We were hunters and gatherers for 90% of human existence. That means our brains are still wired to prioritize the things that kept us alive when we were living on the land, before the domestication of animals and the construction of cities. One thing that kept us alive was living in a tribe and cooperating. Attracting a tribe and fitting in was a requirement of life. That is why kids and teens are hyper-focused on doing what their friends do and working to be cool and accepted. Online influencers count on this drive to maintain their income streams. One way to attract kids online is to be a kid doing what kids love to do, playing with toys and video games, opening new packages, and hanging out with friends acting goofy. Netflix’s Bad Influencer offers a glimpse of the kid influencer “scene,” and the lengths that some parents will go to attract and keep a following.
What is Bad Influence about?
The limited documentary series has gone viral for good reason. It’s definitely entertaining, but also deeply unsettling. It is a perfect way to raise awareness about how scary a life all about social media can be. Bad Influencer is a documentary that focuses on a tween who becomes an overnight social media star and brings her friends to stardom with her. What started out as a fun hobby quickly turned into a living nightmare. It may seem glamorous to be famous online, until you learn that the child influencers spent the majority of their childhoods working long hours acting out video ideas, risky stunts, and performing pranks that sometimes went too far—all under the pressure of adult producers/parents hungry for views. Check out Intimacy With Minors Encouraged at the Hype House for a similar story of underage exploitation.
SPOILER ALERT: The show takes a chilling turn when the mother of the main character is accused of, and videotaped, sexually exploiting these kids on set by positioning herself as one of the only adults supervising them to control them. Some survived the battle with only a few scars, while the main character is stuck living this nightmare over and over again. It may be funny, exaggerated, and attention-grabbing, but it also paints a dark picture of a digital world where clout matters more than character and children are left to pay the price.
Psychology Behind the Fame Obsession
From a psychological point of view, being an influencer is cool to children because they have a natural need for validation, attention, and social connection.[1] Although the minimum age on most social media platforms is 13, it is reported that children ranging from 8-17 are found scrolling through online platforms soaking up content too mature for their ages.[2] Sadly, unlike real-world relationships, social media platforms offer fast, unfiltered dopamine hits through likes, shares, and views. Without proper guidance, this can make kids tie their self-worth to online numbers, which can result in low self-esteem, fear of missing out (FOMO), performance anxiety, and digital addiction.[3] As a result of social unlimited social media usage, kids can also experience anxiety, depression, and even poor quality of sleep.[4] Counteract this monster and help your child build emotional resilience, red flag awareness, and digital literacy by taking our GKIS Social Media Readiness Training Course. Geared for teens or tweens, it’s the perfect giftbefore that new device or video game.
What You Can Do to Help
Bad Influencer is not just a show; it’s a cautionary tale that shares the pressures kids face online every day. It is easy to get off topic and want to pull the plug on all electronics just to protect your child from their dangers, but that is not always possible. Technology and online platforms are all around us, and it is better to set your child up for success than to try to keep them out of the loop. Connecting with your child over what they find interesting can help create a trusting relationship where you can notice if things start to become a little off. Our free Connected Family Screen Agreement can help you and your child co-create rules around how to safely navigate online platforms. This way your child can thrive in the digital age without losing themselves in it.
Thanks to CSUCI intern, Elaha Qudratulla for researching and co-writing this article.
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe. Onward to More Awesome Parenting,
We believe we’re caught up with the dangers of internet usage and social media, but there’s a new shocking frenzy in town. Your child’s favorite TikTok users are writing to inmates, and your child may be considering it, too. We’re covering the start of the craze, the dangers of being a pen pal, and how to protect your child from these relationships. If protecting your child is one of your goals as a parent, take a look at our GKIS Social Media Readiness Course, a tool that helps you get your child “social” while avoiding digital injury.
