In the fast-paced world that we live in, it can feel downright impossible to get the entire family together in the same room. Trying to find an activity that everyone can enjoy together is an even more improbable task. Yet, sharing experiences as a family and spending time together is necessary for creating close family bonds and maintaining a sense of connection. Today’s GKIS article covers the pros and cons of the Xbox Series X and the Xbox Series S, recommendations for games to play as a family, suggestions for appropriate games that your kid can play alone, and some brief tips to keep your kids safe and connected when it comes to gaming. Creating family cohesion and safely navigating the technological world we live in can be difficult at times. Our Connected Family Course gives expert advice and strategies to create a connected home environment without having to disconnect from the internet.
Today’s Digital Playground
In today’s digital landscape, there is a generational divide when it comes to what is fun. While you may reminisce on the fun you had playing with your friends in an open field or playing board games with your family when you were a child, your kids might have zero interest in these types of activities. In the past twenty years, there has been a huge technological jump that has made the childhood activities that we grew up enjoying obsolete in today’s fast-paced world. Your children are used to a much more technically advanced world where entertainment comes in the form of video games, social media, and streaming services. To have a successful family night where everyone has fun, you may need to adapt and learn to engage with your kids in this new digital playground.
Here are some reasons why video games are a great way to connect with your kids:
Can be accessed at any time
Can fit into the most restrictive of work schedules
No need for planning
Do not have to worry about losing game pieces
Do not have to explain a complex set of rules
Most games are highly intuitive requiring little explanation
If you are curious about what we had to say about the other consoles and our game recommendations for them, we have GKIS Guides for the current PlayStation and Nintendo systems as well.
What is the Xbox?
The Xbox is a line of home entertainment systems/video game consoles created by Microsoft. This article focuses on the newest iterations of the console: The Xbox Series S and the Xbox Series X. Both the Xbox Series S and the Xbox Series X launched in 2020 and are currently in production. Although Microsoft doesn’t share its sales figures, estimates have been made that Microsoft has sold a combined total of about 5.8 million units of the Xbox Series X and Series S as of May 2021.[1]
The Pros and Cons of Microsoft’s Xbox consoles
Pros
The biggest advantage of the Xbox Series X/S is its focus on a home entertainment system. Microsoft created and marketed the newest versions of the Xbox as a multipurpose family entertainment hub for watching movies and television, playing games, socializing online, etc. With a huge userbase and the backing of Microsoft, the Xbox has become a fantastic selection when it comes to home video game consoles.
Additionally, the Xbox Series X and Series S are mostly backward compatible, allowing owners to play nearly all of the games that they had previously purchased for earlier consoles without having to repay for them. While many of the games are skewed more for an adult user base, there is a wide variety of games that have been targeted to kids with more appropriate content that is family-friendly. Also, the Xbox Series S is on the cheaper side when it comes to home game consoles at $299.
Cons
The Xbox Series X, which is more technologically advanced than the Xbox Series S is also nearly double the price at $499. Therefore, if your kids want the more advanced system with better graphics and framerates, and you know they do, you are going to have a potentially tough decision on your hands when deciding which of these two models to get for them.
Many parents don’t realize that kids can browse the internet through their Xbox consoles. That means they can access anything or anybody through that browser. That means you MUST program parental controls if you don’t want your child exploring inappropriate online neighborhoods.
Xbox Games to Play as a Family
When it comes to the Xbox Series X/S, there are a variety of interactive ways to connect with your family. You can play games together or use the console as a multimedia hub to stream movies and your favorite television shows through your favorite streaming services.
Here are 3 great Xbox games for you and your kids to play together:
Unravel 2
Overcooked! All You Can Eat
Rocket League
Unravel 2
Unravel 2 is a brilliant game revolving around a pair of little yarn people, referred to as Yarnies. The game is a platformer where your goal is to successfully traverse the environment without getting crushed by a boulder or eaten by a bird or fish.
This game has an ESRB rating of E, meaning it has been approved for kids of all ages. The only warning by the ESRB is that it contains mild fantasy violence as your character can get attacked by animals. There is no potential for interaction with online players within the game either.
