Feeling unproductive, unmotivated, and notice that you are wasting countless hours scrolling through social media? A social media cleanse may be a great decision to improve your well-being. In this week’s GKIS article, we will provide a step-by-step guide to putting down your phone and getting that much-needed break your mental health deserves. To help your tween or teen demonstrate they have the knowledge, problem solving ability, and judgment for social media, check out our Social Media Readiness Course. It’s an online course for tweens and teens that offers information about the risks of digital injury due to social media and psychological wellness tools. With a quiz for each module, they work their way through independently so their graduation certification demonstrates mastery of content. Of course, you can take it too if you’d like. It’s like driver’s training but for the internet!
According to pewresearch.org, 70% of Americans use social media.[1] For adults, the most popular social media platforms include YouTube (73%) and Facebook (68%). In contrast, 63% of teens use Instagram, making it the most popular social media platform amongst young users ages 15-25.[2]
According to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 90% of teens have used social media and teens spend an average of nine hours a day on social media.[3] Participants of a research study conducted by the Pew Research Center found that 74% of Facebook users visit Facebook daily. People of varying ages spend a lot of time on social media.
We use social media to view funny memes, stay connected to friends and family, meet new people, share opinions and information, show off passions and creative pursuits, advertise businesses, and even get news. Most of us find it extremely rewarding and feel we’ve got it under control. But for others, social media can negatively impact mental health.
Risks of Social Media Use
I’m a millennial who’s been using social media for 10 years. I’ve experienced a wide range of negative effects due to my social media use, including feelings of insecurity and not being good enough, anxiety, and the big one, fear of missing out (FOMO).
For years, I followed my friends’ and Instagram influencers’ profiles and wondered why I wasn’t as happy as them or why I couldn’t travel the world and have a life of fun and excitement. I often compared myself to others on social media and it hurt my mental health. In her book, Screen Time in the Mean Time, Dr. Bennett calls that “compare and despair” and believes it is a common contributor to teen anxiety and depression.
Social media can be a toxic place, especially during these unprecedented times. It’s too easy to spend hours on Google trying to figure out if you have COVID-19 and spend another 45 minutes scrolling through Facebook comments of people arguing over politics. Feelings are high and extreme opinions are rampant. According to helpguide.org, social risks include increased feelings of isolation, depression, anxiety, and insecurity.[4]
The Benefits of a Social Media Cleanse
To get away from negativity, a social media cleanse may be the answer. The benefits of a social media detox include:
More free time for other things, like research about a favorite topic
To research this article, I deleted all of my social media apps including my all-time favorite, Instagram, about a month ago. I was concerned that I was averaging too much screen time (6 hours a day), and I wanted to be more productive and connect more with my boyfriend and family.
My first week of being social media free was by far the hardest. But it became much easier after that. I often felt the urge to redownload my Instagram app, but for the most part I have been able to stay away.
The benefits of staying offline have really paid off for me. Almost immediately, I felt it was easier to fall asleep at night (since I was not on Instagram or TikTok late). I’ve also felt a reduction in stress, anxiety, and anger. Now I don’t feel the need to check my friend’s social media just to see what they’re doing all the time. Instead, I reach out directly to friends to reconnect.
I worried that if I deleted my social media accounts, I would feel more disconnected from my friends. But instead, I’ve kept in touch with them more than before my social media cleanse. Relationships and connections are important to me, and I’m glad that I’ve been able to connect in a more meaningful and sincere way. Overall, I’m happy with the results. I feel more mindful and present in my everyday life, my sleep has improved, I’ve experienced less stress and anxiety, and I have more free time to get work done and spend time reconnecting with the people I love.
Do You Need a Social Media Break?
Here are some red flags that may signal that you are ready for a social media cleanse:
You spend most of your free time on social media.
You feel like you need to share or post often.
You find it hard to focus on schoolwork or other life responsibilities.
You feel an increase in anxiety and stress after spending time on social media.
You feel more lonely, unmotivated, and less creative.
You are experiencing feelings of low self-esteem or low self-confidence.
You feel anxious without your phone.
You feel guilty or ashamed about the amount of time spent on social media.
How to Get Started
There are many ways to jump-start your social media cleanse. You can stop your phone use cold turkey, or you can delete one or two apps at a time. You can also cut down your friend list to only those you have a close, personal relationship with to cut out the less meaningful posts. Find whatever works best for you.