The Beginning of the Inmate Pen-pal Craze
During the quarantine of 2020, TikTok users filmed their experience writing to inmates. These people used WriteAPrisoner, a website that lists inmate profiles that are seeking pen-pals. Users showed their friendships with inmates progressing from friends, best friends, and in most cases, romantic partners. TikTok users were intrigued by the idea, picked up their pen and papers, and started writing to inmates, too. Although the start of the craze was in 2020, teens everywhere are still writing.
TikTok user @jadalous2.0, aka Jade Chipps, has gained millions of views and over 300,000 followers from sharing her story. In some of her most popular videos, she shares that she used an inmate pen-pal website to write to potential suitors.[1] Jade shares that she started dating an inmate named Chris and married him after seven months of dating. Most of Jade’s comments come from young girls asking her advice on how to choose a good pen pal, what advice she has for those dating inmates, what site people should use to find their future partner and more.
Why is this so popular?
Our youth have proven their interest in true crime and the macabre over the past few years. We’ve seen a rise in the production of horror films, true crime documentaries, and even the romanticization of serial killers. We’re so much of a rise in interest that even teens on social media are creating fan accounts for their ‘favorite’ serial killers.
Serial killer films tend to remove the emotional aspect of the cases, such as grieving families, and focus on the quirks of the killer to pique interest. Therefore, we forget the gruesomeness and real-life impact these situations inflict on people, and we become desensitized to it. Once we’re desensitized, we see more intense thrills. Take a peek at our GKIS articles Does Social Media Promote Serial Killer Obsessions Through Murderer Fan Accounts? and Do Netflix Serial Killer Exposés Cause Kids to Romanticize Murderers? if you want to learn more about the shocking truth surrounding murderer glamorization. Writing to inmates is no exception to this normalization and we’re likely to see a bigger rise in these trends.
What is WriteAPrisoner?
WriteAPrisoner.com is a website that lists profiles for inmates who are seeking pen pals. Each profile displays an inmate’s name, gender, age, race, what crime they committed, and an ‘about me’ section where they can write whatever they want. Inmates’ addresses are also listed on the profile.
The website has filters that make it easy for users to narrow down a certain type of person they’re looking for. It also lets people see specific info like what inmates are low on mail, which have recently created a profile, and which inmates are on death row.
Dangers of Writing an Inmate
WriteAPrisoner’s main danger is no age verification for writing to someone on the site. Although WriteAPrisoner encourages only people over 18 to write, anyone can access an inmate’s address by setting up a free account.
Another dangerous aspect of WriteAPrisoner is regarding an inmate’s crime. WriteAPrisoner does not discriminate when it comes to inmate charges. So, inmates with any charges like murder, sexual assault, or domestic violence can all have profiles.
On a similar note, WriteAPrisoner requires inmates to list the crimes they committed. WriteAPrisoner verifies these crimes to make sure they are truly the ones committed by the inmate. However, an inmate’s profile can go live before WriteAPrisoner verifies their crime, so you may think you’re writing to a non-violent inmate when you really are.
Other risks that come along with writing to an inmate include being scammed. Many inmates on pen-pal websites claim to be seeking friendships, but really only want to correspond so they can ask for favors or money. Although not the case for all pen-pal friendships, relationships can turn hostile once an inmate figures out you won’t be supporting them financially.
A common misconception among those who write to inmates is that it’s safe because they’re locked away. However, we tend to forget that inmates have friends and family outside of prison. Although it might not be common, an inmate can use their external sources to harm you if your relationship with them goes sour.
Other risks you may face when writing to an inmate include:
Having your address exposed to other inmates
Having your personal letters and photos passed around
Engaging with a dangerous person
Being manipulated or scammed
How Can I Protect My Child from These Relationships?
GKIS does not recommend that your child write to an inmate. Although it may seem like a kind gesture, you face several risks when writing to one. Preventive practice is best, so we encourage you to engage in open conversation with your child about the content they’re viewing with our free GKIS Connected Family Agreement.
