Technology risks for children

The Hidden Risks of Over-monitoring Kids Online

December 16, 2025 by Elaha Qudratulla

Parents feel a heavy burden to protect their kids from online harm. Threats such as cyber-bullying, predators, and unwanted content are real, and it’s understandable to want to put tight restrictions in place. But what if the very tools we use to protect our children are creating unintended consequences? Over-monitoring can undermine trust, limit children’s development of independence and online resilience, and even expose privacy vulnerabilities. Here’s what the research shows and how parents can find the perfect balance.

Where did we go wrong?

66% of parents surveyed say that parenting is harder today than 20 years ago, and digital technology is to blame.[1] Parents monitor in a variety of ways, including limiting screen time, checking websites, requiring password access, using GPS tracking, and checking social media following/friending.[1] Yes, tighter supervision sounds like a necessary solution in a world full of endless apps, social networks, and online risks, but is it?

A study conducted by the University of Central Florida found that parental-control apps, which allow for deep monitoring of children’s online activities, were associated with more, not fewer, online risks for teens. More specifically, the study found that teens whose parents used these apps reported unwanted explicit content, online harassment, and sexual solicitations. This doesn’t mean monitoring caused the risks; instead, parents often turn to these apps because their teens are already encountering online issues. The researchers concluded that instead of building digital competence and trust, many of these apps fostered a control-heavy and distrusting family environment.[2] So, instead of turning to these apps for help, try Dr. Bennett’s Connected Family Course.

Another study of children’s apps found that even “family-friendly” apps often include trackers, location permissions, or mislabeling of age ratings.[4] Further, children and teens with over-monitoring parents saw their parents as intrusive and were more likely to hide, deceive, and intentionally misbehave.[4] All in all, when monitoring feels oppressive, kids may respond by hiding and lying rather than being open and honest.

What does that mean for parents?

If the goal is safety, forced online surveillance may undermine the trust between parent and child and may hinder the open and honest communication we should be working to establish. As we teach in our Screen Safety Essentials Course for families, just implementing controls isn’t enough. One of the most damaging costs of over-monitoring is to trust and self-regulation. When children know they are constantly being watched, they may feel that their parents don’t believe they are capable of making responsible choices. That can lead to secrecy, feelings of giving up on communicating openly, and a lack of connection or engagement with parents.

“Why tell mom and dad if they won’t believe me anyway?”

I found myself asking this exact question at 12 years old when I made my first Facebook account and kept it a secret. I didn’t want to get in trouble, and I wanted to connect with my friends outside of school. I felt left out. But, when I asked my mom if I could open my own account, she said no. When I asked her why, she had no answer. So, I took it upon myself to create an account anyway.

I lied about my age so that I could create the account without parental supervision, and I kept it a secret. I would use it when she was not paying attention. My intentions were pure, and I did use it to connect with friends. But, of course, like with all online platforms, creepy older men would try to befriend me or message me.

GetKidsInternetSafe’s mission is to improve parent-child relationships AND screen safety. Had my mom and I had access to the GKIS Social Media Readiness Course, we would have been able to find a safer middle ground for me to connect to my friends. Not only would I have learned more about screen safety and been better equipped to solve online problems independently, but my parents and I would have engaged in healthier conversations and maybe even gotten closer. Ultimately, I would have been prepared to protect myself from getting into a relationship with a 17-year-old. Read The Hidden Dangers of Online Grooming: I Was Only 13, to find out how my lack of preparation for having social media resulted in me forming a premature physical relationship with a young man who was four years older than me at that time.

How Can We Do Better?

One of the most effective ways to guide children safely online isn’t through hidden surveillance, but through connection, conversation, and shared agreements. When parents begin by listening to their children about what worries them, what they enjoy, and what feels out of control, they build a foundation of trust. That trust becomes the launch pad for screen-time guidelines, digital boundaries, and the kind of autonomy children need to develop resilience. GKIS emphasizes this approach through its Connected Family Screen Agreement, a free tool designed to invite open dialogue instead of enforcing silence. It helps kids understand why parents have concerns and utilize safety tools and techniques.

