Addiction Issues

Pornography Blocking Sites and a Firsthand Account of Pornography Addiction

December 4, 2023 by Samantha Sanchez

It’s no secret that porn has taken over the virtual world. But many aren’t aware that their tweens and teens are at risk for porn addiction. Today we’re looking at a candid first-hand account of someone whose porn addiction started at the age of 12. We’re also taking a glimpse at porn-blocking sites and our tips for recovery. If you’d like to find out what it takes to protect your kid from the dangers of the net and learn info on parental controls and monitoring, check out our GKIS Screen Safety Toolkit.

The Dangers of Porn

As mentioned in our article Online Pornography’s Impact on Kids and Teens, pornography consumption has grown. With adult sites like Pornhub growing more popular, our youth are at risk of developing a porn addiction more than ever.

According to Dr. Bennett, the demographic most at risk for porn addiction is adolescents with troubled familial relations.[1] For years, the common stereotype was that mainly boys were at risk for porn addiction. But times have changed. Girls are just as present on the internet, meaning all our youth are at risk for developing a porn addiction.

In the Online Pornography’s Impact on Kids and Teens article, Dr. B goes over the effects of regular pornography consumption, which could include the following:

Earlier sexual intercourse
Normalization of violence against women
Sexual aggression
Desensitization and habituation (this means the user may get used to less extreme content and will have to view more extreme content to get the same feeling of satisfaction.)
Hypersexual Disorder, is a disorder that causes one to engage in or think about sex to the point that it affects their life.[2]

For a deeper dive into porn addiction and how it can affect your child, check out Dr. B’s book, Screen Time in the Meantime: A Parenting Guide to Getting Kids Internet Safe.

A Firsthand Account of Pornography Addiction

Chase is a former pornography addict. He opened up and gave us insight into what it’s like being addicted and how it affected his mental health.

“When I was addicted to pornography, I think I was about 12 or 13 years old. It lasted until I turned 23 and it was a daily occurrence. I was consuming porn in different forms around 3 to 4 times a day,” he said.

Chase claimed that he got used to consuming porn quickly and talked about how it became a demanding habit. “It felt very infectious to my lifestyle. I’d pick up the phone and have to indulge in porn. Done doing a specific activity? Browsing [porn] again. It felt like if I didn’t get as much satisfaction from a ‘session,’ the next session had to fit a specific theme or fetish.”

Chase discussed how his porn addiction started creeping into other places in his life, saying “It got so bad to the point where it infected other things that aren’t even related to it in the first place. Looking up specific people, fetishes, and at its worst, trying to find easier avenues or different ways to access content. It was bad.”

He got even more candid with us, explaining how the addiction became mentally and physically invasive. “I think it affected my mental state very much. I don’t have too much experience in mental challenges when it comes to myself anyway, but it impacted my ability to follow daily habits and schedules, and at its worst, caused me to cancel plans.”

When asked about his advice for addiction prevention advice for those suffering from porn addiction, he replied “It’d be to not create any accounts for anything porn related. Limit yourself slowly over time, and don’t let yourself lose sight of what the future version you have of yourself would do, and slowly become that. You aren’t alone and reach out for help if you need it.”

Shame and How It Prevents Recovery

Because of the taboo nature of pornography, many people battling porn addictions experience feelings of shame and guilt. It’s why most people keep their addiction hidden for so long before seeking help. Some experience shame so much that they never seek help.

We see shame as a huge problem. In a study titled “Hidden in shame: Heterosexual men’s experiences of self-perceived problematic pornography use,”15 men were interviewed about their experience with porn. Nearly all of them stated that they grew up never talking or learning about sex education with their parents. They also stated that viewing pornography is taboo and it was difficult for them to seek help due to fear of rejection.[3]

One participant even sought help through a doctor when they were experiencing a reduced libido that stemmed from porn addiction. The doctor not only had nothing to offer him, but he immediately referred him to a male fertility specialist for testosterone treatments that cost him hundreds of dollars.[4]

Porn Site Blockers

Of course, it’s best to not even visit porn sites in the first place. But if you worry you have a problem, here are some porn-blocking tools that may help.

Disclaimer: GKIS is not sponsored or partnered with any of the porn-blocking sites listed.

Canopy

Canopy is an app that blocks porn sites, blocks apps, schedules screen time and downtime, and sexting prevention through image and text detection.[5] Parents or spouses set up their host account on their device followed by the kid/main user account on the kid/user’s device. The parent or spouse oversees the control settings and monitors the other device.

FamiSafe

FamiSafe is another app that blocks porn websites on any device. Like Canopy, parents have access to controls and internet usage. Parents can track social media usage, set screen time limits, track location, monitor keywords searched or sent via text, and more. Parents are notified when their kids are texting about inappropriate topics or when they’re at a location they shouldn’t be.[6]

CovenantEyes and the Victory App

CovenantEyes is a porn detector and blocker. It’s paired with its companion tool, the Victory app, to scan for suspicious activity, send reminders and check-ins, and issue mini-courses to see your progress.[7] CovenantEyes also offers Christian resources for followers struggling with porn addiction.

GKIS Tips for the Road to Recovery

Porn-blocking sites are useful but not foolproof. So, GKIS has tips for parents of children suffering from porn addiction.