Website monitoring and filtering can play a big part in your child’s safety. If you’re not sure where to start, we recommend checking out our GKIS Screen Safety Essentials Course, a tool that grants you access to all of GKIS’ parenting courses. These courses help you teach your children to navigate the internet cautiously, instill digital resilience, and avoid digital injury. Get the ball rolling by sitting down with your child and asking what websites give them red flags and why.
Thanks to CSUCI intern Samantha Sanchez for researching inmate pen-pal sites and preparing this article.
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
If you are a parent reading this, you understand how much we care about our children. Thirty-seven percent of kids have been a victim of cyberbullying, and 30% have reported cyberbullying to be an ongoing situation.[1] When we think of cyberbullying, we think of one teenager making online comments about another teen. But imagine a situation where your young adult child is repeatedly having to endure nasty remarks from other adults like it is in the case of college athletes. Some argue that is part of the fame. But is it also part of childhood? We don’t think so at GKIS. For that reason, we created our Social Media Readiness Course for tweens and teens to help your kids recognize the signs of online abuse and how to avoid it. Today’s GKIS article covers what parents of college athletes may encounter on Twitter as well as how to counterbalance the negativity.
Social Media in the Lives of College Athletes
In our GKIS article “When Young Athletes Look to Twitter to Showcase Talent and Track Sports News: An Inside Look,” we discussed the role social media plays in a young athlete’s life and how they learn to cope with it.
Our interviewee John said he learned how to detox from social media on occasion and also how to use cyberbullying as motivation. But when you’re a parent and hear something being said negatively toward your child, even if your child is an adult, it’s hard not to take that personally. There’s no protection from it, and if you jump to their aid online, it might ultimately harm them. College and professional teams don’t want to deal with online drama coming from parents. But sometimes, enough is enough…or is it?
When Parents Can’t Take the Online Attacks Anymore
Randi Mahomes, the mother of Super Bowl champion Patrick Mahomes, took to Twitter in 2021 to express her displeasure at a hit her son took from an opposing player. Arguably, she is in a reasonable position to speak her mind whether we agree with it or not because her son is already playing at the highest level.
But our division one college football player John’s parents weren’t so lucky. If someone was displeased with how John played a game and tweeted, “I hope your dog eats chocolate and gets really sick and throws up on your socks.”[2] (a tweet 7-time Superbowl champion Tom Brady once got), John’s parents must idly stand by and watch people sling mud at their child.
John’s mother Mary recalls, “The hardest one was seeing a tweet saying John was a ‘piece of shit’ after he had a bad game. Most of the time, I would listen to John and let it be, but I couldn’t with that comment. I had to speak my mind and tweet back.” She elaborated, “A few Twitter exchanges went back and forth, and then I let it go after speaking my mind.”
Mary said that some situations were more complicated than others, and she recalls many days being in tears over Twitter comments. She said a particularly hard day was when they read on Twitter that the college John had decided to go with unexpectedly selected a different quarterback. The tweet went out before John ever got a personal call saying the spot that he was offered was no longer available. It was heartbreaking, considering that he had turned down other offers in favor of this one, some of those offers were no longer available. After many conversations with the college scout prior to the tweet that seemed like a guarantee is followed with silence, it was hurtful.
Mary said, “About 80% of the time, the tweets were very positive. John had a good record, so it was more good than bad.” She said she still uses Twitter because she has other interests in the app, not just sports. Her husband, however, has since deleted the app now that their son is done with his athletic college career.
Parents are proud of their children and love to hear positive things. They don’t want to read tweets from strangers saying how their child isn’t trying hard enough or how they lost the big game for the team. Parents see firsthand how much their child loves the game, how hard they work, and how much sacrifice they give up competing at a top level. Because online education starts with parents, we created our Screen Safety Essentials Course for parents and families. Knowing what troubles lurk online will help parents teach their kids what they need to know to avoid digital injury and problem-solve through difficult online situations.
Other Ideas for How to Work Around Unwanted Negativity
Keep a positive dialogue going with your child about the pressures that arise from being an athlete with anonymous fans.
