Child Development

The Hidden Risks of Over-monitoring Kids Online

December 16, 2025 by Elaha Qudratulla

Parents feel a heavy burden to protect their kids from online harm. Threats such as cyber-bullying, predators, and unwanted content are real, and it’s understandable to want to put tight restrictions in place. But what if the very tools we use to protect our children are creating unintended consequences? Over-monitoring can undermine trust, limit children’s development of independence and online resilience, and even expose privacy vulnerabilities. Here’s what the research shows and how parents can find the perfect balance.

Where did we go wrong?

66% of parents surveyed say that parenting is harder today than 20 years ago, and digital technology is to blame.[1] Parents monitor in a variety of ways, including limiting screen time, checking websites, requiring password access, using GPS tracking, and checking social media following/friending.[1] Yes, tighter supervision sounds like a necessary solution in a world full of endless apps, social networks, and online risks, but is it?

A study conducted by the University of Central Florida found that parental-control apps, which allow for deep monitoring of children’s online activities, were associated with more, not fewer, online risks for teens. More specifically, the study found that teens whose parents used these apps reported unwanted explicit content, online harassment, and sexual solicitations. This doesn’t mean monitoring caused the risks; instead, parents often turn to these apps because their teens are already encountering online issues. The researchers concluded that instead of building digital competence and trust, many of these apps fostered a control-heavy and distrusting family environment.[2] So, instead of turning to these apps for help, try Dr. Bennett’s Connected Family Course.

Another study of children’s apps found that even “family-friendly” apps often include trackers, location permissions, or mislabeling of age ratings.[4] Further, children and teens with over-monitoring parents saw their parents as intrusive and were more likely to hide, deceive, and intentionally misbehave.[4] All in all, when monitoring feels oppressive, kids may respond by hiding and lying rather than being open and honest.

What does that mean for parents?

If the goal is safety, forced online surveillance may undermine the trust between parent and child and may hinder the open and honest communication we should be working to establish. As we teach in our Screen Safety Essentials Course for families, just implementing controls isn’t enough. One of the most damaging costs of over-monitoring is to trust and self-regulation. When children know they are constantly being watched, they may feel that their parents don’t believe they are capable of making responsible choices. That can lead to secrecy, feelings of giving up on communicating openly, and a lack of connection or engagement with parents.

“Why tell mom and dad if they won’t believe me anyway?”

I found myself asking this exact question at 12 years old when I made my first Facebook account and kept it a secret. I didn’t want to get in trouble, and I wanted to connect with my friends outside of school. I felt left out. But, when I asked my mom if I could open my own account, she said no. When I asked her why, she had no answer. So, I took it upon myself to create an account anyway.

I lied about my age so that I could create the account without parental supervision, and I kept it a secret. I would use it when she was not paying attention. My intentions were pure, and I did use it to connect with friends. But, of course, like with all online platforms, creepy older men would try to befriend me or message me.

GetKidsInternetSafe’s mission is to improve parent-child relationships AND screen safety. Had my mom and I had access to the GKIS Social Media Readiness Course, we would have been able to find a safer middle ground for me to connect to my friends. Not only would I have learned more about screen safety and been better equipped to solve online problems independently, but my parents and I would have engaged in healthier conversations and maybe even gotten closer. Ultimately, I would have been prepared to protect myself from getting into a relationship with a 17-year-old. Read The Hidden Dangers of Online Grooming: I Was Only 13, to find out how my lack of preparation for having social media resulted in me forming a premature physical relationship with a young man who was four years older than me at that time.

How Can We Do Better?

One of the most effective ways to guide children safely online isn’t through hidden surveillance, but through connection, conversation, and shared agreements. When parents begin by listening to their children about what worries them, what they enjoy, and what feels out of control, they build a foundation of trust. That trust becomes the launch pad for screen-time guidelines, digital boundaries, and the kind of autonomy children need to develop resilience. GKIS emphasizes this approach through its Connected Family Screen Agreement, a free tool designed to invite open dialogue instead of enforcing silence. It helps kids understand why parents have concerns and utilize safety tools and techniques.

Instead of solely relying on rigid controls, the path to healthier online habits includes tools, skill-building, and gradual transition. GKIS’s Screen Safety Toolkit isn’t a spy-kit; it’s a resource for families to use as practical checklists, conversational prompts, and strategies to empower children rather than just restricting them.

