Meeting people online can be fun and exciting, especially for teens. However, there are risks. If you want to prepare your child for these risks, check out the GKIS Social Media Readiness Course. You may have heard of popular adult dating apps likeTinder or Bumble. In this GKIS article, we cover 5 dating apps that are popularly used by teens that you probably have never heard of.
Yubo
Yubo is a location-based social networking app advertised for making new friends, but many people describe it as a dating app for teens.
This app contains many features such as:
Stream: share live stream videos with friends.
Chat: chat with friends and other app users.
Swipe: discover new friends nearby or around the world.
Find a community: connect with people who have the same interests by finding a community. The online communities range from art and sports to LGBTQ+.
Play: play games with friends like Q&A, Would You Rather and Let Them Guess.
Yubo’s age rating is 17+, but there is no age verification for this app, meaning any teen can use it and lie about their birthday.
Teendr
Teendr is marketed as a dating app for teens. On this app, users can meet and chat with new friends nearby based on their common interests like music, games, and more.
This app contains:
Unlimited swipe: swipe right to meet new people or left to ignore.
Search nearby: discover matches based on location.
Game & music sharing: meet people based on their gaming and music preferences, which they can share on the app.
Teendr is also rated 17+, with no age verification.
Spotafriend
Spotafriend is an app designed for teens to meet new people in their proximity. On the app store, it is described as “not a teen dating app,” but that’s what many teens are using it for.
Spotafriend includes:
Swipe: swipe right to become friends with someone.
Chat: chat privately when you get a match.
Spotafriend is rated 17+, but it is designed for ages 13-19.
The Game by Hot or Not
The Game by Hot or Not is another app that allows teens to meet people in their area. It is marketed as an app to find the ‘hottest’ people nearby.
This app includes:
Ratings: rate each other’s attractiveness by tapping a heart on your profiles.
Direct messages: Users who match (by liking each other’s profiles) can exchange messages.
Location services: find people in your proximity.
Age: Hot or Not was originally rated 17+, but is now 18+ with no age verification.
Skout
Skout is a social networking app that allows its users to meet people nearby or around the world.
The app features:
Preference and location: connect with people based on preferences and proximity.
Live broadcasting: broadcast live videos on the app and watch other’s videos.
Chat and upload photos: send direct messages, share photos, and like/comment on other users’ photos.
Promote: Skout claims to have in-app features that increase your chances of finding new people and chatting.
Skout is rated 17+, but only people 18+ are allowed to join. Again, there is no age verification.
Meeting and flirting with people online can be exciting and fun, but it can also come with risks.
Catfishing and Online Grooming
Not everyone on the internet is who they say they are. Some people make fake profiles to deceive other users, which is called catfishing. On dating apps and social media, your teen can get exposed to sexual predators who use catfishing and grooming techniques to gain their trust.
Sexting
Oftentimes, teens exchange their phone numbers and Snapchat usernames when they connect with others online. This can easily lead to sending sexual messages and photos. According to Guardchild:
20% of teens have sent or posted semi-nude photos or videos of themselves
39% of teens have sent sexually suggestive messages online
Sexting is common among teens which can be scary if their photos end up in the wrong hands and are shared publicly. This can lead to bullying, blackmailing, and emotional distress for the victim. For more information about sexting, check out the GKIS article, How Texting Can Turn To Sexting in the Blink of an Eye.
Cyberbullying and Harassment
Using dating apps and social media increases the likelihood of your teen experiencing cyberbullying and online harassment. Your teen might experience hateful comments, stalkers, and receive unwanted sexual messages.
Click here to read a GKIS survivor’s story about teen bullying and sexual abuse.
If you see your teen using dating apps…
Don’t panic. Most likely, many of your teen’s peers are also using the same apps.
Have an open discussion about the risks of dating or social networking apps.
Teach them to turn off location services for apps to disable people from seeing where they are.
Encourage them to approach you if anything makes them feel uncomfortable online.
Remember that it’s okay to say no, especially if they are too young to have an account.