Here are some tips for getting started:
Deactivate or delete your social media accounts.
Delete social media apps from your phone.
Connect with family and friends in alternative ways.
Set a time limit on your phone to cut back on overall phone use.
Check your daily Screen Use and make adjustments if needed.
Set a specific “phone bedtime” before your actual bedtime (At least 3o minutes before you go to bed is recommended).
Make your bedroom a phone-free zone.
Turn your phone on “Night Mode” to decrease blue light emissions.[6]
Most importantly, remind yourself why you decided to go on a cleanse in the first place. And remember, your cleanse doesn’t have to be a permanent decision, you can always go back.
Enriching Activities to Reconnect Offline
There are endless possibilities for new enriching activities. You can practice meditation, pick up a new skill, or do that thing you’ve been meaning to do. Here are some fun ideas to reconnect with your loved ones:
Family game night
Family movie night
Cook a family dinner. Make it exciting by trying a new recipe or cooking an old family favorite.
Have a family yoga or workout session.
Practice meditation and deep breathing (alone or with family).
Using this extra time to reconnect and spend valuable time with your family is great, but it’s also important to spend time hanging out with yourself. Start by catching up on your sleep, creating a playlist, or reading a favorite book. Don’t feel pressured to constantly look for something to keep you busy unless that’s what you want to do. This is a well-deserved break. Do whatever you want with it and enjoy!
If you’re interested in learning more helpful tips about parenting in the digital age, check out the GKIS Connected Family Course. The GKIS Connected Family Course is family-tested and outcome-based and helps you close screen risk gaps and improve family cooperation and closeness.
Thanks to CSUCI intern, Remi Ali Khan for researching social media cleanses for this article.
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
Persuasion plays a big role in our interaction with the world and the people around us. We persuade our friends to watch our favorite movie with us and are persuaded to elect a new president. Some manipulations are transparent. Others are well-thought-out psychological hidden tricks to make easy money. With the rise of technology, methods of manipulation and persuasion are commonly used. From advertisements to get you to buy products to being kept in the dark about what the company promises you, these methods of manipulation are known as dark patterns.
What are dark patterns?
Dark patterns are persuasive techniques used by companies to trick people into buying and signing up for things.
The term dark pattern was coined by Harry Brignull, a cognitive scientist.[1] He describes dark patterns as, “A user interface that has been carefully crafted to trick users into doing things. they are not mistakes. They are carefully crafted with a solid understanding of human psychology, and they do not have the user’s interest in mind.”[2]
Why do companies use dark patterns?
The Internet is a business platform. Websites are designed to capture your attention. To stay competitive, companies must have offers that set them apart, like the end-cap items at the grocery store.[3]
Intentional product placement forces customers to view more expensive merchandise on their way to grab their everyday purchases. Online websites have similar methods of forcing users to see attractive products.
Dark patterns come in many different styles, all with the same intention of keeping the misleading strategy somewhat hidden. Sometimes, dark patterns can be illegal. Brignull says, “Many designers, and possibly even most, hate using dark patterns in their work, but they are forced to implement them by managers. These managers only care about one or two individual metrics, not the experience of the site or brand as a whole. So, a manager who is tasked with increasing the number of people who sign up for a company’s newsletter might order a website designer to use a dark pattern to capture email addresses, because it’s an easy short-term solution that doesn’t require any effort.”[4]
Types of Dark Patterns from Dr. Brignull’s website, darkpatters.org.
Bait & Switch
The bait and switch technique refers to the act of advertising a ‘too good to be true’ price that is not stocked. By grabbing the customer’s attention, the chances of purchasing an alternatively higher-priced item go up.
Disguised Ad
Disguised ads are advertisements designed to appear like the content the user was searching for, so they’ll mistakenly click on them. They are typically presented to people during informational searches.
Forced Continuity
The forced continuity dark pattern is used when a company offers a free trial period. The company holds the customer responsible for unsubscribing from the free trial period, otherwise charging them for their subscription.
Obstruction
Obstruction refers to the strategy of making a particular task more difficult than it needs to be. The intent is to frustrate or confuse the customer so they give up before completing the task. A common obstruction is hiding the unsubscribe link or instructions, so the customer gives up and keeps on paying their monthly subscription cost.
Friend Spam
Friend Spam refers to the devious act of asking for access to your social media friends list and then spamming them with ads. The user agrees because they’re rushing through the signup process or under the impression that your friend list will be used for a desirable outcome, like finding more friends. LinkedIn was sued for $13 million in 2015 for using this dark pattern.
