Memes are addictive and trashy, but that doesn’t stop an entire generation of people using and abusing them at any given time. The number of times I have tried to have a conversation over text with my brother and only received memes as answers is ridiculous. In fact, if I had a dollar for every meme that was sent my way, I’d be a debt-free woman. While memes appear pointless and mindless, parents can use them to manipulate their kids into doing homework and chores around the house. How you ask? All it takes is some knowledge about the dankest of memes, and you too shall become a meme lord.
What is a meme?
A meme is a highly shareabledigital image with a witty tagline. They are appealing, because they can be funny, clever, sarcastic, or simply tap into an unspoken but relatable concept. For example, some of my favorite memes are the ones that reference what it is like to have siblings, like the meme of a guy with an arrow through his head, captioned, “I’m sorry, you’re fine, please don’t tell mom.” Every time this tired meme pops up on Instagram, I have to share it. Memes not only offer personal entertainment, they are also a proven way to connect effortlessly to others.
The History of Memes
Believe it or not, memes were not birthed from the Internet! According to Britannica (2019), Richard Dawkins, a British evolutionary biologist, was the first to propose the concept of “memes” in his 1976 work The Selfish Gene. In a recentinterview with Vice (2018), Dawkins defined a meme as “the cultural equivalent of a gene,” meaning that, in the same way genes are passed down from person to person, memes culturally spread through the population. By his definition, cultural phenomena like fashion, slang, and fads can all be considered memes, as well as the traditional image with a caption that we see circulating social media today.
Dawkins’ ideas are elegantly illustrated with today’s dank memes(memes that are overused and overhyped) — for example the “free real estate” and the “salt bae” meme.
Salt bae: CNBC (2018) reported that the man behind the salt bae meme is Nusret Gokce, a chef and restaurant owner who became a viral sensation for the way he dramatically sprinkles salt on the steaks he’s prepared for guests. Since an Instagram video of him performing this action went viral, Gokce’s salt bae has become a dank meme and gets used for anything that is perceived as extra or snobbish.
Check out Gokce performing this amazing meme here.
Free real estate: This meme originated from the TV show, Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!which aired on Cartoon Network’s late night TV Adult Swim. This hilarious sketch is in the form of a commercial in which Tim and Eric are desperately trying to convince a man named Jim to move into a free house. It ends with a close up shot of Tim whispering the timeless line, “It’s free real estate.”
In his YouTube video, “What makes a meme go viral?” Hank Green (2017) attributes the popularity of memes to the bandwagon effect. The bandwagon effectis when people join in on a trend or belief simply because others have told them to. Social media is a great way to increase the popularity of a meme, because it enables us to share them with the world. When someone finds a meme that they adore, they share it with anyone who will find it funny, usually with a caption like, “OMG you have to see this!”
Hank (2017) elaborates that a meme going viral depends on how extreme of an emotion it elicits in us. The more outrageous a meme, the more likely we are to share it. In my opinion, this also has to do with how nostalgic a meme’s content is. For example,the popular meme that features a clenched fist from the popular TV show Arthur can be used for a plethora of situations but is mainly used to elicit subtle levels of frustration and anger.
In my opinion, the reason this meme became such a viral sensation is the feelings of nostalgia it brought to millennials. I adored the TV show Arthur as a child, and every time this meme pops up on my Instagram discover page, it brings back memories from when I was small and cute.
The Most Insane Viral Memes
To become a meme lord, you must be familiar with these iconic memes.
Success Kid: In 2010, an image of a cute little baby at the beach clenching his fist began circulating the Internet. This image is usually used when something awesome happens that was unexpected. Check out its history here.
Distracted Boyfriend: The distracted boyfriend meme was discovered on Shutterstock, a site that houses royalty free images. Its appeal is self-explanatory.
World Record Egg: This is by far one of the most ridiculous things to have happened at the beginning of 2019. It all began when an account on Instagram wanted to see if a photo of an egg could
gain more likes than one of Kylie Jenner’s photos, which had 18 million likes. As of today, the great egg on Instagram has over 53 million likes and 9.9 million followers. This then sparked a series of memes with the captions, “Can this meme get more likes than the Kylie Jenner baby pic?”
Check out their Instagram to keep up-to-date on the hunt for the egg! @world_record_egg. Check out these amazing memes here.
Need more memes, because that just doesn’t feel like enough? Frequentknowyourmeme.com to maintain your newly-acquired meme lord status. You won’t be sorry.