Instead of solely relying on rigid controls, the path to healthier online habits includes tools, skill-building, and gradual transition. GKIS’s Screen Safety Toolkit isn’t a spy-kit; it’s a resource for families to use as practical checklists, conversational prompts, and strategies to empower children rather than just restricting them.

By investing in tools like this, parents can shift from pushing their kids to secrecy to creating a trusting relationship through honest communication. This way, your child knows that they are safe, supported, and ready to navigate the digital world with you by their side.

Thanks to CSUCI intern, Elaha Qudratulla, for researching and sharing an important story about how online safety is more important than online policing.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2020/07/28/parenting-children-in-the-age-of-screens/

[2] https://www.ucf.edu/news/apps-keep-children-safe-online-may-counterproductive/

[3] https://arxiv.org/pdf/2303.09008

[4] https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0140197117302051

Photos Cited

[1] Rizki Kurniawan

[2] Marten Newhall

[3] Tasha Kostyuk

[4] Vitaly Gariev

https://unsplash.com/

Off the Phone and On the Soccer Field: My Cure for Digital Disconnection

November 7, 2025 by Elaha Qudratulla

Kids crave connection. Face-to-face interaction and emotional closeness are vital for healthy development—particularly for adolescents.[1] Screen time offers shallow connections and distracts kids from those unpleasant cravings. It also keeps kids so busy that they don’t seek the connection they so desperately need. What if they didn’t have to be so lonely? What if there was a way they could be off their screens, doing something good for their health, and making friends at the same time? For me, that was playing sports.

The Seed Was Planted

As a child, I was most excited to hang out with my friends, be on my phone, watch TV, or eat sweets, in that order. That was until I joined a team sport.

It all started when my mother asked me if I wanted to join the local soccer team. I was nine years old and against the idea because I didn’t want it to cut into cartoon time on the weekends, and had we gone through the Screen Safety Essentials Course, we wouldn’t have worried so much about the impact of screens on us. But she insisted. I only agreed because my favorite cousins were on the team.

I learned from the first practice that I loved the intense physical activity of soccer, and after a while, I began to really get the hang of it. I felt proud and accomplished. I made great friends on the team. We loved team bonding activities and even began to hang out outside of practice. I loved it so much, I gave it my all and looked forward to it all week.

By high school, I had won medals and genuinely felt like I was good at the sport. I received praise and encouragement for all of my efforts and hard work. It also inspired me to work hard in other aspects of my life. I tried harder in school, was friendlier with classmates, more obedient in class, and more eager to participate in the learning process. According to Project Play, high school athletes are more likely to further their education and even receive higher grades in college.[2] I started seeing everything in the world as a skill waiting to be attained, something that required courage, effort, and training.

Having that view of the world helped me when I sprained my ankle right before the start of my freshman season. While recovering, I could have easily scrolled through Snapchat and Instagram endlessly. But I wanted to make sure I continued to build the bond with my teammates for when I returned. It taught me to wait my turn, keep a positive attitude, remain patient, and support others as they shine. As soon as I recovered, my teammates were more than happy to catch me up to speed, and I rebuilt my strength.

Core Memories That Last

One of my most memorable moments taught me something I will never forget. It was my junior year; we were tied 0-0, with a minute left in the game. My team was exhausted, but as captain, I knew this is where my job was most important. I dribbled the ball up the center, dodging two midfielders and one defender, set it up for my left forward, and yelled, “SHOOT!” She shot and sent it straight into the upper right corner of the goal. Everyone who was there to support us was on their feet, our coaches were throwing their clipboards in the air and hugging each other, and our teammates ran to us for a celebratory hug and a jump around. We spent the last 15 seconds of that game with tears in our eyes and joy in our hearts. We had just beaten a 40-year record for our school!

This is when I realized this would have a lifelong impact on me. It was one of those moments that I’ll look back on happily. It was a lifetime of preparation to become someone people could rely on when things got tough and hope felt lost. It was the moment I truly understood what being a leader meant to me and the impact it had on others.