Hidden Costs
Hidden costs typically appear in the last step of the checkout process when the company asks for additional and unexpected charges, like delivery or shipping charges. Because the customer has already invested enthusiasm and time in the purchase, they are less likely to bail on the transition at the end of the process.
Price Comparison Prevention
This dark pattern is in play when the retailer makes it hard for the user to compare the prices of an item with another item to prevent them from making an informed buying decision.
Privacy Zuckering
Privacy Zuckering occurs when the customer is tricked into publicly sharing more information about themselves than they intended. This dark pattern was named after Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerburg because, in the company’s early years of development, Facebook made it difficult for users to control their privacy settings and easy to overshare by mistake.
Today, ‘privacy zuckering’ works more deviously, using data brokers to collect personal information that they sell to other companies.[8] These techniques were described in Facebook’s lengthy ‘terms and conditions.’ But most users won’t read them because of the overly burdensome legalese.[9]
Roach Motel
This dark pattern technique makes it easy for you to get into a certain situation but hard for you to get out of it.
An example is if a customer wants to delete their profile or content on social media but is punished with unwanted consequences if they do so (like requiring you to lose all of your photos or contacts as a penalty for deletion).
Sneak into the Basket
Sneak into the basket happens when the customer attempts to purchase something, but somewhere during their purchasing journey, an additional item appears in their basket.
Trick Question
A trick question compels you to answer thinking one thing but, if read carefully, it asks for another thing entirely.
Fear of Missing Out
This dark pattern technique is made to look like the item you’re thinking of purchasing is in high demand, pressuring you to make the decision quickly.[10]
Examples include a reminder of the number of people looking also at the specific item. The marketing technique of scarcity will alert you, “Only 3 left!” Booking hotel rooms, airplane flights, and merchandise on Amazon use this persuasive tactic to trigger your urgency and thus increase sales.
Nagging/Forced Action
A popup appears that requires action before you can move forward with your online task.
Sneaking
Sneaking refers to hiding, disguising, or delaying relevant information to force uninformed decisions.
Intentional Misdirection
Intentional misdirection is a persuasive technique that offers a promise for a free or inexpensive item, only to eventually inform you that the free item doesn’t apply to you after all, and you must purchase a different solution.
An example of this type of dark pattern is that was used by the company Turbo Tax. In this instance, Turbo Tax offered people the option to file their taxes online for free. But once in the sales funnel, customers discovered that the free option only applied to people needing to file a simple W-2 form (which is a small minority of taxpayers). Once customers purchased the paid option that applied to them, they would discover the extra $60 to $200 charges for any forms that deal with loans and mortgages.[5] That moves what looks like a free service to an unexpected paid service.
Our GKIS favorite podcast Reply All covered dark patterns in episode #144. They reported that Turbo Taxes’ second option, known as Turbo Tax-Free File/Freedom, was not advertised and the link could not be found anywhere on their website. Further, Turbo Tax-Free File was only free for people whose adjusted gross annual income was $66,000 or less.[6] When the producers searched online for TurboTax Freefile/Freedom, Google offered two options, an orange button asking if you qualify or a blue button saying “start for free.” Most people would choose the option of the blue button that offers free tax filing. But choosing the blue button takes you back to Turbo Tax-Free, where only simple forms are free. Finding TurboTax Free File was only accessible through a link from IRS.gov.[7]
How to Avoid Being Victimized by Dark Patterns
In Dr. Bennett’s book Screen Time in the Mean Time she writes, “Due to screen technology, this generation of children are more marketed to than any other children in history. Why? Because there’s BIG money in child and teen products. If you can’t see the product, you are the product.” GetKidsInternetSafe courses help parents and kids be educated consumers.
Thanks to Andrew Weissmann for his research and help with writing this article.
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
Americans LOVE online browsing. YouTube is the second largest search engine, with 1.9 billion registered users watching 5 billion videos daily![1] As online discovery grows, so does child disconnection from real life. Sometimes, just watching a task get accomplished on video feels as good, if not better than doing the task itself. Numbing out online allows us to escape the hard work of trying and failing. It also replaces the opportunity for learning to cope with boredom. Online, one can escape the first twinge of anxiety with a click of the mouse. In real life, you must endure the moment and work it through. It’s no wonder so many of us choose the less threatening online version of reality over offline experiences.