While both Yarnies can be controlled by a single player, this game is best played with a friend. This game is great for building teamwork, bonding, and strengthening social skills. The whole point of the game is that you can achieve anything by working together. Unravel 2 is perfect for siblings bonding, parent/child bonding, and social interaction with a friend.
Overcooked! All You Can Eat
Overcooked is a game that requires cooperation as you play as restaurant workers making and serving food in the most chaotic of situations. Each environment has unique challenges that must be overcome through teamwork as you race against the clock to prepare meals. One stage has you preparing meals on a pirate ship with parts of the preparation area sliding back and forth along the ship making it difficult to reach previously reachable areas, so communication is key so that others can finish what you were doing if the playing field changes. Each environment has its own unique challenges that must be overcome by working together.
This game has an ESRB rating of E for everyone and has been approved for all ages. The only ESRB warning attached to this is that it has mild cartoon violence, which doesn’t even come close to the cartoons we used to watch, such as Tom and Jerry (there are no cats getting their teeth smashed with hammers by maniacal mice in this game).
Overcooked can be a great choice for bonding with your kids as teamwork and communication are so key to the gameplay. The sense of connection you feel as you get better and better scores is invaluable. This version of the game contains all the previous game content from the series and also has modifiers to adjust the difficulty allowing for an experience with high replay value that everyone can enjoy.
Rocket League
There is really nothing else like Rocket League out there. It is basically a combination of soccer and racecar driving. I know it sounds absurd and is hard to wrap your head around, but it is immensely gratifying. The goal is to use teamwork to hit a ball with your car into the other team’s goal.
Rocket League has an ESRB rating of E, meaning it has been approved for children of all ages. The only warning comes from some mild lyrics from the songs in the game.
The best part of this game is playing with other people. This game is great for parties and building a connection with your child as you can play on the same team and work together to score goals and win matches. Matches can be formed with up to 8 players on each team and with over 40 million players worldwide, there are plenty of people out there to play with.
Xbox Games Your Kids Can Play Alone
Video games also make great rewards for when your kid gets good grades or engages in other behaviors that you want to reward. Due to the immense number of games to choose from, it can become overwhelming when searching for a game for your child that is age-appropriate. There are plenty of games out there that are excessively violent, have strong language, and have sexual situations in them.
Here is a list of 3 games that we recommend:
Kingdom Hearts 3
Sonic Mania Plus
Immortals Fenyx Rising
Kingdom Heart 3
Is your kid obsessed with Disney characters? If the answer is yes, this game could be a great choice for your child. The kingdom hearts series revolves around a boy named Sora who teams up with Disney characters to rid the world of darkness. In Kingdom Hearts 3, you team up with Donald, Goofy, Hercules, Jack Sparrow, Elsa, and many more characters to explore different Disney worlds and go on an epic adventure of self-discovery. As you would expect from Disney, there are plenty of themes designed to promote admirable qualities like the acceptance of yourself and others.
Kingdom Hearts 3 is rated E10 for fantasy violence as you use magic and a sword, shaped like a key, to defeat the bad guys. There is no blood and gore in the game and the creatures just poof out of existence when defeated.
The best part of this game is getting to interact with your favorite Disney characters. The storyline is also fantastic and fits in well with the Disney movies that the characters are from. Like most other Disney products, the game’s story revolves around the main character’s growth as a human being and there are several positive lessons for your child to learn.
Sonic Mania Plus
Sonic Mania Plus is an action platformer that revolves around the world’s fastest hedgehog as he sets out to defeat an evil scientist, named Dr. Eggman. The game designers set out to bring back the feel of the games from the 1990s with smoother gameplay. The result is a fun game that looks and plays like the Sonic the Hedgehog games that were around when you were a kid.
Sonic Mania Plus has an ESRB rating of E for everyone. Like Overcooked, this game’s only warning comes from mild cartoon violence. “Mild cartoon violence” refers to your character jumping on robotic creatures to defeat them. The critters basically turn into bunnies and other furry animals after you jump on them as you are rescuing them, rather than harming them.
If you played the earlier Sonic games, this game could have some added benefits. You can bond with your kid over a shared love of the characters and maybe show off some of your own video game skills by playing with your kid.