How GKIS Parents Can Become Meme Lords
As the popularity of memes has rapidly risen over the last few years, it’s evident that memes are here to stay. Many people and workplaces are now using them to their advantage. Teachers are using them as motivational tools when they’re grading papers, and workplace managers post them in employee break rooms as funny motivational tools.
Mom, Dad – you too can be a meme lord! Not only can you bring humor into your everyday chore assignments, but you can mortify your kids for being quicker in-the-know than they are!
For example, use them as motivational and study tools when helping kids with homework. There is an entire genre of memes dedicated to random facts. These are known as WTF facts and include some fantastic information that you usually wouldn’t learn in a classroom. Of course, fact check. You can’t believe everything you read on the Internet. Kids love them! My younger brother will spend hours looking at these memes, especially the history ones.
What sites will help GKIS parents become meme kings and queens?
If you can’t find what you’re looking for, make one! Believe it or not, making memes is as simple as pulling up free design sites/apps like Canva or Imgur. Remember, if it doesn’t cause immediate laughs, then it’s probably not a meme!
Dr. Bennett founded GKIS as a service for parents looking to have more fun with their kids, which means joining them where they’re at. Become a meme lord to lighten up, have fun, and encourage mutual meme sharing with your goofy brood. If your kids are younger than eleven, they’ll be in awe of you. If their tweens or teens, you’ll get a mortified eye roll – which Dr. Bennett says is “the best you’re gonna get outta teens.” haha.
Thank you to CSUCI intern, Kassidy Simpson for providing parents with information they need to help become as meme savvy as their kids. Need more support to get Internet savvy and partner with your kids instead of lecture them? You’ll love our GKIS Connected Family Online Course. Designed to help parents lighten up and have fun with their kids while improving screen safety, you’ll see why Dr. B’s kids say she’s “the fun mom.”
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetKidsInternetSafe.
Last week’s article “Should Babies Be Allowed Screen Time?” offered hard guidelines for parents of babies and toddlers. I went right into the WHAT to do in response to the concerns parents come to me with. For some, that is sufficient. But for others, they want to know more WHY in order to feel confident about my recommendations.
This article offers a developmental psychology review/crash course outlining the developmental tasks children are trying to master between the first two years of their lives. With this information you can decide for yourself if screen time would enhance, be neutral, or interfere with your child’s development.
Brain Development
Brain imaging and recording technology has improved dramatically within the last decade, increasingly providing detailed evidence of brain changes throughout the developmental process. In general, the brain continues its remodeling process from infancy to adolescence, with different brain areas showing dramatic progressive change (neuronal growth) and later regressive change (neuronal elimination). This fine tuning results in more sophisticated abilities with age. (Brown).
The mind is a collection of mental modules (specific mental faculties tuned to particular types of environmental input). Each module must be stimulated in order to progressively develop. Therefore, nature (the child’s inherited brain hardware) develops in relation to nurture (experience of the environment). Developmental psychologists call this nature via nurture.
Along with the increased number and variety of brain cells that grow during infancy, myelination will also continue throughout adolescence (Brown). Myelination is the process of sheathing axons (brain cells) with white matter to insulate them and allow them to conduct the electrical impulses that create “thinking.”
In regard to the sequence brain structure maturation, remodeling appears to go from phylogenetically older to newer brain structures.
As higher brain structures develop, we see neonatal reflexes disappear while others develop into more complex strings of behavior.
In the first two weeks, babies are developing healthy respiration, circulation from the umbilical cord to the lungs, body temperature regulation, and feeding and elimination processes.
From three weeks to twelve months, babies are acquiring self-regulated skills of locomotion (crawling and walking), manipulation (hand skills), and self-feeding with solid food. They are beginning to establish a sleep pattern and maintain a sleep–wake cycle, explore sound production in preparation for speech, and establish initial sensorimotor schemes and mastering object permanence. Over time, sleep and behavior patterns change and the baby will develop increasingly complex skills such as visual scanning, reaching and grasping, social smiling, self-soothing, crawling, and walking.
Cognitive & Motor Development
The work of developmental psychologists demonstrate that during the sensorimotor stage of development (0-2 years old), children must physically manipulate objects in a complex environment while simultaneously receiving instruction and stimulation from loving caregivers. With the child’s biological blueprint for learning already in place, environmental enrichment allows the baby to transition from being a reflexive being to mastering purposeful, goal-directed behavior. Parents show the baby how and what to think, slowly building the complexity of teaching with a delighted dance between baby and parent.