By investing in tools like this, parents can shift from pushing their kids to secrecy to creating a trusting relationship through honest communication. This way, your child knows that they are safe, supported, and ready to navigate the digital world with you by their side.

Thanks to CSUCI intern, Elaha Qudratulla, for researching and sharing an important story about how online safety is more important than online policing.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2020/07/28/parenting-children-in-the-age-of-screens/

[2] https://www.ucf.edu/news/apps-keep-children-safe-online-may-counterproductive/

[3] https://arxiv.org/pdf/2303.09008

[4] https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0140197117302051

Photos Cited

[1] Rizki Kurniawan

[2] Marten Newhall

[3] Tasha Kostyuk

[4] Vitaly Gariev

https://unsplash.com/

Off the Phone and On the Soccer Field: My Cure for Digital Disconnection

November 7, 2025 by Elaha Qudratulla

Kids crave connection. Face-to-face interaction and emotional closeness are vital for healthy development—particularly for adolescents.[1] Screen time offers shallow connections and distracts kids from those unpleasant cravings. It also keeps kids so busy that they don’t seek the connection they so desperately need. What if they didn’t have to be so lonely? What if there was a way they could be off their screens, doing something good for their health, and making friends at the same time? For me, that was playing sports.

The Seed Was Planted

As a child, I was most excited to hang out with my friends, be on my phone, watch TV, or eat sweets, in that order. That was until I joined a team sport.

It all started when my mother asked me if I wanted to join the local soccer team. I was nine years old and against the idea because I didn’t want it to cut into cartoon time on the weekends, and had we gone through the Screen Safety Essentials Course, we wouldn’t have worried so much about the impact of screens on us. But she insisted. I only agreed because my favorite cousins were on the team.

I learned from the first practice that I loved the intense physical activity of soccer, and after a while, I began to really get the hang of it. I felt proud and accomplished. I made great friends on the team. We loved team bonding activities and even began to hang out outside of practice. I loved it so much, I gave it my all and looked forward to it all week.

By high school, I had won medals and genuinely felt like I was good at the sport. I received praise and encouragement for all of my efforts and hard work. It also inspired me to work hard in other aspects of my life. I tried harder in school, was friendlier with classmates, more obedient in class, and more eager to participate in the learning process. According to Project Play, high school athletes are more likely to further their education and even receive higher grades in college.[2] I started seeing everything in the world as a skill waiting to be attained, something that required courage, effort, and training.

Having that view of the world helped me when I sprained my ankle right before the start of my freshman season. While recovering, I could have easily scrolled through Snapchat and Instagram endlessly. But I wanted to make sure I continued to build the bond with my teammates for when I returned. It taught me to wait my turn, keep a positive attitude, remain patient, and support others as they shine. As soon as I recovered, my teammates were more than happy to catch me up to speed, and I rebuilt my strength.

Core Memories That Last

One of my most memorable moments taught me something I will never forget. It was my junior year; we were tied 0-0, with a minute left in the game. My team was exhausted, but as captain, I knew this is where my job was most important. I dribbled the ball up the center, dodging two midfielders and one defender, set it up for my left forward, and yelled, “SHOOT!” She shot and sent it straight into the upper right corner of the goal. Everyone who was there to support us was on their feet, our coaches were throwing their clipboards in the air and hugging each other, and our teammates ran to us for a celebratory hug and a jump around. We spent the last 15 seconds of that game with tears in our eyes and joy in our hearts. We had just beaten a 40-year record for our school!

This is when I realized this would have a lifelong impact on me. It was one of those moments that I’ll look back on happily. It was a lifetime of preparation to become someone people could rely on when things got tough and hope felt lost. It was the moment I truly understood what being a leader meant to me and the impact it had on others.

I hugged and thanked my mother for signing me up for soccer at nine years old. She introduced me to the first love of my life, and I would forever be grateful for that. From then on, I never doubted my abilities to get something done, never lost confidence in myself, and never hurt someone without apologizing or broke something without trying to replace it.