Ways We Live Vicariously Online:
In Dr. Bennett’s book, Screen Time in the Mean Time, she agrees that discovery online and learning from how-to videos is a great benefit of technology. But she also believes that kids need “buckets of face-to-face interaction and three-dimensional play experiences to grow the neurological wiring necessary for skill mastery. Too much screen time takes the place of critical learning experiences.” Although watching a how-to video may spark curiosity and experimentation, it can also offer satisfaction without really working for it.[2]
Social Media & JOMO
Social media is one way people live vicariously online (in their imagination while watching others).[3] Each post is carefully staged. We pause the live moment until we get just the right shot. No messy reveals of the moment before when you were sweating to climb the cliff overlooking the sunset or annoyed with your companion for talking too much about politics. Only our best accomplishments are highlighted.
Even better, look at Tiffany with her handsome new boyfriend on the sailboat. We no longer have to worry about how she’s handling her eating disorder or that the trip maxed out her credit card. She’s happy! End of story. Honest real life is messy…and stressful. Who wants to deal with that?
Our brains can keep track of, at most, 150 friendships while maintaining a sense of a meaningful connection. This is called Dunbar’s number. A maximum number of meaningful connections is true for our offline as well as our online lives. Yes, we are acquainted with our 1,247 Instagram “friends.” But are we truly connected?
A recent GKIS article, The FOMO EFFECT: How Fun Friend Posts Can Lead to Clinical Anxiety, described how social media sparks fears of missing out (FOMO). However, Jason Fried, co-founder and president of 37signals, has coined the phrase joy of missing out (JOMO). JOMO is a trend in response to FOMO.[3] Challenging your kids to exercise JOMO may help them avoid the lure of too much vicarious living on social media platforms.
Television & Movies
We also use TV and movies to allow us to live vicariously through the characters on screen. Viewers can get so consumed that they associate the character’s achievements and growth with their own. With on-demand content, we can binge-watch a series, immersing ourselves in ways that can feel profound. It’s as if we are personally experiencing the characters, settings, and plots.
Studies have found that:
79% of viewers reported enjoying television more when they watched multiple episodes at a time.
Approximately 61% of Netflix users watch from 2-6 episodes in one sitting.
56% of binge-watchers prefer to binge alone.
On average, people watch at least 7 hours of television daily. That’s one hour short of a full-time day at work![4]
Negative Effects of Binge-Watching
You are 23% more likely to become obese and 14% more likely to develop diabetes from watching only 2 hours of TV every day.
Those who watch more TV are more likely to experience anxiety or depression.[4]
After the age of 25, you lose 22 minutes of life for every hour of television watched.[5]
Like a television-video game hybrid, programmers have picked up on these immersive phenomena, creating tv and movie series where you can impact the direction of the plot by choosing the decision you want the character to make next. This is called interactive TV.
Netflix recently experimented with it by allowing users to vote for one of five pre-recorded endings. Big tech and entertainment are betting that this will be the next mass medium with huge appeal.[6]
Gaming
Everyone knows someone who stays up all night gaming instead of getting the sleep their body desperately craves. In her book, Dr. Bennett cites peer-reviewed studies that demonstrate how immersive gaming floods dopamine into the pleasure center of the brain.
One doesn’t have to risk peril in real life; just strap on your weapons and save the world with your virtual character. Complete with novel landscapes, skilled partners, and novel rewards, the gaming life provides mastery and socialization that is almost effortless to achieve. Again, real-life struggles are so much more work. Gaming is so compelling, it leads to clinical addiction among some players, requiring professional detox and rehabilitation in inpatient hospitals.
YouTube
YouTube is the most popular social media platform used today. We have access to experts on everything … and nothing. By watching endless streams of videos, we can live vicariously through different genders, ages, and ethnicities.[7] Replacing real-life mastery of tasks, we watch the edited version that leaves out the messy failures endured before the perfection is captured and downloaded for our consumption.
It has been suggested that many people who view how-to videos gain such satisfaction, they choose not to attempt it in real life after all. That means that watching a how-to video squelches real-life practice of the skill. Rather than aiding you to complete the project, it replaces your desire to start.
