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Off the Phone and On the Soccer Field: My Cure for Digital Disconnection

Kids crave connection. Face-to-face interaction and emotional closeness are vital for healthy development—particularly for adolescents.[1] Screen time offers shallow connections and distracts kids from those unpleasant cravings. It also keeps kids so busy that they don’t seek the connection they so desperately need. What if they didn’t have to be so lonely? What if there was a way they could be off their screens, doing something good for their health, and making friends at the same time?  For me, that was playing sports.

The Seed Was Planted

As a child, I was most excited to hang out with my friends, be on my phone, watch TV, or eat sweets, in that order. That was until I joined a team sport.

It all started when my mother asked me if I wanted to join the local soccer team. I was nine years old and against the idea because I didn’t want it to cut into cartoon time on the weekends, and had we gone through the Screen Safety Essentials Course, we wouldn’t have worried so much about the impact of screens on us. But she insisted. I only agreed because my favorite cousins were on the team.

I learned from the first practice that I loved the intense physical activity of soccer, and after a while, I began to really get the hang of it. I felt proud and accomplished. I made great friends on the team. We loved team bonding activities and even began to hang out outside of practice. I loved it so much, I gave it my all and looked forward to it all week.

By high school, I had won medals and genuinely felt like I was good at the sport. I received praise and encouragement for all of my efforts and hard work. It also inspired me to work hard in other aspects of my life. I tried harder in school, was friendlier with classmates, more obedient in class, and more eager to participate in the learning process. According to Project Play, high school athletes are more likely to further their education and even receive higher grades in college.[2] I started seeing everything in the world as a skill waiting to be attained, something that required courage, effort, and training.

Having that view of the world helped me when I sprained my ankle right before the start of my freshman season. While recovering, I could have easily scrolled through Snapchat and Instagram endlessly. But I wanted to make sure I continued to build the bond with my teammates for when I returned. It taught me to wait my turn, keep a positive attitude, remain patient, and support others as they shine. As soon as I recovered, my teammates were more than happy to catch me up to speed, and I rebuilt my strength.

Core Memories That Last

One of my most memorable moments taught me something I will never forget. It was my junior year; we were tied 0-0, with a minute left in the game. My team was exhausted, but as captain, I knew this is where my job was most important. I dribbled the ball up the center, dodging two midfielders and one defender, set it up for my left forward, and yelled, “SHOOT!” She shot and sent it straight into the upper right corner of the goal. Everyone who was there to support us was on their feet, our coaches were throwing their clipboards in the air and hugging each other, and our teammates ran to us for a celebratory hug and a jump around. We spent the last 15 seconds of that game with tears in our eyes and joy in our hearts. We had just beaten a 40-year record for our school!

This is when I realized this would have a lifelong impact on me. It was one of those moments that I’ll look back on happily. It was a lifetime of preparation to become someone people could rely on when things got tough and hope felt lost. It was the moment I truly understood what being a leader meant to me and the impact it had on others.

I hugged and thanked my mother for signing me up for soccer at nine years old. She introduced me to the first love of my life, and I would forever be grateful for that. From then on, I never doubted my abilities to get something done, never lost confidence in myself, and never hurt someone without apologizing or broke something without trying to replace it.

The Impact of The Beautiful Game

Project Play reports that sports, in particular, can positively impact aspects of personal development among young people, keep them away from harmful substances, and encourage cognitive, educational, and mental health benefits.[2] I believe my experience of playing soccer was so much more than just a fun sport or a way to stay active, although both are tried and true. It was a refinement of my character, it was a positive shift in how I viewed the world and myself in it, it was what taught me that rejection was just redirection, and it was a way to build and maintain connections with people I am still close to, at 27 years old.

Why Everyone Should Play Sports

Participation in sports can protect against the development of mental health disorders.[4] These benefits include lowering stress levels, rates of anxiety and depression.[5]Lifelong participation in sports leads to improved mental health outcomes and even immediate psychological benefits which continue long after participation is over with. The improve self-confidence, encourage creativity, and nurture a higher self-esteem. Statistically, adolescents who play sports are eight times more likely to be physically active at age 24.[3]


Thanks to CSUCI intern, Elaha Qudratulla, for sharing an important story about how beneficial playing sports were for her then and how it still helps her today.

I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com

 

Works Cited:

[1] https://www.uvpediatrics.com/topics/alone-together-how-smartphones-and-social-media-contribute-to-social-deprivation-in-youth

[2] https://projectplay.org/youth-sports/facts/benefits

[3] https://odphp.health.gov/sites/default/files/2020-09/YSS_Report_OnePager_2020-08-31_web.pdf

[4] https://baca.org/blog/does-playing-organized-youth-sports-have-an-impact-on-adult-mental-health/

[5] https://pce.sandiego.edu/child-development-through-sports/

Photos Cited:

[Header] Eva Wahyuni on UnSplash

[2] Olivia Hibbins on UnSplash

[3] Elaha Qudratulla

[4] Jeffrey F Lin on UnSplash

[5] Elaha Qudratulla

https://unsplash.com/

Clever Smartphone Emergency Apps


All parents work hard to keep our kids safe. However, sometimes unexpected things happen. Imagine if your child finds themselves alone at school or at the soccer field waiting for their ride and starts to feel unsafe. Or maybe in an emergency a teen takes an Uber and feels uncomfortable with their Uber driver. Or maybe they are at a new friend’s house and you need to pick them up, but they’re not answering your texts or calls. Today’s GKIS article covers several tech remedies that you may not have been aware of.