It is healthy and appropriate for children to be curious about the human body and sexuality. For tips about how to offer shame-free sex education, check out our 4-article series starting with 6 Parenting Tips for Making Sex Ed Easier!
In addition to using home-setup strategies detailed in our Connected Family Course and parental monitoring tools listed in our Screen Safety Toolkit, consistently spot-check your child’s screen device. Talking to your child about spot-checking may steer them away from adult content since they know their device may be checked anytime.
Let them know this is the family policy before you buy them screen devices. That way they won’t feel lied to, betrayed, or spied upon if you do find questionable content. And if you do find something, allow that to be a teaching opportunity rather than a punishing opportunity. Your best safety tool is a healthy, collaborative parent-child relationship.
Limiting time on specific apps may be a useful tool for recovery. Apps like Instagram, Twitter, and Reddit are some of the most popular apps for adult film stars to promote their content. (Most smartphones report the time used on each app in ‘Settings.’)
A reward system for good progress may be of good use for porn addiction recovery. Although it may seem like an old-fashioned method, rewarding good behavior has been researched and proven to be effective. Whether it’s a new book, dinner at their favorite restaurant, or a trip to the movies, rewards (with verbal affirmations) can give your child the motivation to stay on the path to recovery.
If you are considering allowing social media apps for your tween or teen, our Social Media Readiness Course offers information about the risks of digital injury and helpful psychological wellness tools as well!

Battling pornography addiction is hard for anyone, let alone our youth. Whether you have a teen or tween battling addiction or simply want to help them surf the internet safely, GKIS has multiple resources to help you get there. Whether you’re utilizing our Screen Safety Toolkit or simply giving our sex ed articles a read, GKIS is here to make it a smoother journey for you.

A special thanks to Chase for sharing his story.

Thanks to CSUCI intern Samantha Sanchez for preparing this article and researching porn addiction.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
Onward to More Awesome Parenting

Dr. Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.

Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty

GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] Online Pornography’s Impact on Kids and Teens (https://getkidsinternetsafe.com/porn/)

[2] Screentime in the Meantime: A Parenting Guide to Get Kids and Teens Internet Safe (https://getkidsinternetsafe.com/parenting-guide/)

[3] Sniewski, L., & Farvid, P. (2020). Hidden in shame: Heterosexual men’s experiences of self-perceived problematic pornography use. Psychology of Men & Masculinities, 21(2), 201–212. https://doi-org.ezproxy.csuci.edu/10.1037/men0000232

[4] Ibid.

[5] Canopy (https://canopy.us/2023/02/16/best-porn-blocker/)

[6] FamiSafe (https://canopy.us/2023/02/16/best-porn-blocker/)

[7] CovenantEyes (https://www.covenanteyes.com/how-it-works/)

Photo Credits

Charlesdeluvio via Unsplash (https://unsplash.com/photos/hand-mannequin-holding-green-cactus-plant-RoB4hHjW_fc)

Franco Alva via Unsplash (https://unsplash.com/photos/man-in-black-t-shirt-using-black-laptop-computer-aqFzxyC3rf8)

Annie Spratt via Unsplash (https://unsplash.com/photos/man-in-black-t-shirt-lying-on-couch-rmKkZqnVtk4)

Drug Dealers Use Social Media to Hook Teen Girl on Fentanyl

September 3, 2022 by GetKidsInternetSafe

Drug addiction is on the rise with many drug dealers finding teen customers on social media.[1] Once engaged with the dealer, teens are vulnerable to drug use, solicitation for nude photos and videos, coercion, extortion, and even violence. Once hooked, dealers may also use their victims to recruit other teens. Improving their methods one teen at a time, dealers become experts at persuading kids to try that first pill, often lying about what it is and how it may affect them. Most parents would deny that their kids are at risk, insisting that they’ve spoken to them and know their kids would never be so foolish. But if you’re not tracking content on your kids’ devices because you believe they deserve digital privacy, can you be so sure? To help close risk gaps and set appropriate expectations, check out our Screen Safety Essentials Course. With weekly family and parenting videos, you can be confident that you are doing all you can to protect your kids from risks like these. Today’s GKIS article shares a true story about a 16-year-old girl who got caught up in this shocking series of tragic events driven by social media use. Learn about how she got started, the workarounds she used, and what her parents would recommend to help keep your teens safe.

Morgan’s Story

Tom recently shared a tragic story with us about his 16-year-old stepdaughter, Morgan. Morgan is like any high school sophomore. She loves fashion, her friends, and her 17-year-old boyfriend, Parker. She earns straight As and loves to ride horses. Tom and his wife Julie frequently have Morgan’s friends and boyfriend over to the house to hang out and occasionally Morgan and Parker would go out too. Parker seemed like a good kid, and they insisted on meeting his parents right from the beginning. They didn’t think twice when, over time, Morgan started mouthing off, rolling her eyes, and pushing back against the rules. They figured it was normal adolescent boundary-pushing. Besides, Julie and Morgan moved to this new community only a year ago before Tom and Julie got married. They figured there would be some growing pains as she figured out her new school and friend situation.

Over time, however, Morgan’s defiance escalated. She was constantly on her phone, isolating herself in her room, coming home past curfew, and eventually started sneaking out at odd times “to go for a walk.” Grounding her and taking her phone didn’t seem to help, and Julie was reticent to repeatedly punish her due to the screaming fights that would ensue when she tried to implement consequences. Julie felt like maintaining a cooperative alliance with Morgan was more effective than punishment. So, she worked hard to spend time with her daughter and felt that she’d grow out of the teen attitude.