Adopt our free Connected Family Agreement, a simple tool that sets reasonable online limits and feeds a cooperative family alliance when it comes to online decisions.
Filter and manage online content with our Screen Safety Toolkit. This resource guide helps you build a customized set of parental controls for filtering and monitoring online content.
Set designated times throughout the week when everyone spends time together without their devices. Share about your offline and online lives to stay connected.
Thanks to CSUCI intern Keith Ferries for doing the research and writing this article.
[1] Patchin, J. W., Ph.D. (2019, July 9). 2019 Cyberbullying Data. https://cyberbullying.org/2019-cyberbullying-data
[2] Kimble, L. (2021, February 5). Tom Brady Reads Mean Tweets About Himself Ahead of Super Bowl 2021. People.com. https://people.com/sports/super-bowl-2021-tom-brady-reads-mean-tweets/
Advancements in artificial intelligence technology have transformed the media we consume. These highly intelligent computer programs can create realistic-looking images from a few words, hold entire conversations, and even write cited essays. While programs like ChatGPT can give us simple answers to our questions, they can also hinder our children’s learning when they outsource their brainwork to an all-knowing robot. If you worry that your child is relying on technology a little too much, our Screen Safety Toolkit offers a resource guide so you can tighten up screen time supervision and management.
What is ChatGPT?
ChatGPT is a language processing tool that is powered by artificial intelligence (AI) technology, allowing you to have human-like conversations.[1] ChatGPT can answer one’s questions and complete various tasks from essays, to editing code, to writing emails. This software is open to the public for free, although there is also a paid subscription version with additional features.[1] Notable celebrities in technology like Elon Musk have commented on the strength of ChatGPT, stating “ChatGPT is scary good. We are not far from dangerously strong AI.”[1]
ChatGPT gets its data from textbooks, websites, and various articles which it simultaneously uses to model its language to seem more human-like.[2] This AI is well-trained on biased and unbiased data and can reproduce data with reliability, something that many other similar AI systems lack.[2]
When asked to write a sentence for this article, ChatGPT responded with, “ChatGPT is an artificial intelligence language model developed by OpenAI, based on the GPT-3 architecture. It is designed to generate natural language responses to a wide variety of prompts and questions. ChatGPT uses advanced machine learning algorithms to understand the nuances of language and generate context-sensitive responses that are often indistinguishable from those written by a human. It has a wide range of potential applications, from customer service and education to creative writing and more.”[3] How’s that for a definition?!
How are kids using ChatGPT to cheat?
While ChatGPT’s design of being able to generate natural responses to various questions and prompts can make it a helpful tool for educational and informational purposes, it also opens it up to exploitation for other purposes. A quick Google search will turn up dozens of articles on how to get ChatGPT to write your essay for you. A student at Cardiff University in Wales shared his experience with turning in two papers, one written by himself and the other written by ChatGPT.[4] The essay from ChatGPT earned him the highest grade he had ever received on an essay in his entire time in undergraduate school.[4]
College professor and TikTok user Lilmaverick3 received an essay from one of her students that had been flagged by TurnItIn.com as being 100% written by AI technology, proving that students have already started taking advantage of the AI’s skills and ability to create human-like speech.[5] The technology is still relatively new but stories just like this will likely continue.
Cheating robs children of the satisfaction of completing their own assignments and the learning experience that comes with research. It also offers a dishonest view of academic ability, which can quickly get out of hand when teachers ratchet up expectations in response.
What Parents and Educators Can Do to Prevent Cheating
Research various forms of AI detectors and run your child’s papers through flagging software, this way you can see if the paper has any elements that have been plagiarized.
Some popular flagging software includes Writer’s AI Content Detector and Content at Scale’s AI Detector. For educators, we recommend having students turn in assignments through TurnItIn.com, this checks for plagiarism as well as how much of the assignment is AI-generated content.
Sit with your child while they work on assignments to offer support as they need it, and be there before they decide to turn to AIs.
Manage smart devices during homework time using resources from our GKIS Screen Safety Toolkit.