I hugged and thanked my mother for signing me up for soccer at nine years old. She introduced me to the first love of my life, and I would forever be grateful for that. From then on, I never doubted my abilities to get something done, never lost confidence in myself, and never hurt someone without apologizing or broke something without trying to replace it.

The Impact of The Beautiful Game

Project Play reports that sports, in particular, can positively impact aspects of personal development among young people, keep them away from harmful substances, and encourage cognitive, educational, and mental health benefits.[2] I believe my experience of playing soccer was so much more than just a fun sport or a way to stay active, although both are tried and true. It was a refinement of my character, it was a positive shift in how I viewed the world and myself in it, it was what taught me that rejection was just redirection, and it was a way to build and maintain connections with people I am still close to, at 27 years old.

Why Everyone Should Play Sports

Participation in sports can protect against the development of mental health disorders.[4] These benefits include lowering stress levels, rates of anxiety and depression.[5]Lifelong participation in sports leads to improved mental health outcomes and even immediate psychological benefits which continue long after participation is over with. The improve self-confidence, encourage creativity, and nurture a higher self-esteem. Statistically, adolescents who play sports are eight times more likely to be physically active at age 24.[3]

Thanks to CSUCI intern, Elaha Qudratulla, for sharing an important story about how beneficial playing sports were for her then and how it still helps her today.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited:

[1] https://www.uvpediatrics.com/topics/alone-together-how-smartphones-and-social-media-contribute-to-social-deprivation-in-youth

[2] https://projectplay.org/youth-sports/facts/benefits

[3] https://odphp.health.gov/sites/default/files/2020-09/YSS_Report_OnePager_2020-08-31_web.pdf

[4] https://baca.org/blog/does-playing-organized-youth-sports-have-an-impact-on-adult-mental-health/

[5] https://pce.sandiego.edu/child-development-through-sports/

Photos Cited:

[Header] Eva Wahyuni on UnSplash

[2] Olivia Hibbins on UnSplash

[3] Elaha Qudratulla

[4] Jeffrey F Lin on UnSplash

[5] Elaha Qudratulla

https://unsplash.com/

Likes and Lies: The Hidden Dangers of Your Child’s Feed

July 10, 2025 by Elaha Qudratulla

Your child’s social media feed knows more about them than you do. It knows when they’re sad, when they’re bored, and exactly what will keep them doom-scrolling. What started as a tool to share selfies is now a billion-dollar system designed to study their every click. It used to be strangers in parks, but now, it’s the threat in your child’s pocket. Instagram and Snapchat look like fun and harmless apps, but their design is all but innocent. Behind every selfie and snap streak is an algorithm trained to hijack your child’s attention, exploit their self-esteem, and guide their decisions. Today, this function serves as a 24/7 behavioral lab where your child is the test dummy. Every tap and swipe are testing what makes influences them or makes them click and buy.[1]

Before the Storm: When Social Media Felt Safe

When Instagram launched in 2010, its focus was to bring users together, show off talent, share good news, and discover something new. Snapchat followed shortly after, allowing people to share moments in real time, making it feel like you can never be too far away to keep up a connection.[2] For a while, both platforms served as exciting digital spaces for teens to express themselves, keep up with friends, and build their identity during a critical stage of development. That was before the algorithms took over.

Your Child, The Algorithms’ Prey

With time, social media platforms changed and added features to collect more user data and became more addictive. For example, Instagram is no longer a walled garden where users only view the content they search for. Now your child is offered content that their algorithm thinks will keep them hooked on scrolling.

According to the Google Dictionary, an algorithm is a process of calculations, which is usually followed by a computer, to generate problem-solving operations.[3]

Similar to gambling, teens get hooked not by the actual content, but by the mere possibility of upcoming content that can spike their interest for a few seconds longer.[4] Teenage brains are especially vulnerable to dopamine-driven design. Each like or snap streak triggers a small release of dopamine (the brain’s reward chemical).

These dopamine hits reinforce behavior, which grows the addiction to likes, snaps, and screen time. Studies show that likes on social media activate the brain’s reward center the same way winning money or eating chocolate does. The effect is often strongest in adolescents.[5] Check out a similar article on What “Going Viral” Does to Your Brain and Self-Esteem.