More Than Teen Rebellion

Tom realized it was more than teen rebellion when his neighbor, who worked in law enforcement, came by and reported that he’d seen Morgan buying drugs from different men that would drive up to her during her walks. Julie and Tom were shocked and terrified. They put Morgan into therapy and drug-tested her. When she came up positive for multiple drugs, they put her in intensive outpatient therapy for teens who abuse drugs. They tightened up on their rules and hoped that everything would sort out now that Morgan was getting professional help.

Over time, Morgan’s attitude got better, and she said she liked her therapists. Until one day Julie discovered fentanyl tablets in Morgan’s room and realized they needed to investigate further. Although Julie was still reticent to invade Morgan’s privacy, Tom insisted they confiscate Morgan’s phone and restrict social media and socializing privileges until they could better understand and control the situation.

Phone Content Reveals the “Real” Story

When they accessed Morgan’s phone, they discovered she was swept up in many dealings with multiple drug dealers, most of them adults and some in gangs. They also saw text exchanges that demonstrated that she and her boyfriend were offering nude photos and videos of them having sex in exchange for drugs. It was also clear that Morgan had sex with some of the dealers in exchange for drugs. Julie and Tom were heartbroken and reached out to law enforcement.

From the phone content, several arrests ensued and Morgan filed a restraining order against Parker. The videos revealed that both teens were under the influence during the sexual encounters and Parker may even be charged with a crime since Morgan is heard saying “no” in some of the videos.

Morgan was immediately enrolled in an online charter school and has been admitted to several inpatient drug rehabilitation programs. She takes the prescription drug, Suboxone, to help her avoid opioid withdrawal and stay off fentanyl. Tom and Julie deleted her social media profiles and don’t allow her any screen use except when she borrows her mom’s phone for browsing here and there. Despite these measures, she has found alternative ways to communicate with old friends by using and sneaking other people’s devices and using the computers at school. As she “unlearns” the manipulative, unhealthy behaviors typical of addiction, she has been kicked out of various schools, friend groups, extracurricular activities, treatment centers, and therapy groups. It will be a long road to healing for Morgan. Although Julie and Tom did the best they could, they wish they would have done more and sooner.

Tom’s Take-Away Advice

When we asked Tom what he wish he’d have done, he shared the following suggestions:

If I had known how rampant drug sales are among middle and high school students on social media platforms like Snapchat and Instagram, I would not have allowed any social media until the age of 16 minimum

I would have set up more stringent monitoring on all devices and computers, and I would have provided a talk-and-text-only phone with no way to add apps and no way to access the Internet until the age of 16.

I would have volunteered to be the pickup parent instead of the drop-off. Kids are smart. They knew I would catch them if they were under the influence when I picked them up.

I would have shut off our Wi-Fi network every night and checked which devices were using our Wifi. Morgan was able to sneak a “burner phone” at night until he realized that he could monitor WiFi use.

Finally, I would have set up random drug testing as a general policy. Parents who assume that they have no reason to drug test their kids because they’re athletes, straight-A students, or generally good kids still can’t be confident their kids are not being influenced by dangerous others. Drug testing is an insurance policy to help keep your kids alive.

If you want to get into smart parenting habits before your kids run into trouble:

Use our free Connected Family Screen Agreement (and weekly GKIS Blog articles) to set rules and expectations when your kids first get ownership over digital devices and social media platforms. The first rule is that nothing on your device is private, and parents get anytime access.

Purchase our Screen Safety Essentials Course to support the whole family and parenting team for better screen safety and a more honest and cooperative home life.

Check out Social Media Readiness Course for tweens and teens. This course offers 10 modules that teach screen safety issues and psychological wellness tools to optimize mental health in both real-life and digital landscapes. Each module offers a quiz to demonstrate mastery of content.

Finally, talk to your kids, be consistent with monitoring and screen use rules, and don’t assume they won’t experiment with dangerous situations. To learn more about which social media platforms are popular for drug deals and the emoticons they use, check out our article A Teen’s Addicts Confessions About Online Workarounds.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Photo Credits

Photo by Myriam Zilles on Unsplash

Photo by sebastiaan stam on Unsplash

Photo by MART PRODUCTION, https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-man-and-a-woman-leaning-on-a-vandalized-wall-7231496/

Photo by Aphiwat Chuangchoem,

Photo by John Schnobrich on Unsplash

Will Social Media Companies Be Sued for Addicting Kids?

April 18, 2022 by Mackenzie Morrow

Recently, practices and policies enacted by social media companies have come under public scrutiny for their harmful effects on kids and teens. Many parents, public figures, and experts have expressed that screen addiction is a rampant issue being faced by kids, teens, and adults. Figuring out how to best protect your family in the online world can be tough. For some help in this area, check out Dr. Bennet’s Screen Safety Toolkit which comes with recommendations, how-to information, and links to easy-to-onboard parental control systems. To combat the issue in California, lawmakers are proposing a bill that would allow the parents of children who have become addicted to social media apps to sue the companies that own them.[1]

Social Media Platform Duty to Children Act

The Social Media Platform Duty to Children Act, formally known as Assembly Bill 2408, is the latest in a string of political endeavors to crack down on the exploitation of children by social media companies. The bill was introduced to the California State Assembly by two bipartisan lawmakers, Democrat Buffy Wicks of Oakland and Republican Jordan Cunningham of Paso Robles and with support from the University of San Diego School of Law Children’s Advocacy Institute.[1] Its creation is likely a response to internal documents leaked by whistleblowers from prominent social media companies. The documents leaked provide evidence that some social media companies have been aware of the harmful effects of some of their practices and policies on children, yet they continue to implement them without safeguards.