Betts, J. (n.d.). Teen Dating Apps. Retrieved December 03, 2020, from https://teens.lovetoknow.com/relationships/teen-dating-apps
Online Dating – The Risks For Teens. (n.d.). Retrieved December 03, 2020, from https://www.internetmatters.org/resources/teens-and-online-dating-advice-hub-for-parents/online-dating-the-risks-for-teens/
Online Dating Is Especially Risky For Teens. (2020, September 17). Retrieved December 03, 2020, from https://yourteenmag.com/social-life/tips-teen-dating/online-teen-dating
Team, F. (n.d.). Swipe right for trouble: Six teen dating apps parents need to know about. Retrieved December 03, 2020, from https://www.familyzone.com/anz/families/blog/six-teen-dating-apps-parents-need-to-know
Teenage Sexting Statistics. (n.d.). Retrieved December 03, 2020, from https://www.guardchild.com/teenage-sexting-statistics/
Updated: November 8, 2., Kelli Dugan, C., Bob D’Angelo, C., Natalie Dreier, C., & Jared Leone, C. (2019, November 08). Teen dating apps: 5 popular dating apps that parents need to know. Retrieved December 03, 2020, from https://www.whio.com/news/local/teen-dating-apps-popular-dating-apps-that-parents-need-know/KQGkhTpFCxeyrmLejeODpN/
According to the International Labor Organization, there are an estimated 40.3 million victims of human trafficking globally, with 25% of those victims being children.[1] All youth are vulnerable to human trafficking. However, youth that are in foster care, identify as LGBTQ+, have run away, and are from abusive households are at the highest risk.[2] With online recruitment on the rise, grooming can take place right under our noses. This GKIS article covers what you need to know about human trafficking to keep your family safe from online predators.
Human Trafficking and Grooming
Human trafficking is “the acquisition of people by improper means such as force, fraud, or deception, with the aim of exploiting them.”[3] Often traffickers groom their victims online for days and even months before asking to meet in real life. Grooming is the act of building a relationship and trust, with the intent to manipulate and exploit the other person.[4]
As devices become more accessible to younger generations, their chances of encountering an online predator increases as well. With this in mind, we must take proper precautions when granting children screen-time. Let us help you with our free Connected Family Screen Agreement, a step-by-step digital contract that will help you clarify expectations, implement an expert action plan, and create a connection for safety and resilience. You can find the opt-in box in the right-hand corner of the GetKidsInternetSafe home page.
Recent Findings
According to the U.S National Human Trafficking Hotline, the number of trafficking crisis cases increased by more than 40% following shelter-in-place orders.[5]Crisis cases are defined as cases that require assistance with transportation, shelter, and law enforcement involvement within twenty-four hours of the report. Because of stay-at-home orders and mandated quarantines, the captivity of victims is being reinforced. The pandemic has also cut off economic opportunities, leaving people to become vulnerable to exploitation in exchange for basic needs.
A 2019 data report from the Polaris Project found that the three most common trafficking situations include sex trafficking (escort services, illicit massage businesses, pornography), labor trafficking (domestic work, agriculture, traveling sales crews), and a combination of the two.[6] In addition, this report indicated the average age of victims of sex trafficking as seventeen and labor trafficking as twenty-two.
In a 2016 survey conducted by Thorn, 260 survivors of domestic minor sex trafficking reported that technology is increasingly being used as a means of making contact for recruitment. 55% of those survivors reported meeting their trafficker via text, websites, and apps.[7] Further, findings show that traffickers weaponize virtual communication to contact and groom multiple victims at a time.
Grooming Tactics and Testimony
Online recruitment comes in different forms, including boyfriending through dating apps, fake job listings, and online marketplaces.[8]Boyfriending is defined as feigned romantic interests in order to form a trusting relationship with the victim. Trafficking recruiters use this tactic to lure their victims with intimacy, security, and sweet nothings.
Rebecca Bender shared her experience with boyfriending and human trafficking in her 2020 YouTube video with Anthony Padilla. A single mother at 18, all she wanted was to get herself and her daughter to a better place. She met a man online that promised her security. After six months of dating, she took a leap of faith to be with him.
One night when they went out, the man turned the car around to a strip of buildings without lights. He told her that she needed to pay him back (for moving expenses to Las Vegas), by participating in escort services. He used fear and physical abuse to get Rebecca to comply. Little did she know that she would become enslaved for the next six years with three different traffickers.
Since her escape, she has become an advocate in the fight against human trafficking. She offers the advice, “If anyone is forcing you to do something you are not comfortable with, it doesn’t just have to feel like this big, giant word of human trafficking.”[9] She elaborated that secretive jobs, frequent traveling, and hypersexuality (beyond your boundaries) within a relationship could be signs of exploitation. If you or someone you know is a victim of human trafficking, the National Human Trafficking Hotline is fully operational at 1-888-373-7888.
Psychological Manipulation
According to Psychology Today, three psychological staples behind grooming include instilling fear, manipulation, and coercion.[10]
Fear
Fear, aggression, and anger are emotions that trigger the amygdala within our brains.[11] The amygdala is like our smoke detector, in that it helps us determine how to respond to a threat.
Because the amygdala develops before our prefrontal cortex (our calm reasoning center), teens often make decisions based on an emotional response rather than experience-informed logical reasoning.
