had nothing to offer him, but he immediately referred him to a male fertility specialist for testosterone treatments that cost him hundreds of dollars.[4]

Porn Site Blockers

Of course, it’s best to not even visit porn sites in the first place. But if you worry you have a problem, here are some porn-blocking tools that may help.

Disclaimer: GKIS is not sponsored or partnered with any of the porn-blocking sites listed.

Canopy

Canopy is an app that blocks porn sites, blocks apps, schedules screen time and downtime, and sexting prevention through image and text detection.[5] Parents or spouses set up their host account on their device followed by the kid/main user account on the kid/user’s device. The parent or spouse oversees the control settings and monitors the other device.

FamiSafe

FamiSafe is another app that blocks porn websites on any device. Like Canopy, parents have access to controls and internet usage. Parents can track social media usage, set screen time limits, track location, monitor keywords searched or sent via text, and more. Parents are notified when their kids are texting about inappropriate topics or when they’re at a location they shouldn’t be.[6]

CovenantEyes and the Victory App

CovenantEyes is a porn detector and blocker. It’s paired with its companion tool, the Victory app, to scan for suspicious activity, send reminders and check-ins, and issue mini-courses to see your progress.[7] CovenantEyes also offers Christian resources for followers struggling with porn addiction.

GKIS Tips for the Road to Recovery

Porn-blocking sites are useful but not foolproof. So, GKIS has tips for parents of children suffering from porn addiction.

It is healthy and appropriate for children to be curious about the human body and sexuality. For tips about how to offer shame-free sex education, check out our 4-article series starting with 6 Parenting Tips for Making Sex Ed Easier!
In addition to using home-setup strategies detailed in our Connected Family Course and parental monitoring tools listed in our Screen Safety Toolkit, consistently spot-check your child’s screen device. Talking to your child about spot-checking may steer them away from adult content since they know their device may be checked anytime.
Let them know this is the family policy before you buy them screen devices. That way they won’t feel lied to, betrayed, or spied upon if you do find questionable content. And if you do find something, allow that to be a teaching opportunity rather than a punishing opportunity. Your best safety tool is a healthy, collaborative parent-child relationship.
Limiting time on specific apps may be a useful tool for recovery. Apps like Instagram, Twitter, and Reddit are some of the most popular apps for adult film stars to promote their content. (Most smartphones report the time used on each app in ‘Settings.’)
A reward system for good progress may be of good use for porn addiction recovery. Although it may seem like an old-fashioned method, rewarding good behavior has been researched and proven to be effective. Whether it’s a new book, dinner at their favorite restaurant, or a trip to the movies, rewards (with verbal affirmations) can give your child the motivation to stay on the path to recovery.
If you are considering allowing social media apps for your tween or teen, our Social Media Readiness Course offers information about the risks of digital injury and helpful psychological wellness tools as well!

Battling pornography addiction is hard for anyone, let alone our youth. Whether you have a teen or tween battling addiction or simply want to help them surf the internet safely, GKIS has multiple resources to help you get there. Whether you’re utilizing our Screen Safety Toolkit or simply giving our sex ed articles a read, GKIS is here to make it a smoother journey for you.

A special thanks to Chase for sharing his story.

Thanks to CSUCI intern Samantha Sanchez for preparing this article and researching porn addiction.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
Onward to More Awesome Parenting

Dr. Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.

Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty

GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] Online Pornography’s Impact on Kids and Teens (https://getkidsinternetsafe.com/porn/)

[2] Screentime in the Meantime: A Parenting Guide to Get Kids and Teens Internet Safe (https://getkidsinternetsafe.com/parenting-guide/)

[3] Sniewski, L., & Farvid, P. (2020). Hidden in shame: Heterosexual men’s experiences of self-perceived problematic pornography use. Psychology of Men & Masculinities, 21(2), 201–212. https://doi-org.ezproxy.csuci.edu/10.1037/men0000232

[4] Ibid.

[5] Canopy (https://canopy.us/2023/02/16/best-porn-blocker/)

[6] FamiSafe (https://canopy.us/2023/02/16/best-porn-blocker/)

[7] CovenantEyes (https://www.covenanteyes.com/how-it-works/)

Photo Credits

Charlesdeluvio via Unsplash (https://unsplash.com/photos/hand-mannequin-holding-green-cactus-plant-RoB4hHjW_fc)

Franco Alva via Unsplash (https://unsplash.com/photos/man-in-black-t-shirt-using-black-laptop-computer-aqFzxyC3rf8)

Annie Spratt via Unsplash (https://unsplash.com/photos/man-in-black-t-shirt-lying-on-couch-rmKkZqnVtk4)

How Can Mindfulness Practice Help Reduce Smartphone Addiction?