Research demonstrates that children learn better in collaboration with others rather than alone. For example, children are more likely to engage in symbolic play if they are playing with somebody else rather than by themselves. The more sophisticated the child’s tutor in advancing the complexity of the play, the quicker the child’s skills advance. Working with another person increases the child’s motivation to learn, requires the child to articulate ideas, allows the child to build upon another’s increasingly complex cognitive strategies, and teaches the child how to understand the beliefs and feelings of others (build empathy).
It has been hypothesized that babies have mirror neurons in multiple parts of the brain that facilitate imitation and learning. A mirror neuron fires both when an action is observed and when the action is actually executed. In other words, the neuron mirrors the other person’s behavior as if it was actually being carried out. Mirror neurons are thought to be a genetic advantage that allows us to anticipate and understand the actions of others prior to learning the activities ourselves, as if the baby was genetically primed for specific types of learning. Researchers believe that mirror neuron systems develop before 12 months of age and proactively facilitate the learning of empathy and language (Falck-Ytter).
Language Development
In order for young children to develop all aspects of language, they must have frequent conversational engagement with caregivers. Research shows that parents tend to create a supportive learning environment, starting with parentese (short, simple, high-pitched, repetitive sentences that is awesome at getting baby’s attention), with the parent gradually speaking with longer and more complex sentences just ahead of the child’s ability.
Intonational prompts by the parent are often successful at affecting a baby’s mood and behavior.
Children of parents who frequently expand, recast, and otherwise extend their children’s speech acquire complex speech more quickly.
During their first year, a baby’s burgeoning familiarity with the phonological (sound) aspects of language is laying the foundation for language development.
Newborns show preference for mom’s voice over any others.
At 2-3 months, infants can distinguish consonant sounds.
By 7 months, they have learned the first rule in pragmatics (social language) to not interrupt and wait for your turn to talk.
By 8-10 months, babies use gestures and facial expressions to communicate and eventually pair with words and then sentences.
Babies are active, rather than passive, learners and, therefore, thrive with interactive stimulation.
Emotional Development
Parental interaction has a profound impact on how emotions develop and what strategies are employed for emotional self-regulation. The better the “fit” between parent and child, the more secure the attachment and the better the child learns to regulate emotion.
Babies develop various emotions in their first two years of life, all of which are highly influenced by how parents react. Young children gradually shift from relying on caregivers for emotional regulation to self-regulation.
By 6 months old, infants have learned some regulation by turning away or seeking objects to suck with boys being more likely to elicit soothing from caregivers than girls.
At 12 months, infants will rock, chew on objects, or move away to soothe.
By 18-24 months, we see toddlers requesting action from caregivers, distracting themselves, and actively suppressing anger or sadness.
There is even evidence that 12-month olds avoid and react negatively to an object that elicited a fearful reaction of an adult on TV. Watch out parents, even teeny-tiny ones are affected by programming choice!
A critical contributor to healthy attachment is the bidirectional, synchronized routines that parents and infants establish over the first few months of the baby’s life. Even as young as two months, babies will show distress by a parent’s lack of emotional responsiveness. (Is it fair to think the child would be distressed watching a nonresponsive character on a screen?) With the coordinated, consistent dance between parent and child, babies learn how to trust the world and build self-regulation. Babies use animated social and verbal expressions, like smiling and crying, to communicate as well as to respond to caregiver expressions and verbalizations. This skill is called social referencing. Babies do best with attentive, delighted, patient caregivers who are present and consistently engaged. The more practiced the dance routine, the better the caregiver and baby get at interpreting each other’s signals and making necessary adjustments, eventually blooming into a mutually satisfying strong reciprocal attachment. The more quality time a caregiver spends developing the dance, the healthier the attachment.
Attachment occurs in four phases:
0-2 months – undiscriminating social responsiveness (baby orients to all humans),
4-5 months – discriminating social responsiveness (recognizes familiar people and becomes anxious with strangers),
7 months – active proximity seeking (actively seeks contact with familiar people),
3 years – goal-corrected partnership (has learned to predict the behaviors of primary caregivers and adjusts own behavior to maintain physical closeness) (Bowlby).