Immortals Fenyx Rising
Immortals Fenyx Rising is the Xbox’s response to the success of The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. The gameplay is very similar to that of Breath of the Wild but revolves around Greek mythology. In Immortals, you play as a human named Fenyx who must stop Typhon in his quest to get revenge on the gods of Olympus. This game is set in an extremely expansive open world that the player is free to explore as they see fit.
Immortals Fenyx Rising has been rated T for teens due to language, suggestive themes, and violence. There is some suggestive humor and dialogue between the characters which may be inappropriate for younger children. The violence in this game is against fantasy creatures and Greek gods., mostly stemming from Greek mythology. While not appropriate for younger children, this game is really fun for tweens and teens.
The game covers many of the themes in Greek mythology but ultimately revolves around becoming a strong, independent individual who realizes that one’s flaws should be accepted and celebrated rather than hidden away. It is ultimately about self-acceptance. It should also be noted that the main character’s physical characteristics and gender can be adjusted so that all kids playing this game can feel connected to the character, which is definitely a step in the right direction when it comes to inclusivity and representation.
How To Keep Your Kids Safe Playing Video Games
Research the games before buying them
Check the ESRB ratings
Play with your children or check in on them
Talk to your children and maintain a close family bond.
The most important thing that parents can do is be aware of the potential risks and promote an environment of open communication with your children. Dr. B offers a comprehensive family program for fostering this kind of communication in her Screen Safety Essentials Course. With this course, your family will learn tons of information about how to create a safer screen home environment while also connecting and having fun as a family. Armed with the right tools, you and your family can learn how to better thrive in today’s digital era.
Doctor Bs parenting guide, Screen Time in the Mean Time, is a wealth of knowledge about screen safety and keeping your kids safe from the numerous dangers inherent in the world we live in.
Thanks to CSUCI intern, Michael Watson for researching video game addiction and how gamers are solving the problem themselves.
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
Although a lot of parents let their kids play video games, not many co-play. Parents are busy! And for many, video games are unknown territory. Trust me, I’ve seen my mom try to play new video games, and she was beyond lost. But as a kid’s interest in video games increases, your relationship with them may seem to decrease, as if screen time replaces relationship-building. And with newer games like Fortnight, God of War, and Call of Duty, the complexities can drive a wedge between digital immigrants and digital natives. But it doesn’t mean they should! Many games offer teamwork and cooperation and can be fun for the whole family. Gaming might not be as scary as you think. Using hobbies your kids already enjoy is a great start to strengthening family bonds. Check out Dr. Bennett’s Connected Family Course for a guide on balancing screen time, like gaming, with family time. Read on to learn what co-playing has to offer, and why you might want to start gaming with your kids.
What makes co-play important?
The “fear of the unknown” can cause parents to separate themselves from their children’s virtual activities. As a result, kids can become isolated. Parents see this and either reprimand the kid for playing too much or guiltily allow the distance.
When I grew up, my mom provided me with interactive video games that offered entertainment and learning experiences. As a digital native, I started playing more and more online games and would even search some out in hopes that my parents would play with me. But because they were digital immigrants, they never did.
In 2013, researchers Hayes and Siyahhan found that “parents miss a huge opportunity when they walk away from playing video games with their kids.” They elaborated that parents don’t realize that there are many games designed to teach problem-solving, science, or literature. Not only can you learn alongside them, gaming with your kids can also offer countless ways to interact and have teaching moments. Gaming together offers new lines of communication and give them a reason to want to bond with you.[1]
Teaching and Bonding
In 2018, Bingqing Wang’s research on video games and family cooperation showed that family members who play video games together have better family satisfaction and family closeness. They also showed that families with poor family communication can benefit from co-playing.[2]
One benefit of co-play is the opportunity to work together to achieve a common goal. Strategizing and reflecting on executed choices encourages sportsmanship and the value of failure. Rather than the child walking away from a failure disheartened, parents can teach them to analyze the loss and improve on strategy with enthusiasm rather than defeat. Co-play also allows parents to set good examples for setting limits. Ending a gaming session together seems better than being “forced” or “made” to stop playing.[3] Shared experiences are more fun, wins are more fulfilling, and cooperation is much better than isolation.