May 11, 2023 by Brandon Bishop

In our GKIS blog articles, we’ve talked before about how social media and smartphone use can be addicting for kids, and how phone addiction can have negative impacts on kids’ and teens’ mental health and social skills. But what GetKidsInternetSafe is passionate about is prevention. That is why Dr. Bennett created the Social Media Readiness Course for tweens and teens. In this best-selling course, she incorporated education about the red flags of risk for digital injury as well as the psychological wellness practices she’s developed in her psychology practice over 30 years. Many of these practices involve mindfulness, a mental health practice that has demonstrated great outcomes. In today’s GKIS article, we will discuss what mindfulness is exactly and whether it is something your family can use to help prevent the damage caused by smartphone addiction.

Defining Smartphone Addiction

As smartphones have become more popular, it can be difficult to determine whether one is using their phone “too much” or if they are addicted. Studies are finding that we are dependent on our phones and many people are developing separation anxiety from them.[1][2] Psychologists have been looking for ways to prevent smartphone addiction. One of the more promising findings has been mindfulness practice.

What is mindfulness?

Mindfulness is a type of mental practice that’s been gaining popularity. It has its roots in Buddhist philosophy, but it’s a non-religious form of meditation and mental awareness of the current moment.[3]

Mindfulness can be improved with exercises that focus on breathing and focusing on your thoughts, feelings, and body sensations.[4] The goal is to bring your attention to what’s happening in the present moment, instead of stressful thoughts about the past or future.[3]

Health benefits include improving cognitive ability and reducing stress, anxiety, and depression.[3]

How can mindfulness help with smartphone addiction?

A 2019 study found that mindfulness can lessen the impact of separation anxiety related to having a smartphone addiction. Students in the study who scored higher on a mindfulness rating were less likely to have depression and anxiety symptoms.[5]

It was also found in a 2017 study that low ratings of mindfulness were predictive of young adults having internet and screen addictions.[6]

Another study found that mindfulness was also able to lessen the impact of bullying and cyberbullying on student depression.[7] This suggests that mindfulness can help with the symptoms of common digital injuries, not just the internet and phone addiction itself.

What can I do if someone in my family has a phone addiction?

There are many easy mindfulness exercises available online. Most only take between five to ten minutes. A quick Google or YouTube search for “mindfulness exercises” can help you find one that works for you.
It’s also important to help make sure that your family doesn’t become addicted to their smartphones in the first place. Our GKIS Screen Safety Essentials Course is a set of four modules that will help walk your kids through the most important things they can do to keep themselves safe online.
For a more direct approach to your kids’ internet safety, The GKIS Screen Safety Toolkit will provide you with apps and guides on how to implement parental controls and keep an eye on what your kids are doing online, in a way that you and your family can both be happy with.

Thanks to CSUCI intern Brandon Bishop for doing research on smartphone addiction and mindfulness and authoring this article.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] Understanding Nomophobia: Structural Equation Modeling and Semantic Network Analysis of Smartphone Separation Anxiety by Seunghee Han, Ki Joon Kim, and Jang Hyun Kim

[2] Possession attachment predicts cell phone use while driving. by Joshua A. Weller, Crystal Shackleford, Nathan Dieckmann, and Paul Slovic

[3] What is Mindfulness from Greater Good Magazine

[4] What is Mindfulness? A Simple Practice for Greater Wellbeing by Crystal Hoshaw

[5] Smartphone Addiction and Adolescents’ Anxiety and Depression: The Moderating Role of Mindfulness by Xiu-Juan Yang, Zongkui Zhou, Qingqi Liu, and Cui-Ying Fan

[6] Psychological maltreatment, forgiveness, mindfulness, and internet addiction among young adults: A study of mediation effect by Gökmen Arslan

[7] Bullying victimization and depression in Chinese children: A moderated meditation model of resilience and mindfulness by Zong-Kui Zhou, Qing-Qi Liu, Geng-Feng Niu, Xiao-Jun Sun, and Cui-Ying Fan

Photo Credits

Photo by Mikael Blomkvist from Pexels: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-in-red-shirt-sitting-on-couch-meditating-4151865/

Photo by Erik Mclean from Pexels: https://www.pexels.com/photo/faceless-man-with-bushy-beard-surfing-internet-4101966/

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels: https://www.pexels.com/photo/thoughtful-woman-writing-in-notebook-at-home-3769013/

Are Your Kids Suffering from Sensory Overload?

November 12, 2022 by sarahhernandez

Has your child ever had an epic freakout because you demanded that they turn off their screen? Or completely went unhinged when you wouldn’t buy them a video game they wanted or allowed social media before you thought they were ready? It turns out that there is a neurological reason for that reaction beyond child entitlement and fragility. Too much screen time can result in overstimulation that results in short- and long-term effects in kids. To help manage your child’s screen time and avoid overstimulation, check out our Screen Safety Essentials Course. This course will help your family achieve screen sanity with our weekly parenting and family coaching videos featuring research-based tools from Dr. Tracy Bennett. In this article, we discuss sensory overload, how it may be affecting your children, and how to avoid it.

