Before the internet, “going viral” was not something positive much less something people actively sought out. “Going viral” has become a new age epidemic, with people doing whatever they can for their 60 seconds of fame. But what does “going viral” actually mean, and how does it affect our brains and our self-esteem? Today’s GKIS article will break down “going viral” and its effects. For help raising your child to be digitally smart, check out our GKIS Screen Safety Essentials Course. This course includes all GKIS parenting courses, agreements, and supplements, ensuring you are well-equipped to fight off digital injury and keep your child safe from harm.
What does it mean to “go viral”?
Going viral means sharing something via social media that spreads quickly to thousands, even millions of people. The term viral video was first used in 2009 to describe the video “David After Dentist.”[1]
One viral video or post can turn people into internet celebrities overnight and garner thousands of followers, resulting in brand deals and monetized content. Once a video goes viral, there is no limit to the number of people it will reach or even what platform they will see the video on. It is very common to see posts shared from one platform to the next, whether it be a TikTok on Twitter or a Tweet going viral on Instagram.
The number of views to be considered going viral also varies from platform to platform. One hundred thousand views on TikTok is pretty successful, whereas even a couple hundred thousand views on YouTube is a relatively low number.[2]
The number of likes is also an important factor. Many videos have a high number of views but a relatively low number of likes. These videos are not considered to be going viral because they are not well-received by the general public.[2] Engagement drives up the virality of the content through shares and comments that stimulate the algorithm to continue placing that content on people’s feeds.[2] Another important factor in going viral is the immediacy of response, meaning that the views, likes, and comments must be received within a few hours to days rather than over several months or years.[2]
How does “going viral” affect our brains?
When your video, post, or other content “goes viral,” you receive likes, comments, reposts, shares, and bookmarks. These response notifications prompt the reward systems in our brains.[3] Many fast notifications results in dopamine release. To keep that feel-good feeling going, we keep checking, acting in a way similar to gambling addictions.[3]
Algorithms also take advantage of a variable-reward system because they are programmed to recognize when to take advantage of our reward system and desire for dopamine.[3] This often results in a stockpile of notifications that get delayed until a good amount of time since the last check has passed or a large amount of engagement has accumulated.
For a personal insight into going viral, I interviewed a college student who had recently experienced the sensation of going viral. They said, “I recently had a video go viral on TikTok. It was a video of the Indie-Rock band Boygenius and one of their members, singer Phoebe Bridgers, singing a verse from their song ‘Cool About It.’ I had taken the video at a concert I had recently attended and decided to post it on TikTok since I was lucky enough to be pretty close to the stage. Over the next few days after I posted it, it got 118k views, 32k likes, and 500 comments, and was saved by more than 4000 people. Once it started picking up traction, I became obsessed with checking my notifications and seeing all the new comments. I would constantly look to see how many views I was at each hour. I even got a like from a TikTok creator who I really enjoy so that was very exciting for me.”
Although going viral is thrilling, notifications can be harmful when they are overly distracting.[4] To compensate for smartphone interruptions, studies have shown that people often work faster, resulting in more stress, frustration, time pressure, and effort.[4] Research has linked daily notifications and their interruptions to depression, anxiety, and even symptoms associated with ADHD.[5]
Our interview also revealed that the euphoria of going viral is short-lived and needs constant “re-upping.” Our subject elaborated, “Once the video started to die down though, I got annoyed by the notifications. They were distracting because they were so far and few in-between and nothing quite as exciting as the start. I got kinda sad that my viral moment was dying down. It made me want to post another video to see if it would get the same kind of attention.”
What does “going viral” do to our self-esteem?
Studies have shown that social media can be both detrimental to our self-esteem and boost it at the same time, but how does going viral change that?
Social media usage can add stress to daily life and encourage people to constantly evaluate and compare themselves to others.[6] When someone goes viral, they open themselves up to being judged by thousands of people, some of whom can be cruel, feeling emboldened by the veil of anonymity. While many would agree that the likes and views one receives on a viral post boosts their self-esteem and makes one feel good about themselves, it also allows for internet trolls to make their way into the comment section to bait others into an argument or provoke an emotional reaction.[7]
One-in-five internet users that have been victims of harassment online reported that it happened in the comment section of a website.[8] Reading negative comments can lessen confidence, reduce self-esteem, and depending on the severity, can even provoke suicidal thoughts.[9]
Our GKIS interviewee unfortunately also had experience with the negative side of going viral. They reported, “Before my video went super viral, I had posted another video that didn’t get as many views but still got a couple thousand views, a few hundred likes, and a good amount of comments. The video was clips of my girlfriend and me in celebration of our second anniversary. For the most part, the comments were really nice, with people calling us cute and being supportive. But after a little while of it being up, it got to the wrong side of TikTok. As a queer couple, we’re used to people being rude or staring at us, but to get negative comments just hurt more for some reason. This was a few months ago, but I still think about the comments from time to time. It honestly made me want to delete the whole video even though it was just a few comments out of a bunch of nice ones.”
