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Off the Phone and On the Soccer Field: My Cure for Digital Disconnection

Kids crave connection. Face-to-face interaction and emotional closeness are vital for healthy development—particularly for adolescents.[1] Screen time offers shallow connections and distracts kids from those unpleasant cravings. It also keeps kids so busy that they don’t seek the connection they so desperately need. What if they didn’t have to be so lonely? What if there was a way they could be off their screens, doing something good for their health, and making friends at the same time?  For me, that was playing sports.

The Seed Was Planted

As a child, I was most excited to hang out with my friends, be on my phone, watch TV, or eat sweets, in that order. That was until I joined a team sport.

It all started when my mother asked me if I wanted to join the local soccer team. I was nine years old and against the idea because I didn’t want it to cut into cartoon time on the weekends, and had we gone through the Screen Safety Essentials Course, we wouldn’t have worried so much about the impact of screens on us. But she insisted. I only agreed because my favorite cousins were on the team.

I learned from the first practice that I loved the intense physical activity of soccer, and after a while, I began to really get the hang of it. I felt proud and accomplished. I made great friends on the team. We loved team bonding activities and even began to hang out outside of practice. I loved it so much, I gave it my all and looked forward to it all week.

By high school, I had won medals and genuinely felt like I was good at the sport. I received praise and encouragement for all of my efforts and hard work. It also inspired me to work hard in other aspects of my life. I tried harder in school, was friendlier with classmates, more obedient in class, and more eager to participate in the learning process. According to Project Play, high school athletes are more likely to further their education and even receive higher grades in college.[2] I started seeing everything in the world as a skill waiting to be attained, something that required courage, effort, and training.

Having that view of the world helped me when I sprained my ankle right before the start of my freshman season. While recovering, I could have easily scrolled through Snapchat and Instagram endlessly. But I wanted to make sure I continued to build the bond with my teammates for when I returned. It taught me to wait my turn, keep a positive attitude, remain patient, and support others as they shine. As soon as I recovered, my teammates were more than happy to catch me up to speed, and I rebuilt my strength.

Core Memories That Last

One of my most memorable moments taught me something I will never forget. It was my junior year; we were tied 0-0, with a minute left in the game. My team was exhausted, but as captain, I knew this is where my job was most important. I dribbled the ball up the center, dodging two midfielders and one defender, set it up for my left forward, and yelled, “SHOOT!” She shot and sent it straight into the upper right corner of the goal. Everyone who was there to support us was on their feet, our coaches were throwing their clipboards in the air and hugging each other, and our teammates ran to us for a celebratory hug and a jump around. We spent the last 15 seconds of that game with tears in our eyes and joy in our hearts. We had just beaten a 40-year record for our school!

This is when I realized this would have a lifelong impact on me. It was one of those moments that I’ll look back on happily. It was a lifetime of preparation to become someone people could rely on when things got tough and hope felt lost. It was the moment I truly understood what being a leader meant to me and the impact it had on others.

I hugged and thanked my mother for signing me up for soccer at nine years old. She introduced me to the first love of my life, and I would forever be grateful for that. From then on, I never doubted my abilities to get something done, never lost confidence in myself, and never hurt someone without apologizing or broke something without trying to replace it.

The Impact of The Beautiful Game

Project Play reports that sports, in particular, can positively impact aspects of personal development among young people, keep them away from harmful substances, and encourage cognitive, educational, and mental health benefits.[2] I believe my experience of playing soccer was so much more than just a fun sport or a way to stay active, although both are tried and true. It was a refinement of my character, it was a positive shift in how I viewed the world and myself in it, it was what taught me that rejection was just redirection, and it was a way to build and maintain connections with people I am still close to, at 27 years old.

Why Everyone Should Play Sports

Participation in sports can protect against the development of mental health disorders.[4] These benefits include lowering stress levels, rates of anxiety and depression.[5]Lifelong participation in sports leads to improved mental health outcomes and even immediate psychological benefits which continue long after participation is over with. The improve self-confidence, encourage creativity, and nurture a higher self-esteem. Statistically, adolescents who play sports are eight times more likely to be physically active at age 24.[3]


Thanks to CSUCI intern, Elaha Qudratulla, for sharing an important story about how beneficial playing sports were for her then and how it still helps her today.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

 

Works Cited:

[1] https://www.uvpediatrics.com/topics/alone-together-how-smartphones-and-social-media-contribute-to-social-deprivation-in-youth

[2] https://projectplay.org/youth-sports/facts/benefits

[3] https://odphp.health.gov/sites/default/files/2020-09/YSS_Report_OnePager_2020-08-31_web.pdf

[4] https://baca.org/blog/does-playing-organized-youth-sports-have-an-impact-on-adult-mental-health/

[5] https://pce.sandiego.edu/child-development-through-sports/

Photos Cited:

[Header] Eva Wahyuni on UnSplash

[2] Olivia Hibbins on UnSplash

[3] Elaha Qudratulla

[4] Jeffrey F Lin on UnSplash

[5] Elaha Qudratulla

https://unsplash.com/

6 Experts Share Productive Screen Time Tips for Kids

screenshot-2016-12-02-13-36-52

On November 11, 2016 I was invited to participate in a panel discussion and present in a breakout session at the Safe Smart Social Conference at the Microsoft Corporate Headquarters in Los Angeles, CA. Here is a link to the panel presentation with thought leaders in child screen safety. My favorite takeaway?

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How can we collaborate with technology to build a connection with our kids?

Strive to have a strong, fun, connection with your children that includes an ongoing dialogue; one of the best ways to achieve that connection is with tech. If children see us as a partner in tech, then we can keep the conversation open. Remember that the partnership between tech and your connection with your child is the most important. –Dr. Tracy Bennett, GetKidsInternetSafe