Snapchat’s “discover” and “spotlight” tabs work similarly, offering endless videos of curated, attention-grabbing content. These algorithms are powered by machine learning models trained on user data, so that every like, pause, screenshot, and swipe is noted and catered to. Eventually, all of this info is used to create a feed of things your child’s eyes and attention will be glued to for hours on end.

Also, Snapchat’s infamous “Snapsteaks” turn communication into an obligation. Teens often feel pressure to maintain streaks daily, even with people they barely know, just to avoid losing their digital relationships.

Social media has always been performative to some degree. But algorithms now reward exaggerated, filtered, and fake versions of life. Filters that alter facial features and bodies have made it harder for teens to see the difference between real and edited images. The compare and despair dynamic can lead to poor self-image and increasing dissatisfaction among vulnerable kids and teens. External validation through repeated use of social media is linked to increased anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem in adolescents.[6] Check out this GKIS article on how Beauty Filters Don’t Embrace Brown Beauty: The Rise of Colorism.

Take Back the Power

As tempting as it is to ban the use of these apps altogether, it can backfire. Overly punitive responses can promote child secrecy and risky behavior, especially as teens are coming into their own and learning to be more and more independent. Get ahead of it and be their ally by educating them about the hidden risks. Tackle this problem together by taking The GKIS Social Media Readiness Course. Our online course was created for tweens and teens to help them learn safer social media habits and practice better emotional wellness. With these skills, when they come in contact with harmful social media content, they will have their shields up.

Thanks to CSUCI intern, Elaha Qudratulla, for researching and co-writing this article. Check out more of her work here on GKIS:

The Hidden Dangers of Online Grooming: I Was Only 13

Netflix Documentary, Bad Influencer, Exposes Parent Producer Abusing Child Influencers

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1]https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/sociology/articles/10.3389/fsoc.2020.599270/full

[2]https://doi.org/10.1080/1369118X.2015.1084349

[3]https://www.google.com/search?q=definition+of+an+algorithm&rlz=1C1GCEU_enUS947US947&oq=definition+of+an+algorithm+&aqs=chrome..69i57j0i512j0i22i30l8.10231j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

[4]https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tics.2015.09.004

[5]https://doi.org/10.1111/cdev.12838

[6]https://doi.org/10.1080/02673843.2019.1590851

Photos Cited

[Header] Gaspar Uhas on Unsplash

[2] Karsten Winegeart on Unsplash

[3] Soheb Zaidi on Unsplash

[4] Adrian Swancar on Unsplash

[5] Jeffery Kennan on Unsplash

https://unsplash.com/

The Hidden Dangers of Online Grooming: I Was Only 13

April 16, 2025 by Elaha Qudratulla

Has your child been manipulated and exploited online? Influencing people to send nudes is an example of sexual coercion, and it happens more than you think.[1] A survey found that 36% of participants reported experiencing digital sexual coercion.[2] And too often, it happens to young teens. Statistics say one in 33 kids is approached online, but many don’t report it.[3] Too often when kids come forward, they lose their screen privileges as a result. This punishes kids for seeking help, so they learn to keep scary online problems to themselves. This is my story of being the victim of digital sexual coercion when I was only 13 years old.

He was 17, I was 13

When I was in seventh grade, my PE class overlapped with eleven graders, and that’s where I met Dale. Dale was 17 and new at our school. I was 13, friendly, outgoing, and happy to introduce myself. Dale added me on Facebook, and we began to get close. My mom didn’t even know I had Facebook because I hid it. But honestly, if she had a resource like the GKIS Screen Safety Essentials Course, I wouldn’t have been able to hide it from her. I could have skipped this whole trauma. Nothing like GKIS was around back then. I was a sitting duck.

How We Got Close

Within two weeks, Dale and I were Skyping for hours every night. It was awesome. He’d say things like, “You’re so mature for your age,” “You look a lot older than you are,” and “I wish you were older so we could hang out in public.” He made me feel desired and special. Now I know that using flattery to manipulate younger kids makes them more vulnerable to coercion.[4] But then, Dale hyping me up so much gave me a big head. I felt like I was older, more sophisticated, and smarter than kids my age. I loved the attention. I already felt like a little adult.