How Parents Can Help
Understand that what you and your child post has the potential to go viral, even if you don’t want it to.
Set the privacy settings on posts to control who gets to see the content you share.
Prevent a digital injury to your child’s self-esteem before it occurs with our GKIS Screen Safety Toolkit for parents of kids of all ages.
To help facilitate difficult conversations about online content and who should see it, try out our free GKIS Connected Family Screen Agreement.
Almost everyone has experienced a zombie-like feeling after a night of poor-quality sleep. Research shows that a single night of sleep deprivation can have a negative result on cognition and behavior.[1]Sleep deprivation for children can be particularly costly. Good quality sleep helps children with healthy brain development. That is why Dr. Bennett includes a whole lesson on how to protect your child’s sleep in her Connected Family Online Course. By following research-backed guidelines, setting sensible rules, and setting up your house to optimize learning and safety, your family can avoid costly digital injuries. If you are interested in learning about how to create a safe screen environment at home while discovering ways to promote open and honest communication within your family then check out our GKIS Screen Safety Essentials Course. In today’s GKIS article, you’ll discover how a child’s learning can be negatively affected by lack of sleep and how to avoid it.
How does lack of sleep impact a child’s learning?
Attention and Concentration
A child needs an average of 9 to 11 hours of sleep each night for optimal health and learning performance.[2]Poor sleep affects the functional connectivity of the prefrontal cortex. This means that a sleepy child will experience problems in their ability to focus and sustain attention in a learning environment. Further, a 2009 study demonstrated that sleep may cause the child to become overly sensitized to reward stimuli.[3] An overly sensitized person craves rewards so much that if they can’t get the desired activity immediately, they may resort to acting out and tantrums. To understand more about this process, check out Dr. B’s whiteboard video GetKidsInternetSafe from Sensory Overload on the Dr. Tracy Bennett YouTube Channel.
Memory
Mental lapse refers to a moment of unexplained forgetting, like walking into a room and forgetting what you came in for. A sleepless night slows down brain cell activity, sometimes resulting in impairing daytime mental lapses. A 2017 UCLA study demonstrated that lack of sleep disrupts the brain cells’ ability to communicate with one another, resulting in a mental lapse that negatively affects the way we perceive and react to things around us.[4]
Learning and Information Processing
In Dr. Bennett’s book Screen Time in the Mean Time, she explains that when we don’t get enough sleep our brain’s housekeeping and memory consolidation tasks remain undone, leaving us unable to efficiently acquire or retrieve information. Without good focus, attention, and memory, kids are unable to process information and understand and learn new concepts.
Creativity
Sleep deprivation can also limit planning, creativity, and the ability to think outside of the box. According to a study from the University of Loughborough, sleep deprivation can negatively impact a person’s creativity by impairing one’s ability to create new ideas and change strategies.[5]
How does a lack of sleep impact mood and behavior?
Sleepy Throughout the Day
If your child chronically gets insufficient sleep at night, their body may compensate by falling into a pattern of daytime hypersomnia. This is a condition when someone repeatedly is falling asleep throughout the day.[6]
Mood Swings
Lack of sleep can be a main contributing factor in mood swings.[7] Moodiness and irritability can negatively affect relationships, leading to deeper problems and feelings of hopelessness. If sleep deprivation is habitual, it can contribute to clinical conditions like anxiety, depression, and even psychosis!
Decision-Making
Little to no sleep can also affect how well we make decisions.[8] That means that kids who have sleep deprivation will have a difficult time prioritizing tasks like when to brush their teeth or do homework. If your child seems to get stuck on even the smallest of choices, consider if sleep may be the issue.
How can lack of sleep affect learning in children of different ages?
Teenagers tend to have more sleepless nights than younger children. Not only do parents allow later bedtimes for teens, but they also stay up chatting with friends and playing video games. Without the right amount of sleep, teens have more trouble focusing and learning in class compared to younger children. According to the CDC Healthy Schools, teens ages 13-18 need 8-10 hours of sleep.[9]
How can parents help their children get better sleep and improve their learning?
Did you know that our activities change how our brains grow? And the way our brains work determines what activities we like to do. In other words, our brain wiring changes over time, and those changes lead us to prefer some tasks over others. These days, we spend more time on our screens than we do outside or face-to-face with other people. That means our brains are wired to function best in the virtual world. Because screens are a relatively new phenomenon in the scope of human history, we don’t know what the long-term outcome of screen use will be on our brains. Child and teen brains are especially vulnerable to rewiring issues because they are already in a massive state of change. Will this information change the way you use your screens?