The Impact of The Beautiful Game

Project Play reports that sports, in particular, can positively impact aspects of personal development among young people, keep them away from harmful substances, and encourage cognitive, educational, and mental health benefits.[2] I believe my experience of playing soccer was so much more than just a fun sport or a way to stay active, although both are tried and true. It was a refinement of my character, it was a positive shift in how I viewed the world and myself in it, it was what taught me that rejection was just redirection, and it was a way to build and maintain connections with people I am still close to, at 27 years old.

Why Everyone Should Play Sports

Participation in sports can protect against the development of mental health disorders.[4] These benefits include lowering stress levels, rates of anxiety and depression.[5]Lifelong participation in sports leads to improved mental health outcomes and even immediate psychological benefits which continue long after participation is over with. The improve self-confidence, encourage creativity, and nurture a higher self-esteem. Statistically, adolescents who play sports are eight times more likely to be physically active at age 24.[3]

Thanks to CSUCI intern, Elaha Qudratulla, for sharing an important story about how beneficial playing sports were for her then and how it still helps her today.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited:

[1] https://www.uvpediatrics.com/topics/alone-together-how-smartphones-and-social-media-contribute-to-social-deprivation-in-youth

[2] https://projectplay.org/youth-sports/facts/benefits

[3] https://odphp.health.gov/sites/default/files/2020-09/YSS_Report_OnePager_2020-08-31_web.pdf

[4] https://baca.org/blog/does-playing-organized-youth-sports-have-an-impact-on-adult-mental-health/

[5] https://pce.sandiego.edu/child-development-through-sports/

Photos Cited:

[Header] Eva Wahyuni on UnSplash

[2] Olivia Hibbins on UnSplash

[3] Elaha Qudratulla

[4] Jeffrey F Lin on UnSplash

[5] Elaha Qudratulla

https://unsplash.com/

Likes and Lies: The Hidden Dangers of Your Child’s Feed

July 10, 2025 by Elaha Qudratulla

Your child’s social media feed knows more about them than you do. It knows when they’re sad, when they’re bored, and exactly what will keep them doom-scrolling. What started as a tool to share selfies is now a billion-dollar system designed to study their every click. It used to be strangers in parks, but now, it’s the threat in your child’s pocket. Instagram and Snapchat look like fun and harmless apps, but their design is all but innocent. Behind every selfie and snap streak is an algorithm trained to hijack your child’s attention, exploit their self-esteem, and guide their decisions. Today, this function serves as a 24/7 behavioral lab where your child is the test dummy. Every tap and swipe are testing what makes influences them or makes them click and buy.[1]

Before the Storm: When Social Media Felt Safe

When Instagram launched in 2010, its focus was to bring users together, show off talent, share good news, and discover something new. Snapchat followed shortly after, allowing people to share moments in real time, making it feel like you can never be too far away to keep up a connection.[2] For a while, both platforms served as exciting digital spaces for teens to express themselves, keep up with friends, and build their identity during a critical stage of development. That was before the algorithms took over.

Your Child, The Algorithms’ Prey

With time, social media platforms changed and added features to collect more user data and became more addictive. For example, Instagram is no longer a walled garden where users only view the content they search for. Now your child is offered content that their algorithm thinks will keep them hooked on scrolling.

According to the Google Dictionary, an algorithm is a process of calculations, which is usually followed by a computer, to generate problem-solving operations.[3]

Similar to gambling, teens get hooked not by the actual content, but by the mere possibility of upcoming content that can spike their interest for a few seconds longer.[4] Teenage brains are especially vulnerable to dopamine-driven design. Each like or snap streak triggers a small release of dopamine (the brain’s reward chemical).

These dopamine hits reinforce behavior, which grows the addiction to likes, snaps, and screen time. Studies show that likes on social media activate the brain’s reward center the same way winning money or eating chocolate does. The effect is often strongest in adolescents.[5] Check out a similar article on What “Going Viral” Does to Your Brain and Self-Esteem.

Snapchat’s “discover” and “spotlight” tabs work similarly, offering endless videos of curated, attention-grabbing content. These algorithms are powered by machine learning models trained on user data, so that every like, pause, screenshot, and swipe is noted and catered to. Eventually, all of this info is used to create a feed of things your child’s eyes and attention will be glued to for hours on end.

