Before the internet, “going viral” was not something positive much less something people actively sought out. “Going viral” has become a new age epidemic, with people doing whatever they can for their 60 seconds of fame. But what does “going viral” actually mean, and how does it affect our brains and our self-esteem? Today’s GKIS article will break down “going viral” and its effects. For help raising your child to be digitally smart, check out our GKIS Screen Safety Essentials Course. This course includes all GKIS parenting courses, agreements, and supplements, ensuring you are well-equipped to fight off digital injury and keep your child safe from harm.
What does it mean to “go viral”?
Going viral means sharing something via social media that spreads quickly to thousands, even millions of people. The term viral video was first used in 2009 to describe the video “David After Dentist.”[1]
One viral video or post can turn people into internet celebrities overnight and garner thousands of followers, resulting in brand deals and monetized content. Once a video goes viral, there is no limit to the number of people it will reach or even what platform they will see the video on. It is very common to see posts shared from one platform to the next, whether it be a TikTok on Twitter or a Tweet going viral on Instagram.
The number of views to be considered going viral also varies from platform to platform. One hundred thousand views on TikTok is pretty successful, whereas even a couple hundred thousand views on YouTube is a relatively low number.[2]
The number of likes is also an important factor. Many videos have a high number of views but a relatively low number of likes. These videos are not considered to be going viral because they are not well-received by the general public.[2] Engagement drives up the virality of the content through shares and comments that stimulate the algorithm to continue placing that content on people’s feeds.[2] Another important factor in going viral is the immediacy of response, meaning that the views, likes, and comments must be received within a few hours to days rather than over several months or years.[2]
How does “going viral” affect our brains?
When your video, post, or other content “goes viral,” you receive likes, comments, reposts, shares, and bookmarks. These response notifications prompt the reward systems in our brains.[3] Many fast notifications results in dopamine release. To keep that feel-good feeling going, we keep checking, acting in a way similar to gambling addictions.[3]
Algorithms also take advantage of a variable-reward system because they are programmed to recognize when to take advantage of our reward system and desire for dopamine.[3] This often results in a stockpile of notifications that get delayed until a good amount of time since the last check has passed or a large amount of engagement has accumulated.
For a personal insight into going viral, I interviewed a college student who had recently experienced the sensation of going viral. They said, “I recently had a video go viral on TikTok. It was a video of the Indie-Rock band Boygenius and one of their members, singer Phoebe Bridgers, singing a verse from their song ‘Cool About It.’ I had taken the video at a concert I had recently attended and decided to post it on TikTok since I was lucky enough to be pretty close to the stage. Over the next few days after I posted it, it got 118k views, 32k likes, and 500 comments, and was saved by more than 4000 people. Once it started picking up traction, I became obsessed with checking my notifications and seeing all the new comments. I would constantly look to see how many views I was at each hour. I even got a like from a TikTok creator who I really enjoy so that was very exciting for me.”
Although going viral is thrilling, notifications can be harmful when they are overly distracting.[4] To compensate for smartphone interruptions, studies have shown that people often work faster, resulting in more stress, frustration, time pressure, and effort.[4] Research has linked daily notifications and their interruptions to depression, anxiety, and even symptoms associated with ADHD.[5]
Our interview also revealed that the euphoria of going viral is short-lived and needs constant “re-upping.” Our subject elaborated, “Once the video started to die down though, I got annoyed by the notifications. They were distracting because they were so far and few in-between and nothing quite as exciting as the start. I got kinda sad that my viral moment was dying down. It made me want to post another video to see if it would get the same kind of attention.”
What does “going viral” do to our self-esteem?
Studies have shown that social media can be both detrimental to our self-esteem and boost it at the same time, but how does going viral change that?
Social media usage can add stress to daily life and encourage people to constantly evaluate and compare themselves to others.[6] When someone goes viral, they open themselves up to being judged by thousands of people, some of whom can be cruel, feeling emboldened by the veil of anonymity. While many would agree that the likes and views one receives on a viral post boosts their self-esteem and makes one feel good about themselves, it also allows for internet trolls to make their way into the comment section to bait others into an argument or provoke an emotional reaction.[7]
One-in-five internet users that have been victims of harassment online reported that it happened in the comment section of a website.[8] Reading negative comments can lessen confidence, reduce self-esteem, and depending on the severity, can even provoke suicidal thoughts.[9]
Our GKIS interviewee unfortunately also had experience with the negative side of going viral. They reported, “Before my video went super viral, I had posted another video that didn’t get as many views but still got a couple thousand views, a few hundred likes, and a good amount of comments. The video was clips of my girlfriend and me in celebration of our second anniversary. For the most part, the comments were really nice, with people calling us cute and being supportive. But after a little while of it being up, it got to the wrong side of TikTok. As a queer couple, we’re used to people being rude or staring at us, but to get negative comments just hurt more for some reason. This was a few months ago, but I still think about the comments from time to time. It honestly made me want to delete the whole video even though it was just a few comments out of a bunch of nice ones.”
How Parents Can Help
Understand that what you and your child post has the potential to go viral, even if you don’t want it to.
Set the privacy settings on posts to control who gets to see the content you share.
Prevent a digital injury to your child’s self-esteem before it occurs with our GKIS Screen Safety Toolkit for parents of kids of all ages.
To help facilitate difficult conversations about online content and who should see it, try out our free GKIS Connected Family Screen Agreement.