Our Digital Babysitter

Raising kids is hard! And some kids are more difficult to entertain than others. Screen time can be a win-win – kids are happy, and parents can get things done. Dr. Bennett, Founder of GetKidsInternetSafe, says screen time can be a great thing, but it can also be a source for a host of digital injury. In her book Screen Time in the Mean Time, she describes screen injuries in the areas of health, interpersonal exploitation, and financial exploitation.[4]

She says that, although screen time matters, content matters too. Educational content with a calm, predictable, and sequential pace is easier for children to process than frenetic, fast-paced content. If your child melts down when you tell them to turn off screen time, you may need to be more aware of the content they are watching so they don’t suffer from sensory overload.

What is sensory overload?

Sensory overload refers to overstimulation that occurs when sensations from the environment, like playing video games or watching fast-paced videos and television programming, can become overwhelming.[2] For young children with maturing brains and difficulty with emotional modulation, sensory overload from unmanaged screen time can result in irritability, temper outbursts, hyperactivity, and aggression. Children with disabilities, like autistic spectrum disorder or attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, are particularly vulnerable to sensory overload.[4]

What does frenetic, fast-paced content look like?

In 2006, YouTube launched the child educational program CoComelon. By September 2022, CoComelon had 144 million subscribers and over 139.24 billion views.[5] The demand and popularity of the CoComelon led to the creation of the TV show in 2021, which also became a hit sensation. CoComelon consistently ranks in the top ten most popular shows on Netflix.

CoComelon is known for its fast pace and bright animation. These aspects of the program are hypothesized to stimulate the release of the feel-good chemical, dopamine, in kids’ brains.[1] Dopamine also plays a key role in addiction. This rush of dopamine that kids experience while watching the show is what makes them want to watch it repeatedly.[3] Some exposure is likely harmless. However, some kids may have a vulnerability to such fast-paced content. Too much watching can lead to problems.

Passive television while doing homework can result in sensory overload.

Frenetic screen content isn’t the only thing that can lead to problems with sensory overload. In her book, Screen Time in the Mean Time, Dr. Bennett writes that passive television can also strain child cognitive resources.

Passive television refers to the television playing in the background while we’re eating dinner, doing homework, or just for pleasure. Having the television on in the background while your kids do homework creates a battleground for your child’s attention. This can negatively affect their quality of learning and academic performance.

Dr. Tracy Bennett writes:

Watching TV and doing homework are both demanding tasks that compete for visual and verbal cognitive processing. As a result, the toggling required to attend to both tasks will impair learning and homework quality. Research studies have demonstrated that watching television, or even just having it on i n the background, impairs reading performance, recall and recognition, and even your memory of what you’ve watched on TV.[4]

Entertainment and big tech have commodified your child’s attention.

Because entertainment corporations recognize that their profit depends on our screen time, they’ve created manipulative technology to capture our attention. With features like autoplay, companies like Netflix, YouTube, and TikTok know how to keep us binge-watching. The autoplay feature automatically dishes up new content without user input to promote addictive watching habits. With features like autoplay, can you be confident that Netflix is prioritizing your child’s learning and mental health over its profit?

Signs That Your Child May be Suffering from Sensory Overload

Chronic moodiness and irritability
Fatigue and low energy
Difficulty making decisions
Temper outbursts, especially after a long screen time binge
Aggression
Headaches, including ocular headaches and migraines
Difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep
Nightmares[6]

How can you help your child avoid sensory overload?

Prioritize face-to-face family time and screen safety conversations with help from our Connected Family Screen Agreement and our GKIS Blog.
Take initiative and manage what your children are able to access with help from our Screen Safety Toolkit.
Set up sensible household rules (like screen-free zones) and amazing learning centers with help from our Connected Family Course.
Help your children learn how to recognize the red flags of digital injury and practice psychological wellness tools before they adopt social media with our Social Media Readiness Course.
Opt for the works with our megacourse the Screen Safety Essentials Course. This low-cost option offers all GKIS Courses and Agreements in one easy place. Parents-only videos and family videos from Dr. B offer 26 easy lessons that you can sprinkle in once a week to make sure you cover everything!
Share Dr. B’s important teachings by telling your school, church, or temple about her custom webinars!
If you need extra support, check out our GKIS Workshops and Dr. B’s Coaching options!