Also, Snapchat’s infamous “Snapsteaks” turn communication into an obligation. Teens often feel pressure to maintain streaks daily, even with people they barely know, just to avoid losing their digital relationships.

Social media has always been performative to some degree. But algorithms now reward exaggerated, filtered, and fake versions of life. Filters that alter facial features and bodies have made it harder for teens to see the difference between real and edited images. The compare and despair dynamic can lead to poor self-image and increasing dissatisfaction among vulnerable kids and teens. External validation through repeated use of social media is linked to increased anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem in adolescents.[6] Check out this GKIS article on how Beauty Filters Don’t Embrace Brown Beauty: The Rise of Colorism.

Take Back the Power

As tempting as it is to ban the use of these apps altogether, it can backfire. Overly punitive responses can promote child secrecy and risky behavior, especially as teens are coming into their own and learning to be more and more independent. Get ahead of it and be their ally by educating them about the hidden risks. Tackle this problem together by taking The GKIS Social Media Readiness Course. Our online course was created for tweens and teens to help them learn safer social media habits and practice better emotional wellness. With these skills, when they come in contact with harmful social media content, they will have their shields up.

Thanks to CSUCI intern, Elaha Qudratulla, for researching and co-writing this article. Check out more of her work here on GKIS:

The Hidden Dangers of Online Grooming: I Was Only 13

Netflix Documentary, Bad Influencer, Exposes Parent Producer Abusing Child Influencers

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1]https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/sociology/articles/10.3389/fsoc.2020.599270/full

[2]https://doi.org/10.1080/1369118X.2015.1084349

[3]https://www.google.com/search?q=definition+of+an+algorithm&rlz=1C1GCEU_enUS947US947&oq=definition+of+an+algorithm+&aqs=chrome..69i57j0i512j0i22i30l8.10231j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

[4]https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tics.2015.09.004

[5]https://doi.org/10.1111/cdev.12838

[6]https://doi.org/10.1080/02673843.2019.1590851

Photos Cited

[Header] Gaspar Uhas on Unsplash

[2] Karsten Winegeart on Unsplash

[3] Soheb Zaidi on Unsplash

[4] Adrian Swancar on Unsplash

[5] Jeffery Kennan on Unsplash

https://unsplash.com/

Netflix Documentary, Bad Influencer, Exposes Parent Producer Abusing Child Influencers

April 3, 2025 by Elaha Qudratulla

We were hunters and gatherers for 90% of human existence. That means our brains are still wired to prioritize the things that kept us alive when we were living on the land, before the domestication of animals and the construction of cities. One thing that kept us alive was living in a tribe and cooperating. Attracting a tribe and fitting in was a requirement of life. That is why kids and teens are hyper-focused on doing what their friends do and working to be cool and accepted. Online influencers count on this drive to maintain their income streams. One way to attract kids online is to be a kid doing what kids love to do, playing with toys and video games, opening new packages, and hanging out with friends acting goofy. Netflix’s Bad Influencer offers a glimpse of the kid influencer “scene,” and the lengths that some parents will go to attract and keep a following.

What is Bad Influence about?

The limited documentary series has gone viral for good reason. It’s definitely entertaining, but also deeply unsettling. It is a perfect way to raise awareness about how scary a life all about social media can be. Bad Influencer is a documentary that focuses on a tween who becomes an overnight social media star and brings her friends to stardom with her. What started out as a fun hobby quickly turned into a living nightmare. It may seem glamorous to be famous online, until you learn that the child influencers spent the majority of their childhoods working long hours acting out video ideas, risky stunts, and performing pranks that sometimes went too far—all under the pressure of adult producers/parents hungry for views. Check out Intimacy With Minors Encouraged at the Hype House for a similar story of underage exploitation.

SPOILER ALERT: The show takes a chilling turn when the mother of the main character is accused of, and videotaped, sexually exploiting these kids on set by positioning herself as one of the only adults supervising them to control them. Some survived the battle with only a few scars, while the main character is stuck living this nightmare over and over again. It may be funny, exaggerated, and attention-grabbing, but it also paints a dark picture of a digital world where clout matters more than character and children are left to pay the price.