Inconsistent caregiving due to depression or other caregiver characteristics (history of abuse, unhappy marriage, poverty-stricken, overwhelmed, substance abuse, etc.) are more likely to result in resistant attachment and a child who is clingier, cries, and gets angry in his effort to get emotional support and comfort. Other unhealthy attachment styles result from rigid, self-centered caregiving characterized by impatience, unresponsiveness, and negative feelings about the infant or from overzealous parents who provide too much intrusive stimulation (avoidant attachment). Disorganized/disoriented attachment (also unhealthy) results when the child has experienced neglect or abuse. And to make things even MORE complicated, child temperament and the “fit” between mother and child is the primary contributor to how the insecurely attached child responds to his caregiver.
The more secure the attachment, the better the child is at complex and creative problem solving and symbolic play, demonstrates more positive emotions, and is judged by others as more attractive.
During toddlerhood, children are learning to develop autonomy versus shame and doubt. During toddlerhood, we see primarily parallel play with peers (playing next to each other rather than with each other) progressing into more complex interactive socialization. With play, toddlers explore personal boundaries and are starting to develop a conscience.
It’s been awhile since most of us had a developmental psychology class. There’s no better time to review this information than while you’re in the middle of shaping your perfect, tiny little human. I hope this justifies your heroic efforts to manage screen media effectively with your family. I know it gets harder by the year! If you know other caregivers who may like a brush-up, do me a favor and pass it on! To get the free article download “Three Powerfully Effective Ways to Get Your Kids Internet Safe”, click here.
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetYourKidsInternetSafe.
Mumme, D., & Fernald, A. (2003). 12-month olds avoid and react negatively to an object that elicited a fearful reaction of an adult on TV. Child Development,74(1), 221-237.
Piaget, J. (1952). The childs conception of number. London: Routledge & Kegan Paul.
Despite recent recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) to discourage media use for children younger than 2 years old, little ones are spending on average one hour a day in front of screen media, with daily use consistently increasing (American Academy of Pediatrics Council on Communications and Media Executive Committee; Common Sense Media). Does this pose a real risk, or is this discouragement along the lines of just not optimum?
Last weekend on a getaway with my husband, we saw a group of women enjoying an afternoon glass of wine while their toddlers sat strapped into strollers gazing at iPads. What initially struck me was how these women could afford the sedative effects of wine with babies so young. I remember my toddlers draining every ounce of energy I had by the afternoon. As much as I would have loved it, day drinking would have rendered me useless for mothering. Upon reflection, I perhaps should have been more concerned with the fact that developing babies were passively staring at screens instead of crawling on the grass between delighted mommies.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging. If I would have had an iPad available during that stage, I’m certain I would have used it. But I’d have felt guilty about it and craved guidelines about how much was OK and why. Credible authorities like the AAP recommend no to little screen time for infants and toddlers, but the why is a harder question to get at with research still in its infancy.
As a university professor, I’m compelled to give this advice about babies and screen time: “No screen time AT ALL. The frequent synchronized dance between parent and child is key to healthy cognitive, motor, language, emotional, and social development and must not be interrupted. An infant’s brain has a critical window for learning. Mutually interactive input during this phase of development should be optimized. Furthermore, despite a large number of screen media education programs for infants and toddlers on the market, educational merit of such programs remain unproven (American Academy of Pediatrics Council on Communications and Media Executive Committee). Parents, hold off on allowing your children to view screen media until they reach preschool age. And perhaps more importantly, keep your own use at a bare minimum. Attend to your developing babies instead.”
As a mother, I’m compelled to say: “Pffft. Technology is not the enemy. YOU try to keep a little one stimulated every second of the day and tell me a break here and there isn’t warranted. Yes, no use during infancy; but how about occasional 10-minute sessions for toddlers ages 1-2 years when mom and dad are desperate to eat more than three bites at a restaurant. Lighten up and incorporate limited screen time when necessary to an already enriching day.”
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And finally, as a psychologist I suggest moderation. Without question, frequent parent-child interaction is irreplaceable as a support to all types of healthy development. The mother’s and child’s brains are designed to be exquisitely responsive to each other for progressive learning. Hours of eye gazing and verbal and nonverbal encouragement is an intricate dance that builds mutual attachment and teaches the child about the responsiveness and safety of the world. With caregivers soothing and modeling, the child builds self-regulation skills; learning that builds brain structure and will affect him throughout his lifespan.
Furthermore, if the infant is seeking interaction, it is reasonable to believe that watching a person talk AT him without response may be confusing and even distressing to the child, perhaps contributing to attachment problems research has demonstrated with nonreactive, depressed mothers. The child should be reinforced for interactive behaviors, not ignored because the audience is an actor on a screen. We certainly don’t want a child to slow down or stop trying to elicit interaction because of a learning history with failed attempts.