Brains!
Neurons & Superhighways
Our brains are made up of millions of brain cells, called neurons. Neurons communicate with each other and help us think, move, and even breathe! Neurons are necessary for us to live. The healthier our brains are, the better our lives are.
As we age, our brains are constantly remodeling. At first, our brains use many neurons to complete one task. But with practice, our neurons form superhighways for the most efficient thinking. As we age, fewer neurons can get the same task done that used to take far more neurons. The more primitive pathways that get replaced prune away while the superhighways develop.
Our brain is its biggest when we are 10 years old! Then our gray matter (the brain tissue packed with neurons) decreases from there. At certain ages, some parts of our brain remodel more than others based on the types of learning that we are doing. For example, babies and toddlers are remodeling the brain areas responsible for attaching to others and learning a language. Teen brains are remodeling the brain areas responsible for creating abstract ideas and connecting with their peers.
Brain Thinning from Excessive Screen Use
To build healthy brains, we must take good care of ourselves and get good sleep, nutrition, and exercise. We also need to do a lot of balanced learning off-screen, not just on-screen. Doing different types of learning will build a more capable, healthier brain.
Doing only one type of learning over and over for many hours a day will build a less capable brain than learning a variety of things. In fact, studies are showing that kids who use screens seven hours a day, versus kids who do not, show thinning in many parts of the brain and lower scores on thinking and language tests.[i][ii][iii][iv] The way their brains process information is also negatively affected.[v]
Is multitasking healthy for our brains?
Many of us spend much of our day multitasking, which means going back and forth between different screen tasks and in-real-life tasks. We are doing many (multiple) tasks at the same time – going back and forth between a primary task and an interrupting task. We love to be connected to our screen devices when we are doing in-real-life things like checking our social media during homework or watching a video while at a restaurant. Most of the time that’s fun and works great. But other times our screen devices can reduce the quality of our work.
Many people think that when they are multitasking, their brains can work on everything at the same time as if the brain has a huge mental pipeline where different things flow in and out at once. But the brain can’t do many things at the same time. Instead, we have a single mental pipeline that is built to do only one thing at a time.
When you are multitasking, you end up quickly going back and forth between those tasks rather than doing them at the same time. We call that toggling back and forth. Those activities must take turns using the same brain area. Competition between the same cognitive resources can decrease our energy, happiness, and learning performance.
But it’s not so simple to say that interrupting one task with another is always a problem. Sometimes there are learning benefits to using screens during real-life activities. The challenge is figuring out what screen activities help get the task done and which are distracting us and wearing us out.
Do younger people outsource to their screens better than older people?
Young people who grew up with screens tend to multitask more often and better than older people who did not grow up with screens. With early life practice, they have learned the mental flexibility of digital learning. Screen natives learn differently than screen immigrants.
For example, younger people are better than older people at multitasking.[vi] Using our screens for things like memory, increased access to information, mapping, performing calculations, and creating is called outsourcing. Outsourcing to screens means less need for memory or spatial skills and less cognitive effort.
Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Well, the answer is complicated. Some types of limited multitasking are healthy for learning. Other types are not so much. Furthermore, we cannot trust our judgment. Though people insist they get more done, better, and faster when multitasking, they are most often wrong.[vii] Multitaskers don’t recognize that juggling tasks cost us more time and results in worse performance, kind of like a drunk driver saying he drives better while under the influence.
The Costs of Multitasking
Performance Decline
Results are consistent across studies that multitasking results in a small but significant decrease in test scores (4-5% decrease). Larger interruptions cause even larger decreases.[xiii][xiv] Perhaps a 5% decline doesn’t seem like much, but it is half a letter grade.
If two tasks require different cognitive resources, like walking and talking, then the performance decline is smaller. If tasks require similar cognitive resources, like talking and texting, which both require language centers, then the deficits are larger.[xv]
In the long term, multitasking (with social media and instant messaging for example) can lead to lower grades and poorer cognitive performance overall, especially in the areas of working memory and attention.[xvi][xvii] Multitaskers tend to have poorer memories because they are getting less memorizing practice.
Time Cost & the Google Effect
Multitasking also costs us extra time. When people are interrupted, it takes an average of 23 minutes, 15 seconds to return to work, often getting distracted by two or more tasks after the interruption.[xi]
When we use the Internet, we are also less likely to remember something we’ve learned if we know it’s published online, a dynamic now called the Google effect.[xii] It’s as if we quit thinking or taking responsibility for learning because we expect our smartphones to have it handled. Why bother to take the effort to remember the date if a press of a button will get the job done?
Brain Drain & Anxiety
Another cost of multitasking with our screens is brain drain. Research has shown that toggling between mental tasks burns the brain’s fuel, oxygenated glucose, at a rate faster than concentrating on a single task.[xx]We think we are saving time and energy by fracturing our attention, but we are actually draining the very energy necessary to do the work and taking more time to do it!