For more information about screen addiction, how to spot it in your kids, and ways to combat it, order Dr. Tracy Bennet’s book, Screen Time in the Mean Time: A Parenting Guide to Get Kids and Teens Internet Safe. Dr. Bennett understands that technology is a helpful tool that is here to stay, but also recognizes that it imposes risks like screen addiction due to effective manipulative designs that hack our brains’ reward systems. Using her decades of expertise as a clinical psychologist and mom, Dr. B’s developed family-tested parenting strategies that will help you build the tools you need to help your family navigate today’s technological pitfalls.

Details, Penalties, and Exemptions

Information provided by the Children’s Advocacy Institute explains that, if passed, the bill would first obligate social media companies to avoid engaging in any practices or policies that are harmful or injurious to child users. This may include forcing the companies to eliminate or change design features or data collection practices that contribute to or promote addictive behaviors. If the companies fail to comply with these standards, parents and guardians will be empowered to seek legal action in the form of a lawsuit on behalf of their children who were harmed by the companies’ products.

According to the Institute, damages may potentially include $1,000 or more per child in a class-action suit or up to $25,000 per child per year in a civil penalty. The legislatures who introduced the bill speculate that companies will adopt a varied range of potential compliance solutions that may include changes to certain algorithms or simply not allow kids to sign up anymore. Additionally, representatives of the Institute state that there will be a provision that prevents responsible companies who take basic steps to avoid implementing practices, features, or policies that contribute to children’s addictions to their platforms. Further, social media companies that make less than $1oo million per year will be exempt from penalties.[1]

The Argument for Introducing the Bill

The two lawmakers behind the bill expressed their reasoning for introducing it during the State Assembly. Rep. Jordan Cunningham stated that tech companies willfully design their social media platforms and products with features that make kids and teens want to spend more and more time engaging with them to the point that they begin exhibiting addictive behaviors. He argues that tech companies should stop profiting from child harm and instead share in the cost of treating screen-addicted kids. Rep. Cunningham also explained that social media should be regulated the same way that any other products consumed by children are regulated and for the same reason, to keep them safe.[1]

Facebook Whistleblower

The most prominent whistleblower is a former data scientist at Facebook, Frances Haugen, who leaked internal documents containing evidence about Facebook’s extensive knowledge of Instagram’s negative effects on young girls’ body images. Facebook, which also owns Instagram, had compiled studies with alarming statistics. One such study found that 32% of teens said they felt worse about their bodies after using Instagram.[2]

In 2021, Haugen presented the documents during a congressional hearing during which several members expressed deep dissatisfaction with Facebook’s practices. Subcommittee Chair Richard Blumenthal stated that, despite being aware of these statistics, “Facebook exploited teens using powerful algorithms that amplified their insecurities.”[2] Haugen argued that lawmakers must examine the algorithms that drive popular features as well as the data collecting practices used by Facebook and Instagram. Assembly Bill 2408 aims to sidestep Section 230 which protects social media platforms from being liable for third-party content.

Thanks to CSUCI intern, Mackenzie Morrow for researching The Social Media Platform Duty to Children Act and co-authoring this article.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] Contreras, B. (2022). California bill would let parents sue social media companies for addicting kids. Los Angeles Times. https://www.latimes.com/business/technology/story/2022-03-16/california-bill-would-let-parents-sue-social-media-companies-for-addicting-kids

[2] Allyn, B. (2021). Here are 4 key points from the Facebook whistleblower’s testimony on Capitol Hill. NPR. https://www.npr.org/2021/10/05/1043377310/facebook-whistleblower-frances-haugen-congress

Photo Credits

Photo by Liliana Drew (https://www.pexels.com/photo/kids-in-costumes-playing-games-with-tablet-computer-8506374/)

Photo by Tara Winstead (https://www.pexels.com/photo/red-and-blue-us-a-flag-8850737/)

Photo by Magnus Mueller (https://www.pexels.com/photo/photo-of-hand-holding-a-black-smartphone-2818118/)

Photo by Mikhail Nilov (https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-in-black-tank-top-and-blue-denim-jeans-8670186/)

I Survived a Digital Detox and So Can You!

March 23, 2022 by Haley Begun

Do you find yourself wasting precious time and energy on your screen devices? Does consuming digital content distract you from connecting deeply with yourself, others, and nature? If so, you are not alone. The average American spends 5 hours a day on smartphones, and 61% admit to being addicted to the internet and their devices.[1] When researching this article, I was shocked to find that I may be an internet addict! So, I challenged myself to a week-long digital detox to better understand the benefits of managing time, forming deeper connections, and seeking fulfilling triggers for natural dopamine. If you’re hooked too, check out Dr. Bennett’s book, Screen Time in the Mean Time. She covers why our screens are so compelling and creative ways to break the spell. Screen Time in the Mean Time is particularly critical for parents to assess the impacts that screen use has on their kids.