Over the next few months, we grew closer and closer and started making plans to hang out. He wanted to meet at a “secret” spot across the street from our school. It was at an outdoor bench in a parking lot surrounded by trees which hid us from the view. He made sure we met at different times so we couldn’t get caught. I felt like he was ashamed to be seen with me, and it hurt my feelings so much. During these hang-outs, I discovered what first and second base were. We even talked about what it would be like to have sex. It was exciting for me.

How It Took a Turn for the Worst

Eventually, Dale coached me on how to pose for provocative pictures and convinced me to email them to him. He promised not to show the pictures to anyone and even sent me some of his own. I thought it was safe because he cared about me, and we loved each other.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t long until I found out that he showed my pictures to the boys in my class because they teased me about the colors they saw me wearing in the pictures. It was absolutely horrifying! I was embarrassed. I felt betrayed. I was so sad and angry. I didn’t know what to do, so I just denied it and worked hard to keep my composure. One guy bullied me about it the whole rest of the year. It never got easy.

I was afraid to lose our relationship, so I did not make it a big deal. But I did ask him not to show the photos to anyone ever again. Some of his friends cautioned him, recognizing the age difference. Most of them were nice to me. They acted like they knew I was a little girl with an almost-man. I think some of them felt sorry for me. That was his wake-up call to how wrong it was to be with me.

When I started to feel him pulling away, I sent more pictures to earn his attention. I was completely attached and “in love.” Inevitably, he broke up with me because he was turning 18 soon and did not want to catch a case. I was shattered. I felt unworthy, unwanted, less-than, and like I was not enough. To make matters worse, he began dating a girl who was 15 years old a month after we separated. Watching him grow close to her broke my heart and left knots in my stomach. I was constantly comparing myself to her thinking I was too fat, ugly, and young. I felt used and discarded. I had a hard time focusing on school, friends, or extracurricular activities. For the next four years, I felt like I’d never be in love again. It took a toll on me and made me feel so self-conscious.

My Why

At the time, I felt so alone and misunderstood. Now I see I needed resources like GKIS. Thirteen years later, I researched “digital sexual coercion” and finally felt seen. I feel better after understanding how common this is and inspired to share my story to help other kids and parents avoid what happened to me.

After reflecting on my experience, I realized that open conversations about online interactions could have equipped me with the awareness to recognize red flags. Had I gone through the GKIS Social Media Readiness Course, I would have understood the risks of social media even among my friends. I encourage all parents to empower their children to navigate the digital world safely. This way, you can prevent your child from reliving my worst experience.

Thanks to CSUCI intern Elaha Q for writing this article. Her courage and vulnerability are so impressive. She said writing the article was a healing experience. And crazily, her older “boyfriend” recently reached out to her and apologized. But she also said that she now recognized who he was still phishing for her affection, and it felt “weird.” It made me wonder, do we ever stop feeling vulnerable after experiences like this? Thanks Elaha for being bold and brave and sharing your story.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1]https://womenshealth.gov/relationships-and-safety/other-types/sexual-coercion#:~:text=If%20you%20are%20being%20pressured,someone%20might%20use%20sexual%20coercion:

[2]https://doi.org/10.1016/j.childyouth.2020.105921

[3]https://ovc.ojp.gov/sites/g/files/xyckuh226/files/publications/bulletins/internet_2_2001/internet_2_01_6.html?utm_source=chatgpt.com

[4]https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9292559/

Photos Cited

[Header] Markus Winkler on Unsplash

[1] ethan on Unsplash

[2] Wang Sheeran on Unsplash

[3] Aiden Frazier on Unsplash

https://unsplash.com/

https://stock.adobe.com/images/sexting-sex-during-coronavirus-covid-19-sexual-practices-man-and-woman-hands-show-lingerie-through-their-smartphone-screen/408291146?prev_url=detail

Netflix Documentary, Bad Influencer, Exposes Parent Producer Abusing Child Influencers