Our screens drain us in other ways too. A 2015 study found that smartphone notifications hijack attention and distract us by launching distracting thoughts whether we’ve checked notifications or not.[viii] Furthermore, when smartphone users are unable to answer a notification, their pulse and blood pressure increase, they feel anxious, and their problem-solving skills decline.[ix] The more attached we are to our phones and the closer they are to us, the more distracted and stressed we are.[x]
Brain overload from multitasking can take a toll on mental health. Factors that make us most vulnerable to rapidly switching tasks are anxious and impulsive personality traits, stress, and too little sleep.[xxi]Without downtime, mental stress and fatigue can lead to poorer learning, irritability, and mood and anxiety disorders, especially for teens.[xxii]
Homework & Multitasking
Kids argue, and rightfully so, that it is impossible to do homework without multitasking on- and offscreen. As they get older, school tasks require the student to look up information for research, communicate with other group members, and track progress across multiple platforms.
Here are some research findings that can help you make better choices while doing schoolwork.
Watching TV or videos while doing schoolwork interferes with performance.
Watching TV and doing homework are both demanding tasks that compete for the same brain areas. Research studies have demonstrated that watching television, or even just having it on in the background, impairs reading performance, [xxiii] memory of homework facts, [xxiv] and even your memory of what you’ve watched on TV. [xxv
How about music and homework?
It was once widely believed that listening to classical music makes you smarter, known as The Mozart Effect. However, this theory has largely been proven to be untrue.
Studying in a quiet environment results in better homework performance than studying with music.[xxvi] Kids tend to think they do better while listening to the music they like and worse while listening to music they don’t like. But performance is poorer in either condition.[xxvii]
However, music does have a positive role in learning if you listen to music you like before homework or during breaks due to a bump in arousal and mood (called the Stephen King Effect).
Is using a laptop during the lecture OK?
College students who do not use any type of technology during class time tend to outperform those students who do use screen technology during the lecture.[xxviii] Researchers explained the results in terms of a bottleneck in attention. Meaning that more goes into the brain than it can handle, so it must slow down to catch up. Using a smartphone decreases a student’s ability to remember lecture information.[xxix] Moreover, laptop use during lectures not only distracts the user but also distracts the student’s neighbors.[xxx]
Supertaskers & Neuroplasticity
Pumping yourself up to learn before homework and relaxing during breaks is a good thing. But distracting yourself during homework with anything that may compete for the same brain resources is a bad thing. But there are exceptions to this rule.
Approximately 2% of the population, called supertaskers, defy statistics and demonstrate an extraordinary ability to screen out distractors when multitasking. It’s as if they have super-enhanced brain skills called synaptic plasticity.[xxxi]
Supertaskers can maintain these exceptional abilities by practicing excellent brain health habits, like good organization and time management, and refueling with emotional and cognitive control strategies that are screen-free like mindfulness, imagery, and meditation.
The Work-Home Boundary
It’s not just kids and teens that are impacted by screen time. Parents also have problems getting off their screens.
Studies have found that the boundaries between work and home have blurred. Overall, our work and school days span more hours and our jobs have become more demanding. This has led to more stress and dissatisfaction and less connection to the things that are meaningful to us.[xviii] We have trained ourselves to self-interrupt, leading to worsened task prioritization and poorer sustained attention overall.[xix]
How can we overcome the depleting effects of multitasking and screen time?
Taking YouTube breaks is not the answer.
Try these things instead:
Focus on one task at a time.
Do your work first, then enjoy fun content as your reward for a job well done.
Batch notifications (turn off notifications, then save them up and go through them all at once every few hours instead of constantly checking).
Take frequent screen-free brain breaks. Don’t go on the screen because you will lose track of time and stay distracted. Instead, let your mind wander or stare off for fifteen minutes every couple of hours.
Sprinkle in brain-healthy activities throughout your day, like yoga, group hikes, and nutritious snack times.
[ii] Kim, S., Baik, S., Park, C., Kim, S., Choi, S. & Kim, S. (2011). Reduced Striatal Dopamine D2 Receptors in People with Internet Addiction. NeuroReport 22.8: 407-11. Web.
[iii] Koepp, M., Gunn, R., Lawrence, A., Cunningham, V., Dagher, A., Jones, T., Brooks, D., Bench, C., & Grasby, P. (1998). Evidence for striatal dopamine release during a video game. Nature 393: 266-268.
[iv] Kühn, S., Romanowski, A., Schilling, C., Lorenz, R., Mörsen, C., Seiferth, N., & Banaschewski, T. (2011). The Neural Basis of Video Gaming. Translational Psychiatry 1: e53.