Digital Dopamine

The happiness we experience from eating ice cream on a hot summer day is similar to the happiness we experience from receiving notifications from our digital devices. Dopamine is responsible for that happiness. Dopamine is the feel-good chemical produced by our brain’s pleasure center that plays a starring role in motivation, desire, and behavior.[2] Dopamine gets released when we experience joy – like taking a bite of delicious food, having sex, exercising, or having fun talking to a friend. In an evolutionary context, dopamine rewards us for doing beneficial behaviors and motivates us to repeat them.[2]

Once dopamine is released, our brain craves more of the same or similar sources of stimuli. Smartphones provide a virtually unlimited supply of social stimuli, positive and negative. Every notification, whether it’s a text message or a “like” on Instagram or Facebook, has the potential for gushing dopamine.[2] However, most of us agree that digital dopamine feels more artificial than the dopamine released during real-life magical moments. If we restrict addictive digital habits that lead to dopamine dependency, we’ll train our brains to be at peace and content without distraction for longer durations. Contentment without distraction leads to less stress overall and more productivity.

What is a digital detox?

The Oxford Dictionary defines digital detox as, “A period of time during which a person refrains from using electronic devices such as smartphones or computers, regarded as an opportunity to reduce stress or focus on social interaction in the physical world.”[3]

According to Psychology Today, a digital detox does not always mean complete abstinence. Many people use their digital devices for essential business, educational, and familial purposes.[4]

Do you need to do a digital detox?

Do you …

feel anxious or stressed if you can’t find your phone?
feel compelled to check your phone every few minutes?
feel depressed, anxious, or angry after spending time on social media?
get preoccupied with the like, comment, or reshare counts on your social media posts?
feel afraid that you’ll miss something if you don’t keep checking your device?
often find yourself staying up late or getting up early to play on your phone?
have trouble concentrating on one thing without having to check your phone?
experience a low self-image due to comparing yourself to others online?
not spend enough time moving around or engaging in exercising or mind/body-related activities?
watch screens while eating meals, resulting in disoriented eating patterns which can lead to weight gain or restrictive eating habits.?[5]

If several of these issues apply to you, consider challenging yourself to a detox!

My Digital Detox Experience

On day one of my digital detox, I felt uncomfortable, yet relieved, from my sense of detachment. I knew I was missing out on online conversations, content, news, and media. But I didn’t mind because I was spending time on outlets that drew me closer to my life instead. My attention and focus improved. I also noticed instant behavior, mood, and energy enhancements. I felt more productive, efficient, and happily regulated.

My quality of sleep also improved significantly! Before my detox, I was on my phone late at night or first thing in the morning due to an influx of demanding notifications. That often tanked my mood moment one. Once detoxed though, I didn’t feel the need to check on what other people were doing because I was entirely focused on what I was doing. I also felt more self-confident because I wasn’t comparing myself to everybody else’s perfect selfies, relationships, and amazing vacations.

Don’t get me wrong, I was tempted! Especially in those boring moments. But after a while, I learned to happily pick up a book, go for a walk, make home-cooked meals, play with my dogs, or journal. These activities released natural and rewarding dopamine throughout my mind, body, and soul.

Overall, after my week-long digital detox, I preferred to stay disconnected. Now two weeks later, I feel more focused, connected, healthy, and happy! I feel empowered having broken that dependence on instant gratification, media engagements, and feedback.

The Benefits of a Digital Detox

Engaging in hobbies that release yummy dopamine in the brain
More time to get things done
Happy and steadied mood
Self-focused rather than the compare and despair of social media
Better eating, sleeping, and thinking patterns

How To Get Started

Pay attention to your emotions when you use your phone.

Schedule breaks from phone
Use apps to track usage
Disconnect at night before bed to wind down
Turn off notifications or put them on a later home screen on your phone
Time spent online– individuals who aim to abstain from digital devices during certain times of the day, or even certain days of the week can schedule a digital curfew. For example, no usage after 9 PM, or no usage on Sundays. Such strategies are helpful for ensuring productivity during the day and better sleep and rest at night.
Digital-free Spaces- Some British pubs have enacted a ‘no phones, no laptops, no tablets’ policy to encourage social conversation. Similarly, some people have started specifying digital-free spaces in their own homes. This commonly includes spaces such as the bedroom or the dinner table.
Alternatives. Many people are using social media and digital devices to fill a social void. A successful digital detox will create free time for alternative activities, which may better fill this void. Individuals can create an action plan in this regard, which may include rekindling old interests, pursuing new hobbies, or volunteering for a sense of fulfillment.

GKIS Courses Can Help

Our Screen Safety Essential Course gives you access to the tools and resources that you need to safely navigate today’s world. Our Essentials Course grants you instant access to useful videos, workshops, articles, and more.
Screen Time in the Mean Time is the parenting guide needed in this digital age. Dr. B’s book provides tangible ways to keep your family safe and connected while utilizing technology.
Our GKIS Social Media Readiness Course allows teens an opportunity to start taking accountability for their actions online and become proactive instead of reactive.
Our GKIS Screen Safety Toolkit is a resource guide perfect for those that need smart tech tools for filtering, monitoring, and management plus some time to find workarounds.