Celebrity Worship Syndrome
Celebrities have managed to become the idols of many little girls and boys around the world. With society watching and reporting their every move our children come to believe this extravagant behavior is normal. In this way, we are raising a generation of vicarious livers. Children that would prefer to be cast for a reality television show than grow up to be the president.[8] Celebrity Worship Syndromeis when the individual becomes obsessed with the life of a celebrity.[9]
Travel
Why spend the money and endure the stress when you can enjoy the experience of traveling all over the world on Snapchat? WeTravel, a company that allows users to travel the world virtually, claims that it will temporarily satisfy your craving to travel by showcasing people’s travels around the world.[10]
Pornography
Watching online pornography can be a cheap replacement for intimacy acquired through romantic human relations. Too much use can decrease dating confidence.[11] Porn is a source of pleasure that will not turn them down, break their heart, make them feel incompetent, or worse, embarrassed.
From Competition to Inspiration
Mastery can only be achieved through anxious anticipation, mustering the courage to try, and multiple failures along the way. Each step in the journey strengthens emotional resilience, character, confidence, and competence. Missing out on real-life learning opportunities can lead to real emotional impairment. None of us want that for ourselves or for those we love.
One technique for altering one’s mindset when viewing photos of others’ accomplishments is replacing the competitive lens with one of inspiration.[12] Teaching your children to be inspired by others’ successes will help them steer clear of vicarious living. Ultimately, engaging and successfully mastering a skill provides you with much more satisfaction and self-efficacy than observing the successes of others.
How to Encourage Real-Life Mastery
Decide if what you wish you could do, is something you can do. By encouraging your child to dream with enthusiasm and encouragement, they’ll build the scaffolding of confidence that will lead to real effort.[13]
Commit to a specific end goal. Help your kids bridge the gap between dreaming and reality by encouraging them to identify a goal and start to research it!
Tackle it. By reminding your child that failure and poor results along the way are part of the learning, they can start to chunk the task into several benchmark goals. Remind them that mastery is only meaningful if you overcame the struggle to get there.
Encourage them to recognize their worth and importance. Ensuring your child that they don’t have to earn their worth is an important part of helping them build a healthy sense of self.[14]
Remind them to celebrate their achievements (and those of others) along the way. Celebrating benchmark goals will give them the joy of learning that drives follow-thru. Keeping a gratitude journal is a great way to spark celebration.
Demand an occasional disconnect. By following the guidelines and suggestions from our GKIS courses, you can create a lifestyle that carves creative space and time for real-life experiences. Dr. B’s weekly parenting and family coaching are quick lessons on how to tweak family living to increase screen safety and closer family relationships.
JOMO. Most important of all, teach your kids the many joys of missing out! Show them how to break free of the activities that social media says they should do. Instead, spend time doing truly satisfying tasks in real-time, in the real world.
Thank you to Sara Doyle, GKIS intern, for researching and writing this article. In the end, those who never give up on their goals will succeed as much as the talented.
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
[1] http://www.businessofapps.com/data/youtube-statistics/
[2] NPR. “Hidden Brain. Close Enough: The Lure Of Living Through Others.” Shankar Vedantam, Laura Kwerel, Tara Boyle, and Jennifer Schmidt, 2019.
[3] SoundCloud. “Living Vicariously Through Social Media…” Phil Svitek.
[4] CogniFit. “Binge watching: Complete guide to its effects on the brain and body.” Anna Bohren, 2018.
[5] Personal Excellence. “Are You Living Vicariously Through Movie, Drama, or Game Characters?” Celestine Chua.
[6] https://www.latimes.com/business/hollywood/la-fi-ct-netflix-black-mirror-20181228-story.html
[7] “I’m Living Vicariously Through YouTubers” Lily Brundin, 2016.
[8] HuffPost. “Americans Have An Unhealthy Obsession With Celebrities.” Jo Plazza, 2012.
[9] Psychology Today. “Celebrity Worship Syndrome.” Mark D. Griffiths Ph.D., 2013.
[10] “Traveling Vicariously Through Snapchat.” Azzura Ricci.
[11] “Is Living Vicariously Through Others Dangerous?” Nicola Kirkpatrick, 2018.
[12] Riskology. “Are You Living, or Living Vicariously?” Tyler Tervooren, 2019.
[13] Nerd Fitness. “How to Live Vicariously Through Yourself.” n.