Predators are adept at identifying vulnerable targets who demonstrate immaturity, blind obedience, or those who have a social and economic vulnerability (e.g. youth living in unstable households, living in poverty, or participating in early drug/alcohol use).[12]
Manipulation and Coercion
Coercion and manipulation in the context of human trafficking typically come in the form of ultimatums and threats to maintain control over their victims. Because kids do not have the cognitive development or experience to reason through complex situations, they often fall back on obeying authority when faced with conflict. Predators exploit this vulnerability to reinforce control.
Everyday Real-Time Accessibility
According to a report from January 2015 to December 2017, data from the Polaris Project shows that common internet platforms used for recruitment include Facebook, dating sites, Instagram, and websites like Craigslist and online chatrooms.[13] Increasing, child screen access offers accessibility and opportunity.
Earlier this year, a video of a 37-year-old mother going undercover as an 11-year-old girl on social media went viral.[14] Within hours of creating the Instagram account and being clear that she was underage, an influx of explicit messages from strangers flooded the inbox. From there, the undercover team arranged to meet the predator and he was arrested. Videos like this one demonstrate that kids can be easy targets online. For more information on accessibility and sensible tips, check out Dr. Bennett’s GKIS article on sex trafficking.
Oversharing on Social Media
Victims are often identified as targets based on their willingness to overshare online. Different platforms provide opportunities for oversharing, including locations identified with geotagged photos, the Snap Map on Snapchat, and the Check-In feature on Facebook. Some platforms even require your location on your phone to be turned on to gain access to specific filters. To learn more about the dangers of these location features, check out this GKIS article about oversharing.
Online Gaming
Kids can also be readily groomed by predators on gaming platforms. A relative of mine told a story of how she received a message when she was fifteen years old from another gamer she met in the game’s online public lobby. He sent her a message asking for pictures, demographic details, and her home address (even after clarifying that she was only fifteen). He told her, “It’s okay that you’re fifteen, I’m eighteen, it doesn’t matter.” After being denied, he confessed he was twenty-two years old.
With the help of information and insight she’d gained from open, informative family conversations, she knew that his behavior was dangerous. She instantly blocked him and has not heard from him since. What might have happened if her parents hadn’t been proactive in offering education and support?
Among Us is a game that is currently popular among youth. I recently investigated this game for risk. Sure enough, in the public lobby of the game, it was common to see minors exchanging ages and Snapchat handles. I have even seen children as young as nine playing this game (one being my cousin), and streamers as old as thirty playing as well.
Although your message may be directed towards one person in that online lobby, the chat feature is open for 5+ other strangers to see. There is an option to censor the chat for inappropriate comments, but the unmoderated chat cannot be turned off completely. The game does provide the opportunity to play in a private lobby that requires a code. If your child plays this game, I suggest this option for friends and family. For more information about the dangers of games containing chat features, check out this GKIS article about the dangers of online multiplayer games.
Social Media Readiness Course
With all of this in mind, our children must understand the bigger picture of screen safety and online accounts. It is our responsibility as parents to do everything in our power to protect our children, but you don’t have to do it alone. GKIS offers our Social Media Readiness Course. Tailored for kids, our Social Media Readiness Course helps tweens & teens get educated about the risks of digital injury as well as Dr. B’s tested psychological wellness techniques. Using modules and mastery quizzes, this online course offers expertise to parents and kids, so they can maintain a healthy alliance against digital injuries and online predators.
Thanks to CSUCI intern Kaylen Sanchez for researching the digital age of human trafficking for this GKIS article.
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
[9] Padilla, A. [AnthonyPadilla]. (2020, Nov 10). I spent a day with HUMAN TRAFFICKING SURVIVORS. [Video File]. Retrieved from: https://youtu.be/KGE_CUj0f1s
With smartphones everywhere, it’s not a surprise that teens prefer texting to other types of communication. As with all new technologies, there are risks and benefits. The risks that come with new technologies is why GKIS created the Cybersecurity and Red Flags Supplement for in depth guidance on what to look out for in our kids’ online worlds. Texting offers a quick and efficient way to communicate, but it has also brought a new type of messaging with it; sexting. Sexting is a form of texting, but it includes sexually explicit pictures, videos, or text messages. Seventy-five percent of teens between the ages of twelve and seventeen own a smartphone, making sexting an all too convenient option (Judge, 2012).
As the mother of an eleven year-old daughter who has her own smartphone and mainly communicates via texting, the thought of her participating in sexting is gut wrenching. Surveys reveal that 20% of teens between the ages of thirteen and nineteen have sent some type of sexually explicit message, with 38% reported having received a sexually explicit message as the intended or unintended recipient. Those who sext are associated with a higher risk of unsafe sexual behavior including having more sexual partners, not using protection during sexual intercourse, and drinking alcohol or some other substance before sexting/sex than those who have not (Judge, 2012).