April 3, 2025 by Elaha Qudratulla

We were hunters and gatherers for 90% of human existence. That means our brains are still wired to prioritize the things that kept us alive when we were living on the land, before the domestication of animals and the construction of cities. One thing that kept us alive was living in a tribe and cooperating. Attracting a tribe and fitting in was a requirement of life. That is why kids and teens are hyper-focused on doing what their friends do and working to be cool and accepted. Online influencers count on this drive to maintain their income streams. One way to attract kids online is to be a kid doing what kids love to do, playing with toys and video games, opening new packages, and hanging out with friends acting goofy. Netflix’s Bad Influencer offers a glimpse of the kid influencer “scene,” and the lengths that some parents will go to attract and keep a following.

What is Bad Influence about?

The limited documentary series has gone viral for good reason. It’s definitely entertaining, but also deeply unsettling. It is a perfect way to raise awareness about how scary a life all about social media can be. Bad Influencer is a documentary that focuses on a tween who becomes an overnight social media star and brings her friends to stardom with her. What started out as a fun hobby quickly turned into a living nightmare. It may seem glamorous to be famous online, until you learn that the child influencers spent the majority of their childhoods working long hours acting out video ideas, risky stunts, and performing pranks that sometimes went too far—all under the pressure of adult producers/parents hungry for views. Check out Intimacy With Minors Encouraged at the Hype House for a similar story of underage exploitation.

SPOILER ALERT: The show takes a chilling turn when the mother of the main character is accused of, and videotaped, sexually exploiting these kids on set by positioning herself as one of the only adults supervising them to control them. Some survived the battle with only a few scars, while the main character is stuck living this nightmare over and over again. It may be funny, exaggerated, and attention-grabbing, but it also paints a dark picture of a digital world where clout matters more than character and children are left to pay the price.

Psychology Behind the Fame Obsession

From a psychological point of view, being an influencer is cool to children because they have a natural need for validation, attention, and social connection.[1] Although the minimum age on most social media platforms is 13, it is reported that children ranging from 8-17 are found scrolling through online platforms soaking up content too mature for their ages.[2] Sadly, unlike real-world relationships, social media platforms offer fast, unfiltered dopamine hits through likes, shares, and views. Without proper guidance, this can make kids tie their self-worth to online numbers, which can result in low self-esteem, fear of missing out (FOMO), performance anxiety, and digital addiction.[3] As a result of social unlimited social media usage, kids can also experience anxiety, depression, and even poor quality of sleep.[4] Counteract this monster and help your child build emotional resilience, red flag awareness, and digital literacy by taking our GKIS Social Media Readiness Training Course. Geared for teens or tweens, it’s the perfect giftbefore that new device or video game.

What You Can Do to Help

Bad Influencer is not just a show; it’s a cautionary tale that shares the pressures kids face online every day. It is easy to get off topic and want to pull the plug on all electronics just to protect your child from their dangers, but that is not always possible. Technology and online platforms are all around us, and it is better to set your child up for success than to try to keep them out of the loop. Connecting with your child over what they find interesting can help create a trusting relationship where you can notice if things start to become a little off. Our free Connected Family Screen Agreement can help you and your child co-create rules around how to safely navigate online platforms. This way your child can thrive in the digital age without losing themselves in it.

Thanks to CSUCI intern, Elaha Qudratulla for researching and co-writing this article.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe. Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

Works Cited

[1] https://genomind.com/patients/the-social-media-dilemma-how-childrens-mental-health-may-be-affected/
[2] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37721985/
[3] https://startmywellness.com/2025/02/how-social-media-affects-mental-health/
[4] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11641642/

Photo Credits

[Header] freestock on Unsplash
[2] Leonardo David on Unsplash
[3] Sanket Mishra on Unsplash
[4] Cande Westh on Unsplash
https://unsplash.com/

Is Your Child Falling in Love with a Bot?

October 19, 2023 by Samantha Sanchez

Online entertainment is getting more and more advanced. We’ve come up with just about anything from video games to robots. But the one thing you may not yet know about is the fact that more kids are spending time with online robots instead of their human friends. In today’s GKIS article, we’re doing a deep dive into Character.AI, a popular website that lets subscribers virtually date a robot. We’ll go over how it’s being used, the dangers of it, and our thoughts on the site. Before letting your child use just any new and popular app, we recommend our Screen Safety Essentials Course for info on how to navigate the internet safely for the whole family.

