For some teens, social media is the primary method of communication with friends and family. Everyday more than half of pre-teens and teens will log on to one or more on social media sites, and 22% of those will log on more than ten times per day. That’s approximately twenty three years of their life on the Internet, with ten of the years specifically spent on social media sites! With that amount of time spent on social media, it is not surprising that more than 1.8 billion photos and personal posts are uploaded to these sites daily. The photos and posts that adolescents upload have become a part of their normal daily life and development. Some of the posts can be beneficial, but some have risks and consequences associated with them (Gary, & Christiansen, 2009).
My eleven year old daughter is a perfect example of these statistics. She communicates with her friends mainly via Instagram. Even though her dad and I are one of her “followers” and we feel like we are in the loop about her online activity, research shows that:
- 12% of teens admit that their parents do not know about all of their social media accounts,
- 33% of teens report that their parents know little to nothing about what they do online, and
- 22% of parents have never spoken to their children about Internet safety and etiquette.
As a busy parent, my days are hectic! It’s too easy to allow my daughter to spend time on the Internet while I get things done. Even though she uses screen media in my presence, I am not always looking directly at the computer screen, her smartphone gives her Internet access outside of home, and I am not up to date with the “lingo” and sites she and her friends use. For example, I just learned of two acronyms that I was unaware of, POS and PA911. They stand for “parents over shoulder” and “parent alert”. These are used by teens to alert someone they are communicating with online or via text to watch what they are saying so parents don’t see. I am now aware that I cannot be 100% sure of everything my daughter is doing online and am part of the statistics.
To help her make healthy online choices, I must be educated about the risks and benefits of online activity so I can share them with her.
Here are some concepts that parents should go over with their children so they are able make good online choices and guide them safely through the Internet:
Negative Feedback
Negative feedback refers to unkind comments on social media. Pre-teens and teens have the tendency to be preoccupied with how they are being perceived by their peers and highly sensitive to their opinions. Most of the time social media elicits healthy feedback within peer groups with responses such as “likes” and positive comments on posts and pictures. But 7% of teens report only receiving negative feedback on their online activity causing lowered self-esteem and feelings of insecurity (Koutamanis, Vossen, & Valkenburg, 2015).
Replicability
Once something has been uploaded to the Internet, it is still searchable even if the person who uploaded later deleted it. Replicability happens if a post or picture is copied and pasted to someone’s personal computer for future or personal use. Copying and pasting is not always done by someone the “poster” knows. Social media sites have the option to “share” a picture or post giving access to thousands of people in a matter of seconds. Once the image or post is someone else’s hands, they are free to do what they want with it, including altering it and reposting it. Anything uploaded can fall into anybody’s possession. Once posted online, no post or photo is safe from copying, altering, or sharing (Moore, 2012).
What gets posted online, stays online
Anyone who has ever used the Internet leaves behind a digital footprint. These footprints are an ongoing collection and recording of EVERYTHING an individual does online. Yes, that even includes websites that have been viewed and searched, accounts created, pictures that have been uploaded, deleted content, and comments left on sites.
Teens need to be aware that there may be future implications from their Internet activity, especially what is on their social media profiles and pages. For example, as many as 75% of employers use social media as part of a background check for potential employment and certain universities also use these platforms when deciding which applicants will be granted admission (McBride, 2011). Would your teen be prepared to turn over their social media accounts and passwords to the college of their choice?
Personal information
Posting too much personal information can lead a predator right up to a teen’s front door. An astonishing 20% of teens feel it is safe to post personal information and public blogs and social media sites. According to the Pew Research Center, 92% use their real name, 71% share the school they go to, 91% show their full face in their profile picture, 71% say what city/town they live in, 20% post their phone number, and 82% share their birthday. When a teen shares too much personal information, it not only makes them an easy target for a predator to find, it also gives identity thieves the information they need to ruin a teens future credit. Once credit is harmed from identity theft, it is hard to turn it back around.
What can parents do to promote positive and safe digital activity for their teen?
Follow age guidelines for specific sites and apps
The Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA) was put in place to prohibit websites from collecting personal information of kids under the age of thirteen without parental permission. This is why popular sites such Facebook and Instagram require users to be thirteen or older. Allowing children to join sites by falsifying their age, sends mixed messages about lying and online safety (O’Keefe, & Pearson, 2011).
Teach them healthy digital citizenship
Just as one maintains a positive identity offline, one must also attend to their online reputation. Teach your teen to think about possible future repercussions before they view or post online. Be prepared to have ongoing discussions about what pictures and comments could imply to others (e.g., might be seen as provocative, unkind, or unfavorable to their character) (Moore, S., 2012). Remember that grandma (and UCLA) are watching!
Set up regular GKIS family meetings
Having regular family meetings about issues pertaining to online activity can keep parents informed about what their teen is up to online and offline. Parental involvement and communication is key to promoting healthy internet activity. Family meetings shouldn’t be used as a time for punishing online misuse, but rather a time to mutually teach each other and share issues that may come up due to screen use.
For more specific parenting help on sensible rules and regs, check out the GKIS Connected Family Online Course.
Onward to more awesome parenting
Thank you to Kathleen Gulden, CSUCI intern, for authoring this awesome GKIS article!
Onward to More Awesome Parenting,
Tracy S. Bennett, Ph.D.
Mom, Clinical Psychologist, CSUCI Adjunct Faculty
GetKidsInternetSafe.com
Works Cited
Gray, D. , & Christiansen, L. (2009). Protecting adolescents’ personal information online: Constraints and parameters. Journal of Information Privacy & Security, 5(4), 31.
Koutamanis, M. , Vossen, H. , & Valkenburg, P. (2015). Adolescents’ comments in social media: Why do adolescents receive negative feedback and who is most at risk?. Computers in Human Behavior, 53, 486-494.
McBride, D. (2011). Risks and benefits of social media for children and adolescents. Journal of Pediatric Nursing, 26(5), 498-499.
Moore, S. (2012). Digital footprints on the internet. International Journal of Childbirth Education, 27(3), 86.
O’Keeffe, G. , & Clarke-Pearson, K. (2011). The impact of social media on children, adolescents, and families. Pediatrics, 127(4), 800.
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