You may be concerned that, even with effort, you’ll look stupid and won’t “get it.” But if you both played and had fun, they’ll recognize you took the effort to get close to them and better understand why they love to play. You’re not just an outsider trying to limit something they enjoy. Growing up, I had multiple friends who got to play with their parents and bond over the games they liked. They loved talking about it and became even closer, something I missed out on.
What to Play
Which games are family-friendly? Dr. Bennett said her kids asked for a Nintendo Switch so they could return to games they used to play together on the Wii. There are many options that are rated E(for everyone). It also offers parent controls and time limits that allow parents to manage what and how much their kids are playing.
Some fun and family games we at GKIS recommend are:
Mario Kart is a competitive driving game with lots of cute levels, fun characters, and a ton of quality. Race against friends and family in different beloved Mario worlds. Dr. Bennett cautions to start with the cow land…she says she’s spent many hours screeching in agony trying to stay on the slippery Rainbow Road while her kids roared. She says kids can’t get trusted to pick the level…
Just Dance is another Nintendo Switch game that Dr. B says provided hours of fun family co-play. With many popular and even old hits, everybody finds their favorite games to competitively dance to. She says her youngest was delighted by this game, because even when he was little, he could out score her and his older sisters! Plus, everybody worked up a sweat and got a little exercise. No pain, all gain.
Super Mario Party is a game designed for group play and loads of fun. With 80 mini-games, like Bumper Brawl and Croosin’ for a Broosin’, everybody has a favorite. Play with or against your kids with the large board game style platform.
Yoshi’s Island is an fun and simple game for the whole family. Jump around as the adorable Yoshi solving creative puzzles and collecting all the hidden items.
Snipperclips has great games for the whole family don’t have to cost an arm and a leg. This game is designed for communicating and working together to snip your cute little paper characters into the perfect shape for each unique and entertaining puzzle.
Knock ‘Em Down Bowling is a fun one with many game modes like split screen, team matches, and no gutters. With a variety of traditional bowling games and party modes, team work is always a fun possibility.
Forza Motorsport Games for Xbox offers lots of options for fun family car racing in professional-style track racing events.
Scribblenaughts for the Nintendo DS is a fun, emergent puzzle action video game where the players must solve puzzles in order to collect Starlites. Warner Bros. Active Entertainment published this game with the goal of promoting emergent game play by challenging the player through systematically more difficult puzzles.
I’m Jack Riley a GKIS intern. I hope you find the courage to carve the time and try co-play now that you see the pros in family gaming. My parents were never able to do any of this with me and as my interest in games increased, I felt as if our family relationship decreased. Interested in learning about other benefits of video game play? Check out the GKIS article Is Your Child a “Professional Gamer”?
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
Onward to More Awesome Parenting,
Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
Works Cited
[1] (July 2013). Move over, Monopoly: ASU researchers find families bond over video game play, Arizona State University.edu
[2]Wang, B. (April 2018). Families that play together stay together: Investigating family bonding through video games. Sage Journals.com
[3]Shapiro J.( December 2014). Research Says Parents And Kids Should Play Video Games Together. Forbes.com
Photo Credits
Photo By Kelly Sikkema
“My mini on our PS4” photo by Samantha Sophia
“Two people playing Sony PS4 game console” photo by JESHOOTS
“Nintendo Switch Joy-Cons” photo by Aleks Dorohovich
In my 25 years of psychology practice, I have treated many kids and teens victimized by online predators and cyberbullies. And in many of those cases, there were steps the parents could have made to prevent this type of digital injury. First, parents must block inappropriate games and content using the rating system and parental controls. Second, teach the red flags that kids must look for to spot dangerous inquiries. That’s why I created the Cybersecurity and Red Flags Supplement to add to our free Connected Family Screen Agreement (available on the home page of GetKidsInternetSafe.com). Finally, maintain a close parent-child relationship with ongoing topics for learning (offered in your GKIS weekly articles). To help, parents have to learn what’s out there and accept that kids will make mistakes. Today’s article will discuss the risks in the multiplayer gaming world, expertly written by a young female gamer.