On the other hand, children are resilient and typically participating in a variety of stimulating activities. Occasional, brief parent time-outs are unlikely going to result in catastrophic learning gaps. Furthermore, interactive technological like Skype and FaceTime may give the child access to attachment figures and stimulating activity of pure reciprocal joy they might otherwise have to go without. Just remember that like infants, toddlers are demanding of attention for excellent reason – they need it for healthy development! Also, parents lose time (and don’t realize it) when they get lost in the vortex of technology, so moms and dads need to keep an eye on their own screen media diet as well.
In conclusion, research has demonstrated that excessive screen time use by young children may result in developmental delay. Anecdotal evidence suggests with the explosion of new handheld devices available, more children may be getting negatively affected than ever! Furthermore, educational merit of little ones using screen media remains unproven. The less young children are in front of screens instead of interacting with the real world and real people, the better. Screen media’s inability to read and respond to infant response is a significant handicap and one could imagine how confusing, and perhaps influential, that may be to a young child. However, if parents occasionally allow use of television, phones, or tablets to entertain a child with appropriate content for a short period of time, such as Skype or FaceTime, the baby will probably not experience significant negative effect.
I suggest these sensible GKIS guidelines:
With the exception of occasional interactive media use with parent monitoring, no screen time before one year old. And once your child is 1-2 years old, limit screen exposure to short intervals with appropriate content. This means 10 minutes a day max. 3D toys they can hold and manipulate are better, and person-to-person contact is best!
Choose interactive (Skype, FaceTime) rather than passive screen media whenever possible.
Get used to saying “no” to your child and meaning it. Just because the baby reaches for it, doesn’t mean it’s in her best interest to have it. If you are an awesome parent, you’ll be saying “no” for the next 18 years…a lot! Get used to it.
Model a healthy media diet yourself. Your energy is best spent chasing babies in and out of blanket forts than day drinking with your girlfriends. Remember that infants and toddlers are laying down extensive neurological hardware that needs quality support. As the parent, you provide the necessary scaffolding for development. Despite efforts to “erase the video deficit” (the one-way nature of screen media) by installing questions and pauses in children’s television programming, only a parent has the exquisite sensitivity to respond to a child’s ever-changing cognitive and emotional needs.
If you’re feeling guilty because you’re attending too much to your screen media instead of your child, listen to that inner voice and make adjustments. Infancy flies by and critical learning windows close. You’ll miss it when it’s gone, and your child may too in the form of developmental delay. Soak in all you can before they get to school age. You’ll have plenty of time for day-drinking once they’re grown.
Set up conservative media guidelines from the get-go by considering how your rules may change in the future. I see parents get into trouble, because they are too liberal while their children are young, then get resistance when they later try to scale technology use back as the children become more sophisticated in their ability to seek inappropriate material. Rather than giving a lot of rope and pulling it back in response to a crisis, instead gradually dole it out as your child develops. That means very little media time with young children. If they grow up with rules, it is less likely that they will resist it later. Imagine the gradual opening of a funnel. Start by allowing a little and increase screen access as they gain impulse control.
Use good judgment with screen media content as well as exposure time. There is evidence that, just as a lack of stimulation is harmful to development, so is overstimulation with screen media. Brain research shows that screen media stimulates the pleasure center in the brain (dopamine in the nucleus accumbent) much likes drugs of addiction. While your littles are building their neurological framework, overstimulation may change brain structure. We aren’t yet sure how, but do you want your baby to be the guinea pig?
I hope this helps with your decision about whether to allow your 0-2 year old access to screen media. Nothing is better than making an educated decision and attending to your loving instinct. After considering the developmental variables, what is your opinion about infant/toddler use of screen media? Please pass this information on to any friends or family with young children. If you’d like some step-by-step instruction on how to get started on the right foot, check out my Connected Family Online Course. In 10 easy steps you can stage your home so your kids get the best learning enrichment from screen time while avoiding risk!
I’m the mom psychologist who will help you GetYourKidsInternetSafe.
“Managing Media: We Need a Plan.” American Academy of Pediatrics, 28 Oct. 2013. Web. 24 May 2014.
“Media Use by Children Younger Than 2 Years.” American Academy of Pediatrics Council on Communications and Media Executive Committee, Pediatrics, Vol. 128 No. 5, November 2011.
“Zero to Eight: Children’s Media Use in America.” Reviews & Age Ratings. Common Sense Media, 25 Oct. 2011. Web. 24 May 2014.