Thanks to CSUCI intern Haley Begun for researching and co-authoring this article about the signs and benefits of a needed digital detox!

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

Brown, Eileen. “Americans Spend Far More Time on Their Smartphones than They Think.” ZDNet, ZDNet, 28 Apr. 2019, https://www.zdnet.com/article/americans-spend-far-more-time-on-their-smartphones-than-they-think/.

Stephen Hartley, et al. “Dopamine, Smartphones & You: A Battle for Your Time.” Science in the News, 4 Feb. 2021, https://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2018/dopamine-smartphones-battle-time/.

“Digital Detox: Meaning & Definition for UK English.” Lexico Dictionaries | English, Lexico Dictionaries, https://www.lexico.com/definition/digital_detox.

Social Media and Mental Health: Time for a Digital Detox … https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talking-about-men/202002/social-media-and-mental-health-time-digital-detox.

Cherry, Kendra. “The Benefits of Doing a Digital Detox.” Verywell Mind, Verywell Mind, 20 Nov. 2020, https://www.verywellmind.com/why-and-how-to-do-a-digital-detox-4771321.

Photo Credits

Photo by Mo, https://unsplash.com/photos/NKhckz9B78c

Photo by Marvin Meyer, https://unsplash.com/photos/SYTO3xs06fU

Photo by Carl Heyerdahl, https://unsplash.com/photos/KE0nC8-58MQ

Photo by Emily Underworld, https://unsplash.com/photos/Ko3EMBFggok

A Teen’s Addicts Confessions About Online Workarounds

March 4, 2022 by Ashley Salazar

Imagine discovering that the “innocent” cartoon emoji pinging on your teen’s phone is not harmless fun, but instead a secret drug deal? To help you recognize dangerous dealings, I interviewed a recovering addict whose parents had no idea what he was up to until it was too late. With our Screen Safety Toolkit, you can get a head start with screen safety and prevention. The Screen Safety Toolkit is a resource guide that includes our best recommendations, how-to information, and easy links to our favorite easy-to-onboard parental control systems. Today’s GKIS article shares the true story of a young addict’s emoji workarounds, how to spot dangerous online dealings, and offers great tips to maintain your children’s safety when interacting online.

What are emojis?

Emojis are small digital icons that are readily available on screen devices. Emojis range from facial expressions to common objects, places, animals, and more. According to a report from the emotional marketing platform Emogi, about 92% of online users use emojis.[1,2]

The Pros and Cons of Emoji use

Pros

Emojis add fun and excitement to conversations and social media posts- help convey emotions in online chats. They are particularly helpful because of the lack of nonverbal cues online, such as body language or facial expressions. For example, testing “sure.” suggests annoyance, while “sure 😊” suggests happy agreement.[3]

Cons

Although emojis were originally intended to represent simple concepts, teenagers also use these symbols for encrypted messages about drugs and other illicit activities. Encrypted emoji messages enable life-threatening drugs to reach communities faster, easier, and cheaper.

At a glance, a conversation on your child’s phone may appear to be about being at the gas station but instead is about buying marijuana laced with fentanyl, a synthetic opioid that is 80-100 times stronger than morphine.[4,5,7,8]

How to Tell if Emojis are Indicative of Illicit Drug Use

According to the Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA), the use of emojis alone should not be indicative of illegal activity. Concerns should be raised if the use of emojis is simultaneously accompanied by changes in behavior or appearance or a significant loss or increase in income. The DEA has even published drug decoding sheets for the public’s awareness.[4,6]

A Young Addicts Story

To better understand the workarounds of encrypted messaging, I interviewed a recovering addict. He reported that when he first started his drug use, he would use specific social media platforms to help keep his drug addiction a secret from family and friends.

Here are the tips he revealed:

Snapchat

The DEA reports that Snapchat is the number one social media platform for online drug activity, and my contact confirms that he and his dealers used it too. He explained that Snapchat is an application where people can keep conversations hidden. Snapchat has specific settings that allow users to quickly view pictures, videos, or messages that will disappear after viewing.

Privacy settings on Snapchat also allow users to ensure that only specific people can view what they refer to as “stories.” The young addict remembers his drug dealers adding him as a friend on Snapchat. From there he would track emoji-coded advertisements on their “stories” that revealed which drugs were available for sale.[6]

Venmo

Venmo was another platform that was used by the young addict. Venmo is an application that allows money transfers between users. LendEDU revealed that nearly 1/3 of their survey participants admitted to using this app to pay for drugs.

My interviewee admitted that this was not initially the way he paid for his drug transactions. Instead, before gaining the trust of his drug dealers, they’d come to his home to drop off the drugs and receive payment in only cash after sending an emoji encrypted text that they were outside. His mother reports being very scared to find out that her son’s drug dealers knew where their family lived, which made her reluctant to report the drug dealer to law enforcement officials despite figuring out his identity.[9]

Encoded Texts

The mother I interviewed confirmed that encrypted text messages are a useful way to suppress adult suspicion. She explained that, if it were not for other indicative factors like his drastic weight loss, mood swings, and incomes loss she would have never expected phrases such as, “Do you have kitty cat?” to be an encrypted message referring to the drug ketamine. She remembers seeing other emoji codes and “cute names” for drugs, but not giving them much attention initially. She said she was overwhelmed trying to research on how to stop dangerous online conversations and seek the help he needed.