[v] Dong, G. Hu, Y., & Lin, X. (2013). Reward/punishment sensitivities among internet addicts: Implications for their addictive behaviors. Progress in Neuro-Psychopharmacology & Biological Psychiatry, 46, 139–145.
[vi] Ie, A., Haller, C., Langer, E., & Courvoisier, D. (2012). “Mindful Multitasking: The Relationship between Mindful Flexibility and Media Multitasking.” Computers in Human Behavior 28.4: 1526-532. Web.
[vii] Finley, J., Benjamin, A., & McCarley, J., (2014). “Metacognition of Multitasking: How Well Do We Predict the Costs of Divided Attention?” Journal of Experimental Psychology: Applied, 20.2: 158-65. Web.
[viii] Ward, A., Duke, K., Gneezy, A., & Bos, M. (2017). “Brain Drain: The Mere Presence of Oneâs Own Smartphone Reduces Available Cognitive Capacity.” Journal of the Association for Consumer Research 2.2: 140-54. Web.
[ix] Clayton, R. (2015). “The Extended ISelf: The Impact of IPhone Separation on Cognition, Emotion, & Physiology.” Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication, vol. 20(2), pp. 119–135., doi:10.1111/jcc4.12109.
[x] Ward, A., Duke, K., Gneezy, A., & Bos, M. (2017). “Brain Drain: The Mere Presence of Oneâs Own Smartphone Reduces Available Cognitive Capacity.” Journal of the Association for Consumer Research 2.2: 140-54. Web.
[xi] Sano, A. (20160. “Neurotics Can’t Focus: An in Situ Study of Online Multitasking in the Workplace – MIT Media Lab.” MIT Media Lab, www.media.mit.edu/publications/neurotics-cant-focus-an-in-situ-study-of-online-multitasking-in-the-workplace/.
[xii] Sparrow, B., et al. (2011). “Google Effects on Memory: Cognitive Consequences of Having Information at Our Fingertips.” Science, vol. 333, no. 6043, pp. 776–778., doi:10.1126/science.1207745.
[xiii] Conard, M., & Marsh, R., (2013). “Interest Level Improves Learning but Does Not Moderate the Effects of Interruptions: An Experiment Using Simultaneous Multitasking.” Learning and Individual Differences: n. pag. Web.
[xiv] Wood, E., Zivcakova, L., Gentile, P., Archer, K., De Pasquale, D., & Nosko, A. (2012). “Examining the Impact of Off-task Multi-tasking with Technology on Real-time Classroom Learning.” Computers & Education 58.1: 365-74. Web.
[xv] Conard, M., & Marsh, R., (2013). “Interest Level Improves Learning but Does Not Moderate the Effects of Interruptions: An Experiment Using Simultaneous Multitasking.” Learning and Individual Differences: n. pag. Web.
[xvi] Fein, S., Jones, S., & Gerow, J. (2013). “When It Comes to Facebook There May Be More to Bad Memory than Just Multitasking.” Computers in Human Behavior 29.6: 2179-182. Web.
[xvii] Fox, A., Rosen, J., & Crawford, M. (2009). “Distractions, Distractions: Does Instant Messaging Affect College Students’ Performance on a Concurrent Reading Comprehension Task?” CyberPsychology & Behavior, 12(1): 51-53.https://doi.org/10.1089/cpb.2008.0107
[xviii] Gregoire, C. (2016). “The American Workplace Is Broken. Here’s How We Can Start Fixing It.” The Huffington Post, TheHuffingtonPost.com, 22 Nov. 2016, www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/american-workplace-broken-stress_us_566b3152e4b011b83a6b42bd.
[xix] Sano, A. (2016). “Email Duration Batching and Self-Interruption: Patterns of Email Use on Productivity and Stress – MIT Media Lab.” MIT Media Lab, 17 May 2016, www.media.mit.edu/publications/email-duration-batching-and-self-interruption-patterns-of-email-use-on-productivity-and-stress/.
[xx] Sridharan, D., et al. (2008). “A Critical Role for the Right Fronto-Insular Cortex in Switching between Central-Executive and Default-Mode Networks.” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, vol. 105, no. 34, pp. 12569–12574., doi:10.1073/pnas.0800005105.
[xxii] Becker, M., Alzahabi, R., & Hopwood, C., (2013). “Media Multitasking Is Associated with Symptoms of Depression and Social Anxiety.” Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking 16.2: 132-35. Web.
[xxiii] Lin, L., Robertson, T., & Lee, J. (2009). “Reading Performances Between Novices and Experts in Different Media Multitasking Environments.” Computers in the Schools 26.3: 169-86. Web.
[xxiv] Armstrong, G. Blake, & Chung, L. (2000). “Background Television and Reading Memory in Context: Assessing TV Interference and Facilitative Context Effects on Encoding Versus Retrieval Processes.” Communication Research 27: 327–352.