Psychology Behind the Fame Obsession

From a psychological point of view, being an influencer is cool to children because they have a natural need for validation, attention, and social connection.[1] Although the minimum age on most social media platforms is 13, it is reported that children ranging from 8-17 are found scrolling through online platforms soaking up content too mature for their ages.[2] Sadly, unlike real-world relationships, social media platforms offer fast, unfiltered dopamine hits through likes, shares, and views. Without proper guidance, this can make kids tie their self-worth to online numbers, which can result in low self-esteem, fear of missing out (FOMO), performance anxiety, and digital addiction.[3] As a result of social unlimited social media usage, kids can also experience anxiety, depression, and even poor quality of sleep.[4] Counteract this monster and help your child build emotional resilience, red flag awareness, and digital literacy by taking our GKIS Social Media Readiness Training Course. Geared for teens or tweens, it’s the perfect giftbefore that new device or video game.

What You Can Do to Help

Bad Influencer is not just a show; it’s a cautionary tale that shares the pressures kids face online every day. It is easy to get off topic and want to pull the plug on all electronics just to protect your child from their dangers, but that is not always possible. Technology and online platforms are all around us, and it is better to set your child up for success than to try to keep them out of the loop. Connecting with your child over what they find interesting can help create a trusting relationship where you can notice if things start to become a little off. Our free Connected Family Screen Agreement can help you and your child co-create rules around how to safely navigate online platforms. This way your child can thrive in the digital age without losing themselves in it.

Thanks to CSUCI intern, Elaha Qudratulla for researching and co-writing this article.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe. Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] https://genomind.com/patients/the-social-media-dilemma-how-childrens-mental-health-may-be-affected/
[2] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37721985/
[3] https://startmywellness.com/2025/02/how-social-media-affects-mental-health/
[4] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11641642/

Photo Credits

[Header] freestock on Unsplash
[2] Leonardo David on Unsplash
[3] Sanket Mishra on Unsplash
[4] Cande Westh on Unsplash
https://unsplash.com/

Popular YouTube Channel ‘Ms. Rachel’ is Teaching Infants to Talk Early

April 10, 2023 by katherinecarroll

Millennial parents are constantly looking for ways to “life-hack” their parenting and make parenthood a breeze. YouTube channel ‘Ms. Rachel’ is the newest of the tools parents are utilizing, and the results are astonishing. Parents all over social media are praising ‘Ms. Rachel’ for teaching their children to talk (along with teaching skills like sign language). Virtual learning tools are a great way to help supplement the education your child receives, but with screen time comes burnout. To prevent screen time burnout for your child, try our safe-screen home setup and management with our GKIS Connected Family Course, suitable for parents with toddlers to teens.

Who is ‘Ms. Rachel’?

‘Ms. Rachel’ is a teacher who created “Songs for Littles,” a YouTube channel that has 3.03 million subscribers and 1.7 billion views despite only having 102 videos made since its creation in early 2019.[1] Rachel Griffin Accurso (Ms. Rachel) creates educational videos that are backed by research and learning standards important for babies, toddlers, and preschoolers with the help of a large team. Accurso has a masters degree in music education from NYU and is currently working on her second masters in early childhood education.[2]

Accurso was motivated to create the channel after her own son was diagnosed with a speech delay. Her son inspired her to create a show to encourage language development and help children reach important learning milestones.[3] Accurso employs psychological principles like mirroring and encourages viewers to follow along with her sign and body language to build speech and language skills. Mirroring involves the mimicry of reflecting speech or behavior to help children learn to develop skills on their own.[4]

Social Media Praise

Parents all over social media have sung high praise for Ms. Rachel, even crediting her for being the reason their children say their first words. Beyond just speaking, users have also shared videos of their kids expressing themselves using sign language.

TikTok user Cw1908 shared a video of her 2-year-old daughter signing and saying, “I want more milk, I want more.”[5] The comments of the video are filled with parents sharing their experiences with Ms. Rachel as well. TikTok user Yesys13 writes, “OMG! My daughter is almost 3 and has a speech delay. Mrs. Rachel has helped her communicate with us a lot easier without frustration!”[6] User Sweetness.103 writes, “I play Ms. Rachel and my baby can read for my grandbaby.”[7]