If you worry things are getting by you, let go of the guilt and let us do the research for you! Researching digital safety tools is overwhelming! But lucky for you, we’ve made it easy. Our GKIS Screen Safety Toolkit is a resource guide perfect for those that need smart tech tools for filtering, monitoring, and management plus some time to find workarounds.

Steps to Protect Teens from the Online Drug World

GKIS Connected Family Course

Dr. Bennett recognizes that it’s no longer possible to live a screen-free lifestyle or monitor 100% of the time. And it can be terrifying to know that kids can become victims of online predators and drug dealers. Our family-tested and outcome-based course helps you close screen risk gaps and improve family cooperation and closeness. Check it out to minimize risks and have easier dialogues for better parent-child relationships.

GKIS Social Media Readiness Training

Teen curiosity online can be dangerous and teens don’t always make sound decisions due to lack of experience and poor impulse control. Our GKIS Social Media Readiness Course allows teens an opportunity to start taking accountability for their actions online and become proactive instead of reactive.

GKIS Online Safety Red Flags For Parents

The story of the young addict demonstrates how parents can easily miss indications of digital injury and serious problems. Teenagers are becoming more innovative on how to keep their parents in the dark, such as emoji encrypted messages. With our GKIS Online Safety Red Flags For Parents, parents will learn what behavioral red flags they should be on the lookout for that may signal that a child is suffering from a digital injury.

Thanks to CSUCI intern Ashley Salazar for researching and co-authoring this article. If you suspect your loved one is struggling with substance abuse, please reach out for help. Contact your health insurance carrier or call SAMHSA’s National helpline for more resources and advice.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] Da Costa, A. (2021). What are Emojis How and When to Use Them. G Post.https://www.groovypost.com/howto/what-are-emojis-how-and-when-to-use-them/

[2]Shaul, B. (2015) Report 92% of Online Consumers Use Emoji (Infographic). Social Pro Daily. https://www.adweek.com/performance-marketing/report-92-of-online-consumers-use-emoji-infographic/

[3]Richards, M. (2019) The Importance of Emojis. Eternity. https://eternitymarketing.com/blog/the-importance-of-emojis

[4] Department of Justice Drug Enforcement Administration. (n.d.) Emoji Drug Code Decoded. One Pill Can Kill. https://www.dea.gov/sites/default/files/2021-12/Emoji%20Drug%20Code%20PDF_Final.pdf

[5] Alabama News Network Staff. (2020). What the Tech? The Secret Sex and Drug Messages Behind Some Emoji. https://www.alabamanews.net/2020/09/04/what-the-tech-the-secret-sex-and-drug-messages-behind-some-emoji/

[6] Jaeger, K. (2021) DEA Wants To Help Parents Decode The Emojis Young People Use To Discuss Marijuana And Other “Bomb Ass” Drugs. https://www.marijuanamoment.net/dea-wants-to-help-parents-decode-the-emojis-young-people-use-to-discuss-marijuana-and-other-bomb-ass-drugs/

[7] DEA United States Drug Enforcement Administration. (n.d.) Fentanyl. https://www.dea.gov/factsheets/fentanyl

[8]Department of Justice/Drug Enforcement Administration. (n.d.) Counterfeit Pills. https://www.dea.gov/sites/default/files/2021-05/Counterfeit%20Pills%20fact%20SHEET-5-13-21-FINAL.pdf

[9] One-Third of Millenials Are Using Venmo to Buy Drugs (2017) Mountainside.

https://mountainside.com/blog/drug-addiction/one-third-of-millennials-are-using-venmo-to-buy-drugs/

Photo Credits

Photo by Domingo Alvarez E (https://unsplash.com/photos/Cs3y8Mn6-Gk)

Photo by Sam Williams (https://unsplash.com/photos/H0nmXTsrxE0)

Photo by Collin Davis (https://unsplash.com/photos/c3m56pq0J1M)http://https://unsplash.com/photos/Cs3y8Mn6-Gk

3 GKIS Recommended Tips for Responding to Child Screen Withdrawal

May 5, 2021 by Avery Flower

Ninety-eight percent of American homes with kids under eight years old have a mobile screen device.[1] Often children as young as three years old have their own! These bright, glowing, pieces of technology are incredibly attractive for the developing mind, so it’s no wonder kids may feel agitated, bored, or stressed when they must put it down and get to homework. Tantrums at the end of screen time may be a sign of screen addiction. If you worry your child has the potential for screen addiction, empower yourself with the knowledge and expertise provided through Dr. Bennett’s Screen Safety Essentials Course. This program offers weekly parent and family-oriented coaching videos designed to provide you with the information, tips, and tricks that the modern family needs to use screens while staying safe and connected. Today’s article offers 3 GKIS recommended tips to effectively deal with these symptoms.

Hyperarousal & Screen Addiction

Immersing oneself with a screen device is associated with hyperarousal of our nervous system.[2] This type of arousal is associated with irritability in adults and tantrums in children.

Following hyperarousal, the brain attempts to return to balance with an opposite response. Sometimes this results in fatigue and low energy – as in “what goes up must come down.” Some consider this crash to be evidence of addictive withdrawal.

If your child is allowed too much screen time, especially with intense content, expect a tantrum followed by fatigue. Further, if a child repeatedly undergoes this neurological rollercoaster unchecked, excessive screen time can result in chronic mental health conditions.