Thanks to CSUCI intern, Sarah Hernandez for researching and writing about sensory overload from screen time.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] The Kangaroo Forest. (2022). Is CoComelon overstimulating. Woodlands Online. https://www.woodlandsonline.com/blps/article.cfm?page=10208

[2] Gordon, S. (2021). How to cope with your child’s sensory overload. Very Well Family. https://www.verywellfamily.com/overstimulation-in-children-4585143

[3] Maguire, C. (2017). 6 negative effects for children playing video games. Washington Parent. https://washingtonparent.com/6-negative-effects-for-children-playing-video-games/

[4] Bennett, T. (2019). Screen time in the meantime: A parenting guide to get kids and teens internet safe. GetKidsInternetSafe Books. https://getkidsinternetsafe.com/parenting-guide/

[5] CoComelon. (2022). YouTube. https://youtube.com/channel/UCbCmjCuTUZos6lnko4u57UQ

[6] Eatough, E. (2021). What is sensory overload? Know how to deal with overstimulation. BetterUp. https://www.betterup.com/blog/sensory-overload

Photo Credits

Photo by Vidal Balielo Jr.: https://www.pexels.com/photo/boy-standing-in-front-of-flat-screen-tv-1682519/

Photo by ANTONI SHKRABA: https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-boy-leaning-his-head-on-the-table-5306486/

Photo by August de Richelieu: https://www.pexels.com/photo/little-girl-doing-her-homework-4260486/

Can Your Child Access the Dark Web?

December 1, 2020 by Andy Thunstrom

We know there are dangerous sites on the internet. But most of us have never accessed the dark web, where visitors are anonymous and access to the unthinkable is possible. Recently I visited and discovered that kids and teens easily access it to purchase illegal goods such as fake ids and drugs. Find out what is on the dark web, how easy it is for kids to access it, and what you can do to prevent it in today’s GKIS article. Caution: this article contains graphic descriptions of illegal activities, sex, and violence.

What is the dark web?

The dark web is the part of the internet that is not visible to regular search engines (like Google or Chrome) and requires the use of a special browser named Tor. Once Tor is downloaded and opened, you have arrived at what many call “Onionland.” Tor uses the onion router hidden service protocol, meaning that the Tor servers derived from the onion router offer users complete anonymity. Also, every website ends with .onion instead of .com, .org, or .gov.

The dark web is a criminal underworld where bad actors online sell and purchase illegal goods like drugs, weapons, counterfeit money, bank accounts, passports and ID’s, and much more. Dark web online shops are set up with customer reviews very much like Amazon which gives users the confidence to purchase from specific vendors. There is even a darker side to the dark web which consists of images and videos of gore, pornography, child sexual abuse, bestiality, and even live murder shows called red rooms where paying customers can tell the person torturing the victim what to inflict on the victim next or how they would like to see the victim killed.

Clear Web Versus Deep Web

The clear web is the part of the internet that can be accessed from any browser. It’s the smallest part of the web, which is astonishing because it seems that the content there is infinite but in actuality, it only accounts for about 4% of the content on the web. Some browsers, like Google, will censor certain websites. The search engine used by Tor, Duck Duck Go, does not censor and will not save your search history.

Then there is the deep web which is not to be confused with the dark web. The deep web is the largest part of the web. It consists of all the content that is not indexed and will not appear on regular search engines. Many government and private company websites exist there, where you would need an exact address to access them. Accessing without permission is illegal.

Is it easy to access the Dark Web?

It is very easy to access the dark web. I’ve included the steps here so you can recognize them if you ever come across these searches on your child’s browser.

To access the dark web, all you have to do is:

Purchase a VPN for extra security and anonymity (optional)
Download Tor
Access Hidden Wiki Links
Use the links on Hidden Wiki to help guide you through the dark web
Create an anonymous email
Purchase bitcoin (which is an online currency)
Find an online store through the hidden wiki that carries the products or services you are looking for

Using the hidden wiki as a guide, you can follow the steps above by merely clicking links and it will guide you through. You can easily find the hidden wiki by typing “hidden wiki” on the search bar in the Tor app.

Dark Web Dangers

Fake IDs and Drugs

So, as a GKIS intern, how do I know that teens are accessing the dark web? I became interested when high school students that I worked with all had fake IDs and were getting into L.A. clubs. I asked how they got them, and they told me from the dark web using bitcoin. They also disclosed that they illegally purchase study drugs like Adderall and Modafinil as well as club drugs like cocaine and molly. I was shocked yet intrigued, so I followed these directions on how to get onto the dark web. I couldn’t believe how easy it was to access.

When I brought up my idea about writing about the dark web at our intern meeting, Dr. B worried we’d be publishing a how-to article. But I argued, and the other interns agreed, that there are plenty of YouTube videos showing the step-by-step process of accessing the dark web. Parents need to know about this!

It is mind-boggling how dangerous access to the dark web can be. As if purchasing illegal drugs from anonymous criminal vendors isn’t enough, consider that purity is not guaranteed. Drugs like cocaine and heroin have been known to be laced with fentanyl, an extremely powerful opiate that kills even the most severe addicts. And consider the risks teens take in 21-and-older clubs. Interaction with adults on the dark web can lead to any type of exploitive situation online and offline.