Artificial Intelligence and Bots

Before we dive deep into the world of C.AI, we’ll want to go over some key terms.

Artificial Intelligence refers to the capability of computer systems or algorithms to imitate intelligent human behavior.[1]

A bot is a computer program or character (as in a game) designed to mimic the actions of a person.[2] A bot is a form of artificial intelligence.

NSFW refers to “not safe (or suitable) for work.” NSFW is used to warn someone that a website, image, message, etc., is not suitable for viewing at most places of employment.[3]

What is C.AI?

Character.AI is a website made by Noam Shazeer and Daniel De Freitas that allows users to chat with bots. The C.AI website launched in September 2022, and the app was released in May 2023. In its first week of being launched, the app got 1.7 million downloads. [4]

C.AI uses artificial intelligence to let you create characters and talk to them. You can create original characters, base yours off a character from a TV show or movie, or base your character off a real person.

C.AI became popular when teens started showing their conversations with the C.AI bots on TikTok. Many teens showed romantic and sensual conversations they had with their bots. Week after week, teens all over the world began to fall in love with their new artificial friends.

How Teens Are Using C.AI

Users create a free account, and then choose from a list of characters to talk to or make their own. Users can talk about whatever they want with the bot, and it will reply with human-like responses. Pre-made characters have their own set personality that users cannot change.

To make their own custom bot, users choose a name for their character and then upload an image to give the bot a ‘face.’ Users can talk with the bot about any topic. When the bot responds, users rate the bot’s responses with 1-5 stars. After some time, the bot will use the user’s ratings to figure out what personality they want it to have.

Users can make their bots private only for them or public for anyone to use. However, all chats between a person and a bot are private.

The Dangerous Side of C.AI

Using these bots may seem like a fun idea for kids, but there are a lot of risks that come with them.

Data Storage

A major risk is that C.AI stores the information and texts you share with the character bots.

C.AI claims that no real person reads this information. However, this is still dangerous for privacy reasons. If the website or app were hacked, hackers can do whatever they want with users’ information. This puts all users at major risk when using the site.

No Age Verification and Exposing Minors to NSFW Content

C.AI encourages its users to be 13 years old or older, but there is no age verification within the site or app.[5] This means users can lie about their age to use C.AI.

C.AI claims to not allow sexual conversation between users and bots, but users can bypass this. Users can misspell certain words or add extra spaces to words to bypass the NSFW filter. The bot knows what word you’re trying to say, so it will reply with NSFW responses. Users can have detailed sexual conversations with the bots. The dangerous part of this is that many of C.AI’s users are minors.

Effects on Children’s Relationships

Users can speak romantically with the bots, and the bots will respond with romantic messages. The more kids use these bots, the higher chance they have of becoming dependent on them. Children’s brains are impressionable, and they absorb information quickly. Some kids may prefer to engage in these fake relationships instead of relationships with real people.

Using these bots could also create social anxiety. Users know what to expect when talking with a bot since the bot’s personality is pre-set. However, real people in the outside world are unpredictable. The uncertainty of real conversations could make users shy, anxious, and avoidant, especially if they replace real-life challenging practices with safe and easy online practices.

Other risks include:

Disappointment in real-life relationships with others
Depression
Isolation
Loss of social skills

GKIS Thoughts On C.AI

GKIS rates C.AI as a red-light website. This means it is not recommended for children under the age of 18 to use. We came to this conclusion because it lacks age verification and exposes minors to NSFW content. However, it could be slightly safer if parents monitor their children’s interactions with the bots. If you’re worried about what other dangerous sites your child may be visiting, consider checking out our article on red-light websites.

GKIS encourages parents to talk to their children about what topics are safe to discuss if they use C.AI. Before making a decision to use the site, we recommend checking out the GKIS Social Media Readiness Training course. It helps teens and tweens learn the red flags of social media and teaches them valuable psychological wellness skills.