A study by Anita Restrepo and colleagues analyzed 564 children and their screen usage. They found that the children with problematic internet use suffered from higher rates of sleep disturbance, depressive episodes, and a reduction in healthy behavior.[3] Gaming addiction symptoms, such as feelings of loss of control and play despite negative consequences to school and relationships, can also result from unchecked screen time.

Dr. Tracy Bennett developed the Social Media Readiness Course to empower tweens and teens to employ wellness strategies themselves. Utilizing these techniques backed by research and experience by Dr. B’s 25+ years in the field will aid in retraining your kid’s brain. Our course not only teaches screen use moderation but also offers important information about potential sources of digital injury and critical psychological wellness tools.

Validation and Support

If your child is demonstrating severe meltdowns after screen time, yelling at them will only escalate the situation. Instead, coach emotional stabilization by validating their experience (“You must feel really out of control right now”) and coaching them to calm down. Supportive teamwork teaches important wellness skills, builds problem-solving and resilience, and ultimately results in greater autonomy and less conflict and resentment.

Psychologists Shin and Kim analyzed two types of parenting approaches with screen use among 303 parents. Active mediation emphasizes family discussions about screen use. Restrictive mediation emphasizes one-sided rule-setting for screen devices. Families that use active mediation demonstrated better outcomes than those who preferred restrictive mediation.[4]

When a child is involved in family decision-making, they are given a greater sense of confidence and autonomy. As a result, they have a lower chance of developing resentment.[5] Completing a digital contract, like our free GKIS Connected Family Screen Agreement, is an awesome way to get started with cooperative dialogue and accountability!

Providing Incentive

Following through with priorities and practicing work before play are important life skills. This can be challenging for children when online work feels tedious, boring, and lacks a clear payoff. If your child seems to lose steam and get distracted with online work, rewarding effort with incentives can be helpful.

A study by Radhakrishnan and colleagues looking at 201 students found that giving incentives to complete homework increased their performance and completion rates.[6] Incentives can be material like a new toy, or experiential like a family picnic.

Material incentives are great occasionally but try not to let this be the only motivator that keeps your kid going. Dr. Bennett finds that kids habituate quickly from material rewards and they fail to work overtime. She says family activities celebrating your kid’s hard work well-done ends up working far better, especially when utilizing reward charts and checklists like the Bennett Boxes technique found in her book Screen Time in the Mean Time.

Don’t Give In

Children are incredibly clever at implementing pester power. Pester power wears us down until we cave and give in to their demands for toys, games, and screen time. Sometimes we might simply be exhausted and give them a “fine, 30 more minutes.” But what just happened there is a learning moment for your child. They learn that by bugging you incessantly, they will be rewarded

This parent-child dynamic exemplifies intermittent reinforcement, which means that a behavior that is rewarded occasionally will dramatically increase that behavior—just like with gambling. Once a behavior has been reinforced in this way, it’s more difficult to “undo” it later.[7]

To avoid this trap, stick to your rules with consistency and follow-through. This teaches your child that they can trust your word, and it’s not worth the fight to argue.

Thanks to CSUCI intern, Avery Flower for researching effective ways to deal with behavioral issues, and for co-authoring this article.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe

Photo Credits

Photo by Snapwire from Pexels

Photo by Free-Photos from Pixabay

Photo by August de Richelieu from Pexels

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

Works Cited

[1] Common Sense Media. (2017). The Common Sense Census: Media Use By Kids Age Zero to Eight. Retrieved from https://www.commonsensemedia.org/sites/default/files/uploads/research/csm_zerotoeight_fullreport_release_2.pdf

[2] Dunckley, V. L. (2017, June). Electronic Screen Syndrome: Prevention and Treatment. Retrieved from https://connect.springerpub.com/content/book/978-0-8261-3373-1/part/part02/chapter/ch12

[3] Restrepo, A., Scheininger, T., Clucas, J., Alexander, L., Salum, G. A., Georgiades, K., Paksarian, D., Merikangas, K. R., & Milham, M. P. (2020). Problematic internet use in children and adolescents: Associations with psychiatric disorders and impairment. BMC Psychiatry, 20. https://doi-org.ezproxy.csuci.edu/10.1186/s12888-020-02640-x

[4] Shin, W., & Kim, H. K. (2019). What motivates parents to mediate children’s use of smartphones? An application of the theory of planned behavior. Journal of Broadcasting & Electronic Media, 63(1), 144–159. https://doi-org.ezproxy.csuci.edu/10.1080/08838151.2019.1576263

[5] Roth, G., Assor, A., Niemiec, C. P., Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2009). The emotional and academic consequences of parental conditional regard: Comparing conditional positive regard, conditional negative regard, and autonomy support as parenting practices. Developmental Psychology, 45(4), 1119–1142. https://doi-org.ezproxy.csuci.edu/10.1037/a0015272

[6] Radhakrishnan, P., Lam, D., & Ho, G. (2009). Giving university students incentives to do homework improves their performance. Journal of Instructional Psychology, 36(3), 219–225.

[7] Bijou, S. W. (1957). Patterns of reinforcement and resistance to extinction in young children. Child Development, 28, 47–54. https://doi-org.ezproxy.csuci.edu/10.2307/1125999

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