Utilize ChatGPT in ways that allow it to be an educational tool, like writing ideas, creating to-do lists, and finding resources.
ChatGPT is a helpful tool for educational purposes when used properly. As a prompt-based language bot, it can be used to spruce up resumes or cover letters based on inputted job description data, help create outlines for papers based on inputted prompt data, and even provide recipes for weekly meals.
Promoting ChatGPT as an educational tool rather than a homework robot can prevent your child from creating an unhealthy dependence on AI software to do their work for them.
For Xgens and millennials, the internet has been a place for people to overshare through Facebook location “check-ins” and Instagram posts chronicling every detail of their latest vacations. Some Gen Z’s, in contrast, have turned casual oversharing into something much darker – publicly sharing stories of trauma for internet clout. To monitor and ensure your child is not sharing their deepest, darkest secrets on TikTok, check out our GKIS Screen Safety Essentials Course. This course provides you access to all GKIS parenting courses, agreements, and supplements to teach your kids independent resilience and good coping skills, all of which work to build a positive parent-child partnership and avoid a digital injury.
What is “trauma dumping”?
Trauma dumping is when a person overshares difficult information with another person without their consent.[1] Trauma dumping for content is done when a person constantly talks about a traumatic experience, even sometimes going so far as to recreate or reenact the traumatic incident online.[2]
Tramadumpers typically do not consider their impact on viewers and are not seeking advice.[1] The sharing often occurs in inappropriate places and times to someone who cannot understand and process someone else’s trauma.[3]
How does trauma dumping differ from venting?
Trauma dumping differs from venting because venting is the release of pent-up emotions rather than details of traumatic experiences.[2] When venting, a person is more mindful of the other person’s boundaries and how much they should share. Venting is an ordinary action people take to blow off steam, while trauma dumping is a potentially harmful action.
Why is sharing trauma for views and likes problematic?
Sharing or posting about a personal experience is not inherently wrong. But when you are sharing about it on social media often, it can become a maladaptive coping mechanism, meaning that instead of reducing the effect of a traumatic event on one’s mental health, you instead cause more harm and increase long-term stress.[4]
How Viewing Trauma Dumping Affects Viewers
The TikTok hashtags #trauma and #traumatok have a combined total of more than 22.5 billion views. As of 2023, Tiktok has 1.53 billion users, meaning that videos with the aforementioned hashtags have been viewed more times than there are users on the app.[5]
I asked a frequent TikTok user to recount her experience viewing a #traumatok video. She shared, “I was scrolling through my TikTok For You Page and saw a video a girl shared of her last conversation with her mother before her mother passed away from Covid-19. It made me feel sad, and I thought about it pretty often throughout the day. I told my friend about it later, and she said she had seen it too and it made her cry. Her dad passed away from Covid-19, and it hit home for her and reminded her of her dad’s passing. I can’t imagine seeing that kind of content as an 11-year-old or something.”
Viewers of trauma content can also inadvertently desensitize themselves. By viewing a trauma dump video and then scrolling to a happy or neutral video, they can prevent themselves from feeling the full impact of the content and thus are conditioning themselves to not adequately process traumatic content.[6] Through viewing traumatic content, viewers may inadvertently open themselves up to their own traumas. To learn more about doom-scrolling, see our GKIS article, “Doom-Scrolling: How Much Bad News Can We Take?”
What Parents Can Do
Preventing children from viewing #traumatok content is critical to ensure your child does not suffer from a digital injury.
Keep your child safe by:
Limiting and monitoring your child’s only content using our GKIS Screen Safety Toolkit. This resource helps you set parental controls and smart tools created to filter content and manage online behavior.
Keep the conversation going using our free GKIS Connected Family Agreement. By having regular discussions and co-viewing your child’s content, the learning continues both ways.
Preparing your children for social media usage through our GKIS Social Media Readiness Course. This course will help your child stay safe from digital injury and prepare them to “get social.”
