Imagine the sensation of someone you know running their fingernails lightly down your arm. Light touch chills or all-over body tingles are the focus of the latest Internet trend, autonomous sensory meridian response, or ASMR. ASMR is shaping up to be Gen Z’s answer to handling stress. Videos are popping up everywhere promising stress relief. What is ASMR, and how can it work for you?
Watching an ASMR video for the first time is a weird experience, so viewing with an open mind is key. Instead of relying on touch to create a sensation of chills through your body, ASMR uses sound. Whispers, scraping noises, teeth clicks– nothing is off-limits to try to create this effect.
First-time viewers describe feelings of absurdity and intrigue, as the videos often show close-up shots of the person with their mouth or other object meant to make noise extremely close to a high-quality microphone perfect for picking up soft sounds.
If it seems too silly at first, close your eyes as you listen. Once immersed in the experience, one of two things will happen – nothing and you’ll feel like you wasted three minutes of your life, or you’ll be hooked like millions of others.
Where ASMR Comes From
ASMR is not entirely new. Before its popularity on the Internet, the research uncovered that some people have a greater sensitivity to sounds. Not only are they more sensitive, but they may get a physical feeling from sounds as well.[1]
ASMR is enjoyable to some because resulting chills and tingles are typically pleasurable.Synesthesiais the experience of having more than one sense triggering another in unexpected ways, such as seeing color when you hear a word or tasting sour when looking at a circle.[2] ASMR is similar in that you hear a sound and instantly get a physical sensation. The best way to compare is to think about the feeling you sometimes get when a singer hits a really high note and it sends chills down your body. That’s what viewers of ASMR are trying to capture. At first glance, this may seem like an elaborate joke everyone else is in on, but you don’t get the punchline. But those watching ASMR videos have a goal in mind, they’re trying to relax and relieve stress.
What the Research is Saying
A 2018 study conducted at the University of Sheffield foundthat for some people, watching ASMR videos can lead to a reduction in stress. People who experienced a sensation of “head tingles” and chills when exposed to ASMR videos felt more relaxed after the viewing.[3]
There is the key difference between feelings brought on by ASMR versus more commonly experienced chills that you or me experience at random intervals throughout our lives. In a common scenario, getting the chills brings about a feeling of excitement. But in ASMR, these sensations cause a sense of calm and well-being.
ASMR can also be a sleep aid. But there’s a catch. ASMR appears to only work for people who have an exquisite sensitivity to sounds. If you do not, these types of videos may produce no feelings at all or have the opposite effect and cause mild discomfort.
ASMR can benefit you!
A clear takeaway in choosing to explore ASMR is that there is no risk in trying. Either you will hate it or love it. If you love it and can now count yourself in the number of people with an autonomous sensory meridian response, consider incorporating a video or two into your weekly routine. It can be a quick 5–minute de-stress at the end of the day or a unique solution for those nights when you just can’t seem to fall asleep.
The weirdness of ASMR is also the beauty of it. It’s a good way to embrace the unusual and is something for when you want to relax but also not take yourself too seriously. For all that is out there online, ASMR is one of those positive surprises with no risks involved.
Thank you to GKIS intern, Chelsea Letham for helping us discover ASMR and untap its potentials. Finding ways to unwind is not always easy so taking advantage of what is at our disposal online is important. Would you like to share your experiences with ASMR or your opinions about what your read in our articles? Please comment below and “like” our GetKidsInternetSafe Facebook page so other parents can find us.