[14] Lifehack. “3 Ways to Stop Living Vicariously Through Technology.” Derek Ralsto
We’ve all been there. Stuck at work, school, or home. We pick up our phones and click on Instagram. There’s BFF Julie on her amazing trip to Japan – 150 likes in 42 minutes. Then check out Twitter. There’s co-worker Andrew’s fun video of an amazing concert at the coolest venue in town. His text post fetched 27 comments. “Wow! That looks so fun!” “I’m so glad I ran into you last night!” “Did you get the pictures I sent you?” You put your phone down and instantly get hit with a wave of sadness. Everybody seems to be having more fun than you. Are you going about life all wrong?
FOMO
FOMO or “fear of missing out” is a form of social anxiety in response to seeing activities streamed on social media. These feelings can blossom into immediate disappointment or long-term feelings of inadequacy. You know you should be happy. You’re ashamed of it. But still … people who experience FOMO the most tend to be extremely active on social media sites like Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook.[1]
Who suffers from FOMO?
Although FOMO adversely affects all ages, recent studies conclude that FOMO is most common among teens. Nearly 60% of teenagers experience anxiety when they become aware of plans being made without them or can’t get ahold of their friends. Another 63% are upset when they have to cancel plans with friends.[2] Among the other age groups, an overwhelming 61% of subjects aged 18-34 state they have more than one social media account, while 27% state they check their Facebook feeds immediately upon awakening.[3]
FOMO Risks
Compulsive social media checking that gets in the way of everyday activities and leads to texting and driving, like “snap and drive” which is careless driving while Snapchatting.
The inability to prioritize important responsibilities over fun social media posting.
Posting shocking activities like binge drinking and drug use.
Spending lots of money to post expensive designer items.[4]
The constant need to feed is a surefire way to develop feelings of inadequacy and anxiety. FOMO makes us feel lonelier, inferior, and less successful.[5]
Reducing FOMO Anxiety
Get real.
A fun post here and there is not reflective of the “perfect” life. Everybody hurts sometimes, even the pretty ones.
Cop to it.
Once you admit to it, it’s easier to control it and create a plan of action to work through it.[6]
Be in the present.
Practice mindfulness techniques like anchoring – attending to your current surroundings, what you see, feel, hear, smell, and your breathing.[7]
Recommit to your nonvirtual life.
Pet that dog you always see on your way to school or work. Stop and smell the flowers. Read a book in the park. Give yourself ample time to finally finish that term paper or work project. Commit to doing one of those today, right now!
Temporarily detox.
If momentary disconnection is a struggle, delete apps off your phone and use psychological wellness app support. Cool detox apps include Moment, Flipd, and Forest. Detox apps offer fun and clever incentives to get off your phone. For instance, Forest incites you to not open social media by illustrating breaks with forest growth and how large and lush and large you can grow your forest.[8]
Seek counseling.
If all else fails, talk it out. Since FOMO is seen as a cognitive distortion, cognitive behavioral therapy has been shown to be highly effective by offering thought-reconstructing tools. In other words, identifying stinking thinking and replacing it with can-do thinking can greatly improve mood and feelings of well-being.[9] Fewer social media posts may mean a fulfilling life is being lived off-camera rather than no life happening at all.
Thank you to Tammy Castaneda for contributing to this GKIS article. Fomo is becoming an increasing problem for kids and adolescents. If your child is still in elementary school, hold off until middle school before you allow their first social media app. If your teen showing problematic behavior, take action. To prevent clinical symptoms related to screen use, check out our GKIS Connected Family Online Course. In 10 easy steps, you can learn how to encourage healthy screen habits and a happier household.
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
My niece is five years old and lives in a tiny village in Switzerland. You would think that in a cute Alpine village the world is still safe, that kids are playing outside until it gets dark, craft themselves little walkie-talkies from strings and cans, and don’t have any interest in online media. But you would be wrong. Smartphones and tablets and the vast possibilities of online entertainment are all the rage everywhere. With her little eyes fixed on the screen, my niece stays online for hours.
Generation X, Y, Z…and now: Alpha!
Futurist, demographer and TEDx speaker Mark McCrindle distinguished a new cohort of anyone born after 2010. He calls it Generation Alpha. The main characteristic of Generation Alpha is the constant use of screen technology. In his opinion, Alpha kids grow up with screens in hand, able to transfer a thought online in seconds (Sterbenz, 2014). Shocking numbers provide evidence of McCrindle’s observations, with kids from five to 16 years spending an average of 6 1/2 hours a day in front of a screen (Wakefield, 2015). Teenage boys have an even higher average of 8 hours a day (Wakefield, 2015).