Violence and Pornography

Consider what watching violence and pornographic material can do to a child’s developing brain. For some kids, watching explicit material can lead to stress symptoms characteristic of clinical disorders such as acute stress disorder and PTSD. For others, they may become desensitized to shocking online content which may lead to craving and seeking increasingly dangerous content to experience that same rush. This type of explicit material can have a similar effect as addictive drugs due to the release of dopamine and endorphins.

Dopamine helps the brain recognize incentive salience. Incentive salience is the desiring attribute that includes a motivational component to a rewarding stimulus. In other words, dopamine is released when a reward is anticipated, and it motivates us to keep seeking that anticipated reward.

When shocking material is viewed, the opiate system in our brains begins to activate by releasing endorphins. Endorphins gives a sense of euphoria and eases pain, which is what heroin does. So, more and more shocking material may be craved due to dopamine released from the anticipation of viewing the shocking stimulus – and endorphins help ease the pain that the shocking stimulus caused. Endorphins are also what causes the “runners high” that people talk about after a good amount of cardiovascular exercise. So when we experience pain, endorphins are released to help ease the pain.

Hate Groups

An extremist group discussed in the media recently, the “Proud Boys,” is a group that is known for supporting President Trump and for their extremist chauvinist beliefs. If you search for their website on Google, you will likely not be able to find it. But if you use the search engine Duck Duck Go, it shows up right at the top.

Hate groups design their content to radicalize vulnerable adults and youth to their agenda. There have been many incidences where radical Islamic groups have radicalized western youth to fight for their cause. They do this on the clear web too. But when they need to be more discreet, they can use the deep web by creating a .onion site.

Facebook and other social media sites are on the deep web and their web address is www.facebookcorewwwi.onion. It is important to talk about these issues and set rules with your kids. because if they do not learn it from you they will learn from someone else who may not have the best intentions.

Without parent management tools, like those we recommend in our GKIS Screen Safety Toolkit, kids can spend hours over months interacting with extremists. These interactions can be moved offline and can result in child and teen trafficking as well as other crimes.

How You Can Keep Your Kids Safe From the Dark Web

If your kids have open access to the internet, GetKidsInternetSafe has an entire toolkit to get safety dialed in. Check out our GKIS Course Bundle in the plus and deluxe package options, which offers all of our GKIS courses plus bonuses for families with kids of all ages. Our course bundle option offers parent and teen education, communication tools, parenting tools, and tech tool recommendations. Our course summary page with the details can be found HERE.

Thanks to Andres Thunstrom for contributing to this GKIS article. Andres has been advised to never visit the dark web again. J

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Photo Credit

Geralt by Pixabay
Screenshot by Andres
Screenshot by Andres
Screenshot by Andres

GKIS Recommends Some Favorite Mental Health Apps

May 18, 2020 by Makenzie Stancliff

Surveys reveal that depression and anxiety have increased for adults, teens, and kids. It’s unclear what is causing these increases, but longer workdays and overtasked lives may be strong contributors. Increased screen time on video games, social media, video and movie streaming, texts, and emails can be super fun and even improve productivity. But too much screen time can also lead to a mental brownout, a type of anxious fatigue that we may not even recognize until it leads to mental illness. Giving up screens to avoid it simply isn’t possible for most of us. But the good news is we don’t have to! Learn how smartphone health and wellness apps can benefit you without having to give up screen time!

Mental Health

Did you know that anxiety, depression, self-harm, and suicide is up 78% among teens?[1] In fact, by some estimates 1 in 6 children between the ages of 2 and 8 have a mental, behavioral, or developmental disorder. Left untreated, child symptoms may lead to more issues in adulthood.

Among children ages 3 to 17:

4% or 6.1 million have been diagnosed with ADHD
4% or 4.5 million have been diagnosed with a behavior problem
1% or 4.4 million have been diagnosed with anxiety and
2% or 1.9 million have diagnosed with depression.

Boys are more likely than girls to experience a mental, behavioral, or developmental disorder.[2]

Social Media Impacts on Children’s Mental Health

Sleep Deprivation

Social media has various effects on mental health, especially in children. Dr. Bennett writes in her book, Screen Time in the Mean Time, says that she feels sleep deprivation is the most common contributor to mental health problems today. The blue light on devices interrupts the sleep pattern and makes it more difficult to fall asleep. Many people also develop a compulsive impulse to check notifications which can also delay sleep.[3] Teens with sleep deprivation demonstrate lower achievement motivation, more teacher-child relationship problems, a poorer academic self-concept, and poorer school performance.