Even parents who are cautious about screen time in infanthood share their praise for Ms. Rachel and share that the benefits outweigh their anxieties. TikTok user Nataliaa_calles shared, “I was very hesitant to allow screen time with Ivy. I heard many kids’ shows become addictive. I researched a lot of different YouTubers to help my daughter’s brain development, and Ms. Rachel was the best. Ivyanah has now learned ‘momma’ (6 months old). She’s been saying it for weeks now.”[8]

Ms. Rachel’s videos seem to help both children who are just developing their language skills and those who are developmentally delayed. Comment by user Irisloc112 on the aforementioned video states, “My son has no word at almost 3. We started watching Ms. Rachel, and now he doesn’t stop talking 5 months later.”[9]

It is not just moms on TikTok who are praising Ms. Rachel. Jasmin, 27, shared with GKIS all about how her child has learned to talk with the help of Ms. Rachel’s videos. “I started playing Ms. Rachel for my son when he was about 3 months old. I heard good reviews about Ms. Rachel and how she teaches kids important skills such as speech, movements, and emotions. I thought it was a great way for my son to learn at an early stage. From watching Ms. Rachel’s videos my son has learned how to say ‘Mama’ and ‘Dada’. His first word was ‘Mama’ at 7 months old. He always laughs and talks while I have Ms. Rachel playing on the TV. I would recommend Ms. Rachel’s videos because I believe they can help many kids who are behind in speech development or any kids who are struggling to express their feelings and emotions.”

It turns out that grandparents are crazy for Ms. Rachel too! Dr. Bennett shared that she just returned from a weekend vacation with her first grandchild and said that is the one show that keeps his attention the whole time. She found herself singing along and repeating Ms. Rachel along with him. He too is signing as well as talking and singing.

Benefits of Teaching Language Early

Most infants begin babbling around 4 months of age and say their first recognizable word around 12 to 18 months old.[10] Babies learn speech through socialization and the world around them. They closely watch their parents’ reactions to sounds and conversations with others. Through this observation, babies begin to mimic and mirror the people around them.[11] The most effective way to help your child learn to speak is by spending time talking and interacting with them. However, all parents need a break, so having an occasional virtual “co-parent” can help a lot.

Delayed speech development is associated with developmental risks down the line such as academic difficulties, learning disabilities, social difficulties, anxiety, and behavioral problems.[12] By teaching your child to learn language early, you can help to avoid these risks and reap all the benefits of early language development. Research has shown that developing a large vocabulary increases creativity.[13] Language development also helps children understand and process their emotions, analyze ideas, develop critical thinking skills, and set the foundation for most future learning.[14]

If you are worried about your child developing a digital injury such as screen addiction while utilizing virtual learning tools, check out our GKIS Screen Safety Essentials Course. Co-viewing the content your child is consuming and using to learn can help your child avoid burnout. When you’re tired of watching a screen, they probably are too!

Like what you read? Check out our GKIS articles “Dr. Bennett’s Developmental Psychology Crash Course for Children Ages 0-2 Years” and “GKIS Recommended Apps of Child Social and Emotional Learning”.

Thanks to CSUCI intern, Katherine Carroll for researching Ms. Rachel and language development.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] Songs for Littles – Toddler Learning Videos. (2023). YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/@msrachel/about

[2] Songs for Littles – Learn, Bond, Thrive: About Us. (2023). Songs For Littles. https://www.songsforlittles.com/bios

[3] Hanson, K. (2022). Who is Ms. Rachel and why are your kids obsessed with her? Today.

https://www.today.com/parents/family/who-is-ms-rachel-rcna60194

[4] APA Dictionary of Psychology. (2023). American Psychological Association. https://dictionary.apa.org/mirroring

[5] Watkins, C. [@cw1908]. (2023). Its time for songs for littlessss!! #MrsRachel #songsforlittles #signlanguage #Shadybaby @Ms Rachel [Video]. TikTok. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRWNRVM4/

[6] Rico, Yesi. [@yesys13]. (2023). Re: Its time for songs for littlessss!! #MrsRachel #songsforlittles #signlanguage #Shadybaby @Ms Rachel [Video]. TikTok. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRWNRVM4/
[7] Ronnie. [@sweetness.103]. (2023). Re: Its time for songs for littlessss!! #MrsRachel #songsforlittles #signlanguage #Shadybaby @Ms Rachel [Video]. TikTok. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRWNRVM4/