[xxv] Zhang, W., Jeong, S., & Fishbein, M. (2010). “Situational Factors Competing For Attention: The Interaction Effect of Multitasking and Sexually Explicit Content on TV Recognition.” Journal of Media Psychology 22: 2–13. Web.
[xxvi] Furnham, A., & Bradley, A. (1997). “Music While You Work: The Differential Distraction of Background Music on the Cognitive Test Performance of Introverts and Extraverts.” Applied Cognitive Psychology 11.5: 445-55. Web.
[xxvii] Perham, N., & Vizard, J. (2011), Can preference for background music mediate the irrelevant sound effect? Appl. Cognit. Psychol., 25: 625–631. doi:10.1002/acp.1731
[xxviii] Hembrooke, H., & Gay, G. (2003). “The Laptop and the Lecture: The Effects of Multitasking in Learning Environments.” Journal of Computing in Higher Education 15.1: 46-64. Web.
[xxix] Wood, E., Zivcakova, L, Gentile, P., Archer, K., De Pasquale, D., & Nosko, A. (2012). “Examining the Impact of Off-task Multi-tasking with Technology on Real-time Classroom Learning.” Computers & Education 58.1: 365-74. Web.
[xxx] Sana, F., Weston, T., & Cepeda, N. (2013). “Laptop Multitasking Hinders Classroom Learning for Both Users and Nearby Peers.” Computers & Education 62: 24-31. Web.
[xxxi] Watson, J., & Strayer, D. (2010). “Supertaskers: Profiles in Extraordinary Multitasking Ability.” Psychonomic Bulletin & Review 17.4: 479-85. Web.
The developmental phase of 12-18 years old marks the progression from forming attachment to family to a new focus on peer relationships, experimentation, personal autonomy, and self-exploration and expression. Traditionally adolescence has been viewed as a turbulent time. However, now it is widely recognized that most teens weather this developmental phase without significant problems. The challenge for parents is to alter parenting strategies from stringent management to persuasion and negotiation, all without losing your sanity. These challenges typically result in a more complex pattern of conflict than before. But speaking as a mom of teens, their clever wit and boundless scheming can be really fun and keeps one on her toes. Their independence even allows parents some personal time. They are growing up quickly and will be launching soon enough. Soak it in!
Brain Development
During adolescence, teens demonstrate a two to three year growth spurt that rivals the one that occurred during infancy. Boys may grow as much as 9 inches taller and girls as much as 7 inches taller, reaching on average 98 percent of their adult height (Tanner, 1978). Not only are teens taller, but they also develop secondary sexual characteristics like breasts and hips for the girls and more musculature with wider shoulders for the boys.
Temporal lobe cortical gray matter peaks at 16.7 years in girls and 16.2 years in boys (Lenroot, 2006).
During adolescence, we see another surge in synaptic pruning. This process involves the retraction of the neuron from the synapse (the space between connected neurons). By late adolescence nearly half of synapses that were not used or damaged are eliminated, which is believed to make brain functioning more efficient (Chechik, 2004). With fewer unnecessary wiring tangles, brain circuitry is regulated and childhood structures are replaced with the complex fibers necessary for adulthood. The major aspects of experience-dependent brain remodeling, with its use it or lose it process, is now largely complete resulting in more refined cognitive and emotional capacities. By twenty years old, the cortex begins to decrease in area, which continues through adulthood (Brown, 2012).
The synaptic pruning spike of adolescence seems to reveal genetically or experientally vulnerable circuits that may be related to the onset of psychiatric disorders and addiction. Late adolescence and early adulthood is the developmental period when most chronic mental illnesses, like schizophrenia and mood and anxiety disorders, first emerge. It is also a time when we seek and are particularly sensitive to stress and novel experiences. It is hypothesized that stress (and drug use) may alter grey matter pruning in a pattern that contributes to the emergence of severe mental illness like schizophrenia. Furthermore, some teens will move from drug experimentation to the launch of life-long addiction patterns.
Impulsivity and high emotionality is particularly obvious during this time, partly due to the fact that the prefrontal region (the seat of problem solving and judgment) and the limbic system (responsible for emotional self regulation) are the last brain areas to mature.
The spikes of hormones characteristic of adolescence affect the raphe nucleus (the area responsible for arousal and mood), typically resetting sleep-wake cycles. As a result, we see teens wanting to live more like vampires…staying awake late into the night and sleeping in late into the morning.
Just as the brain is pruning, we also see continued myelination (the laying down of fatty sheaths that insulate the neuron and allow it to work with more coordination and speed). The corpus callosum (which connects the left and right hemispheres of the brain) is largely made up of this white matter.