Self-Comparison

Too often, we see the best sides of our friends on social media. After all, nobody wants to read about the doom and gloom of a breakup or the fight someone just had with their mother-in-law. Positive posting can lead to friends feeling left out and generally bad about how their lives don’t compare. The GKIS article The FOMO EFFECT: How Fun Friend Posts Can Lead to Clinical Anxiety provides more information on self-comparison.

Distraction

Social media poses a major risk of distractibility. We tend to go on an endless cycle of content on one social media app or we cycle between multiple social media apps. This causes us to spend a longer amount of time on social media and forget about what we are supposed to do in the “real world”.

Mental Health Apps

Dr. Bennett recommends mental health apps to her clients all of the time. Free and convenient, they can be a great addition to psychotherapy. Even for people who aren’t in treatment, mental health apps can help us get to where we want to be by offering mood-enhancing toolkits, mood monitoring, and breathing and meditation ideas.

Mental health apps are awesome in that they are convenient, inexpensive, and even free, and available. They can be a comfortable first-step to wellness prior to (or even while) seeking out help from a mental health professional.

CAUTION: Keep in mind possible privacy issues due to the risk of data breaching and the release of private information to third parties. Many psychologists also agree that the apps are not as effective as seeing a mental health professional.[4]

Here are some mental health apps that GKIS is happy to share with you:

Sanvello

Sanvello is an app that aims to help you relieve symptoms of depression or anxiety by providing a complex toolkit of strategies and resources. It allows you to record your mood and health activities in order to track patterns.

There is also a Sanvello peer community that allows users to share stories, encouragement, and personal insights on any topic. The Terms of Service state “You must be over 13 years of age to use the Services, and children under the age of 13 cannot use or register for the Services.”[5]

The toolkit provided by Sanvello includes:

Meditation: Lessons focus on specific topics like relaxing, mindfulness, stressful situations, and calm down.

Health: Helps you track health habits that may be affecting your moods such as exercise, drug use, and water or caffeine consumption.

Hope: This tool provides the user with a space to save photos, quotes, activities, and community content.

Thoughts: Provides a place for journaling, analyzing events that have occurred, or discovering characteristics that have contributed to a feeling.

Goals: Allows users to select a challenge such as reconnecting with a friend or saying hello to a stranger.

Guided Journeys: A series of journeys that encourage a user to accomplish something they have never done before.

Porchlight: Being There

Porchlight is an app that is designed to allow loved ones to easily check in on each other’s mental health. The app prompts you to “check-in” once you enter the app where you can share your emotions using emoji. Users can connect with others which will send daily check-in notifications to the connected users. Porchlight provides prompts to check in with the connected users depending on what emotion they check in as.

Porchlight’s Terms of Service states “you must be 13 or older to register as a user or to use the app. If you are a minor, you must have your parents’ permission to donate through the App.”[6]

Headspace

Headspace is an app that provides guided meditation exercises to help the user become healthier and happier. Headspace claims that it can increase happiness by 16% with just 10 days of use. It is also a popular app with over 60 million active users.

There are 4 main guides to mindfulness within the app:

The Wake Up: Daily short stories and small meditations to help you start your morning on a good start

Move Mode: Exercises to help strengthen mental and physical well-being

Sleep: Sleepcasts, music, and audio experiences to aid a restful night of sleep

Meditation: Teaches everyday mindfulness to help at any time of the day[7]

According to the Terms of Service for Headspace, “You must be 18 years of age, or the age of majority in your province, territory or country, to sign up as a registered user of the Products. Individuals under the age of 18, or the applicable age of majority, may utilize the Products only with the involvement and consent of a parent or legal guardian, under such person’s account and otherwise subject to these Terms.”[8]

Calm

Calm is an app designed to assist users to develop healthy mental fitness, relax, and good sleep habits. The goal of the app is to introduce people to the benefits of mindfulness through meditation.

There are 6 different items of focus in the app:

Meditate: Teaches the skills of meditation

Sleep: Tools to have a restful sleep

Music: To help you relax, focus, or sleep

Body: Demonstrates mindful movement and stretching

Masterclass: Audio programs taught by experts

Scenes: Nature scenes and sounds to help relax and focus[9]

Calm’s Terms of Service state “you may only use the Services only if you are 13 years or older. To make a purchase via the Services, you must be 18 years or older and capable of forming a binding contract.”[10]

Thank you to CSUCI Intern, Makenzie Stancliff for providing insight on mental health apps. For more information about how electronics can impact our health, check out Dr. Bennett’s GKIS article, Is Wi-Fi Dangerous to Our Health?

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.

Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty

GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Photo Credits

Photo by Sydney Sims on Unsplash

Photo by Julia Coimbra on Unsplash

Works Cited

[1](n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.ajmc.com/focus-of-the-week/mental-health-issues-on-the-rise-among-adolescents-young-adults

[2]Data and Statistics on Children’s Mental Health. (2019, April 19). Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/childrensmentalhealth/data.html

[3] How does social media impact the mental health of young people? (2019, October 28). Retrieved from https://www.internetmatters.org/blog/2017/04/12/social-media-impact-mental-health-young-people/

[4]Technology and the Future of Mental Health Treatment. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/technology-and-the-future-of-mental-health-treatment/index.shtml

[5]Home. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.sanvello.com/

[6]Being There. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.porchlightapp.io/

[7] “Meditation and Sleep Made Simple.” Headspace, www.headspace.com/.

[8] “Terms & Conditions.” Headspace, www.headspace.com/terms-and-conditions.

[9] “About.” Calm Blog, www.calm.com/blog/about.

[10] “Terms of Service.” Calm, www.calm.com/en/terms.

The GKIS Sensible Parent’s Guide to Instagram

November 29, 2019 by Isabel Campos

Instagram is the second most popular social media app among teens, with 78% using the social media platform in 2018. Instagram has become a necessary tool to manage relationships and participate in public culture.[1] Teens love to develop their virtual identities, follow friends and popular celebrities, and keep track of popular culture. Relative to other platforms, Instagram is easy to use, encourages creative content with photo filters, and has privacy and protective report features that are easy to access. But there are danger potentials and parenting strategies you should be aware of before you give permission for this social media staple.

What is Instagram?

Instagram is a free mobile social media app that offers photo or video sharing to followers or a select group of friends. Videos range from 3 to 15 seconds. All you need to sign up is an email address and a username (a phone number is optional).

How long has it been around and how popular is it?

Instagram was created by Stanford graduates Kevin Systrom and Mike Krieger and launched in October 2010. Within two months, Instagram gained over a million users. In 2011, Apple named Instagram iPhone app of the year. In April 2012, Instagram was acquired by Facebook for a billion dollars. As of April 2019, Instagram has 500 million daily active users.[2] It is the gateway app for most young social media users.

How old is old enough for adoption?

Instagram Terms of Use state, “You must be at least 13 years old to use the Service.” I recommend sixth grade as the youngest adoption age for Instagram and only under the following conditions:

Require your child to create a persuasive PowerPointthat covers risks, benefits, and privacy and protection features so you both know the ins and outs of Instagram’s features. For more information about how to create and judge a persuasive PowerPoint about a social media app along with other useful screen safety strategies, check out our Connected Family Online Course.
Add it to your free GKIS Connected Family Agreement as an “OK” or a “not yet,” so parameters, rules and regulations, and etiquette issues are understood. (If you haven’t downloaded it yet, enter your name and email on our GetKidsInternetSafe home page and it will be emailed immediately.)
Require the account to be set to private and you agree on the number and nature of followers and frequency of posting.
Ensure you are friended and you have their username and password for backside control.

Instagram Basics

Instagram’s big appeal is its image-based simplicity. Here are its regularly used features:

Stories (like Snapchat) that allow the user to post a collection of photos or videos to their profile. The story lasts 24 hours then disappears.
Your personal photo & video collection profile with captions that others can love, comment, and share.
Photo filters that offer limited editings, like color and hue.
Option to tag and @mention others or your post.
Links to other social media platforms including Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr.
The ability to search and explore public profiles and follow favorites, like celebrity profiles.
Instagram offers suggestions of videos and posts you might like as well as potential FB contacts to follow.

What are Instagram’s popular features?

Direct Messenger allows users to start a conversation with friends.
- Send messages, photos, videos, and posts. You can even video chat with up to 6 friends.
Watch long-form videos where users can create and watch videos that are not limited to one minute.
- Similar to Stories or photos and videos you see in your Feed, you can like, comment, or share IGTV videos with friends.
Shop as You Scroll allows users to find products in your Feed and Stories that you’re curious about.
- Tap the Product Tag to see the price, item name, and even have the ability to buy it directly from Instagram. There is also a save ion that will automatically add the item to your private Shopping Collection.
Search & Explore offers fresh content based on people you follow and posts you like.
- Refresh the Explore page to see a new set of photos and videos, all created based on your interests.
Close Friendsallows for private messaging and posting to occur on Instagram, similar to private stories on Snapchat.
- Start at the main page of Instagram, press the top-right icon of three bars, choose which followers you’d like to add to your list, and press Done.

What is included in the personal profile?

Number of posts, followers, and following
Username (can be a nickname)
Bio (like a website and other social media contact info here like Kik messenger, Skype, Facebook)
Your collection of photos and videos with the date posted, likes, and comments
Tagged photos and videos of you
Photos and videos you save

What are the privacy options?

Profiles are set to public by default. To change this, follow these steps:

- - - - Go to the settings icon, select the Privacy icon, and under Account Privacy turn the Private Account toggle on to require the approval of follow requests. If your profile is private, posts will not appear on the EXPLORE tab and only followers can see your posts.