[8] Calles, N. [@nataliaa_calles]. (2022). Thank you @Ms Rachel #6months [Video]. TikTok.https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRWNkK3K/

[9] Loc, I. [@irisloc112]. (2022). Re: Thank you @Ms Rachel #6months [Video]. TikTok. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRWNkK3K/

[10] Reece, T. (2022). When Do Babies Start Talking? Parents. https://www.parents.com/baby/development/talking/when-do-babies-start-talking/

[11] When do babies start talking? (2023). Children’s Health. https://www.childrens.com/health-wellness/when-do-babies-start-talking

[12] The Importance of Language Development in Early Childhood. (2017). Adam and Mila. https://www.adam-mila.com/importance-language-development-early-childhood/

[13] The Whole Child – For Early Care Providers – Let’s Talk About It. (2023). PBS. https://www.pbs.org/wholechild/providers/talk.html

[14] Stephens, K. (2007). Language Is a Powerful Influence on Children’s Development. Parenting Exchange. https://www.easternflorida.edu/community-resources/child-development-centers/parent-resource-library/documents/language-child-development.pdf

Photo Credits

Photo by Stephen Andrews (https://unsplash.com/photos/u0zTce7KNlY)

Photo by Towfiqu Barbhuiya (https://unsplash.com/photos/5u6bz2tYhX8)

Photo by Solen Feyissa (https://unsplash.com/photos/XfnfMlNpWDo)

Photo by Ben White (https://unsplash.com/photos/4K2lIP0zc_k)

Millennials, Gen Z, and the Internet: Generational Divides

November 14, 2022 by Tracy Pizano

The creation of the Internet has transformed society in every way imaginable, and 84% of us use it every day.[1] The two generations that grew up with the Internet are millennials and generation Z. You may be surprised at how differently these two groups use it, and how it’s affected them as human beings overall. Today’s GKIS article highlights the difference between teens and young adults and those who are 25 and older. If you’d like to help prepare your gen Z’s for healthy Internet media consumption by building good habits and communication, check out our Screen Safety Essentials Course.

What defines a generation?

A generation refers to all people born and living around the same time. The average period of a generation is 20 to 30 years, and the cutoffs are defined by when people become adults and start having children of their own. Although the specific years that group a generation is often up for debate, for our purposes we define millennials to be anyone born between 1981 and 1996 and generation Z to be anyone born between 1997 and 2012. That means millennials are currently between the ages of 26 and 41, and Gen Zs are between the ages of 10 and 25. Millennials were in their teen years when they first started using social media and gen Z’s were still children when they ventured into online neighborhoods independently.

Millennials and the Internet: Jackie’s POV

To gather better insight into how millennials view and interact with the internet, I interviewed Jackie (age 25).

Jackie started using Instagram and Facebook when she was 16 years old. She considers the biggest impact social media had on her was the comparison. Comparing her social media posts to others’ posts was the biggest issue she thinks she faced. It’s an issue for her because when she would compare posts, insecurities often arose. She said that constantly seeing others’ posts of selfies, vacation pictures, and pictures with significant others and friends made her feel inadequate, especially when she was much younger. She overcame those issues by no longer using social media as often.

Gen Z and the Internet: Sophia’s POV

To better understand gen Z’s views and interactions with the internet, I interviewed Sophia (age 12) about her experiences.

Sophia started using social media when she was 10 years old, specifically Snapchat and TikTok. She feels that the biggest impact social media had on her was the concern of appearing ‘cringe’ online and in front of others in real life. Micro-managing one’s appearance and mannerisms is another problem many gen Zs face. Snapchat and TikTok often contain videos of people recording others doing things, sometimes without their knowledge. Certain behaviors are labeled as ‘cringe’ or ‘embarrassing’ by others in comment sections. Nowadays, she says she still uses social media often but not as much as she used to, claiming she used to be glued to her screen 24/7 when she first started.

Compare and Despair

The biggest similarity between the two is the micro-management of what is shared online. Many are concerned with how they’re perceived on social media in addition to comparing their lives to others. Curating the perfect image or life is something that seems to be an issue for many social media users regardless of age.