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
PS. Want to try an ASMR video yourself? Chelsea recommends this one:
Works Cited
Roberts, N., Beath, A., & Boag, S. (2018). Autonomous sensory meridian response: Scale development and personality correlates. Psychology of Consciousness: Theory, Research, and Practice doi:10.1037/cns0000168
Poerio G. Could Insomnia Be Relieved with a YouTube Video? The Relaxation and Calm of ASMR. In: Callard F, Staines K, Wilkes J, editors. The Restless Compendium: Interdisciplinary Investigations of Rest and Its Opposites. Basingstoke (UK): Palgrave Macmillan; 2016. Chapter 15. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK453209/ doi: 10.1007/978-3-319-45264-7_15
Poerio GL, Blakey E, Hostler TJ, Veltri T (2018) More than a feeling: Autonomous sensory meridian response (ASMR) is characterized by reliable changes in affect and physiology. PLoS ONE 13(6): e0196645. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0196645
In my private practice life, I maintain a fairly private existence. My focus in session is on my client, not on getting my social needs met. Coaching is the same – although it’s more directive and less intimate and uncovering. But with back and forth discussion, clients get to know me pretty well. They don’t learn the details about my life but do gather a lot from my sense of humor, occasional stories, and encouragement. I want us to get to know each other too. For GKIS to be useful for you, you need to be confident that I share your values and that my sources are credible. I need to know what questions you want answered and topics that you’d like to hear about. It doesn’t escape me that your time is very valuable. If you take the time to open articles, I want to make sure you get as much value and applicability as possible. Same with my books and online parenting courses. In today’s article, I’m going to tell you why I love GKIS so much – and why so many people tell me they love the message.
I’m at a transitional point in my life. I’m 50 years old, my dad is gone and my mom has severe dementia; I’m two years post-divorce, newly in love, and my oldest is engaged and my youngest is officially a teen. I’m at a stopping place where I’m finding myself again and deciding who I want to be when I grow up. It’s a time of new-found stillness and opportunity. I’m old enough to have the wisdom of experience and young enough to plan more adventures and re-create aspects of the woman I really want to be.
My kids still mostly accept my influence, and I’m no longer overtasked to the point of feeling buried. I’m traveling and exploring and openly celebrating without the self-consciousness I had in my younger years. I feel free and curious and energized. I’ve created a business that I’m proud of, with a unique balance of doing things I love as a healer and a teacher. GetKidsInternetSafe is my legacy-building project for helping families achieve true connection and screen safety. It’s about prevention more than treatment. It’s been eye-opening in ways I didn’t expect. Today I’d like to share with you the profound “Ah-ha” I uncovered during a group coaching session. I’m hoping it might move you to create magic moments of stillness in the coming days to help you create more meaning and have more fun in your life, as an individual and a parent. Who do you want to be when you grow up, or are you already there?
Last Saturday I was a creative branding workshop geared to make my business more vital, energizing, and meaningful. Our coach presented two exercises that really got me thinking. The first was to describe the last moment I was in true bliss.
Here’s what I came up with:
Late morning game drive. Perfect 68-degree weather, light breeze on our faces cruising down a red dirt road. Swaying waist-high golden blonde grass as far as the eye could see, a termite mound or a crop of gray rocks here and there. The hum of the engine and tiny jolts from a rocky road. Brad, our two companions from Salt Lake City, and I were on high alert scanning for animals. Our Masai warrior in his hot pink beanie had the windshield down scanning, always quietly scanning. Our jeep had no windows or doors, so it felt like we were flying with few obstructions blocking our view. Scanning, scanning, occasionally switching our internal lense from looking for the grey boulders in the distance that were elephants to the swaying kill in a tree for leopards to the black ears and cunning eyes from the head of a lion or hyena.
The anticipation we all felt seemed to sizzle between us…like somehow our joint efforts were combining into the thrill of patient discovery. We knew after days of tracking that our efforts would definitely payoff. Maybe it would take hours, maybe seconds. We might be treated with a sleek cheetah mom hunting with her two pouncing cubs. Or maybe we’d get to sit and coo at the adorable baby elephant rolling a log with her back foot. Maybe we’d see the gruesome site of a partially-eaten zebra hanging from a tree or the violence of a lion pack stalking and taking down an old water buffalo. The thrill of the beauty of Africa was absolutely intoxicating. I was in true meditative bliss. Hours of meditation spiked with the shock of powerful violence or the lazy relaxation of grazing zebras and wildebeest. I’ve never felt anything quite like that. I was as happy as I get.
Time up, exercise over. Brain shock.
We all looked up from our pens and paper, still kind of stoned from our blissful moment. Waiting with patient curiosity what our coach was going to do with this content…what this could possibly have to do with our businesses and well-honed mission statements.
Then she asked us to write down three things we loved to do as children.
I wrote: take long drives after dinner, play speed games, and climb rocks camping with my BFF standard poodle, Ty.