Brain functioning from childhood and adolescence move us from critical windows ripe for open learning potential to skill specialization. With more sophisticated neurological integration, teens start to demonstrate higher order thinking ability characterized by better emotional stabilization, abstract thinking, and increased capacity for insight and planning. It is with these new abilities that they aggressively, and sometimes recklessly, seek to gain experience that will ultimately lead to the wisdom of adulthood. Genetic predisposition not only provides the blueprint for brain development, but it also affects what environmental stimulation that teens will seek. Brain hardware motivates behavior, and behavior motivates brain development. Psychologists call this bi-directional effect nature via nurture.
Cognitive & Motor Development
Here are some highlights of core psychological theories about development during the adolescent years:
Sigmund Freud characterized the genital stage of development during adolescence in which sexual intercourse becomes the dominant motive of behavior. He theorized that the emotional storminess of this time is due to the psychological struggle between the id (reawakened primitive instinct), the ego (the mediator), and the superego (societies rules and values).
Margaret Mead concluded that adolescence is not a universally volatile time. She believed that cultural and social factors contributed to this belief rather than biology.
Jean Piaget theorized that by 12 years old, kids are entering the stage of formal operations. This more complex method of thinking allows teens to hold ideas in mind to operate on and reason more systematically, making it possible to better imagine and plan into the future.
Erik Erikson characterized adolescence as a crisis of identity versus identity confusion. In other words, he believed adolescents begin to develop a personal identity by reconciling beliefs, abilities, and desires with adult norms.
Today’s adolescents endure a multitude of stressors. More specifically, they transition from elementary to middle school, then middle school to high school. This means more teachers, increasing academic expectations, and transitioning from being the oldest, most capable kids at school to newbies who must adapt to a larger social pool. And it’s not as if they socialize each other gently. Teens use humor, peer pressure, and often downright cruelty to coax each other to fit new social expectations. Teens are also expected to take on more responsibilities at home and school. For many, their parents also enter the age range where we see the highest divorce rates. Theorists suggest this is because parents go through transition pains of their own as their kids gain independence. The strain may lead to divorce, while others were intentionally waiting until coparenting responsibilities lifted. Teens undergoing family transitions along with increasing academic and social expectations have a lot to deal with indeed.
Language Development
With the development of metacognition (thinking about thinking), the ability to think about the past, present, and future emerges. Teen learning style becomes more versatile, with a consistent ability to make alterations to learning techniques in service of more efficiency and excellence.
While developing their new identity independent from parents, teens delight in developing their own unique subcultures characterized by iconic symbols, unique styles of dress and special interests (music), private jokes, and unique slang. Adults in the community often form strong options about teen “sex, love, and rock n roll” culture, some enjoying it with fun reflection of their own youth and others fearing the bold intensity of it all.
Teen virtual identity reflects these changes just as their nonvirtual identity does. Parents must balance supportive screen monitoring with a healthy respect for online privacy.
Social and Emotional Development
Developing teen girls are particularly sensitive to body image and maintaining the approval of others. As a result, adolescent girls often display a sizable drop in perceived self-worth and are at higher risk for clinical depression than boys. Other high risk mental health issues may develop during this time, including mood and anxiety disorders, eating disorders, and contagious, troubling behaviors like self harm.
During the teen years, interpersonal relationships have increasing influence on self-worth. For socially successful teens, this social feedback contributes to a global self-esteem. For less equipped or unlucky teens, this may mark a decline in their beliefs about competency and ability. The more warm, supportive, and clearly communicative their parental support system, the more likely the teen will demonstrate resilience. As teens push back, skilled parents begin to adopt a more democratic parenting style, allowing teens more of a voice in making decisions.
In clinical practice, I often see families struggle with the child-to-adolescent transition; especially if parents have been highly involved in their children’s overall decision making. As teens branch out in search of independent experiences, parents may naïvely perceive adolescent behaviors as intentional betrayal. When parents become too heavy handed with punishing consequence, the parent child alliance can be damaged with resentment, anger, and guilt. A strong alliance from childhood and real efforts to develop patience, faith, and a rich sense of humor are critical to successful coping. Social support for parent and teens is also important for positive outcome.
Adolescent peer groups often take on complex roles similar to those seen in families. This new sense of security from peer cliques in place of the traditional family and the “try-outs” and competition for these roles can become very complicated. Furthermore, as peer conflicts arise, parental suggestions become less and less helpful. For example, “just don’t hang out with them” or “go to the school administration” are rarely adequate solutions and often lead to more problems than they were intended to solve. Teen and parent frustration can lead to lack of obedience, blatant disregard, and overall strain on the parent-teen relationship.