Why do children spend so much time online?
Every time I visit my sister, I’m fascinated by how her daughter is able to use a smartphone or tablet at such a fast pace. It’s almost impossible for me to get her attention and convince her that drawing with her aunt can be more fun than styling dolls on her tablet. A reward for her for doing a chore could either be chocolate or smartphone-time. Guess what her choice usually is? And it’s not just my niece that prefers YouTube over Oreos, Disney, and Crayola. In Smarty Pants’ eighth annual Brands Love study with 8,125 kids, YouTube was chosen as the most loved brand for kids aged 6-12 (2016). Number one over 2,285 consumer brands!
Why do kids love screentime? Because browsing for quick, yummy screen content really fun. Interacting with friends, playing games, watching videos or movies, and sharing information and experiences are just a few examples of amusing online activities.
Another major contributor to screen addiction is FOMO (fear of missing out) and peer pressure. It’s hard to pass up online engagement when friends are sharing funny snapshots and their latest filtered selfies. You MUST join in or get left behind. Peer acceptance and forming an identity independent of your parents is just too tempting to turn away from.
Jim and Sandra
Jim is 11 years old and has always been a very shy child. He has an immense fear of meeting new people and feels uncomfortable around others. He is always worried about judgement from others, and when someone is rejecting him, he thinks it’s because he made a mistake and that he is unlikable.
Sandra is 10 years old and is a great soccer player. When she wins, she attributes it to factors outside herself, like the poor skills of the other team or luck. She doesn’t believe that she could be a contributor to her team’s success. Her psychologist recognizes that Sandra attributes success to an external locus of control, which means that she looks at everything around her as part of success or failure rather than herself.
Do you think that Jim and Sandra are at high risk for screen addiction?
Predisposing traits for screen addiction
Researchers have found that several personality traits serve as a predisposition for a child becoming an Internet addict. The more shy and the less faith a child has in his or her control over life, the higher the tendency of being addicted to the Internet (Chak & Leung, 2004).
For shy children online communication and interaction with others is less directly linked to judgments and possible disapproval than it would be in the offline world. That means Jim may be more comfortable and suffer less anxiety from online interactions. Although, that doesn’t mean all shy children will become addicted. But it does mean that parents may benefit from knowing shyness is a risk factor.
This study also suggests that kids like Sandra may be less successful at controlling Internet use and tend to offer external explanations why they stayed online for so long rather than take direct accountability (Chak & Leung, 2004).
When Internet use goes from innocent fun to addiction
Internet Addiction was first defined in 1995 by Young as a use of the Internet for more than 38 hours per week which will lead to clinically significant impairment or distress (Flisher, 2010). However, by these criteria most of America would be considered addicted. Today, experts detail several criteria that must be met in order for a person to be considered “addicted.”
Criteria for clinical addiction include four main features:
Loss of control
Your child can’t disengage from the Internet even with the understanding that he or she is spending too much time.
Tolerance
Your child needs more and more time to get the same “fix” from their screen use. Once 15 minutes would do, but now your child feels vaguely dissatisfied and chases more and more screen time.
Withdrawal
When your child has to turn her screen off, she demonstrates classical withdrawal symptoms such as restlessness, nervousness, dissatisfaction, irritation, aggressiveness and psychological craving. Dr. Bennett further theorizes that screen-off meltdowns are the result of too much autonomic arousal. This means your child’s brain is overstimulated and tantrums are like coming down off crack rather than trying to express distress or manipulate parent behavior.
Negative social consequences/impairment
Screen time becomes the sole focus of your child’s life. It’s all he/she wants to do, it’s all he/she wants to talk about. It has replaced nonvirtual relationships and activities needed for healthy balance.
Thank you to CSUCI intern Lisa Sommer for this GKIS article. Are you worried that your kids may be demonstrating symptoms of screen addiction? Wondering when and how to seek help? Check out Lisa’s next article, “Child Screen Addiction From Asia to America: Do We Need a Shut-Down Law?” for answers!
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
Chak, K. & Leung, L. (2004). Shyness and Locus of Control as Predictors of Internet Addiction and Internet Use. Cyber Psychology & Behavior, Volume 7, Number 5
Flisher, C. (2010). Getting plugged in: An overview of Internet addiction. Journal of Paediatrics and Child Health 46, p. 557–559