Sexual content on a social media platform with millions of young children should never be allowed, but lines become blurred when TikTok users find subversive ways to share fetish content with others. Behind seemingly innocent videos lay adults seeking to arouse one another, uncaring that it may be occurring right in front of your child. Protect your child from inappropriate online content and prevent digital injury with our GKISScreen Safety Toolkit.
What is a “Fetish” or “Kink”?
A fetish refers to sexual arousal resulting from objects or a specific body part that is not typically seen as sexual.[1] Fetish objects or body parts could include feet, hair, food, or even balloons. For those with a fetish, sex may be less pleasurable or even impossible without the presence of the fetish object.
In contrast, kink refers to unconventional or bizarre sexual activity with self or others.[2] While fetishes can become sexual disorders, kinks typically do not progress to that level. More specifically, Fetishistic Disorder occurs when a person’s fetish escalates to the point of being persistent and distressing.[3] To meet the conditions for this disorder, an individual must experience sexual urges that meet the definition of a fetish, these fetishes must cause distress or impairment in functioning, and the object they fetishize must not be used in cross-dressing or sexual stimulation.[4]
Fetishistic Disorders are typically seen in males and emerge during puberty.[4] Fetishistic Disorder can make it hard for individuals to develop intimate relationships and can cause sexual dysfunction.[4] Studies have also found that fetishism is often correlated with other mental health issues, substance abuse, criminal justice involvement, and an increased risk of sexually transmitted infections.[4]
How are TikTok Users Posting This Content?
Most social media websites have content filters and bots that flag any content that can be considered inappropriate or of a sexual nature. However, most of the fetish content on TikTok does not contain nudity, instead appealing to fetishes that utilize implied sexual behavior.
Popular TikTok user Lena Rae (@lenarae.lh), who has over 230k followers, has created a collection of videos titled, “Is This Fetish Content?” that identifies this type of content and calls out the users to post it.
In a video with almost 18 million views, Lena Rae reacts to a seemingly innocent video from user “putinnu” (a not-so-thinly veiled attempt at sexual innuendo “put it in you”). The video shows a woman in a wedding dress shoving a glass vase into a multi-tiered cake and then proceeding to pour multi-colored, runny frosting inside the vase. Lena Rae points out the vase is a phallic shape. She also comments on the consistency of the frosting and how the person is spilling it as they pour. The woman in the video explains that the frosting is going to run all over the cake, a reference that Lena Rae says is to appeal to those with a “sploshing” fetish. Lena Rae points out that the actions in the video are purposely repetitive and aim to appeal to a fetishistic audience.[5]
While these videos may not be expressly sexual like other content on TikTok, the hidden fetish content videos are flooded with comments from adults who are taking pleasure in the content being suggested to them. This creates a dangerous combination of adults with sexual fetishes consuming content that is “safe” enough to also show up on the For You Page of young kids.
How Viewing This Content Can Affect Kids
Viewing sexual content at any age can be harmful to one’s mental health, but when viewed during a time of development, it can have lasting effects into adulthood.
Experts have found that young children who view pornographic content frequently become isolated, withdrawn, anxious, or depressed.[6] Consumption of online sexual content at a young age can lead to premature sexual experimentation as well as other high-risk behaviors, dating violence, cannabis abuse, or the development of harmful fetishes.[7]
What Parents Can Do
Open communication about sexual content can save your child from digital injury and stunted development. Some experts even recommend talking to your child as young as 9 years old about the difference between “good” and “bad” pictures.[8] Experts believe that in doing so, children will be better able to identify groomers or online predators and be less susceptible to them.
There are also various protective factors that one can turn to to prevent early exposure to sex. Creating an environment where a child feels connected to their parents and family can help them feel more comfortable communicating about the content they consume. To help facilitate difficult conversations about online content, try out our free GKISConnected Family Screen Agreement. Fostering healthy conversations and helping your child create positive self-perception can help kids to seek validation from family and peers rather than online strangers.
Thanks to CSUCI intern, Katherine Carroll for researching ChatGPT.