Ninety-eight percent of American homes with kids under eight years old have a mobile screen device.[1] Often children as young as three years old have their own! These bright, glowing, pieces of technology are incredibly attractive for the developing mind, so it’s no wonder kids may feel agitated, bored, or stressed when they must put it down and get to homework. Tantrums at the end of screen time may be a sign of screen addiction. If you worry your child has the potential for screen addiction, empower yourself with the knowledge and expertise provided through Dr. Bennett’s Screen Safety Essentials Course. This program offers weekly parent and family-oriented coaching videos designed to provide you with the information, tips, and tricks that the modern family needs to use screens while staying safe and connected. Today’s article offers 3 GKIS recommended tips to effectively deal with these symptoms.
Hyperarousal & Screen Addiction
Immersing oneself with a screen device is associated with hyperarousal of our nervous system.[2] This type of arousal is associated with irritability in adults and tantrums in children.
Following hyperarousal, the brain attempts to return to balance with an opposite response. Sometimes this results in fatigue and low energy – as in “what goes up must come down.” Some consider this crash to be evidence of addictive withdrawal.
If your child is allowed too much screen time, especially with intense content, expect a tantrum followed by fatigue. Further, if a child repeatedly undergoes this neurological rollercoaster unchecked, excessive screen time can result in chronic mental health conditions.
A study by Anita Restrepo and colleagues analyzed 564 children and their screen usage. They found that the children with problematic internet use suffered from higher rates of sleep disturbance, depressive episodes, and a reduction in healthy behavior.[3] Gaming addiction symptoms, such as feelings of loss of control and play despite negative consequences to school and relationships, can also result from unchecked screen time.
Dr. Tracy Bennett developed the Social Media Readiness Course to empower tweens and teens to employ wellness strategies themselves. Utilizing these techniques backed by research and experience by Dr. B’s 25+ years in the field will aid in retraining your kid’s brain. Our course not only teaches screen use moderation but also offers important information about potential sources of digital injury and critical psychological wellness tools.
Validation and Support
If your child is demonstrating severe meltdowns after screen time, yelling at them will only escalate the situation. Instead, coach emotional stabilization by validating their experience (“You must feel really out of control right now”) and coaching them to calm down. Supportive teamwork teaches important wellness skills, builds problem-solving and resilience, and ultimately results in greater autonomy and less conflict and resentment.
Psychologists Shin and Kim analyzed two types of parenting approaches with screen use among 303 parents. Active mediation emphasizes family discussions about screen use. Restrictive mediation emphasizes one-sided rule-setting for screen devices. Families that use active mediation demonstrated better outcomes than those who preferred restrictive mediation.[4]
When a child is involved in family decision-making, they are given a greater sense of confidence and autonomy. As a result, they have a lower chance of developing resentment.[5] Completing a digital contract, like our free GKIS Connected Family Screen Agreement, is an awesome way to get started with cooperative dialogue and accountability!
Providing Incentive
Following through with priorities and practicing work before play are important life skills. This can be challenging for children when online work feels tedious, boring, and lacks a clear payoff. If your child seems to lose steam and get distracted with online work, rewarding effort with incentives can be helpful.
A study by Radhakrishnan and colleagues looking at 201 students found that giving incentives to complete homework increased their performance and completion rates.[6] Incentives can be material like a new toy, or experiential like a family picnic.
Material incentives are great occasionally but try not to let this be the only motivator that keeps your kid going. Dr. Bennett finds that kids habituate quickly from material rewards and they fail to work overtime. She says family activities celebrating your kid’s hard work well-done ends up working far better, especially when utilizing reward charts and checklists like the Bennett Boxes technique found in her book Screen Time in the Mean Time.
Don’t Give In
Children are incredibly clever at implementing pester power. Pester power wears us down until we cave and give in to their demands for toys, games, and screen time. Sometimes we might simply be exhausted and give them a “fine, 30 more minutes.” But what just happened there is a learning moment for your child. They learn that by bugging you incessantly, they will be rewarded
This parent-child dynamic exemplifies intermittent reinforcement, which means that a behavior that is rewarded occasionally will dramatically increase that behavior—just like with gambling. Once a behavior has been reinforced in this way, it’s more difficult to “undo” it later.[7]
To avoid this trap, stick to your rules with consistency and follow-through. This teaches your child that they can trust your word, and it’s not worth the fight to argue.
Thanks to CSUCI intern, Avery Flower for researching effective ways to deal with behavioral issues, and for co-authoring this article.
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
[1] Common Sense Media. (2017). The Common Sense Census: Media Use By Kids Age Zero to Eight. Retrieved from https://www.commonsensemedia.org/sites/default/files/uploads/research/csm_zerotoeight_fullreport_release_2.pdf
[3] Restrepo, A., Scheininger, T., Clucas, J., Alexander, L., Salum, G. A., Georgiades, K., Paksarian, D., Merikangas, K. R., & Milham, M. P. (2020). Problematic internet use in children and adolescents: Associations with psychiatric disorders and impairment. BMC Psychiatry, 20. https://doi-org.ezproxy.csuci.edu/10.1186/s12888-020-02640-x
[4] Shin, W., & Kim, H. K. (2019). What motivates parents to mediate children’s use of smartphones? An application of the theory of planned behavior. Journal of Broadcasting & Electronic Media, 63(1), 144–159. https://doi-org.ezproxy.csuci.edu/10.1080/08838151.2019.1576263
[5] Roth, G., Assor, A., Niemiec, C. P., Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2009). The emotional and academic consequences of parental conditional regard: Comparing conditional positive regard, conditional negative regard, and autonomy support as parenting practices. Developmental Psychology, 45(4), 1119–1142. https://doi-org.ezproxy.csuci.edu/10.1037/a0015272
[6] Radhakrishnan, P., Lam, D., & Ho, G. (2009). Giving university students incentives to do homework improves their performance. Journal of Instructional Psychology, 36(3), 219–225.
Thanks to CSUCI intern, Katherine Carroll for researching “going viral” and its effect on the brain and self-esteem.