What is a multiplayer game?
“Multiplayer games” refers to video games where an individual player can join a team in defeating a computerized enemy or can battle it out against other gamers. To play multiplayer games, Xbox and PlayStation require gamers to purchase memberships.
Battle Royale Style of Gaming
Battle royale is a relatively new genre of multiplayer gaming that can have over 100 people competing on a large map. These games embody a survival element as players are dropped onto a map with little armor or weapons. Players can either battle their way through the game with friends or fight solo. The ultimate goal is to be the last player standing.
Before the likes of Fortnite and PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds, battle royale was a concept heavily influenced by the popular movie The Hunger Games. In the early days, the only way to play battle royale was by downloading modifies to a base game. This modification was extremely popular in Minecraft as it added an extra dose of flair and made the game more challenging and intriguing.
Brenden Greene made battle royale mods for the hit games DayZ and Arma III, which quickly became huge sensations. In 2017, he released PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds, which paved the way for other games like Fortnite and Apex Legends.[3]
Who plays multiplayer games?
In 2018, 28% of gamers were under 18 years old, 45% of gamers were female, and 55% were male.[5] Although multiplayer games are entertaining and fast-paced, there are dangers young gamers could be exposed to including chatting with random strangers, bullying, and child grooming by sexual predators.
Create a party for you and your friends.
One of the ways kids can gain access to voice chat over the PS4 console is to be invited via “party.” Partydirectly sets up friend invites using your friends list. People can also request to join a party, but the creator has the option to deny specific player access. On PlayStation, the creator must specify whether the party is private or open to the public. Opening to the public will allow anyone to join the voice chat, meaning child players could be exposed to bad actors.[4]
Xbox one has the same features, except if the person receiving the invite does not accept it within a five-minute window, Xbox Live will cancel the invitation, and the person who sent the request will have to resend it.[5] Voice chat can be a great way for socially isolated or anxious kids to connect with others. However, there are dangers as well.
Meeting Strangers in the Lobby
A lobby is where players wait to join a team game in multiplayer games. This feature is also known as matchmaking because it randomly assigns players to teams.
While in the lobby, you can communicate with other joining players. In some instances, you can also check out what the other player characters look like and view their cache of weapons. You can also communicate with other players in the lobby if you have the microphone enabled.
When I play multiplayer games, I disable the microphone feature (mainly by not plugging my headset in), unless I am playing with friends because, even as an adult, I don’t feel comfortable chatting with strangers online.
Bullying, Abuse, and Harassment
People can be cruel over voice chat for no reason. Insulting gaming skills or using racial slurs and sexual comments are typical. I’ve been in lobbies where players threaten to find and kill you as a form of intimidation. Younger kids seem to get the brunt of it.
While scouring the Internet for answers as to why kids are harassed on gaming platforms, I came across blogs and forums dedicated to how annoying young children can be online. A majority of these posts were made by people in their late teens or older. One of the biggest complaints is the profanity and racist comments from younger gamers. While many gamers just hit the mute button, some will take it to the extreme and harass the younger kid until they leave.
As a female gamer, I’ve experienced an unbelievable amount of harassment and abuse, ranging from people calling me names to more extreme measures like asking for sexual favors or making inappropriate noises.
Predators
According to ABC News, predators are grooming kids by making friends with them online and then gaining their trust so that they can meet in person. Fox News has also reported that Fortnite has recently become a favorite place to target young kids because of the volume of people who are playing online all at once.
The interactions between the young child and the predators are not always sexual. For instance, Breck Bednar was 14 years old and loved to play video games with a tight-knit group of people. The only person that was unknown to the group was Lewis Daynes, an adult who developed a strong relationship with Bednar over time. This chilling and disturbing “friendship” came to an end when Daynes lured Bednar to his home and killed him.[6]
Parental Features on Gaming Consoles
There are many ways to keep child gamers safe while playing video games and many of these features are available on the gaming console itself.
Thank you to CSUCI intern, Kassidy Simpson for providing parents with the information they need to help keep their kids safe on multiplayer games. If you learned something fun from this article, please “like” our GetKidsInternetSafe Facebook page so other parents can find us!