Fake Phone Calls on TikTok

Although we’d like to think our child would never feel unsafe enough to need a fake phone call, TikTok users think otherwise. Search “fake phone call safe” on TikTok and you’ll see a video that stages the sounds of a real phone call conversation.

Typically in these fake phone call videos, the person recorded in the conversation is saying that they are expecting you and are aware of what you are doing. They are designed to make the listener appear as though they are real-time connected to their parent.

Possible uses for this video are if your child is in an Uber or somebody they don’t feel comfortable with is giving them a ride home or if they feel unsafe while walking home or waiting for a ride alone. Not only does the fake call take the pressure off of them from talking to the stranger=, but it also appears as though they are being tracked for location and situation.

Emergency SOS

Emergency SOS is a free default feature on your iPhone. By clicking your power button five times, you can trigger an automatic 911 call within three seconds.

How to Check if Your Child has this on Their iPhone

Go to Settings > Emergency SOS > Select On to turn on the call with the side button switch, then enable Auto Call.

To test it, click your power button five times and wait for a loud alarm to sound. Of course, be sure to click it off before the 911 call goes through.

Find My Friends

Another great way to know where your child is at all times is the Find My Friends app on the iPhone. With this app, you can check where your child is at all times.

Find My Friends comes as a default feature of an iPhone. To use it, you simply have to make sure you have clicked the Share My Location feature under Settings > Privacy > Location Services > Share My Location.

Life360 “Feel free, together”

Similar to FindMyFriends, Life360 is a tracking device for Apple phones and Android phones that allows you to sync your family into a private, invite-only circle.

Life360 has three membership levels with different features:

Free:

  • Location Sharing
  • Battery Monitoring
  • Location ETA
  • Place Alerts – notifications when family members come and go from your most frequent Places
  • History – a quick view of your family member’s drive a location data for the last 48 hours
  • Help Alert
  • In-App Chat
  • Crash Detection

Plus:

  • All of the above plus Crime Reports

Driver Protec:

  • All of the above plus Emergency Dispatch, Roadside Assistance, and Driver Report

Personally, my mom and I have always shared our locations on the FindMyFriends app because of our almost 3-hour drive from one another. Once I discovered this app, I immediately made her download it because of all the unique features. However, not everybody is a fan of this tracking app. Search “Life360” on TikTok and you’ll see teens insisting that their lack of privacy and spying parents have ruined their lives.

Recently Dr. B says her clients have reported that teens are giving it one-star in the Apple store hoping that Apple will respond by removing the app. GKIS suggests you use discretion and offer older teens their privacy if they ask for it.

Emergency Whistle App

This kind of app can be found in the app store by searching up “Emergency Whistle.” Choose your favorite and download it!

In this app, you can access a digital whistle that activates a loud and alarming sound while also causing your phone flashlight to flash off and on. This acts as a physical whistle nicknamed a “rape whistle.”

Growing up I always carried one of these whistles. But now I’ve found this app which allowed me to feel safe for those late nights on campus as I walk back to my car.

Siren GPS

Cell service is not always the best. This app offers a “panic button” service which when you press it you are instantly connected to 911 services.[1] It will give emergency personnel your exact coordinates with or without a good cell connection.

I remember a time in middle school where my mom was running late after I got out of drill team practice. I sat at school alone for a bit wondering when she would show. Worried, I began to walk home on my own on an unfamiliar path that was deserted. Looking back at that memory, I wish I would’ve had an app like this one just in case something happened. Luckily, I made it home safe and sound!

ICE Medical Standard App

With the ICE app,  “The World’s #1 Emergency Medical App,” your vital statistics like blood type, allergies, medical conditions, and medications will appear on your Lock Screen Display Overlay.[2] That way emergency personnel has potentially life-saving information for appropriate medical care.

Medical ID App

Similar to the ICE Medical Standard App, you can use the Medical ID app on both Android and Apple smart devices. It displays an emergency medical card on the lock screen of the user’s smartphone while also allowing to navigation through this screen to get to a list of emergency contacts.

Another great feature of this app is that you are capable of sending SMSs of your location. There is also a function where you are able to send GPS tracking to designated contacts. Several profiles can be saved on this device for those who have larger families.[3]

Although every parent does their best to ensure their child’s safety, parents can’t be with their kids 24/7. Thankfully with the help of these apps, you can have the reassurance that your child safe when you are not around.

Special thanks to Danielle Rivera for researching and co-writing this article. If you liked the article, you’re interested in learning more tips on how to get yourself and your child prepared with great safety tools check out the Connected Family Course on the GKIS website where you will be able to create a family understanding of why these apps are important for everyone to have on their phones.

Onward to More Awesome Parenting,

Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe

Photo Credits

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels

Photo by Ready Made on Pexel

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on  Pexel

Photo by Muhammad Irfan on  Pexel