By age 14, most adolescents have adopted a dramatic dependence on peers for support and approval. They are becoming increasingly sophisticated in their abilities to assess the complex psychological aspects of friendships, including dispositional similarities and dissimilarities as well as situational factors that may influence behavior (Damon & Hart, 1988). As a result, teen friendships become more intimate with an emphasis on loyalty and popularity. Competition for romantic partners also peak, leading to tearful drama and broken hearts. The first cut is the deepest becomes more evident with romance and breakups taking an increasing focus among teen groups.
Clinically, I see many middle- and high-schoolers struggle to find their best peer group. Feelings of loneliness, rejection, and envy often come into play as best friends split due to changing needs and interests. More complex conflicts and the resulting heightened emotion are often reflected in social media blogs and posts. Teens often promote their new “image” and peer attachments without regard to future consequences. In other words, teens may intentionally release racy photos and posts in order to look more sophisticated or sexually experienced. One moment of lapsed judgment can now be shared with thousands of friendly and rival peers, never to be recaptured or controlled.
Lawrence Kohlberg theorized that most teens assess “what is right” as living up to others’ expectations. For others, the more advanced moral development stage 4 consider “what is right” to be fulfilling one’s duties. It is precisely this sophistication that leads to the following burgeoning adolescent traits that conflict with parent rules and experienced wisdom:
Sexuality: “He’s hot!” “She’s hot!” Teens are now interested in attracting and being attracted to potential sexual partners. Lunchtime in middle school is a lesson on finding every excuse to hug or wrestle with all the awkward and giddy playfulness that entails.
Pseudostupidity: Teens often make things more complicated and dramatic than they need to be, overlooking the obvious while focusing on the extraneous. It seems like they’re being dense, but in reality they’re practicing developing cognitive skills. They tend to take absolute positions (always, never, everybody, nobody), which can spin into hopeless emotional states. Also, they’ll analyze every little bit of an interaction to the point of analysis paralysis. This can be very frustrating for parents, yet it is necessary for teens to overanalyze before they realize that complex analysis isn’t always necessary. They tend to overstep the mark before they settle into a more measured, moderate position. It takes a lot of practice and failure to achieve mastery. Besides, rehashing situations with great enthusiasm is an attachment exercise with similarly emotionally reactive friends. They typically have poor insight into their perceptual errors.
Idealism: Not only do teens often naively assume things will work out for the positive, but this perspective allows them to challenge entrenched ideas and think outside of the box. This trait is what motivates young people to courageously challenge and start social movements.
Imaginary audience: Teens can become very self-conscious, partly because they are actually convinced EVERYBODY is looking at them. This is a healthy factor that results from attachment transitioning from parents to peers. The truth is, there IS some intense social scrutiny going on during this phase of development. Forging a new self-identity means exploring different looks, behaviors, and perspectives. Sophisticated parents know not to sweat the small stuff. Most troubling teen behaviors are short-lived.
Omnipotence and invincibility: Without a fully developed executive control center (prefrontal brain region), teens are often unable to anticipate consequence. As a result, they are often impulsive and take risks they probably shouldn’t. It’s not unusual for teens to choose aggressive, passive, or passive-aggressive problem solving means while they master assertiveness.
Apparent hypocrisy: Another manifestation of teen egocentrism is their tendency to accuse others of misdeeds while blatantly dismissing their own. Maddening to parents, this means teens often criticize parents for selfishness while making selfish demands. Occasional correction with emotional neutrality or humor is critical to keep the parent-child alliance in balance.
Despite their intentional individuation efforts from their family of origin, teens tend to share their parents values and opinions more than you might think. And just as they push us away, they need us more than ever. It’s a mistake for parents to threaten abandonment in response to their kids’ normal efforts to become independent. The goal is to love them openly despite their protests. In general, teens DO NOT do well in families where the parents aren’t there consistently or have given up. They DO do well with parents who gradually allow them opportunity to grow and experiment instead of monitoring, intruding, or policing them too strictly.
Despite many teens dropping out of sports and extracurricular activities at this age, research demonstrates that ongoing participation contributes to positive outcomes in academic achievement, psychological health, and later involvement in political and social causes (Schafer, 579).
Risk issues to monitor include sleep deprivation due to vamping and caffeine or amphetamine abuse, unhealthy nutrition or inadequate or excessive exercise that may be related to body image, and unreasonable academic and activity scheduling.
I am one of those adults that thinks teens are hilarious, which is why it’s a speciality of my clinical psychology practice. Of course, having two at home now there are certainly times when their disdain for all that is rad about me strains my resilience. But overall, teens have the key to my heart. I admire their brash courage and quick-to-trigger vulnerabilities. As they strive for an independent identity and experiment with their power, we parents need clarity and a ton of loving support. GetKidsInternetSafe is here to provide it. If you have any specific challenges or questions about your teens, please make a comment and I’ll be sure to address them.
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Thanks to CSUCI intern, Katherine Carroll for researching “going viral” and its effect on the brain and self-esteem.