Teens typically create more than one account for improved privacy options. Instagram allows you to simply toggle between the two. I require my teens to keep even their main profile on “private.” But they also generate a second account, offered referred to as a “Finsta” (a spam Instagram account) where they only friend their closest friends. Be aware that the posts on the finsta accounts are where the most questionable content is posted. Don’t forget to spot-check those from your child’s phone directly. You can’t just assume you’ll see everything they are up to on your feed.

Be aware that if your child posts other contact information on their profile (like Skype or Kik usernames), the public can view that and reach out to them even if their post is set to “private.” Another tricky workaround that people aren’t usually aware of is that if you SHARE your Instagram post on another social media platform like Twitter, your Twitter followers can click on the link and see your private post.

What Instagram trends and slang should I know about?

Clickbait: The practice of using a provocative title with the sole purpose of driving clicks.

Finsta: “Fake Instagram account.” Followed by a close circle of friends where teens post their casual, authentic side, where they can let their guard down a bit, act silly and not edit out every blemish.

#influencer: Instagram is becoming a huge platform for brands to publicize their company. 48.8% of brands use Instagram for promotional purposes. They pay people who are “Instagram famous” to show these brands on their profiles.

Rinsta: “Real Instagram account.” Usually accessible by a wider audience for teens polished and idealized selves.

Slide into someone’s DMs: The practice of randomly sending a DM to someone.

Throwing shade: The act of publicly denouncing or disrespecting someone. Often used in reference to sarcastic remarks against someone or something.

VSCO: The term originally referred to an app used for simple photo edits. It is now commonly used to make fun of girls who use the app.[3]

What are the risks for use?

Cyberbully potential:

Bullies posting unflattering or humiliating tagged or @mentioned photos and videos (@drtracybennett is a loser).
Cruel comments or hashtags (#annoying).
Fake accounts and impersonation.
Influencers making certain activities or expensive clothes/makeup seem normal.

Tracking potential:

Users can include contact information on comments or in their bio. Although posts are set to private, anyone can see your profile photo, username, and bio.
Photos and videos may be geotagged so the location can be tracked. For safety, turn off this feature on your device by turning off the “location” option for “camera.” To prevent Instagram from capturing your location on the iPhone, go to the phone’s settings, tap Instagram, select Location, and choose the “Never” option.

Attention-seeking potential:

Users often try to attract large numbers of followers with poor posting or comment choices.
There are numerous other apps that are affiliated with Instagram and they give the option to buy likes for your posts and even buy more followers.

Inappropriate content potential:

Sexualized, cutting, violent, politicized, and eating disorder images and inappropriate memes are commonplace and easily found when viewing photos and videos from the Explore tab.

Ability to send and receive instant messages, photos, or videos directly:

If your child’s profile is public anyone, including Instagram users your child does not follow, can send them messages, photos, or videos directly. If your child’s account is private, then the messages will be sent to their “message requests” instead of directly to their inbox. From there, you or your child can proceed to decline or accept the message. If one ignores the request folder, the sent item will disappear after two weeks.

What are the protection features?

By setting your profile to private, only followers can see your posts and stories. (There is an option to let anyone see your Stories, followers or not, make sure this setting is turned off). However, keep in mind that ANYONE can see your profile information (profile image, username, and bio), even non-followers.

If you come across an inappropriate photo (or you are tagged inappropriately), go to your profile page, select the three-line icon located at the top right corner above “Edit Profile”, select “Settings”, and “Report a Problem” in the Help area. From there Instagram offers many categories for the report with specific instructions.

Spam or Abuse
Something Isn’t Working
General Feedback
Image or Video Quality Issue
After the Block or Report is completed, that person cannot search for you or view your photos. However, mutual followers can still see your likes and comments on other people’s pictures. Blocked users can also still @mention you. You will receive a notification that they mentioned you but it will not show you the comment they made unless you unblock them. You must change your username to avoid mentions.
If an unwanted comment on your page appears, simply swipe on it and select the “!” icon to report Spam or Scam or Abusive Content or simply trash it.
Instagram’s help center page also encourages social media awareness by providing “Tips for Parents” and “A Parent’s Guide to Instagram.”

Instagram Safety Ideas

Make the account private.

Block problem users.

Report problematic posts.

Manage comments.

Review your profile often and delete old or questionable photos.

Finesse your posts to favorably reflect positive activities, experiences, and character traits (like a digital resume).

Track your time.

Parents – check for extra accounts and other social media follow requests.

Social media can be really fun, but it has its risks. If you think your child is ready for an Instagram account or if they are on it and you want to optimize safety and resilience, YOU WILL LOVE OUR GKIS Social Media Readiness Training Course. It covers social media risks to digital injury and teaches tweens and teens the psychological wellness tools they need to thrive!