As a mom I NEED to know how my child may be influenced into sexting, what those consequences may be, and how to prevent it!
How sexting starts
If a teen has access to their smartphone in their bedroom and out of their parent’s sight, what starts off as innocent texting with their crush or friend, can slowly turn into something else. I was at a presentation given by Dr. Tracy Bennett, CEO of GetKidsInternetSafe, and she explained how texting could lead to sexting. She elaborated,
“One night your child may be texting at night with her crush. He asks, “What are you wearing?” Your child responds, “My jammies.” Her crush begs, “Let me see.” Innocent right? Well night after night, these pictures can start to show less and less of the jammies and more and more bare skin. Boom! Your child has just sent her first sext message.” Slowly manipulating a child’s online behavior this way is called grooming.
The social norm among the friends your teen hangs out with on-and off-line may also encourage sexting behavior. Recent surveys found that up to 40% of child pornography images (Dr. Bennett prefers to call these “images of child sexual assault”) are self-produced, partly due to the emergence of young teens viewing online pornography and gradually mimicking sexualized behavior. Not only are teens producing their own pornographic content, but it is also being shared widely on the World Wide Web by pedophiles.
It’s easy for teens to succumb to online peer pressure and sexual grooming, because their prefrontal cortexes are not fully developed yet. The prefrontal region of the brain does not finish developing until a person is about 25 years old. This is the part of the brain that is responsible for skills like decision making, impulse control, and understanding the consequences of one’s actions. With a poorly developed prefrontal region, sexual drives and interests peaking, and smartphones constantly in-hand, teens are well primed to sexually act out online (Judge, 2012 & Ouystel, et al, 2015).
What consequences are associated with sexting?
One consequence of sending a sext is that consensual sexting can turn into coercion and aggravated sexting, commonly called sextortion. Once a teen has sent a sext, it may be impossible to get back or deleted. The once-trusted recipient can turn on the sender by using it as blackmail for extorting more explicit pictures from the sender. Common blackmail threats include telling parents or authority figures or sharing or uploading the images online where virtually anyone can gain access to it. This kind of behavior is called revenge porn.
You may also find it shocking that there are many revenge porn sites up and running. Online 26 states have revenge porn laws in place, and 11 others have laws pending. However, each state’s protection is different. For instance, California’s revenge porn laws are only enforceable when somebody other than the victim captured the image.
As you can imagine, sextortion can cause extreme emotional distress to the victim by arousing feelings of fear and anxiety that the blackmailer will follow through with their threats, or feelings of guilt for sending the photo in the first place. Furthermore, imagine being a teenager walking the main hall of high school wondering who has seen your images or commented among friends. The opportunity for cyberbullying and public shaming raises exponentially with nude and semi-nude images for the sharing.
Researchers report that sexting is being associated with high-risk sexual behaviors such as having unprotected sex with more partners than those who do not sext. A theory as to why this happens is sexting is viewed by some as a new way to flirt and gives the illusion that you “know” someone intimately, therefore making it easier to engage in sexual activity sooner than intended. Sexting can also serve as an icebreaker within the dating scene (Ouytset, et al., 2015 & Benotsch, 2010)
Some states view sexting as child pornography and even minor violators (browsers, sharers, and producers) are prosecuted. Ultimately that means the potential that a sexting teen could be included on a public sex offender list. Can you imagine your thirteen year old in that kind of jeopardy?
How can you prevent your child from sexting?
The most powerful methods of prevention continue to be a powerful collaborative and honest relationship between parents, educators, and kids and workaround- proof filtering and monitoring. Knowing what your children are viewing online, who they are talking to, and being aware of what they are sending and receiving is critical to decrease online risky behaviors. Not only must parents teach kids about online risk, but they must also teach problem solving and assertiveness skills to build the necessary resilience should online temptation arise. And most importantly, implement the kind of rules and regulations offered in the GKIS Connected Family Online Course. These suggestions are easy to implement and powerfully effective.
Thank you to Kathleen Gulden, CSUCI intern, for authoring this awesome GKIS article!
Benotsch, E., Snipes. D., Martin, A., & Bull, S., (2013). Sexting, substance use, and sexual risk behavior is young adults. Journal of Adolescent Health, 52 (3), 307-313.
Judge, A., (2012).”Sexting” among US. Adolescents: Psychological and legal perspectives. Harvard Review of Psychiatry, 20 (2), 86-96
Van Ouytsel, J., Walrave,M., Ponnet, K., & Heirman, W. (2015). The association between adolescent sexting, psychosocial difficulties, nd risk behavior: Intergrative review. The Journal of School Nursing,31(1), 54-69.