Then she asked us to compare our bliss now and as kids to what we do in our businesses every day.
Blink.
I mean really, what does the miracle of the African savannah and childhood antics have to do with GKIS?
Blink. Blink.
You can tell me if I’ve lost my mind, because our coach Zhena makes us feel like that sometimes. But with her suggestion, I was struck all at once. My bliss in Tanzania was about the anticipation of thrilling discovery. Thrilling discovery is what childhood is all about. Discovery is why kids tear apart the house, ask incessant questions, and beg for screen time. Watching kids geek out over lady bugs and Mexican Train and Minecraft and Snapchat and Fortnight – that is what parenting is about. Watching our children play and joining them in it is about Discovery.
My work as a psychologist, teacher, writer, and researcher is the same type of discovery I loved on my after-dinner drives with my family. Imaginary mountain climbing on rocks while camping was about adventure. And speed games is pure connection and delight. Parenting and my work as a psychologist is not about this all day, every day. But all of those elements are woven into my job. I get the privilege of watching people discover the pathways from dark places to the light.
Since that blissful midmorning in sunny Africa, I have described that scene to clients in my office while I teach imagery and mindfulness – clients ranging from 6 years old to 76. Then they tell me a scene that is special to them. It’s a moment of connection in the therapy office. A moment where we share our bliss. It’s intimate and fun and connecting, not unlike how it feels to hang out and be truly present with your child. It’s what we are born to do…connect.
The truth is, the reason why screen time is so compelling is because it is ALL about discovery and connection. We can’t turn away from the stimulating, on-demand content. It’s intoxicating. It distracts us from everything and everybody. We get high on it.
That’s not all bad. Learning and discovery is amazing. But research also tells us that learning and discovery in the three-dimensional world outside of screen time is also necessary for balanced health and happiness. GKIS is about connection, discovery, and balance. It’s about supporting each other with strategies and tools to help us guide our kids through this maze of temptations on- and offline.
So, there it is. GKIS is my later-in-life adoption that allows me and my subscribers true discovery. And from my recent inner reflections, I’m reminded that kids hijack peace and quiet, organization, and self-care. Parenting is chaos in motion. It captures us in ways that no other activity does. For me, memories of taking care of my toddlers brings me gently delicious images of bedtime snuggles and kitchen dances. The impossible moments of trying to keep the house clean and stepping on llegos are far dimmer in my memory. Special moments are what you too will remember.
I hope you are inspired to take a moment and write about your recent moment of bliss. Maybe it was a steamy cup of tea early in the morning, or a walk with your best friend, or a snuggle with your child. Or maybe it was an exotic adventure like mine. Whatever your bliss, please take the time to notice it. Even better, create a magic 20 minutes of stillness once a week to curl up on the coach and read your weekly GKIS article. Reflect on how your family is growing and the gaps that GKIS ideas can help with. Journal. Make a gentle plan for progress. Screen safety certainly, but far more delicious are the magic moments of connection that you will have with your family.
I can’t wait to hear what you think of GKIS ideas in the comments of the blog, on FB and Instagram, or email me directly at DrTracy@DrTracyBennett.com.
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
Are you fighting the homework wars? Wondering if screens during homework are helping or hurting grades? We can’t take screens away during homework time anymore. So much of it is online! Kids insist that tech helps them learn better. But does it? Today’s GKIS article covers who tech can help with learning and how it can interfere.
How We Learn
We have to have a good memory to earn good grades. To learn, we must encode, or anchor, that information into brain memory storage. This type of learning happens as we engage with the material over and over. Memories also encode while we sleep. Changing short-term memories into long-term memories happens through biochemical and electrical processes called consolidation.
Different types of memories store in different parts of the brain. Memorizing factual information (required to perform well on tests) primarily involves the part of the brain called the temporal cortex. Intentionally learning facts is called explicit memory.
Memorizing how to do something, like tie your shoes, is called procedural learning. It is stored in the areas of the brain that involve motor control. This kind of learning is called implicit memory.
Emotional memories (like those that occur in traumatic situations) are stored in multiple brain areas including our emotional center, the amygdala.
Research suggests that kids studying while watching TV may encode that information as procedural rather than factual data. Encoding in the wrong brain region makes fact retrieval at test time more difficult. How and where you study also makes a difference.