The negativity and insecurities that come from social media aren’t age-restricted. However, it can have a particularly heavy effect on tweens and teens. Our Social Media Readiness Course can help with that. By teaching kids the red flags of digital injury and clinically tested psychological wellness tools, we can help prepare your kids for safer screen use and prevent feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, and the desire to compare online.

More Access and More Influence on Self-Identity

Taking both interviews and research into consideration, it seems that there are both similarities and differences in how both generations interact with the Internet. The biggest difference is that gen Z has been exposed to social media much younger than millennials before they solidly formed self-identity. Further, more social media platforms and sophisticated personal mobile devices were available to them – giving them almost constant, on-demand, mutual contact with peers and strangers.

Parent Replacement

In addition, more parents were inclined to help introduce technology to gen Z children. Smartphones became a sort of transitional object assigned by parents as their substitute.[2] This is something millennial children never experienced because smartphones weren’t around when they were toddlers and young children.

More Competence and Confidence Online

Those exposed to the Internet at younger ages tend to be more savvy and aware of online dangers. Research demonstrates that gen Zs tend to have more confidence protecting themselves online than people who are 25 and older.[1].

Self-Guided Learning Opportunities

Those who love to self-direct their learning argue that early browsing offered opportunities that older generations didn’t have. They say that the internet offered them a tremendous breadth of opportunity and a depth of learning as they directed themselves into deeper and deeper learning.[3]

However, from a developmental stance, gen Z kids who use such advanced technology to assist them in critical thinking and comprehension can have downsides. One is known as the Google Effect, also known as digital amnesia. By using the Internet, we end up storing less information in our biological memory, becoming less knowledgeable overall.[4] Another problem is that gen Zs use advanced search engines and smartphones to cheat by looking up answers to homework and quizzes. Learn more in our GKIS articles, The Google Effect. Because Memorizing is So Yesterday and Siri and Alexa Help Kids Cheat on Homework.

Social Impacts

Internet access at young ages can have developmental effects on social development as well. Positive aspects include convenient social management tools during interpersonal conflicts, like pause or block options for regulation and impulse control, and the creation of virtual identities for experimentation and practice.[2]

Potential negative effects include feelings of social inadequacy and exclusion, increased risk of body dysmorphic disorders, and exposure to cyberbullying and interpersonal exploitation. Insta-Famous Brings Insta-Anxiety is a GKIS blog article that touches on the risks that can arise from using social media.

GKIS Tools That Can Help

Our free GKIS blog articles are an excellent source of information, from parenting tips to media headlines, child development, and much more.

Our Screen Safety Toolkit offers a great resource guide so you can find the tools necessary to implement proper management, monitoring, and supervision to navigate the Internet more safely.

To access all GKIS content and get everything you need in one place, check out our Screen Safety Essentials Course.

Thanks to CSUCI intern, Tracy Pizano for researching and writing about generational differences within Internet digital media consumption.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] Jiang, M., Tsai, H. S., Cotten, S. R., Rifon, N. J., LaRose, R., & Alhabash, S. (2016). Generational differences in online safety perceptions, knowledge, and practices. Educational Gerontology, 42(9), 621–634.
https://doi-org.ezproxy.csuci.edu/10.1080/03601277.2016.1205408

[2] Leskauskas, D. (2020). Generation Z—Everyday (living with an) auxiliary ego. International Forum of Psychoanalysis, 29(3), 169–174.
https://doi-org.ezproxy.csuci.edu/10.1080/0803706X.2019.1699665

[3] Ransdell, S., Kent, B., Gaillard, K. S., & Long, J. (2011). Digital immigrants fare better than digital natives due to social reliance. British Journal of Educational Technology, 42(6), 931–938. https://doi-org.ezproxy.csuci.edu/10.1111/j.1467-8535.2010.01137.x

[4] Heersmink, R. (2016). The Internet, cognitive enhancement, and the values of cognition. Minds and Machines: Journal for Artificial Intelligence, Philosophy and Cognitive Science, 26(4), 389–407. https://doi-org.ezproxy.csuci.edu/10.1007/s11023-016-9404-3

Photo Credits

Photo #1 (https://www.istockphoto.com/search/2/image?phrase=millennials)

Photo #2 (https://www.istockphoto.com/search/2/image?phrase=teen+on+phone)

Photo #3 (https://depositphotos.com/102799740/stock-photo-children-using-mobile-phones.html)