How to Facilitate Learning
To learn well, we must start with great brain health, get motivated, set up a good workstation, and follow best learning practices. Are you practicing these learning techniques?
Good self-care, brain health, and cognitive fitness are the foundations of learning engagement (like sleep, nutrition, exercise, and a positive mood)
A distraction-free study environment
Efforts toward mental engagement: attention and motivation
Putting the learning content in a variety of different formats (listening to a lecture, reading notes, writing notes, re-writing notes, watching videos, engaging in discussion, etc.)
Memorizing material in a variety of study environments
Making unique meaning of the material, such as generalizing and applying the concepts, especially with emotional connections
Repetition and practice
Avoid doing two tasks at once that require the same cognitive resources (don’t multitask)
Uninterrupted brain rest after each study session (mindfulness, meditation, time out in nature)
The Benefits of Screen Time for Learning
Screen devices can be amazing learning aids. Not only do they help us put the material in different formats, but they are fun and convenient to use! Here are some of the ways screen time benefits our learning.
With our screen devices, we have immediate, easy access to massive stores of information.
The biohacks built into our devices make learning fun. We are captured and motivated.
Online quizzes and testing help us immediately assess where we are with our learning.
Learning programs dish out progressively challenging content at a pace that matches our performance.
Screens give us access to others for group discussions and crowdsourcing problems.
Screens offer cool and create learning formats, like project management and brain mapping systems.
Gamifying content helps us learn and have fun!
Best Learning Strategies
1. Learn from the get-go.
Don’t waste a moment of studying. Be an active learner the minute you come into contact with the material. Actively engage with the content while you read the textbook, take notes in class, and watch the videos. Participating in class also helps deep processing of the material!
2. Learn while you format study materials.
Outline the text and rewrite and highlight your notes. Attend to and connect the main concepts. Leave out illustrative details so you have only essential material (fewer pages) to memorize.
3. Set the stage to study.
Block out sufficient study time over several days using a block-scheduling download from the Internet. Prepare yourself and your study space to optimize learning. Make sure you are comfortable and fit (fed, hydrated, rested) with a positive attitude about studying. Find a comfortable, non-distracting study location. Turn off your phone and other notifications and commit to studying only, no social media or Internet surfing.
4. Engage with content, don’t kill and drill.
For a student to learn effectively, they must engage with the content and integrate it into a meaningful framework. Students often make the mistake of mindlessly rehearsing isolated facts, thinking time spent is evidence of learning. Kill and drill is a waste of time and mind-numbingly punishing. Deeply processing information is the best way to learn.
5. Create learning pathways.
Each time we encode a fact into the hippocampal area (memory center) of our brain, we create a learning pathway to that content that can later be traveled for retrieval at test time. Increasing the number of pathways to that encoded fact is the process of effective learning.
In items 2 and 3 of this list, you already paved the initial pathways! The first pathways include when you listened to the lecture, wrote notes, read the textbook, answered the teacher’s questions, and formatted study materials.
To pave additional pathways to test content, find creative ways to further engage with and elaborate on the material while you study. The more emotionally and cognitively meaningful the material is for you, the easier it will be to learn. For example, use the Internet to view the study material in a variety of vivid formats, such as illustrative maps, diagrams, pictures, speeches, or videos. Link the information to emotionally meaningful memories or associated topics. Study from a variety of locations. Form a study group and talk with others about the content.
6. Rehearse the information and practice retrieving it and applying it just like you would at test time.
If the test is multiple-choice, make up questions that would lead to memorized facts. If the test is an essay, practice outlining and writing essays on that material.
7. Study small chunks of material at a time over several days, eventually linking the chunks together.
Don’t cram at the last minute. Your brain needs time to deeply process newly learned material. It will even process when you’re not actively studying, even in your sleep! That means it’s best to learn and rehearse chunks of material over several days. By test time, the chunks will come together for easy, A+ retrieval.
Fostering the love of learning is the best thing we can do with our kids, that means helping them learn better and achieve a healthy balance on- and off-screen. For more learning tips, view my free video, “How to Study Effectively: Metacognition in Action.”
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetYourKidsInternetSafe.
